The last time

 i frivolously spent $200 on something well never mind. Everything about the League I paid $200 to play in, is horrible, The Rules, the Officials, The players,The game and a sewage issue that makes the gym smell like A$$. With our best player resting on the bench with 10+ minutes and were up 18 Instead of running some clock, we decided to "have fun" by bombing away way behind the line, trying circus shots and criminally not getting back on Defense. Thankfully the other team was "having fun" also and only cut the lead to 12 and an open look that could have made it 9. It genuinely bothers me when their is lack of respek for the game, It actually enrages me, makes me sick seeing people watch the ball go out of bounds, or show total disregard for getting back on defense among est other crimes perpetrated against the greatest game ever invented. I pride myself on being a great teammate someone who plays to their capabilities someone who tries, and knows that when i am a detriment to the team on the court then I take a seat. I'd Like to Thank QB (Queensbridge) for the opportunity to play, but No Thank you this "Game" is not for me anymore.............

Its been

 Over 36 days since my last date, and with no prospects coming up I decided yup to re up again to jdate but not as a member... yet, The Sephlink text ed me about a great girl from a great family very bubbly and houtgoing.,talented a Singer.  Truth is "Bubbly" is not an adjective one likes to hear about his potential date, but I found it a lil im appropriate to ask how Bubbly, I gave them my FB info and said what the hell..... Out of respek for my  great friend  Munster I am going to decline going out with a young lady Whose brother in law refused to sing at his nuptials for under 1000 a song. We also went out sometime ago I think the No Chemistry reason was the reason we didn't go for a Second date.....Breaking news BG (bubbly girl) said "she'd love to meet me" give her a call.........

An Israeli Tip

  Never leave an inch of space in a line. Both Scalars and Religious can squeeze you out in a second....Never in my life did it bother me to be part of the middle class until I flew El Al with the seat in front of me practically on my lap and the bourgeoisie Israeli couple from Kibbutz Gezer near Latrun to me left my flight fate was sealed I just prayed we get in safely most of the time ........ If Essa comes to smite the first camp then at least the other should be saved- when 2 valises were allowed I used to incorporate that strategy with my clothes- but when my prestigious yuteveta chocolate milk was confiscated at first security I was pleased to at least find the smaller bottles at the duty free-of course at triple the price. Realizing after the it is forbidden to board the flight with liquids exceeding 3.5 oz I meticulously packed 3 bottles in my smaller carry on  practically conceding them and 3 in the larger stowed deep under my phylacteries. Unlike Essa both camps were thoroughly checked and 6 bottles of the chocolate milk appeared on the table. "I'm fu%#ed" the stewardess smiled apologetically. I renege on wishing a stomach ache on anyone who drinks it.... The scalper I bought tickets from last year was pissed that I didn't call him back passing on his 4th row seats for 2000nis or roughly $575.... Called out as a wuss for not spending chaye Sarah here are some of the factors that played against me, how to make arrangements to get back to Jerusalem having to be up early for a flight the next day, spending the shabbos with strangers, the Marzals were all full and heaven forbid what if I needed to go #2. None the less thousands flocked for The cave purchasing anniversary..... I was shocked to learn that the Sephardi haradey community does NOT say the prayer for peace of the STATE of Israel No Respek ........

Security at Nokia

Arena in Tel aviv is iron clad they confiscated my one flavor of axe deodorant I had but not the other....My $200 per seats were good but not as good as I expected, and it irritated the hell out of me that DDG decided to show up 2 minutes before tip off , to apparently save $7 by taking a bus rather than a cab. The Atmosphere was electric and Macabi cruised......... if not for the hospitality of all the people i have met up in Israel my fuel band steps would be at a quarter of what they would have been accounted for so thanks to everyone who encouraged me to go to them rather than offer to come get me...... I still haven't stopped eating since I got here......Itching for some action I walked by the Damascus gate Friday after prayers, but in a way glad that besides taking an extra 12 and half minutes to exit to the street the situation is quiet......Once again there was no pilgrimage to the Temple amount, I tried to find a loophole via the Kabbalist and War hero R Ben shushan " due to holiness of the place and the fact that we don't know the places we can  go around its preferable not to" ..... Now that I have impressed a couple of girls for "being organized for a guy" more material to add to my dating resume, and I could also add that I am considered Rich in certain parts of the hemisphere...

