Can Everyone Be Rich?

  Just like all of you, I too got the Special prayer for Wealth, Again "Ya Gotta Believe", and I did, read it but again if We all become Rich are we Rich?.......My Brother  had some sort of pull in the Airport as he and his 22+ bags and me, were whisked through security and averted a well over an Hour line at the Airport, he got me into the First class lounge also, i had the best tuna fish ever, I'm  sure the old guy sitting next to me wasn't too happy....I laid 4-1 odds at  the baggage carousel my one valise against 13,  but  the guy i bet, already got Three, I won....... A Special Thanks to DM for not only helping me out with my car, but my mail and deposits......After my online  Israel Girl Failures, I am focused back on the American Girls, A couple of prospects, One being a pretty Hot 48 Year old,  I'm Going  for the Jugular right away

My Speech at the,

 Shabat had to be censored, it was very nationalistic, and the staff catering the event were all Israeli Arab, the last thing i wanted,  was for  them to Sabatoge the food or something like that, I had to censore some  inappropriate stuff as well, i may or may not post it it's not really relavent.....  I am guessing I was the lessest of Evils, at The Shabbat Prayers this morning, as I was appointed by my Father to say the Begining parts of the Prayers- I don't like being the Cantor at any point as I am not very religous, but in this instance I was a little more than everyone else. My Father stretched out the Prayers and got insulted when i commented to him  "Torach Tzibur"- or affecting the publics needs, Were back to being frends again..... The one thing i wont miss is Food, I know cause My Tight Jeans got Tighter.....For all those I prayed for, and they were Sincere prayers- I hope it works "Ya Gotta Believe"........

Not that I care,

But i think i lost eleven FB friends this week, I started with 229, Better for me Less People to share my Lotto winnings with....My accented Saalam walakim couldn't fool the guards from Damascus gate to go into the Temple Mount- they said if I wasn't Mooslim I could have a lot of problems if I went up there on Friday for Jumma prayers...Whats better than Kabbalat Shabbat at the kotel- Kabbalat Shabbat at the Kotel when it pours, Well not really but still an expierence, Under the Tunnels its packed and nearly Impossible to hear, Still Special..... It Bothers me a little that the expensive hotels In Israel don't give you free WiFi- Maybe i can't complain, I didn't foot the bill, but still.....Online Israeli Girls have been a bust this trip , I gave up after going 0-14............

Racing

 my 13 year old nephew, in the Negev was probably not a good idea, i took a Nasty spill, it didn't matter i was slightly behind and probably had no chance winning....The Negev festivities continued with a Khadaffy Style party in a huge Bedouin Tent, More Food........Thursday - The Torah Dedication at the Tel Nof Air Base- The way the Soldiers celebrated the dedication was indescribable it epitomized what Am Ysrael is about- There was Speeches, Singing, Dancing, and Yup more food........ I decided to trek to Tel Aviv to go a Mac TA V Barcelona Game- I think for the Most part The Israeli Scalpers are Honest, and we spent around $150 per Ticket around twenty rows up. The Fans DO NOT, stop for a second, they Sing, They Boo on every position, the noise is deafening- The cursing is fun, I can't imagine a better sporting enviorment not even on the college level- and for the record former Jewish Duke Star Jon Scheyer Sucks, Maccabi Lost......

A Recap,

of the Week ---Monday- The Bar Mitzvah at The Hurva, Followed by party at "Beit Shemuel"- its a center for Progressive Jewry -Kind of like a reform Temple- The Highlight was watching a cousin of mine getting a Parking ticket and fighting with the meter maid Israeli Style- for the record it was the $1841.40 Camera Cousin" I still didn't get paid......Tuesday- The Negev Desert trip, I keep seeing the Same person over and over again Big Paulie will call him- He's one of those guys that likes to be "overly Helpful" that always tries, but comes off obnoxious. We played Paintball wars - where i volunteered to get shot at the most- I had to make up for my "Wuss" Moment at the Blind Museum, I got tuns of welts, Also  camel riding in the desert with "Ancient Bedouins" but updated ones  they were talking on the cell phones during the ride.... Food remains the Theme to the Excursion - My brother in law joked that we should sit next to my brothers- brother in law from the other side and eat what he eats, he can't weigh more than 120.....

