Sunday, December 30, 2012

Why are there more Apples,



   Than Jacks in the cereal?.....  A little worried I haven't received my annual phone call from my life Insurance agent, She usually calls to check up on me to make sure i didn't cash in on the policy........I may attend a New years Party this year,despite the fact that they used to celebrate by killing Jews....... Buying shoes has got to be one of the all time worst things for me to do, most shoes look a like the ones that are cheap must be cheap for a reason the ones  that are expensive look the same as the cheap ones, and the people at the store are happy with my selection cause that's the ones they want to get rid of, the lesson to you if you're in a relationship maintain it and keep it all costs until you get shoes and afterwards is afterwards....Why do stores keep shirts in boxes, where you have to open the box to  see the shirt?....... Two Numbers one all the way out in Lawwwn Island, with an accent to match, we just spoke once i never called her back, and the other with Big brains in  Staten Island  I haven't called her yet......Time to Quit this Nonsense probably But Wait...........

Thursday, December 27, 2012

G0d Give us Memories,

So we can have roses in December...... After a pretty miserable couple of weeks, I decided to check out the online scene once again- A lot of familiar faces, and my profile is still ridiculous, i haven't hit yet, but got a few hits not all that flattering, but not too bad either, will update should anything come to fruition....... She is looking for someone whose Tall, Dark, and Handsome, Not too Dark I joked She X'ed  me out Second time I've been accused of being racialist on this site.....The "Sallah Shabati" Israeli Movie about  immigrant life in  transition camps  is a classic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZ5ZjGpksI4........ Good News EE will be back, his Priceless advise and concoctions of koolaide mixes have been greatly missed here........According to Schedule, a Third Intifada Will come around late June 2013, in  " Uncle Rocky" conspiracy theory fashion This occurs roughly every Thirteen years the first in Dec 1987 The Second in Sept 2000 The Third?...........

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Sometimes Love, Just Ain't


   enough...... Not terribly excited  about Selling my Apt. Its going roughly for cost, minus some fees and Taxes, and of course a $1400 bill to fix the heat the good news is I get to remove RE from my will I had her as the sole Representative to sell the place in any event something should happen to me...... Pacta Sundt Servenda I still have obligations should i ever win the lotto, but agreements must be honored....... "Do they Know its Christmas time" will always and forever  be relevant......Cost price = Free when it comes to friends and Family....Sad, Surprised! to See former Israeli Chief Rabbi Bakashi Doron Get indicted on Fraud apparently he was signing off "Rabbinate Certificates" to those that didn't merit it thus enabling them higher state Salaries......Speaking of Religion I find it slightly weird  praying at the Sitt Shul which again is like our version of the Atlantic Ave Mosque that some or a lot depending on how you count  Kids wearing Black Hats Seldom pray and talk in the back, Im usually late and pray in the back that's how I know........

  

Monday, December 24, 2012

In Syria There is NO mention,

of the Six Day war, If you we're to look at archives dating back to that time, I think they say that some Shylock's Purchased the Golan Heights, rather than the Israelis Routing them........G0d works in mysterious ways Walking home on a Friday I was mimicking a Rabbi Cousin of mine of which I am proud to say I do a great imitation, Ten Minutes into the Mimicking  I Run right into him, he told me he's my Best friend cause he cares about my Soul...... A reader submits  Should a Rabbi comment on a Scantily dressed Cashier and offer her $10 big ones to purchase a sweater from Conway's or should he refrain from looking at her?.......Props to the Jews that wish People a "Chag Samech " On Xmas........I don't think I ever want to visit Australia I heard it sucks .......Watching my 7th grade Nephews Basketball game, I was shocked to see kids that age being able to master all kinds of zones Impressive?.......A Pseudo Aunt  Asked me why I didn't tell her I was going to the Zionist State? I told her the truth cause I didn't want to Schlep a Valise for an A$$$hole like you or any one else......The Barclay's Center is really Nice, But ill be damned if ever pay 400 big ones to sit Five rows up, The Tickets were free but came with a bunch of kids, We ate in retail Value of food $187 not bad.......

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Dont be Fuelish.....




     was a slogan used during the 70s Oil crisis. Thanks to Sheepresh Thapa my accountant from queens via Nepal for delivering  me a few Gallon of Gas of which I shared Some with my friends.On the other Hand A brother of mine with a gas "connection" called me to tell me to have my parents Rush to Gas Station X. Frantically I called my father only to catch him on the throne, He was sensitive to the fact that I told him not to even bother wiping and rush over- The Good news he filled up his tank the Bad......... Was it racialist of the Barclays Ctr to Have metal detectors and beefed up security for a Jay Z concert and practically none for a Barbara Streisand?........ With the Devastation of Hurricane Sandy, I was kind of glad NOT to hear that this happened because of Sabbath Desiccators, or infidels, and also didn't mind so much that people were posting their acts of kindness All over FB and other Social networking outlets...... Sitt Shul 2012 - Attention "NO Arak or Alcoholic Beverages allowed on premises Anybody bringing Alcohol is desecrating the Holiness of the our prayers"......... Supposedly men were getting belligerent beating the crap out of each other and their wives which caused the Sitt Shul to go back to Prohibition.....

Thursday, November 1, 2012

"no new blog entries,

 blowing off your friends yet again... i don't understand why you've changed so much".....Congratulations to Munster on his Nuptials, Prior to the event we set odds as to how much people would give him, Not to pat myself on the back but i was pretty accurate especially with his cousins..... Despite not receiving an enveloped invitation and Thanks to a cousin that tagged along  I stayed for a record 1:44:41.9 Seconds, spending a good portion of the time looking for her.Thus far i  am 3-3 in Munster family weddings........Big Jelly has Moved to McDonald ave in Brooklyn, and also after a tearful farewell i Left Selim the dream Apt on E 7th for greener pastures on OP and Ave L - Uncle AAhron has not moved in with me...... Yet....... A good friend of mine is probably pissed at me for Skipping his Housewarming and Cards Function...... After Receiving Three Tickets in a week totaling $260 Bones, I really made sure to deface and defile both check and ticket I hope I don't get in trouble for writing F- U all over every empty space of the Ticket and Envelope........Reminding my Chinese Readers That Tuesday is Erection Day Please don't forget to vote.....Memorials for R. Meir kahana the first terror victim of Al Queda and PM Yitzhak Raabin on the 4th and 5th of Nov.Hopefully They wont have a Raabin Festival this Year..... Magen Day Brought in Gilad Shalit and his Posse for a Festival Visit. The Purpose ? No clue Shalit who has indubitably suffered is no Hero, he Deserves sympathy and Support but to be paraded around and celebrated is wrong Especially Knowing how many bereaved families have suffered and continue to Suffer from the Israeli capitulation to the exchange. Yes I am happy he is home, But it should not be celebrated compassion for the Families, Rumor has it the Elchan Tannenbaum and Ilan Grapel Festival is next month......

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Revolt?,


   The unprecedented Seventy Minute Bidding Session On Kol Nidre Eve, and the Running of the Torah's like the 4 X100 Relay with it being passed from One  person to another like a Baton and raced across the Synagogue several times. There was almost  a Mutiny as many Congregants were Aghast at the Higher Archy that were running the Show luckily cooling heads prevailed and the Day of Atonement went back on course...... The Day of Atonement symbolizes man's one year contract with g0d, Except it's signed at end of the year, and if g0d decides not to renew, you're in a lot of trouble..... The Islamic day parade which ran from 42nd an Madison down to the Madison Sq park on 25th Showcased 0.0 Spectators, As several groups and organizations marched down Usually with the Same "There is no gd but allah and Moohamed is his only prophet" only in Arabic and truth be told when one hears that chant time to get the hell out of there its pretty radical and scary as they shout it with fervor, I do recommend they get some new songs, chants or slogans. The Marchers had to be shifted over to the sides for several blocks to avoid stepping in Horse Dung. They gave out Free Korans, i  didnt dispose mine but just left it there I have enough crap on my plate the last thing i need is a Fatwa.......Rip Avraham "Bren" Adan a decorated fighter of four Israeli wars who is the Face of the " Israeli Iwo Jima" as he raised the "Ink Flag" over Eilat  in 48 ....Seven Years  to the tragic Death of Larry Major, one of the All time good guys Some days i miss my friend............

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

What time did you Finish?


 Is perhaps the most Frequently asked question over the holiday Season, I have no clue what the infatuation is with everyone comparing and contrasting what time the prayers finished.......... In an almost unprecedented landmark case rivaling Plessy V. Ferguson, a woman purchased the Opening of the Torah During the prayer for wealth, Thankfully she wasn't of the Feminist denomination, but had she insisted on performing the duty according to  the ACLU her case would be a Slam Dunk.......Quitting FB has spared me the generic happy and healthy New Year's greetings etc........I vetoed calling Former Friend EE to ask for forgiveness, the argument "What the Hell did i do to him?"  He's pissed at me.......The Mohamed movie was so bad it made it a must see, i was amazed that even super modernized Muslims that I know and friendly with were deeply offended, this has been worse than the story of the Michigan man who  named his dog Mohamed....  and Speaking of Mohamed this Sunday is  the Islamic Day Parade........

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Latkas With Bacon,


is that an Oxymoron? While on a visit to the Swing state of Florida, and dining with Rose Levine we ordered the Latkas, They didn't tell us it comes with Bacon on top of it - We didn't return it.....I realized that i may be a little not normal, Trying to retrieve my boarding pass from the Kiosk at the JetBlue Counter, the Error message  kept coming up, pounding the machine and using Arabic Profanity at an Airport made  me come to that conclusion..........L'Shana Tova to all my readers - It never gets old for me to use the L' when i greet people again it's on my Rose Levine Theme...... It was pointed out to me that I chew gum with my mouth open and loud, I have been practicing in front of a mirror usually in my car to curtail this hideous habit, I wish it was pointed out to me Sooner.....After several years of praying at Uncle Joe's for the High Holidays I switched to Bnie Yitzhak  the cost a whopping $250 for the seat, Unlike scalping  the shul offers no discount, even when they have last minute seats available, Last Year's cost $101 which I think i may have stiffed them due to the fact that They wouldn't even give me a Knockoff Aliyah, The reason: Wallahi......