I know this

guy whose name resembles a cheese that went all out for a girl. Red carpet treatment for his girl prime seats at a  basketball game, Dinner at a 5 star restaurant the whole nine yards his return on his investment 0.0. Now Minus dinner and the red carpet me and DDG( Design Danish Girl B)will be attending the Macabi Tel Aviv Basketball game with me my return 0.0...... Is it odd for a Bodega type style store to sell headphones?  "Does it look like we sell headphones??- instead of going through the motions i apologized for asking. I did buy generic Headphones with the BS''D on top, With G0ds help the headphones still didn't work.....Their will be no Tikkun Olam this trip as the Program Lap Dances for the Needy to save the strippers souls is on hold.....Their will be court-side seats to Macabbe Tel Aviv off their website i purchased two tickets 11 rows up price NIS 1400  or roughly $400 the same amount at MSG to see the knicks would send you somewhere's close to the nose bleeds.....Some Action at the Internet Cafe not Haradeim watching porn but one of the patrons upset at an employee commenting on his girlfriends ass. A short transcript of the conversation "let me see you talk to my girlfriend one more time i don't care how old you are im gonna f#ku in the ass and fu#%ck you up Throw a bunch of ben zona's and a big melee almost infused " the gentleman and his girlfriend were escorted out. It may have been a lil cynical of me to really want to see a fight......

On my way

   to Tel Aviv to meet up My Danish FB friend, One of the giants of backgammon; Falafel called me to see what i was up to. We met up at his barber shop and then walked to meet DDG( Danish design girl) I was perhaps thinking of setting up a shidduch as I am found myself TO RELIGIOUS for her. Their was no love connection but we all bonded over backgammon and stories of failed relationships....30 Years to the Beirut  Marine barrack bombing 241 marines were killed in the carnage by Hezbollah......Visiting Mount Herzl Military cemetery in Jerusalem and reading the headstones of all those who were killed defending and fighting for the Jewish State was Humbling and inspiring. The Tombs of Yoni Netnayhaou the commander at Entebbe and David "Dado" Elazar the brilliant chief of staff that prevented the destruction of the Third Temple during the Yom Kippur are side by side both died roughly six weeks apart in 1976.........
 

The Great Bill Russel

     Joked once that if you can bottle all the emotion that is released in a game you would have enough hatred to start a war and enough joy to prevent one. Thank g0d a war was averted as Beitar Jerusalem with a late goal defeated its arch enemy Hapoel Tel aviv 1-0. The rivalry that pre dates the founding of the state is Labor v. Revisionist Zionism, Secular v traditional, Left v Right  Haves V Haves not's  and Ashkenazim Elite and Sephardi. The hatred is still as intense from the days of the Arlozorof murder and the Sinking of the Altelna. Teddy Stadium in Jerusalem held a moment of silence for Rav Ovadia something unprecedented in Israeli Soccer, and the war was on. It took me a little while to catch up to the chants but i got them for the most part you're mother is a whore whose gonna suck it for us, You are whores, son's of bitches and faggots etc. it amazed me that the 30k plus that attended from all ages for knew the chants. A true love affair between a city and it's team and with G0ds help we won, and the fans deserved every bit of the victory....... Here is how I know i am not Israeli waiting on line to get in i was with in the first 50 -75 fans at the gate I would estimate that i was probably the 1000th to get in didn't matter though........

MVP

   With all the intensive foods my relatives feed me The MVP(most valuable product) of the trip thus far has been the flush able wipes.... What was cooking didn't even get on the fire for some reason an Aunt of mine had me call a 32 year old girl from the West Bank settlement of Kfar Adumim we refer to it as Judeah. Trying to make some sort of conversation which went much like catching the wind I asked her If she was interested in just meeting up for a drink ...... About a five second pause interjecting again I asked if she was comfortable with that...... Another five seconds " I'm sorry no " All the best . I am very curious to see what rejected me....Should I move to Tel Aviv I will miss The absolute worlds greatest outdoor party part II, I don't think i can pass that up...........