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

My Mohamed Bouazizi,



 Moment as far has tickets have come, and No I wont set myself on fire .The Scene of the crime Ave W and Ocean Pkwy,The Crime Red Light, The punishement 50 Bones  All I must say is  my condolences to the poor bastard Bloomberg SS worker who will be processing this Ticket.....Operation Orchard Five years ago Today 090607, Imagine Assad With Nukes?......." Our Greatest hopes and worse fears are Seldom Realized". Our Worst fears have been realized tonight.............. They' re all gone.. Jim Mckay on 090572 on the Murder of the 11 Israelis in Munich...... When i had a sort of  gambling Issue some 15 years, The first thing I used to do was check the Lines every morning, Now that I have advanced to Insomnia, I check the TV Listings for late hours to hopefully look forward to something.......Another Lie that caught up with me, i ran out of Shul  on Saturday to avoid some people claiming I had to go Number Two, While walking on the Boardwalk on Monday night the lie caught up with me and in the worst way, the young lady walking with me didn't seem amused..... I made it .......

Thursday, August 30, 2012

The People Say,

 going to a see a Broadway Musical show should be like Halley's comet good enough to see once every 75 years or so. It was Shocking to see a full house 581 people stuffed into a crammed theatre to watch the Musical Ave Q- My recommendation is they should provide more leg room and wider seats for the first few rows. It made it real difficult to sleep. The Highlights of the Show Intermission, and when the cast took their bows. I have Eclipsed my quota for shows by the way as I was fortunate to sleep through the Fame Show Around Seven Years ago.....Out of Nine Summer Weekends I attended the Rubin Household an unprecedented 5 times that's a 55% show clearly making me eligible for the "Shnoora" Hall of fame.......Looking forward to help my parents unload their car from the Holy city- My Father maximizes every square inch of the car, implementing his "It has to fit"-policy, Should be Fun.......

If You a drive


     in a car with out air conditioning  and you're windows rolled up in a hot summer day would you lose weight.?.......According to sources not named Munster and EE it cost $200 for a 15 minute helicopter ride from South Jersey to the city, There are a lot better things i can think of that I would pay $200 for except that only lasts around 8 minutes.......On an 80 + Degree Day I tried the car Experiment Driving from Central Jersey to Wrong Island, sweating Profusely I lasted 30 minutes and 11 seconds before succumbing to the Air and windows, I don't think I lost weight.........This Wed I will be doing something That I have not done in over Seven Years, Nope it's no what You're thinking..........quitting a 3 a day Red Bull Habit hasn't been the easiest thing but so far so good it's been a week, the bad news of course my appetite is as ravenous as ever...... I'm Back on Red Bull

Sunday, August 12, 2012

PLease Do Not

Read this content on Yom Shabbat and Yom Chag........Here is Why I hate Some Jews, After an El AL Computer glitch Tickets to the Jewish State were being Sold for 80% off regular price, I am Happy that these people were able to benefit off this glitch, But G0DD#%@it  No one wants to hear, How You Bought 87 Tickets for you're relatives and future babies Etc, My wish for them is them to be seated next to Big fat Smelly Haradeim and that the bathroom gets stuffed, but of course a safe flight........ Shuls generally allocate you a space around you're seat of roughly 2 x 2 , Which perhaps is a little tight,non the less sufficient and double the seat space and leg room of El Al . I Implore the Petitioners of the lord  to please stay in the confines of you're space and DO NOT pray with you're hands on someone else is seat, or Shake Excessively maybe you're neighbor would like to sit while he waits for the prayers to resume etc...... The Levi Aharon Yeshiva Chinese Auction time again Some of the potential winners Leah A. Zazel, Shara Moota, Ben Zona, Ian, Alla Abouk  Repeat customers Phil A. Sheeyo and Lou Stools..........

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Every Breath You Take,

 confirm and confirm that's it not A$$ breath. When i was younger my father taught me a way of checking for bad breath deep breath into you're hand bottle it up and smell it. Ever since i have been following that advice religiously. With the improved technology,there are several bad breath apps that i subscribe to free of charge of course,i don't think they are very accurate, but none the less I pay close attention to them. A good peace of advice is people who live in glass houses shouldnt walk around naked, and always know that when a girl is reluctant to make out, and is dismissive - not to make assumptions just remember every breath you take.......A Reader Suggested we Replace World Leaders like they changes Coaches in Sports, Stupid Idea, but fun Experiment........ DM asks .How can the Knicks Possibly Fire Offensive Genius Mike D'anonti- Clearly His "Stand around, Dribble the ball to death, and then Shoot 3sss and get the offensive Rebound if you miss" offense  Has done wonders for Team USA as they're averaging well over 100 points with Eight minutes less of Game time.......

Saturday, August 4, 2012

In espionage ,

Spies are instructed to carry with them cyanide pills should they ever get pinched, lately I have been carrying with me Imodium, cause The urge for Number Two has been coming to me in the most inauspicious situations, on dates, long drives etc..... The Times they are a changin, Why Would Team USA wear Red and The Russian White and Blue in an Olympic Volleyball match, I was rooting for the wrong team for over Five Minutes......USA Basketball is a Joke, Lithuania with two marginal NBA players and an aging Eureoleague star took the Americans  to the wire, They Ran the Same Screen and Roll play over and over again, I'll never get it........Play like a champion is the sign that Notra Dame taps on as they run onto the field before football games for inspiration, A good friend in honor of his wife donated a plaque at the Shaari Zion in her honor I won't say what it cost him but it rhymes with " jive mouthsand trollers".  Several of the congregants have began tapping the sign Truly inspirational.......

Monday, July 30, 2012

"HAMAN" On Steroids,


 " Please join us for the Pre fast meal, and breaking the fast meal "- I felt like Haman Being invited Queen Esthers feast's except this is of course would  be a 3rd and 4th feast after Spending the Sabbath by the Rubins. Who have been nothing but magnanimous hosts, and despite NR providing me with a "Summer Pass" - i do feel like it's taking advantage  " Yesh Gvool" There is a limit.......Is it  unpatriotic to root  for the Argentina  women Beach volleyball over the Americans cause they were a lot hotter..........On T'ishe Be Av Everyone reads Ehica or book of Lamination's together and many scream it out in fervor which leads to a lot of commotion and discombobulation, and about a 4 second difference when finishing, A suggestion would be just like the book of Esther let the cantor read it a loud it would make it a lot easier to follow........ RIP Sherman Helmsly, I really hope he wasn't gay, cause then I would have to look at his character George Jefferson in a different way....Is a little bag of Kellogg's Cheddar chips kosher if it doesn't have a certification, but the same exact bag in a bigger size does?.........

Friday, July 27, 2012

Fact Finding Mission,


      is my next excuse for planning a trip to the Zionist state, makes it sound Important, but in truth i just go for the hell of it ........" should you're brothers go to war, while you yourselves sit here" ( Numbers 32 - Moses to Reuben and Gad) time to enlist the Haradeim.......Dating ambiguity even though things have been "over" for roughly a week - i have not been ready to commit to calling anyone else- I've been deflective and not forward with my answers when proposed with new girls to take out, i guess the "circumstances" of how things ended have been on my mind......Serving as a liaison between RE and my tenants who have been complaining  of getting "nasty texts" from her, i am going through a period of Detente with them, But still forced to confirm all Scheduling and showing, Appeasement of both sides is probably the only strategy to deal with this............



Thursday, July 26, 2012

The "Koolaide",

is one thing i did not miss over the last few weeks, that being the EE "Koolaide" and his expertise in Women's studies, In Short he is trying to sell me something that hasn't come for over Two Years No Thanks...... Murphy's Law doesn't exist for me when it comes to gambling, as the only person to ever lose money on Poker expert AM is me and the streak continues as he failed to place in the WS of Poker coming in place 1508 out of over 7000. With Elections looming this year, I don't know the line for this year's presidential election, but after the fiasco of 2008- where Sean Hannity told us " Do not let you're heart be troubled" and insisted Mccain still had a chance I took the bait and at 13-1 odds Mccain got routed....

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Being Under the Weather,

has done wonders for my appetite, and as I stepped on the Scale at the Dr's office It Yielded the same results as the week before  202- I barely put anything in my mouth, sweated  like a pig, and drank exclusively water, There is clearly a problem...........Speaking of being under the weather G0d Must have heard me Use that excuse as i was embarrassed to be a dinner guest at the Rubin's Two Weeks in a row, So he decided to wait till the following week to really put me under the weather.......Every middle aged white male make the same joke when handing a large bill to a cashier - upon checking the bill with the pen the gringo says just printed it in my basement it's fresh and laughs at his own stupid joke - my personal favorites are the thrifty Jews whom to Avoid any discrepancy always fold the bill 3 or 4 times that way the cashier is forces to stretch it out to reveal the bill and avoid any malfunctions with the change......

"Circumstances "

     have brought the Omer Period of the blog to an end not aftet 49 days but rather 45....... Firstly an Apology to Munster, who generously invited me to his "MAZZA" engagement party, and of which i could have made a stronger effort to attend and didn't So to Munster I apologize for causing any Hurt, Harm or Injustice.....After roughly Six weeks of Seeing a Terrific girl  "Circumstances" have caused the relationship to End, out of respek I won't comment, Except to say There are no regrets, and wish and hope nothing but the Best for her, and that i am still obligated Should i hit the lotto with her Numbers to Share half the proceeds Fifty- Fifty..........The one year anniversary of the "Ashley Dupree Money" hair Surgery passed and just like Multiculturalism in Europe it Has failed miserably..... NBC Broadcaster Bob Costas has promised to Honour the Eleven Israelis Murdered in Munich with his Own on the Air Moment of Silence, When it's all Said and Done This Will no Doubt be the Singular moment that Will Define his career.......