The Absolute Worlds

  Greatest Outdoor party, lived up to everyone of my expectations except on Steroids, It's indescribable what Goes on  at Kabbalat Shabbat at the Kotel Plaza, It's a must experience...... I prayed at an old family shul and ran into the Kabbalist  R' Yeshoua Ben Shoushan, a decorated war hero, and more notably known for his Role in trying to blow up the Al-Aqsa Mosque in the mid 80's. It was fascinating to hear him speak, he was tortured by his interrogators and sat Three Years, I made sure to get a blessing from him......Another Great thing about Israel you can pretty much piss anywhere with out repercussions......No action thus far, Except for some Arabs Throwing rocks Near Nablus Rd, and Haradeim in Mea' Shearim serenading a Police car driving through the area on Shabbat with the Shabbos chant Nazis......Somethings cooking behind the scenes, but I can't imagine anything coming to Fruition, Which may lead me to play Father Flanagan to the poor poor Strippers at the TA Clubs, all for the sake of  TIKUN OLAM........

The Jewish

City of Hevron is always Special, Just something in the air there. After about a one hour ride I got off at the cave, Once again I covered for all those who asked I pray, and also ran into Right Wing Extremist Baruch Marzal who actually recognized me, and asked if my Brother was still linked to Shas Chairman Arye Deri? He may find me a place to stay for Chaye Sara. I missed my bus back to Jerusalem and had to stay and extra hour and fifty two minutes for the next, It gave me a chance to tour the Avraham Avenu Neighborhood as well as some Arab Area's The kids kept pestering me for Money, of which i relented and gave them around 30 Shekels roughly $8.....Logic dictates that while waiting for 2 people to fill up a 10 person communal cab to Tel Aviv That if It's taking a long time then Everyone should pick up the slack and chip in to buy the remaining Two Seats, You'res Truly was Everyone 48 Shekels or $13..... It was nice to meet up with an old friend,she's been going through a lot with the death of her sister etc..We met up with a couple of her friends one a younger version of Sandra Bernhard who looked older but was nice and another a pretty hot and hot tempered daughter of an ex diplomat who grew up abroad. " what are you doing here" I told her I came to see you- she shot me a look like I just farted in church. We did agree to all go out again next week. I left the girls to meet up with a FB Danish - Israeli friend who surprised me by looking better than her profile. The chemistry was there but nearly enough to make any drastic life changes and onwards to the central bus station . Refusing to get ripped off by a cab, I chose to take the 20 minute through the slums of telaviv riddled with Sudanese, drunks and crack whores, some of the people along the way made the Aarabs look like Sunday school teachers........

Service ,

Is not an Israeli specialty I sat down at a restaurant and waited a good fifteen minutes before a waitress came by ( this happened to me last time ) and another 20 minutes till she brought the food, no water, one napkin, not one pass by's asking if I needed anything.......Rachel's tomb was a mob scene as my cab couldn't even pass through I walked to walk the 1000+ spiral yards around the heavy Concrete and barb wire - when refused a former Angelo and his wife told me to get into their car. I sat near they're mentally handicap daughter who was screaming , which got a lil comfortable cause I was unsure weather it was me or she was screaming before.fifteen minutes later we made it I had four people that asked me to pray for them and with clear conscience I Prayed and that included an Ex as well ( She doesn't know i am  here).......

It's no

  Myth that should you be the first to check in you're luggage in all likely hood it''ll be the last to come. Arriving at the airport Extra early and with Plenty of time to kill ( bad choice of words) I walked around the Terminal for over 30 minutes registering around 300 extra Nike Fuel Band Points. I like to usually be one of the last people to board just makes me feel like i have more control whom I sit next to, it's better than the anticipation of guessing to whom I'll have the good fortune to sit next. The Lucky Winner the empty chair.... One last play for RRPG( really really pretty girl) saying Ill pray for her etc.. QB was impressed with the text, But no reply History will not be kind to me on this one.... The communal cab to Jerusalem went smooth except for a Russian getting off at Ramot taking a Haradey woman's suitcase getting of in Minhat Yizhak. A confirmation in sued between the Angelo haradey woman and the Pudgy overly Hyper Israeli Guy, She kept blaming in on the fact that he wasn't shomer Shabbos .Twenty Minutes later Cooler heads prevailed after he told her to Shur up and and a relative took over. Thanks to my Israeli passport I was charged an 18% VAT tax it's kind of like an Sy electronic Made up tax, The sign that reads free Wifi is only Free Wifi for the first Hour of you're stay, and My dad would be disappointed that I am NOT entitled to the Free Breakfast I wont break his heart. Extra Flushes are Free.... For now.....