Friday, June 8, 2012

Is an Invitation,


       an Invitation? I Texted my Friend whom I wont mention his name, but it rhymes with Flumster "Mazal Tov"?? Unsure weather he proposed to his longtime girlfriend or not his response "Yups"-I congratulated him he replied " Amen Thanks, come tnight xx43 E xx" and that was it. An Invitation Specialist Commended me for not going, because it was NOT a real or sincere Invitation, and he didn't really want you to go, but felt compelled to tell you like to exonerate himself of any guilt.The truth is I just didn't go cause I'm sort of Anti- social and got home late, I am 100% not offended...........Driving on the SI Expwy I Saw my friend Utep's Rabbi Alouf cousin, The Haradey Raffle is back I pledged to buy tickets, and promised i wouldnt spend my Future winnings by Shermootas...........

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Selim the Dream

 my land lord and I have been spending a lot of time together. Since he's put the Apt for rent he has been flooded with inquires. He tricked me by telling me a young single lady was coming in to see the place so i hung around to see her, but she  turned out to be in her late 50s. Also he has been trying to Set me up with a 29  year old girl whom her best qualities seems like that shes 29, comes from a rich family,  and that  her father never speaks in shul . I am yet to call, and have been avoiding his calls......Another call for a speed dating event of which i have my reservations about since i am not the best at these scenarios and plus I am sure  i would be running into some girls that Potentially hate my guts. " It's only Seven Minutes"  it flies by, tell that to someone being water boarded how long Seven Minutes is, Once again Respectfully Decline.......I am certain that something bad is going to happen, I gave someone Yemenite ( against NR rules) my Information to unlock his Iphone- with the promise that nothing bad can happen.........

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Wedding Season,

means to me NO parking spots. Thanks to the weddings and functions at The Shaari Zion and Lebanese Shuls  From Ocean pkwy and ave S to E 9th and  ave U not one spot to be found. 18 min and 44 Seconds later parking on E. 4th  I cursed the Nuptials, that they should not last. Road rage got the best of me. Remorsefully i Reneged on my curse and apologized.........I had a little bit of a hard time understanding the British Girl met online,over the phone, but we should be going out Sunday Around Fivifish, The Royal Family's Last name is Windsor by the way.......... Mazal Tov to reader and friend Munster on his engagement I suggested he propose on the Float at the Zionist parade,but he did it another way. Thanks to EE and my sister for delivering  the good news to me, they found out from Instagram..The Munster family will now account  for 50% of the Functions i will be attending over the last 3 years............

Monday, June 4, 2012

The Slump is

over and the dating Taheyedda is finished. PH the lovely young lady that set me up with Clara to refresh is the " Beautiful great figured great girl" Texted me " She really Enjoys talking to u"- to me that meant either three things A) I have a face for talking on the phone B) That things can only go downhill from there C) Things can go great. We did have a really fun and interesting conversation to me anytime Menachem Begins name gets mentioned its fun and NO i don't not get that tingly Feeling up my leg Ala chris mathews........My field goal percentage in the online dating world is slightly improving- just giving myself an additional outlet. I spoke with a Not so Young but lovely Pseudo-SY woman and a really cute very early 30s  English girl who lives in NY, She didn't mind me asking about the accent......This Week marks the 30th Anniversary of the First Lebanon War "Peace for the Galile", many argue that this was the war that turned Israel from David to Goliath,  Forty Five  years to the Six Day War, and the Liberation of Jerusalem, Thirty one years to the Amazing Operation Opera- the Attack on the Iraqi Tammuz Nuclear reactor- the Head of the Mossad at the time was so against the operation he refused to attend the meetings and sent his deputy, the prime minister at the time was...... and  the Second Anniversary of me getting free shirts from my Brother, my only complaint i wish he was taller, that way the sleeves would reach beyond my wrist , but i can still roll them up and   look fancy...........


Why would a great girl


  Beautiful with a great figure, want to go out with me ?  I asked the same  question last Year when offered to go out with this Mysterious girl, and asked again Friday. Of course there are some Buts to the Story, But aside from that it sounds like a slam Dunk, We had a real nice Conversation and Showtime is Thursday night for Now...........I was Babysitting for 3 kids this Shabbat, As my Brother had Knee Surgery and my Sister in law Stayed with him at the Hospital, A 12, 10 and 6 Year old, I did what every good Non parent would do to get them to behave, I bribed them cost me $127 and 8 packs of sour Sticks......I wore my $13.98 socks from Century, made me feel like a million Bucks......Happy Birthday to my Sister and Sister in law, i am not allowed to post the age.......

Friday, June 1, 2012

The Koolaide.....

     EE has been adamant that it's all about the confidence, being aggressive, overbearing  and suffocation tactics with a Couple of girls that would get me to the Promised land well not that Promised land. I refuse to drink the Poisonous Koolaide and insist again that the key ingredients is Rich and Good Looking, With that the Notebook of the RE saga officially closes.... After 24 hours I am ready to quit Jdate again......just Like a cat i was dodging things i  committed to doing First a date with IL, meeting up with a relative, attending a friends Function, But things caught up with me as I am Forced to Be In LI this weekend, i know better not to forget the baby wipes........My landlord isn't very happy to see me leaving, But he continues to try to push on me   Thoroughly unattractive girls, "But a lot of Masari".........

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Women are like,

parking spots extremely difficult finding one, and when you do a better spot opens up - K.H......"hey do You know Rxxxxx" very well Respectfully Decline nothing more would i like to travel 120 miles out of my way to take out and Entertain a girl- whom ill hear how tired and Busy and she is. in all fairness i doubt she would want to tell me that also......Suckered by Two emails, and a flirt i resigned up Yup yet again for Jdate. One is a 41 year old "willing to convert" girl whom intrigued me with her email about her trip to Israel and the Israeli- Syrian Border. The Other was a very cute 38 Year old from Queens, she said " you seem  interesting. let me know if you'd like to talk or meat"......How Late is Late? turned out that both IL girl and I decided that it late ( after 1000) was to late to meet up- reading the transcripts of the Texts- We both wanted to cancel but wanted the other to - i was the bad guy, we should be getting together around Sukkos time........


Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Is Hank Aaron,

The HR Champ or is it Barry Bonds with an Asterisk. The Term Great guy* for me generally Denotes the asterisk .Patronage is the worst form of Flattery. I hate,Loathe, despise when I am referred to that like that. Some people are born great,some achieve greatness and others have greatness thrust upon them ,and not unless we all are great, than that term should not be used. other terms I don't use are Holocaust I use the word Shoah, that term regrettably has been cheapened and overused in situations that pale In comparison to the Shoah.....According to GM, when one sneezes, only one G0d Bless you is sufficient no matter how many times you sneeze, the law was also backed By etiquette specialist NR......The frivolous lawsuit brought on by the buxom breasted young lady,against a haredy lingerie company  should no doubt be thrown out, but for the record Boobs can never ever be to big........

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Sitting on a Park Bench,



    On Queens Blvd Waiting for over 27 minutes for IL girl , IL canceled on me a couple months ago due to the fact that she was sick, We remained fb friends non the less. She Smelled really nice and was a lot prettier than i expected.  For the record This doesn't violate the dating Tehaydeeya, As this was technically Scheduled 2 months ago. Took a few minutes to get rid of the formalities, but after that except for my plate looking like a war zone and dropping the Chocolate bananas of my crepe on my pants Things ran smooth, There are a couple of Buts, But  their will be church On Sunday......... DS one of the all time good guys suggested he may have someone for me He Refereed to her As the "Sunshine"-That's the term Menachem Begin described What Peace is. I Remembered her name and that she was NOT receptive to me, he Said he'll still ask.......The Fish Experiment will End tomorrow, I know I mentioned it before and it sucks that i can post some pictures but some of these girls are so angry their  profiles are Insanely Funny.........Caspar Weinberger The Former Defense Secretary when running for AG of California " The Jews Didn't vote for me cause they Knew I wasn't Jewish and The Gentiles didn't vote for me cause they thought I was".......

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The countdown to the

 Pentecost is here and with that goes that annual Story of the tablets. When G0d decided to hand out the 10 commandments he approached every other Nation before the Jews, one by one they turned Him down saying they can Abide by either the though shall not kill, or though shall not Steal etc..When he approached the Jews, they asked G0d is it Free, he of course replied yes, so they requested Two and hence the story of the Torah and Tablets..... R Meir Kahana Added an 11th commandment for the Jews Though shall melt.......Here is an Article of A Turkish Writer, Who will probably be Jailed soon  about the Israeli conspiracy http://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/the-worlds-silliest-spy-network-.aspx?pageID=449&nID=21363&NewsCatID=398. A worth read..........

The power of prayer


      A While ago, A certain individual Prayed for bad stuff to happen to me, The reason , i shared some information about him to his family, about someone cooking Supper for him . He Drew A circle, stood in it and waited for the bad things  to happen for me- and Wallah They did, a Gash opened up by my right eye, A customer Stiffed me out of a Substantial amount of Money and two girls did not return my calls. I repented and the Sudden stroke of bad luck ceased... On the verge of Finally reaching the promised land, and securing that elusive Title that betrayed him for many years Coach  was unceremoniously UnHired by the MD School. No Specific Reasoning was given and Just like that his tenure at the school was over Vowing to get Revenge coach  turned to a higher authority He Drew his circle Stood in it and prayed that all the perpetrators that were behind his Firing would get there day and be punished for their actions. At the Same time  Half way across the world  The Israeli Govt was getting ready to implement their criminal plan of evacuating the Settlements of the Gaza Beltway community under the ruse of Security. The Center left Govt and its cronies began The largest Israeli Military personal operation Since the 1973 Yom Kippur War. Fifty Five Thousand  Brave men and women to evacuate 8500+ Jews. Coach Extended his Circle and decided to channel his prayers that all those who had a part in the Gross miscarriage of justice of Both his termination and Expulsion will incur The "Mini Wrath of G0d ", not to be confused with operation Wrath of G0d of course that being Secret hit squad of the Israeli Mossad after The Munich Massacre.  The Operation ran parallel to the the firing and Expulsion The first victims were  principle Dr TunaCod Fell Ill and was forced to step down  at same time the Architect  of the Expulsion Ariel Sharon suffered a massive Stroke of which left him in a vegetative state. As time Passed others were slowly feeling the Effects of the Curse The New principle who was a deputy Rabbi Blackgreen was fired in disgrace, as was the head coach  Coach MacDinkins, While this was going on the Defense minister, The Chief of Staff, and the Rabbi of the IDF as well as several others were forced to leave their posts in disgrace. The Domino effect was felt and most recently The Head Rabbi Hacham Shamai and the number one Posheya or Thug in Israel Ehud Olmert has gone down and hopefully out for the count. Justice Finally Served..........



Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Song of Songs,

if read for 40 Nights in a row, and upon completion you are to be Blessed. Women's specialist EE was adamant and insisted that I read it . Dismissing him as a Kook,a charlatan and Nutty, I told him to Take a hike. That same  night will walking to Rena and Shemuel's house, low and Behold I find a small Pamphlet of  the SOS, i picked it up Dusted it off and saw it as a sign from above. I Began Reading it diligently every night for the next 40 nights. Literally The next day i get a call do you want to go out with a  SOSO girl. " Is she Hot"? yup I'm In - I went out with SOS girls a few times and was thinking EE maybe on to something, I even Saw a Horrible emasculating Movie to impress her- (NEVER AGAIN for the record) , Little did I know She gave me the Suggestion of  " Can we just be friends?", and 2 years later were Still friends. The Morale of the Story is...........

Sometimes i feel


  bad , when i see people buying vitamins- the rule of course being It won't necessarily help, but wont hurt either........ Three Days into the Fish Experiment and here are some of my options a couple of 40 something Divorced women with kids One in CT  one in NJ, whom have suggested I take them out , Some Spanish girls that are So-So that i just politely replied to their Emails, and a few that i have avoided, hard to believe ME avoiding girls......A  while ago i was supposed to meet up with a girl i was speaking to, She also got "Sick" at the time we were supposed to go out, i haven't heard from since, till Today "What are you up to tonight " ? See you at 9:30 the odds makers installed me at 11-1..... Friends asked me to hang out Sat night, instead of just saying I'm tired,or not in the mood go out , i lied at said i was babysitting for my nephews, took less than 24 hours for the lie to catch up with me. The Next night my Sister in law called me and asked if I can Babysit........

Friday, May 18, 2012

Fishing again?


        The Dating  Tahyeeda  or quiet period is into it's second week. With confidence and Morale low I decided to retry Plentyoffish,com. With only 2 Photos and  no profile, here are the Stats in Under 24 Hours   111 profile views, 25 would like to meet you's  and three Emails. One would think I am Doing Great, But judging but what most of these girls look like, well never Mind. I have yet to email anyone yet......To Set the Record Straight, I am not a fan of American Idol, although it was clicked Liked in my FB Profile, and a question was answered, This is not Wienergate, where i am claiming someone hijacked my account but   someone is trying to win Tickets to the finals and is not a member of the FB community and clicked the "like" feature.....There is an anti- Internet Rally at Citi Field in Queens, NY this Sunday anyone wishing to attend, Ticket costs are $10, i don't know where and over 40,000 haredeem will be There to protest Internet Porn- No Women are allowed............

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Friends dont let


  Friends Drive drunk. Yes Sometimes the Truth Hurts but it's always necessary. I was Explaining to a girl I know, That I hated Patronage, and she shouldn't feel compelled to tell me things that may sound good to me but aren't necessarily  true. Vertis Venche The Truth Triumph- further more When I see Bad basketball players that think there good, it is not only my duty, But Obligation to tell  Don't drive Drunk...... 38 years to the Ma'alot Massacre, there was a really good documentary made about this last year......I am always besieged by Guilt, A girl running on the treadmill next to me kept waving her arms as if shes blowing away the air, I know I didn't do anything and was pretty sure i didn't smell. non the less I ended my run early cause in my mind a Smell was created, she was pretty cute also......

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mothers Day,

to the Mothers of the world and tomorrow Happy MotherF%#ckers day to all the MotherF%$*#ers of the world. I Lied to my mom and told her I made a donation in her Honor to the Shul Sebbet, the Donation I made But it wasn't in her Honor i did get her a gift card at the end....... I got conflicting advice from Two Different Personalities Both Extraordinarily Wealthy - One says  there is a saying in Hebrew "Found a Wife he found good Didn't find a wife he found even better"- The other Insisted that I put full court press on a girl I have been friendly with, Just based on the fact that he saw us at a place together- "Propose by June. Get Married in July, and he'll throw one of the party's", The first advice sounded a little more sane.....All these years I never realized I had sticky Ears That my earloves connect to my head- another thing to be insecure about....... My Operation Focus,  not to be confused with the Israeli one of 67 kicks in starting tomorrow, Focus on being successful rather than none sense How hard can it be ?........

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Did I Ever Tell you,

   the story about how I bailed out a Girl from a Northern Israel Jail - ? It's been 17 Months Since I mentioned this (12-13-10) But on one of my many trips to the Holy Land, From online I was in contact with a pretty hot girl from the Northern part of the country Haifa. We decided that when i got there We would meet up, Again "Whats the Worst that can Happen". usually when I think that the worst does happen She picked me up from the Train Station in Haifa,unbeknowest to me there was an Aarab Side and Jewish Side, of course I ended up on the Aarab. The Good News is She looked like her photos and was hot, The bad news is Her Car kept Stalling and her 6 or 7 year kid was Screaming in the back, We Went to pick her Mother from her Job, Whom was recovering from Cancer and off to a Slumy Neighborhood in Haifa. She lived in an area where Katyaushas were raining on them from the Lebanon war of 2006 and you can still see the damage. I sat in her parents living room for a couple of hours talking to them about the War. Here I am thinking I'm gonna get Some, and wind up getting a lot more than I ever wanted, just not what I wanted. Her history was sad and grim and she owed creditors a lot of Money, Due to her Ex Husband Degenerative gambling habits, She didn't ask for anything     yet..... A couple days later, She calls me frantically crying Shes in the Big House "What happened"? She needs to come up with xxxx amount of money, There holding her with the Hookers and Drug dealers. I made a joke  about Hookers,  Please can I help her. Never having performed the Mitzvah of Pidyon Shevuim or redeeming the captive and of course not being able to say NO, I was fortunate enough to make this Mitzvah even though i was a total Sucker.............

Friday, May 11, 2012

Whats the Big Deal?


      A Short Recap of my revolution number NiNe Times of Excursions to the Syrian Holy city. The Numbers - $277 in tolls, $206 in gas, Over 1118 driving miles, 168 minutes of waiting time, One case of Arthritis  from the hard to cut chicken, One case of Bad heartburn from a Veggie Burger, 3 New Face book friends, one moderate case of the runs ( but that was my fault i shouldn't have eaten the ice cream) and $684 .37 in Dinner costs. Optimistically Speaking it's as if I Smoked 366 Cigarettes, Times that By 3 minutes of waste of life Totaling 18 and a half Hours of wasted life Not bad at all............... Shimon Peres "We need more Solutions not  resolutions" I don't need to wish him a speedy recovery some how he always manages to get better..............A Reader submits look a like  Palestinian legislature Hanan Ashrawi  that I can't believe Peter Jennings or anyone Used to Bone and Sportscaster Howard Cosell
  

 

Thursday, May 10, 2012

"Wait here,

I'll get the car".. The Eerie feeling of walking to my car in the hard rain, reminded me of the "Towgate" incident, almost identical Scenario sans the location, first date, similar personality, A new Sweater, Deal girl was prettier.  On the short Ride I shared the story with her, and concluded that i was a Scumbag for not going into the cab with the other that time, she laughed at the situation, but clearly was ready to go home. Getting to the Holy city early, i managed to kill sometime playing Akinator and watching documentaries, i got lost to her House as their was no sign Indicating where W. PARK Ave is, I probably shouldn't of said to her "thank g0d i wont be back here again to figure it out"- Subconsciously I guess i knew i wouldn't be coming for date #2 but it was more of a Freudian slip, and plus i don't think she paid attention. Greeted by her two dogs and mother, we went through the introduction, she was attractive and Upbeat  and off for Italian  food  in a place they call pier village. We had lots to say and both agreed that it's always interesting meeting new people, regardless weather things work out or not  i mumbled something under my breath Except. I sounded like I was working for the Israeli Tourism ministry recommending she visit there. We Spoke Set-ups and i assured her that She will never, ever be set up with someone who is not "NICE". As i dropped at the door, We Exchanged get home Safes- and there will not be church on Sunday........ just as teams get eliminated from the playoffs and will be off till next season I will be doing the Same.........

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

"Expect the

 unexpected, i confirmed with new girl in the Holy city, she sounds great, different this time, but as always i am prepared for anything and everything.Win, Lose, or draw their will be a dating taheydea or quiet period, to make some adjustments and improvements......As of Aug, i will be moving  back Up North to the isle of Manhattan, My Apartment will be vacated and I can not afford to pay both Mortgage and Rent, this wont make the blog more interesting..........."Don't call me, ill call you"- well not in those exact words but this is how things are going with RE- the Impossible dream is Still that. RE showed me an apt in Brooklyn, i had a different agenda to be honest, But turns out it was the Apartment of someone i sort of new-  My friends and her friends  Were Enemies- Which made us enemies once again by invoking the law of contra positive  -Everyone was loyal to their Side, with out getting Belligerent, i did get along with her and her husband........

Friday, May 4, 2012

The Holy City again?

       A nice conversation with the New Girl That Munster sister got me her number it went well over the allocated 14 minute time limit, and Guess where I'm headed to yet again Next week.....Egyptian Intel Chief Suleiman was meeting with the Israelis and Assured them that during the Riots of Feb 2011 Everything will be OK - Gen. Asheknazi asked him how can you be certain. In Egypt it doesn't matter who votes What matters is who counts the votes......Kent State 42 years later.... "what if you knew her and found her dead on the ground"? ..... 4 dead in Ohio - CSNY..........