Holy CoW

 No Pun intended. It amazed  me how many people have holes in their socks, Attending my First and last Hindu Wedding I walked into the temple with my Shoes before I could take another step I was Ushered outside by an older priest and told to remove my Shoes I guess this was my Moses in the Burning Bush moment when g0d instructed him to remove his shoes. Seeing the Statues for the various Gods they have I was fixated on the worshipers socks  Their were at least Five people with Holy Socks, and its not part of the religion. The Ceremony had an array of candles incense, Red dots, Money on trays, walking around, the groom by the bride and it got capped off by the Tug of War which ended in a draw, and an omen for a happy marriage......
         

Not to sound

    like the spies  who went to Scout out the land of Israel, and then spoke ill will of the Land. I will just say its pretty Expensive for a Second Rate Jerusalem Hotel By the old Mandelbaum Gate Near Sheikh Jarra $228 a Night, However the really good thing about Israel is That I can freely wear White gym socks with dress shoes and would fit right in...... Their should be a lot of Action with Mayoral Elections in Jerusalem and for my readers should i get kidnapped by A Arabs the Code word if I am in Distress is ROBESON.....        Hanging out with my new friend via the law contra positive and our mutual friend I decided to feel out the situation with her and see whats up "  " she thinks I'm Awesome, loves you're company but religious level not compatible" Hmm with out blinking the answer is " NOT ATTRACTED TO ME " i am not a fan of patronage Nor do I believe I am awesome or Good Company.......Plan B make plans with some of the friends of the girls I became friendly with on line The law of contra positive is Universal.............

The Best that Never Was........

 
   based on Advice from JB I sent Lloyd "Sweepea" Daniels a message and friend request on FB. Why I don't know except for the fact that I thought it'd be really cool to friend the legendary playground legend who should have been the next Magic........    It's time  for me to officially retire from Basketball, cause i completely lost my mind. In embarrassing fashion i instructed to foul before the half thinking we had one to give and hence run out the clock, but sadly miscounted,  they made both Free throws. We played catch up the whole night and humiliatingly lost by a comfortable ten. The main difference between now and then I think is that Then there was more pride it was humiliating watching take so many open lay ups, Not one guy put someone on their ass.........Random- an old friend walks into my place, and puts me on the phone with a 36 year old girl whom he thinks is perfect for me - Despite the blindsiding, we had a nice conversation though i think she may have been disappointed that I was from the Torah Side of the Laniados and not the Rich one's  ( Laniado Hospital) The usual check me out on FB let me know what you think. I'm not sure what she thinks so I didn't call her.....yet.......In the Union Square area I decided to check out Stern side kick Robin Quivers Book Signing. Cost me $38.11 and about 37 minutes to meet her and have my book signed. Pretending to be DM I reminded her about the letter he wrote that Howard read on the air and told her I was Sephardi I asked her "When we were going out" - " Ronny ( The little security guy ) doesn't let" I didn't really want to take her out............






            
               Is

Anniversary Edition

     Hundreds of Dates,One meaningful Relationship, Five Trips to the Israel, One Hair Surgery, And Eleven Trips to the Holy City Happy 3 Year Anniversary to the OB.  What have we learned? Mark Twain Said it best  “History does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme,” ....... I have Begun my pre- flight prayers for my Trip to The Jewish State of course to get there safe, not to sit near over sized Haradeim and most importantly not to have to go #2. All Dairy products will be cut as of Sunday..... I have yet to contact any of the potential girls i can meet ranging from Acre in the North to Ashekelon in the South but really more interested in a long shot here or just meeting someone on my own. The Good Thing about Israel I Substitute my personality for being Rich.Universally to any Girls Good looking is out of the question Bummer...... Would the Syrian Community accept members of the "Falash Mura or Beita Ysrael" Ethiopian Jews? They were deemed Jewish and allowed Aliyah based on R' Ovaadia Ruling...........I think I am going to apologize to SSCG(Spirit of Second Chance girl) for acting like a douche-bag seems like the right thing to do.