Menachem Begin,

when arriving at Eretz Ysrael Refused to desert the Polish Army, until he got an honourable discharge. Whenever i commit to something and want to Renege, this story  always crosses my mind, so even though i can't say No- i always use the Maybe, I'll try, or the "eim Yirtze hashem" to get out of things..... SU suggested that instead of going out in the Holy city- how does the city sound and she'll stay in the city, First thought great I don't have to drive out there, "nope i wouldn't mind picking you up, and promise ill have enough room for you're luggage"- she mentioned a Sushi Place, i told her i was a regular there she didn't believe me - A small Text confrontation over what time  led her to Text to me "OMG just forget it "- We cleared the air and she said she'll be ready by Seven. I waited  Only 44 Minutes. She still seemed annoyed, although i felt I was the one who should be, But again if I show her that- then the terrorists win. Judging from the First 15 minutes - Neither of us wanted to be there- I even offered to just drop her off by her friends, as she had other events going on - We settled on dinner, and things got smoother. She follows the zodiac and our Signs were a disasetrous match, her friend met up with us a little later and they were both making fun of me cause i don't know how to go out- I did impress them with my Music knowledge as i was telling them who that the  obscure music that the DJ was playing was by Carols the Jackal and the Baader- Meinhoff gang had i used Arab terrorists names they probably would have caught on. Thank g0d for RE anytime the conversation stalled we went to her Seemed like we both enjoyed the subject - Despite the early tension and ambiguity it was a fun night - No Church in the Holy city......................

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Dating Amnesia,

is probably the best therapy for my failure to get RE, and dating Amnesia it is then. After Several Ingenious, Cunning, creative, and sometimes Dumb attempts to get to her,( ill spare the details)just like the 67 Red Sox The Impossible Dream is over . The New girl according to my contact was of sound body and mind, when she agreed to give me her number, ( fb can make or break it) Their are several Buts, but will give it a go......After thinking I would never hear from SU girl- she Texted me "Hey"- We had a nice conversation, in which basically I told her I thought She was allergic to me, in which she replied she doesn't play games and would tell me that if she wasn't back to the holy city Thursday that is for now........Munster Sister who got me the other girls Number, Said it's still OK to call the New Girl, I really hate double dipping especially with girls from the same town.......Judging by the way the girls that he's trying to set me up with look, I'm Not certain if my landlord likes me or hates me..........

Sunday, April 29, 2012

"Mr Super, Superman",

How do i Address you Sir? Meir that's all . That of course being Ex Mossad Chief Meir Dagan Who is responsible for numerous operations, and putting the fear of G0d into the Enemies of the Jewish State. I handed a business Card it was RE real estate Business card and told him to call her- He Looked at the photo on the card, and excitedly  said She's Beautiful is she you're girlfriend? I told him I wish- he Smiled took her card, i asked him if he can sign one also- Both TD bank pens I had weren't writing Luckily for me  Malcolm " who made an unauthorized trip to Damascus with a bunch of Syrian creeps to reap praise on the Assad's" Hoenlin handed him a pen - he wrote a short message smiled and wished me luck. I Spared asking him about that trip over the nice gesture. I gave out RE's card to Ambassador Prosor and a few others. Ask me Why? No Clue.......  I sat in the Second row Behind the main dignitaries and happily shared in the chorus of boos that Former PM Ehud Olmert Received. He got irritated as someone from the back Shouted "Neville"   a clear reference to his Appeasement and ass kissing policies he Spewed a bunch of Nonsense and tried Belittling Enviorment Minister Gilad Erdan from the Likud as petty and Young, Erdan un intimidated gave it back to him. Dershowitz chided the crowd for Booeing OBAMA. At lunch I said with an early 40's single woman, not bad though I think I may have been able to hook up with her, But ditched her to speak to the politicians. The Conference was Fun but way to long, No more Zionist Jury Duty for me...................

Friday, April 27, 2012

Zionist Jury duty,

 a while back i not only signed up but also paid money to attend  The Jerusalem Post " Zionism Conference. In a Spurt of a moment thing i just did, A couple weeks later i learned that Mr Ehud Olmert an Adversary of the Jewish People would be a speaker and Panelist, It was to late to cancel. Now I  am out $499.99 and going to an all day Zionist conference at the Marriott Hotel. Some Notables attending Meir Dagan, Gilad Erdan, Gabi Ashkenazi, Danny Danon Etc.... SU text me "how about Sunday" - can't miss Zionist Jury Duty........I gave the OK for the new girl, pending of course if she's of sound body and mind and agrees. My mind has been occupied, It's not realistic but As Hertzel and EE Say " If you will it then  it's no Fantasy". My will needs to get a lot bigger for it to happen.........

Her Turn,


       As customary i text SU to "Confirm" for tonight. A couple hours later, i get the call, " you don't sound to well"- the Allergies have struck again, don't worry  "i totally understand things happen ( a lot), it's cool just feel better" - I made a generic offer for FDA drugs, and told her. if she'd like to reschedule call me. She said she'll go  for coffee or Tea at a place called the Inkwell. The Alkoa Presents You make the call - Do I drive out an hour out of my way to meet up with a girl, who will probably be at 10% at best, no chance for action, slim chance for future, discussing allergies, But at least wont be eating Sushi Or just go Home. " We will Reschedule Then     i guess "- not sure what the blank space in her text meant, but onwards, a Friend's  Sister is trying to get me to go out with someone from her area that she may know I didn't say OK yet, as the Double Dipping is too close to home and they may know each other.........

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

My Turn ,

to Rain Check with SU .  I was supposed to once again Trek out to the Holy City, but Jury duty Thwarted those plans. She was as understanding to that as i was to "allergygate" . After a short conversation, we Scheduled for Thursday- Time TBA- +30 minutes.........I spoke to BB, maybe i am weird, but it felt like i was Interviewing her, i would make a statement or ask a question and would get a lengthy answer, which i would interject with a comment here and there we spoke for about an hour, tentatively scheduling to meet up again...... Correction i mistakenly called the "Meat Packing " area " Meat Packaging", thanks to RE for clarification........Happy 64th to the Residents and those who have Served the Zionist state.........

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Democracy in Action...


  After Several years of dodging Jury Duty The Great Democratic process caught up with me- For those who have NOT participated here is play by play for those who have you can just Skip this Entry......

 1. Pass by metal detector and proceed to a large room by 8:30 AM

 2. You fill out an additional card they give you and Watch a Short Movie on how important is to perform you're civic duty I'm Sure Diane Sawyer and the late Ed Bradley did it many times 9:00

 3. An orientation on what to fill out, how to fill out what you can or can not do is given for about an hour ( please note you may not Tweet or FB Status anything related to Jury Duty) supposedly they have an App that tracks you - I quickly deleted my "to hell with democracy" Status

4. Around 1045 they began calling out names and assigning them to different Rooms - I didn't get called until 11:33

5. Twelve of us were in the Room where we fill out a questionnaire about ourselves - But only 8 out of the 12 were asked prospective questions to be on a trial of a Spanish woman who fell in a Korean Supermarket - the breakdown  2 African American woman 2 white women  1 old Chinese guy 1 African American 1 Gringo 3 Haseedems, and a Syrian Kid - Me and The Hasedeems were not questioned

6. It Ended 12:37 We broke for Lunch early from 12:49 -2:00

7. The Selection starts again and  at 2:48 20 of us were called for a Different Trial  - It was a lot of the same crowd - This Time I was called to answer questions one of the Ten. The Lawyer Went on and on, and unfrontuatly for him 4 of the 10 Spoke little to No English so it became an Issue The case a Jewish  woman was in a car accident and was Suing another woman for Damages for Injuries both Mentaly and physically - I Quoted Howard Stern with John Sarnau not believeing there is any pyscholigical injuries and was dismissed the lawyer was a fan and complimented me on my hobbies that I put in the Questionaire( Watching paint dry, Staring at walls coming to Jury Duty and ping pong)

8. Back to the Main hall at 4:02, We were dismissed at 4:33 as there were no more cases to be called youre name gets called, You hand it one of your'e papers and get back a certificate and told to come back in 8 years

    A Special Tip to get out of Jury Duty- Become a Non Citizen  Single Parent Convicted Felon who can hardly communicate in English.........

Monday, April 23, 2012

Zionist Independence


  is no Stranger to controversy to the Local Syrian Community - With out any clear cut Halachic Decree As to what prayers should be added or omitted The Debate rages on. The consensus agreement is not to  say Tachanunin With exception to the Ateret and other Black Hat Factions- But Do you Recite the Hallel? The Argument against is that prayers are NOT to be tampered with and no one in modern times can make an halachic ruling to add prayers to what has been established. Why not make a special prayers for the Miracle of the 6 day war and Yom Yerushalyim, or other Spectacular Israeli Operations ( Opera or Thunderbolt)- and further more Independence day was set up by seculars and anti- religious zealots- Religious Zionists claim that the Declaration of the State is the Rebirh of a nation exiled after 2000 years fulfilling the prophecy of  Shaviem Tziona, and the miracle needs to be properly acknowledged in the prayer books. As Someone not very Religious it Doesn't really matter to me whats said or not- But I tend to Believe that Prayers should be left to those original Scholars that composed them. With that will see if a repeat of last years controversy occurs............

Buzzed....



     i am probably one of the least coolest people i know, After helping "RE" girl with moving a little, we decided actually more her than me to hit the town ( this is how i know I'm uncool by using that term). By The time we got out it was Kukuc time ( Kukuc is a Russian clubber who always told me it was too early to get girls until 3:00 am). RE is a nighttime aficionado, Incredibly   She knew where, what, who, the crowds, the food, the drinks etc... IT was like me mouthing off where every NBA player from the mid 80s and 90s went to college. Unfortunately every thing was closed, but you can always count on the meat packaging district. We settled at some hotel bar and were sharing a drink they call "loneliness"- and some McDonald's style fries. I  got buzzed after couple drinks, but wasn't belligerent, except for swearing probably a little to much i don't remember doing anything stupid, it was my first time getting buzzed since Sept 07 in Israel i also go robbed or to be fair missing Money. RE was good to drive, though she was scary a little with or with out the sauce- she looked amazing and couldn't have been more fun............

Your'e browser

 is no longer supplied by Blogger some parts of the blog will not work and you may experience problems.  i obviously had problems, thanks to DM  it's sort of solved...........Su girl text me Friday- she doesn't mean to bother me, but she lost some lip gloss stuff, can I look for it" - I'll get right on top of it, even if i have to call in the 661 Search and rescue, the Search came up Empty. women's studies specialist EE Thinks it was just an excuse for her to text me, i vehemently disagree. We scheduled for Tuesday night BUT - all the jury duty notices i used to chuck away finally caught up with me and I have go Tuesday - i told her if she has other plans i don't want to hold her up, i guess Ill find out today........ "in the Shadows of the Gallows 21.04.47", Fienstien and Barazani one heart, one people, a heroic Zionist tale........BB text me wishing a good weekend, after some back and forth we maybe getting together sometime this week as well, depending on my Jury duty.....

The Holy city ?

I left late, that is late for me, to Syrian Jewry second holiest city, I still wind up getting there over 30 minutes early for our Scheduled 7:30 date. A Text comes through is "is 8-8:15 OK? if not i understand"- It's a good thing there are no expression icons on texts i replied Sure Ill hang out with the Akinator no problem. She replied I'll try to Hurry- take as much time as you need- I didn't really care at this point. Not all familiar with the Holy city, i made several trips to the local 7-11. Sitting in front of her house for about 10 minutes  i was fortunate to meet the parents, who couldn't have been nicer, i was going to ask them to use the restroom But felt awkward . Su came outside, i put her valise in the car, Only 45 minutes late this time, Unsure of her Mood I asked if she wanted to go back to Brooklyn - she answered the question with the same question -  we cleared it up and headed for Sushi in Red Bank, NJ. Thanks to the "NOSH"* i ate at 7-11 I didn't mind Sushi, cause I wasn't really hungry. Past relationships, Mutual friends, and Future was  at the forefront of the the conversation, and she did have a lot of interesting stories to share. Three things I probably would never learn, how to make my bed, how to make a Tie, and chopsticks, I struggled mightily ( she tried to help) with them and was granted a pass to eat with my hands.  Conversation continued to flow on the long ride home, mostly fun, A great tip she gave me - Put Jelly Rings in the Freezer. " Be In Touch "- Church on Sunday.........

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Air Line Flights,

during bad weather, suggest you keep checking up on the Status of you're flight for either delay or cancellation. After two Flight Cancellations  SU girl and I Are set for Tonight, I confirmed last night Some 24 hours before and again During the Day - "Yeps" - Great see u 730.  Since I'm on her Home Turf, with no clue where I'm going  and also  beat the crap out of my navigation system, She's going to make the plans.......I have generally done a good job avoiding the Rabbi from Chabad, But he's a lot more clever and  smarter than me. In addition to the donation, he got me the # of a Russian Girl whom by his own admissions is "Hot",( he could be lying ) he shaved a few years off my age, added a couple extra 0s to my bank account and were in Business- "White Lies"........

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Allergy Season,

is pretty Brutal, Especially when the girl I was supposed to go out in all likely hood is Allergic to Me. Through out the short conversation, with innuendos and Hints  it appears that she was trying to get me to cancel and I wanted her to be the do it . The Dating Diplomacy yielded no results, until  She got back to me and suggested maybe Thursday? " Sure and if not another time"( another time in dating lingo= Never ) we have till next passover until the statue of limitations on Second Dates runs out........ Sometimes I forget how Omnipotent G0d is, i forgot and got punished - I mentioned to a friend that this girl we both knew had a bad case of nippleideyis- On the treadmill Suddenly out of nowhere i got a severe case of nippleideys i blamed on my cheap Pakistani T- shirt but I already know the reason.....I had a Power meeting with some Business Executive channeling our creative minds in search of ways to make Money, Nothing stuck yet, but we were in agreement to meet again.  With their consent only i can post some of the Ideas............

Monday, April 16, 2012

"Ill Let you Know",

 Haha I already Knew that the trip to city of Atlantic was not happening, A Rule when Someone tells you "Ill let you know", just as in "Maybe", "Blie neder" or "I'll try", is  just a nice way of Saying No. We are Rescheduled for Tuesday Em Yirtze Hashem........Correction I am on the grobocks side and not on the non Grobocks as posted in last entry........ It Bothered me a little  watching a really Hot girl on CNN - Discussing her Blog about depression and Sanjay Gupta Eating it up- I can't Imagine what the hell can she possibly be depressed about, "I Should be Depressed", which I am not, but watching Jerry Springer over the holiday I did feel a lot better about myself.......Chaverim is a Excellent organization, I was supposed to open the door By the "Chilonim" relatives of mine Sunday, But was locked out , With- in 10 Minutes  Chaveriem came and opened the door......It's Weird when someone much Older Than You See's you and playfully Slaps you and tells people " He  knew you when you were in Diapers" the Wheel is always in Spin and Now I can reply  "Now I know you when you are in Diapers" , I would Never.........

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Biblical weekend

 Just like Yona, who sat himself under the kikayaon, waiting excitedly for Ninveh to be destroyed I got to shul  about 10 minutes early to watch watch the  Rabbi's "UVA Letzion" explosion. I sat up close and anxiously awaited the " heeee or nuuuuu" much to my disappointment, I didn't know that the "uva Letzion" act of 1999 was repealed and the singing went on with out any commotion or controversy........ The Rubin's graciously invited me for their 2nd half  Passover feast, after the first night - the Rubin's requested my presence and invited me for the second night as well of course invoking How queen Esther invited Haman to her feast twice. Besides the food, the highlight was a minor skirmish and the argument Gobrocks V's Non Gobrocks, I think I'm on the non team..... Friendly reminder to the Holes getting their talits in shul, Please Get You're talit and Go- You don't need to make the blessing in front of the rest of the Talitot and Block peoples way- i may donate a sign that reads that......One last note on Shul Thursday night I felt the Inside of my Jacket to reveal a small stash of cash ( it was 20s), of course I did what any Good Jew would do..............

Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Greatest Two Minutes,

 in Sports? What is the Kentucky Derby - The greatest 5 seconds for me in Judaism is  in  Shul watching the Rabbi " Hacham Hillel"  get Irritated at People attempting to sing Uva L'Tzion on non sabbath Day Holidays- Something to Look forward to the Second half of Passover....... I have a Great idea, I can't reveal the nature of this Idea yet, But it's something for a TV network, This can be bigger than Big......... On the subject of Ideas, EE Radical Idea will probably come to fruition the city of Atlantic Sunday with  SU girl - She likes gambling and "Sunday Seems OK"...... The "Big Show", Dinner at  Rubins with my uncle, and possibly my Ex Aunt  always manages to Excite, A special thank you for the invitation.........

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Nothing Beats

 
getting a Phone call from a girl Fifteen Minutes before picking her up, telling you She lost track of time and is running Twenty Minutes late, I was relieved that she wasn't "Crazy Busy".  Thanks to the App. The akinator, that my nieces told me about I didn't really mind that she was 42 minutes. The Akinator is great some notable clues it got  Eric the Midget, Bababooey, Joey Buttafuco and some porn stars, I stumped him on Shaul Mofaz, and Chaim Arlozoroff.  I picked her up Downtown, and the fact that she was late made me a lot looser, and care free. She looked like her photo and  Things were interesting almost instantly, We discussed the Statue of limitations of someone being a Boat - and it was determined that you can never really get rid of the tag, There was a small line waiting to be seated and she was being smothered, i told her it was customary for Israelis and J-Dubbs to inch up, But do what the Syrians do Just cut the line, It wasn't long enough. I mentioned something about the Hasidic Sect, She thought i was Talking about Hasdic Sex, I blamed it on being ESL. Things went a lot smoother after that, and she was open and "Herself", This was her Second Blind date, I am Pretty sure it went a lot better than her First....... Even Money for Church on Sunday.........

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

"Radical Idea",

of taking Setup Girl to Atlantic City suggested to me by EE, in all likely hood will not come to Fruition, I left her a message yesterday She called me back while I was Busy Bowling a 186 with BB girl whom i covered the Spread in all Three games we played, I Called her back but haven't heard from her yet, In Her words " No Worries".......... Hypothetical- Someone Picks up Say 100 Dimes, Counts it up and counts an extra 2 Dimes- Does he say Something?..........

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Persian Style,

    dating for this week Not my Concept but should you take out any girls this week no dinner is required. I am still up in air with the Set Up but supposedly Tuesday is good, I have 0.0 Plans Except for my Radical idea. BBGirl and  I may get together also, I'm Guessing it's either the let's be friends, let's Move on, let's Get it on ( not that way ) Conversation..........Does  Rabbenu Tam, have a Nephew That decides to finish even after he did. The Shul In LI that I prayed at as described by my Brother is To Hot, Finishes to late, and to Radical.  The newly Baal Tshuvas are perhaps Judaism's most radical sect, They Take everything Way to literally and leave no room for interpretation. prayers took over Three hours in the morning and the night they didn't start Until after the Holiday ended...........I bribed my nieces and Nephews not to ask questions at the Seder, They wer not  very compliant........

Thursday, April 5, 2012

My Dog ate,

my Homework, is the equivalent for saying I received you're cellphone message 3 days late, Both can happen both unlikely but in this case the latter was True.....For the Second time in two dates with BB girl the restaurant Screwed up the reservation, We went through the usual Talk  basketball, Politics Friends, Beit hillel, beit Shamie, Philosophy and eavesdropping, Which we were both guilty of, and getting along well until she mentioned Coach K.  The Road to getting Feedback is way to bumpy, I'll just call her and wait if I dont hear from her by Monday night means no church .........4/4 44 years ago  Shots Ring out of the Memphis Sky the assassination of MLK-  Jesse "Hymie Town" Jackson fabricated his story that held King as he was dying.......Random Set up a friend of mine though a friend of hers  is setting me up with a girl that her friend knows but she doesn't- We spoke briefly, and may meet up next week- I have a radical idea for where to take her.......