Overhearing Some

 Shiva callers in my lobby talking about a "great man" that has passed away  that lived in the Building  I asked my doorman about who he was-  "A Racist Prick"- .........The Jewish world  also Mourns the passing of a Giant Torah Scholar R Haim Ovadia Yosef the Spiritual leader of Shas. DM points how all these revelers at Clubs and Resorts are posting their Photos with the Rabbi and Just Simply Can't, Thanksgiving in IBIZA......The Rabbi had major influence over The kashrut Business amongst other religious affairs, I hope his Family and Handlers can come to amicable resolution over the distribution of the empire...Kudos to PM Netanyahou on both his speeches at the UN and Bar Ilan - for showing Beginsque pride in his Country and articulating the Iranian Nuclear threat and the Expectations from the Palestinians, Finally Negotiating from Z to A rather than A-Z.NoMore Nothingyahou.....Running into the Polska Parade It was fascinating to see not a spec of dirt or Litter, Give them Credit they may be anti-Semitic but at least they're clean. I had some good Questions lined up but no Interviews...........After the failure of my "Dirty Shirt Idea" a new Light bulb came upon me " Fat People Food inc"  - A line of low calorie Snacks and foods that would only can be purchased my People above the Weight Line......

BIRTHDAY RETRACTIONS,

   apologizes to those who Sent their Bday Greetings DM, RAE, SSCG ( spirit of second chances girl)   My friend  LR and a friend via law contra positive took me out to celebrate the NON celebration...... Speaking of SSCG I thought that we both kind of agreed that even though we agreed to go out again we weren't "Never heard back from you..so i guess you weren't being Sincere when we met" Firstly Oscar Wilde on Sincerity "A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal." After a few Exchanges of the confusion and rejecting the deflection notion of which i probably was, Things ended up just about as well as the first time. As Usual I Screw up..STCG??.........There will be a Return Trip to the Eternal and undivided Capital of the Jewish people, I am waiting on the Bring me list.........However their will not be a Seasonal Basketball Blog perhaps little updates in (  ) as to not Bore the Readers.......(   QB who DM likened to Chris Mullin i added when was on Blow - Assembled a diverse team Featuring Budda - Voted Sham's all time best player and also known for his French Fries Summit with Coach Truck - Barney - The Giant Puking Big Man - Charlie -Cherry Picking and Basket hanging extraordinaire  Tabache- The Gary McClain of the league, shows great poise playing High - EEE- Nope not that one but a cousin who honed his skills at the EEE basketball academy........ Week #1 pitted up against perennial cellar dwellers Team kameo- After a very slow  Start, Thanks to their horrific play  we exploded on a 18 point run to run them out of the Gym. Quote of the day "when you're  6-2 star is Matched up against a 5-4 portly guy doesn't get the ball and you still win by Twenty nothing more to be said".  Fisticuffs almost broke after the game between QB and Charlie over Substitutions and Minutes Thank G0d for cigarettes and Booze as cooler heads prevailed).......

If A Girl Says

          she's not into  you from FB Profiles and pics and would rather meet in Person - means take a hike no way am i going out with you?.....Me and EEE concocted a plan he suggested i should try to hook up with a  "Hot new Ex Athlete" ( she played tennis)  financial administrator at a local school. I would walk in offering to cover the tuition cost of a family member and hence will show her that i am a really good guy and most importantly very wealthy, this will also  make her look good that she's on top of her job and again most importantly that i am really rich. The fact that I am a very Ex Athlete also  makes it a slam dunk ........ The Stats for Sept  were 461,541 steps 225.8 miles and 92,962 fuel points and I still gained weight, The Nike Fuel Band has been worthless. Since i am devout follower of EEE girls advice maybe his Weight advice will be beneficial for me...... SSCG( spirit of second chance girl) will not turn to STCG( spirit of third chance girl) despite her HBD greeting and the fact that we spoke of going out again. She's a terrific girl, but  the only chemistry we had was the fact that we shared the same religious ideals.....