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Passover Notes:

Some things to Ponder Before Celebrating the Holiday of Freedom:

  1. Poor Mans Bread Cost a $#it load of Money
  2. Elijah The Prophet Comes in through the Front door and not the Chimney He does NOT bring presents
  3. In The Haggadah BEN ZOMA is a Scholar and not a Son of a Bitch
  4. Everyone is aware the Romanian Lettuce has been Checked for Bugs, You do NOT need to announce, when flying does the Pilot insist on Telling you That every Valise has been Checked for Bombs
  5. Macaroons Are Essential to Have weather you eat them or Not, It's our Modern Day version of the Hillel Sandwich
 6. Double Dipping is not only Allowed But Encouraged, This may or may not be applicable with you're local Massage Parlor
 7. Customary to Not Lace one's Shoes to Symbolize the Shackles our forefathers were chained to in Egypt
 8. The Jewish version of the NCAAs start on the second Night, Known as " The Omer"-  The rules Single elimination, if you miss it you're out- You may still play at home..........
9. For the Married:- Yeast is Hametz
10. For the Single:- If you ask out a girl and she tells you, she has a lot of weddings and party's to attend, Means shes washing her hair Take a Hike.................

Monday, April 2, 2012

Worst NCAA,

 Tournament in recent memory.......  A girl Skips over a bunch of treadmills to take the one near me according to EE, She's making "Eye Contact". She looked very familiar and i think i may have gone out with her a while ago-  According to Dennis Green I wasn't sure if she was who I thought she was, So I didn't use the old gym conversation  lines that EE gave me........After texting for a short while  I met up with a girl from online- First the Good news- Probably the best Cleavage Ever Now for the bad news Probably the best cleavage ever, It ended mercifully after 37 Minutes which includes me dropping her off 20 blocks away at her  brother's  she was helping him after he a small fire ( it was real she showed me photos)..... Weird   I got a voicemail from BB girl Monday Night wishing me a Shabbat Shalom and saying sure she'd like to go out again, She's free next week, It didn't register that she left the VM on Friday but it didn't show in my phone till tonight, and no missed call, Ill call her tomorrow..............

Sunday, April 1, 2012

I may as,

 well be dating the City of NY, Thanks to the Love letter from The DMV extorting another $300 for that Speeding Ticket I got, My fines to the city this month are Over $600- and  Just like My dates my return Zero.Zero......It's been about a year since I prayed at the Ave J area Still No Progress Regarding the Halabi or Shami Situation, I am waiting for the first Boat to cross the line..It was funny to see an Exodus of people  Just walk out of the Shul during the "Ketirot" there like leaving a game early with out shaking hands.....No Call back from BB girl No Worries..... A Law for Passover - One doesn't not lace up his Shoes or Sneakers to Represent the Shackles that our ancestors broke out of leaving Egypt......10 Years to "Chomat Magen" or Defensive Shield, The Israeli Operation to root out Terror after a Suicide Bomber Killed over 30 people at the Park Hotel in Netanya......

Friday, March 30, 2012

" As of Now,

  I am in Control HERE,....... 31 Years to the Assassination attempt on President Reagen- the shooter John Hinckley thought he'd impress Jodie Foster, A$$hole she's a lesbian,  he should have gotten the death penalty   .........DM Send me an article on the 90th Birthday celebration of Rabbi Hecht, which was attended by some religious figures of the Israeli Government, causing some controversy. The Rabbi of course was relived of his duties for his inflammatory and incendiary remarks, roughly one week before the Rabin Assassination, I posted the 2 minute interview on my FB Page. You can decide for yourself........Sitting with a friend at a local Restaurant, We started Yentering it up with two harediey  Married sisters originally From Brazil but now Living in Borough Park, I didn't get to ask all the questions I had, but we were able to chat freely, Here is their  story They were married with-in  6 Weeks of meeting,  Their pretty modern They watch Tv and Internet, I didn't get to discussing content But not really in the open. They were adamently aganist The "Devora Feldman or Peal Reich Stories", and also against the religious woman who resort to turning tricks to feed their kids. "Shkieyas Hachama" was also discussed, and that they were allowed to do Everything, during the two weeks when they are pure- Hey Look Out..... to be honest I found them somewhat attractive.......Aipac Girl situation kind of disintegrated, My agent said She can also text you if shes interested, I didn't feel it from her end, at least she wont feel bad.....To My loyal  Readers, I will be sharing a good amount of money with - should I hit the Mega Millions.............

Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Walk of Shame,

 
   Well Not exactly the walk of shame but I tried avoiding make that  long walk to BB Girls Door, By texting her I am running two minutes late, Figuring she'll say ill be right out, I got the "DW NP" ... IT is a little uncomfortable, especially when you speak to someone for no more than Seven Minutes. I made it though- Conversation flowed, it was primarily Basketball, with a mix of politics, Photography ( even i can look good with photo shop), FB, and the center. The Restaurant pushed our reservation off for half hour, We went elsewhere the Hostess recognized and gave me a look, she saw me there with another girl last week. The Night Ended with the Usual Get Home Safe, and Church on Sunday Questionable at best.........Should Maccabee Tel Aviv Advance to the Eureo league FInal Four Next month, there is a good chance That I will go to the Peoples Islamic Republic of Turkiye for the games........

Monday, March 26, 2012

My Week,

   got off to a good start first An Email  From a " lovely" young lady (37) She writes "Black History is only obscure because of ignorant people like you. Save your racism for another site". Of course she's alluding to my profile (which was posted here) I am not upset at the allegation which of course is preposterous, I am upset at the fact that this  self righteous activist happens to be thoroughly unattractive. I was thinking of emailing her  with the "i have a lot of Black Friends and phone contacts argument",  but  decided that if i reply to her then the Terrorists win......In my Evening prayers Sunday night during the " Shema Kolenu" segment  I prayed  and G0d Listened  Another "lovely" young lady  whom i was scheduled to meet up with in the great borough of  Queens Sunday night texted me she's very sick, of course i didn't pray for her to be sick, only to cancel. One more to go I'll be sure to go to Shul Wednesday.....  In Accordance to "Mooseri" Economic Principles  it is OK to Play The Lotto, but only when the Jackpot exceeds a certain amount. The Theory was concocted by Poker Whiz Abe Mooseri,( ill post at another time ) regardless i am feeling Lucky...........

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Why can't,

    Aipac girl ever call or text me first? I don't think she will but will wait until Tuesday to confirm that answer for sure.....For the Second Year in a row, One of the regional Finals overlapped into shul time. Last year, i missed shul to watch the end of the game and true to form G0d Punished me by making me go on a running treadmill and almost killing myself- No Such luck this time- Florida decided to Choke in Regulation This year instead of OT So i was only a couple minutes late......When are you considered on line at the bank? once you enter the Bank or once you are ready with you're transaction?  At TD Bank, A Middle aged Woman plops her bag on line and goes to fill out her deposit, I was there before her and was filling out my deposit Except i lost 3 spots on line and she gained Five. Shortly after  A woman with a baby came in,asked the first person on line only, if she can cut her, Of course Mrs Nice said yes but stayed in her same spot, where she should have gone all the way to the end of the line..Due to all the Infractions I have been receiving from the City I am Boycotting saying hello or have a nice day to any of the cops "Guarding" the bank.............

Friday, March 23, 2012

My Sister in law,

        also Scared the Badjesus out of me  so I Called Basketball Girl and told her I didn't want to interfere with karma, turns out her team lost anyways- Beyond me asking weather she prefers man or zone and  some vocational questions we should be getting together Wed night.....Last chance with Aipac Girl on the Menu an Indian Restaurant ( Kosher I promised Voodo Lady) I hope ill be OK I haven't made #2 yet today, and Probably Play Bowling....... Everything went Smooth With the Indian food, No Accidents, Just a little Gas which i got out of the way when i walked around the car, We skipped The bowling, She wasn't really up for it, though she did bring socks. Our conversation is Genetic , but fun , She's Seems Super guarded and The night usually ends with "Thanks I had a nice time" - and runs inside her building. She said she feels bad dumping people, which i can relate- but gave her an out, when asked if she'd like to go out again. she said sure .......A reader asks - If there were no Israel- What would Stop the Assad (Father) from Massacring the Jews of Syria? A leftists would answer the reason they were persecuted was because there is an Israel- I forgot the "History" of How Jews and Arabs Lived in Harmony,Thank G0d for Israel, the Bastard knew better......

Thursday, March 22, 2012

The demographics

 of women emailing me as stated before is between the ages of 39- 52. A 39 year old woman Emailed me asking me to text her, pretty photos, a little tough profile, i did mention pretty photos - Here is what I texted her "very perverts photos btw, where in bklyn are u " took me 2 hours to realize I profusely apologized apparently the IPhone finished that word for me. She asked if i wanted to meet up, for a second time in my dating history I was late, in this instance Better Never than late would have been better. I waited outside for her and once she came out She and her mother were yelling at each other, it was foggy and dark and it was hard to tell who was who ( think Fran Dreschers voice with a accentuated Ashkenaz Accent, could have been worse with a syrian one and with a broom shoved up her)... We went somewhere local, she looked ok but her photos were much more better, Her voice was another story and she couldn't believe she was ordering VEGGGEEEZZ  at a David's style Restaurant. I loved her story about an Ex o taking her to a swingers club (48 Canal street if anyone cares), I passed on going in to see her cat and possibly her mother......Ohh and too answer her question No I do not take Bipolar medication........

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Relative Voodoo?

 Out of the blue, a relative of mine called, Asking me for my full given name in Hebrew- There is this woman who can pray for you and figure out whats up, and has proven to work miracles hmmmm- of course it is customary to give her something for her service, Me being a  Suc ooops, a Believer obliged. The Relative calls me again, The Woman really needs to speak to you, she wants to keep things private and wants to speak to you direct ( little did she know about this blog and its 4 readers)  but To be honest,  She scared the Bajesus out of me, Am I going to die or something like that. I called her right away, In her trembling Voice that mimics airplane Turbulence She tells me, that she can tell I am a good person. ( but no letter of recommendation from her) She asked me weather I observe Shabbat and Kosher, of which I said not the way I am supposed to, hence the problem. Here I was thinking about going through some crazy rituals like bathing in Tomato paste and Epsom salt, and all i have to do is observe Shabbat and kosher properly and Problem is solved, But Holy Crap it's the Regionals and Final Four,The Kosher part not a problem, Shabbat can it wait a couple weeks? She Replied do little by little and follow up with me in a few weeks. She  Envisioned me with a really pretty girl, No dimensions specified , I asked for her eye sight Number, she didn't hear the question or maybe she did. This probably confirms my Ticket to hell...............

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

When a Dog,

  
       makes Doody and no one cleans it up, Whose at fault the dog or the owner? When a School Bus Is waiting over 4 Minutes and blocking the street Whose at Fault the Parents or the Kid? I Know. I know  what You all are going to say "Well you don't have kids, so you don't know" -  under no circumstances have i ever Honked at a waiting school bus, but maybe used a  little foreign language profanity aimed at the parents..... My Rationale for Emailing  really hot 23 year old girl if a lot of older woman can Email me, Why can't I email her ? I basically told her how hot She was in a few different ways- Plus that we have a lot in common - Were Both attractive, Outgoing, Love Shopping  and sociable - But, I'm one up on her on Wars in the Gulf. I think their is better chance that the Moshiach will come....I  did get in touch with Aipac Girl again- I felt the enthusasim in the texts ( alot of .....), non the less will go out, I think Will go Play Bowling..........

Monday, March 19, 2012

Here's too You,

 Mrs Robinson - not exactly but the last seven woman that contacted me on line have been 52, 46, 42, 40, 39, 37 and 34 with Three kids. The Question is this Are they messaging me cause they are desperate, and it would be the equivalent of messaging a really fat and disgusting looking girl or are they genuinely interested, some of them are not bad by the way.......I stared down the devil, didn't flinch, looked  it in the eye and walked  away- of course i am referring to the enormously fattining  cake in front of me - a temporary moment of triumph in my never ending battle against Food, After the 6000 big ones hair surgery failure, i can not afford to both be fat and bald - I'm cracking down on food very much like Assad on the insurgents......I  do not hold much hope for the French to bring the perpetrator's of the Ozar Hatorah Massacre to Justice after all this is the same people that watched for several days as Ilan Halimi  was being tortured and did NOTHING, and with exception to the Pilot and crew, let's not forget the way they handled the  Hijacking at Entebbe".......

Friday, March 16, 2012

A good Friend of mine

   always insisted that where ever he was, either in the shul, wedding, Assembly etc, that pretty girls were  always making eye contact specifically with him, for arguments sake will give him the benefit of the doubt. Recently on line a holy $H%#it, Maroneami beautiful  looking hot 23 year old girl  viewed my profile 7 times over  the past couple weeks ( not that I'm counting) "What does it tell you"? Me-  Either she needs a green card, or she probably has a glitch in her computer and accidentally clicks my profile or her mom hijacked her account and likes me. A Women studies specialist after seeing her photos advised me to "Email her NOW" what do I  have to lose? hmmmm for starters in some parts of the world i can be her father,  But "Maybe she wants the Salami"? hmmm something too think about but that's never ever happened to me before except one time. Let's rationalize suppose we were dogs we would only be separated by 2 years or how about a football game It will only be a two touchdowns spread not too bad especially in an  LSU vs Norflok St game.  Should i Email her I'll clearly go  for the Jugular..........
 

When do I text back?.......

  I Texted Aipac Girl, Didn't hear back from her till the next day- she forgot her phone in the office, Sounds familiar,  I texted her back upon reciet, I haven't heard anything......Unlike last year when someone left there post to get Falafel or something and Runners went off course, This Year's Jerusalem Marathon ended with out any fanfare.......My Online subscription ends in five days, The usual Girls that i was interested in weren't and vice verse. I still entertain all Emails i get though..... Wichita is stuck 3 Points to VCU 18 seconds left, They cross mid court call time out with 12 seconds, I am pretty sure that they didn't design a play for their Seven footer to shoot a double clutch Three with 2 seconds left......

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

"The Window of

 Opportunity is closing", HUH do I look like the Iranian Nuclear Facilities that need to be taken out? " No  you assume ,you need to give things a chance, you give up on things too easily  "Assumptions are the termites of relationships." ( she quoted the fonz), with that advice I will call Aipac girl again........ An unwritten sports rule, That you don't mess with Karma was the reason i gave my sister in law for not calling the girl she got me her Number- Her team as a big underdog made the championship- I'll wait till after the championships as not to "Jinx" anything..........It's been 15 years to the "island of peace" Massacre  a Heroic Jordain Soldier Killed 7 Jewish School girls, wounded several others, His only regret his weapon Jammed, he is heralded in the Arab world as a Hero....... I can't imagine anyone being stupid enough to pay $499 to attend a Jerusalem post confernece with one of their headliners being Ehud Olmert........

Monday, March 12, 2012

So-So...........

    accentuating  more on  the second So, is how things went with Aipac girl- Nothing bad or stupid happened and the conversation was fun, but probably not as fun in a noisy setting. I got the polite vibe from her, and there wasn't the same enthusiasm, I still had a nice time  but..... she reluctantly agreed to go out again when she gets back mid next week sometime, but my feeling is that things have fizzled out sometime around 1000 pm last night, No Church.......Deja Vu from last march - The Warning Sirens,
 give about a minute to get to a safe place- " We stay close to home, pretty much our lives our Hijacked"- This is daily life for the citizens of Southern Israel the past few days, As indiscriminate rockets rain on them. I heard from someone who got caught on the can, I didn't ask what he did..................

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Really Cold to

   Really Hot, That's how I would describe dating. After a cold spell, There are a few new situations that have a risen with in the last couple days- How to respond to them?  The House of Hillel Says Concentrate on one girl(especially the one you're going out with tonight) and don't call the other girls, The House of Shami you need options and you need to keep them open. If you wait to see how things work out, you'll lose the other bitches...... Stat of the day: In a 15 point game at the Scc  the ratio of  "I got it's" ( ill never know who used that phrase first) That's Syrian code for fouls to actual basket is 2.6- 1.0......I litter sometimes as a means of payback for all the tickets NYC gives me, but on the treadmill next to me an older woman chucks a plastic cup that was in her cup holder on the floor, next to me- I picked it up-  "Was it yours why did you put it there?" - She got my usual apology ( the cup wasn't mine).......34 years to Coastal Rd.massacre, Remembering the Fogel Family 03/14.........

Friday, March 9, 2012

Early is on time,

  On time is late, late is unacceptable. For as I long as i can remember I showed up late for a date, (The Weird thing is I always show up late to shul) I could have been on time, but got stuck in Traffic and decided to look for parking rather than use the lot. I met her at 8:03, three minutes is Three minutes and apologized for causing her any hurt, harm, or injustice for being late, and wished her a  Happy Womens Intl Day as well. I was impressed  not only the fact she was early, looked good, dressed and smelled nicely, went to Aipac, but that she was a figure skater, and spouted all i know about the sport ( she can't do a triple Axell but  She was definite on Nancy Kerrigan Side). The Lounge we met up in was noisy, and we kept waiting to get thrown out of the reserved area, it eventually happened but after couple hours. My agent let me know I must have "done something right"- Even a broken clock is right two times a day Church on Sunday will be on Sunday Definite..........

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Too Good to be True,

is sometimes too good to be true, I got a number to a girl that sounded terrific, great voice, Loves politics,  Israel,( she went to Aipac) sports, was interesting Sweet etc... I told the Sephlink I didn't need a picture, after our conversation which went well, I had to see her picture she sounded too good, Will meet up Thursday night JJN Style Ill Fake my way around the drinks.......On the treadmill at the center, I didn't know how to change the Tv Channel, I would Highly recommend the best of the Bachelor show, where all the girls get together to be interviewed it was great especially with out the volume......#52 called me She sounded a little weird and used her Screename to say who it was, I didn't pick up- I don't really want to call her back.....By the Kevin Bacon  6 Degree of Separation I got a number to a new girl, This is a little complicated but here goes My Sister in laws Friends - Friend- Whose daughter plays on the basketball team she coaches - Something like that- Should be a fun call to make....... From JD and DM I haven't watched it yet http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

"Are You Insane?"

   I gave the Sephlink agent access to my Jdate profile- apparently she didn't think it was all that funny
The good news about this profile is I look like my photos the bad news about this profile is i look like my photos- I wanted to convert to Islam but Allah wouldnt advance me a few virgins so i figured i'd stay Jewish -The only thing that can make this profile intresting is if i told you i am a bazillionare, I am very loyal even to the extent of promising to share any lotto winnings with all my fb freinds- I like to celebrate obscure Holidays such as Black History Month, Menachem Begin's Birthday, and Moses Birthday which is coming up soon - i am in the punctual Peoples hall of fame and the spelling and Grammer Hall of shame ( i am ESL- but a citizen so dont worry). I step in doody way more times than the Average person, an expert at making wish sandwiches, and pronounce silent letters to be inclusive( unscented try it ) To all the lovely woman overseas, I do apperciatte you're kind words, but unfortunatly am not available to send you cash, green cards, prizes, or parting gifts...... I listed the Koran as my favorite book also........ I have gotten a couple of   Emails- An interesting one from a 52 year old woman, I gave her my number,No idea why but she looks good in her photo...... Another was funny  a  rather healthy Twenty something year old girl  Messaged me,  I asked What are you looking for in a guy? " I am very Picky" - financially stable, won't look at other girls, Loyal, caring, treat me like a queen, Educated, good looking - "is that too much to ask for"? I didn't bother to ask if 2 out of those would work, But Kudos to her on her confidence.......