This will be the last,

bar Mitzvah speech of my nephews, where they will give me a mention and say that I am still Single- I told my nephews I'll either be married,dead or both by the next kid's Bar Mitzvah.....Well the worst thing that can happen with my Blind date tonight Happened. The cash cow comment i made was really a Freudian Slip and  no levity was intended.The Silver Lining to the night was that I didn't really eat. I am starting to think people that both know me and don't- don't really like me*.......It's a small world after all- The Brother of The Israeli guy That i was supposed to invest money with is a concierge at the hotel, The deal never fell through and was apologetic that i Reneged, just for the record the "lie" that I made up could actually be true.as the Money That I am due is being "held up " hmmmm/  he offered to speak to the bell- hop to send a Russian girl to my room, Good Guy........

*a wife of one of my cousins whom i hadnt seen in 30 years and never met her set me up

No I did not miss,

The Giants game, unlike other big sporting moments of which I missed the worst being being forced to go out to eat. I got to watch the game at the hotel on a large screen tv at one thirty and didn't sleep the rest of night....The days highlight was Riding in an APC across Abu-Dis in Judeah others refer to it as the west Bank.... A panic attack let me out of the one hour and fifteen minute tour at the blind museum - I felt horrible saying "let me the fu##^% out of here" - swearing in front my nieces and nephews , my second outburst of the trip, the other we don't need to talk about ....The prayers were at the Hurva synogouge in the Jewish quarter- I wish people would appreciate the place more, its an amazing site, we barely had a minyan, not for lack of people...I got set up on a blind date tonight- with an American girl who moved to Jerusalem,and that she's 35. I didn't ask any questions, except what's the worst that can happen.? I'm still eating.....

From Taharir Square

Straight to Jerusalem, The Egyptians are all over, and Jerusalem will probably never be the same again.. I ran into Several Prominent Egyptian Basketball playing families,actually heard them first. They are Entertaining, Vegas has them scuffling 4 times for the week- I'm betting the over.....I am scared to ask what this whole trip is costing the hotels, party's, Donations, Etc....Unapproachable again, do I say hello to people I see in Israel, that i dont say hello to in NY ? so far No.... Brilliance - selling advertising or dedication names on the Kotel Stones, people pay thousands of dollars to open up the Ark on holidays here, can u imagine how much they'd pay to put a name on the actual stones of the Kotel....Next week's Schedule is all set, and I will be participating in all events, which makes hooking up Highly Doubtful, not that it wasn't highly doubtful before......The Only Thing i haven't been able to do here is Shut my Mouth, I haven't stopped eating since I got here...Kabbalat Shabbat at Kotel AMAZING....

To answer a,

Stupid question Yes I really do pay respects, to Menachem Begin every time I'm in Israel and No I do not rearrange the stones on the grave and take a bunch of pictures all at once to make it seem like I always go....Switching Hotels, to the one that will be occupied primarily by Syrio-Egyptians, leaves no chance for In calls with the Jerusalem Craigslists girls, The Hotel must be 80% Community..... Ammuntion Hill A major battle site of the 6  Day War  That represents  Heroism, meseroot Nefesh, Sacrfice, Patriotism - In One word Humbling........ Looking forward to attending the Worlds Greatest outdoor party Tonight - That of course being Kabbalat Shabbat - Kotel Plaza.........

It's Entertaining,

To watch the Hotel Front Desks Reaction When I asked them If I can order any Porno Movies, For the Record they dont offer Porn Movies in Jerusalem Hotels, It has something to do with a certain Sect....I literally stumbled across an Anti- Racielest rally against the Ethiopian citizens of the state. There are so many distasteful jokes that I could of made, and I don't want to sound sensitive, but the level of prejudice against them is intolerobale. The mood was festive with speeches and songs and over 5000 mainly young people, it was a little creepy for some of the whites there to put on Black Face, they all sang the Hatikvah at the end, was a special moment.... I haven't slept in two nights,and considering taking a stix(code name for Xanax 2mg)... Not to speak ill of the promised land, but I should have brought good toilet paper and wipes.....0-13 in Israeli online girls F- that stupid Murphy's law....

The Red String

is probably a scam, the knock off red Strings are probably a bigger Scam. At Kever Rachel The Strings they sell are usually in a package, but couldn't find the person that was selling them, A Haseedem approached me with a stash of loose red strings and asked for a Donation- Promising to bring some back for people I had no choice..... No Matter how many times I go to Mt Olives I always get lost- not this time, I took pictures of the area last time and was able to Pay respects to M. Begin in no time...... My Father  on  "Breakfastgate" He refuses to talk about or to even comment how much it fills him up anymore......I managed to make it  to Hebron as well today and have concluded my pilgrimage to the Holy Sites, Temple Mount is next - But according to Sephardic Customs we are forbidden to go up there, I am Half Ashkenazim........No More FB Posts or Photos I have been bombing........

Advice for ELAL.

There is no way you can beat the haradeems. I got scammed $70 Bones for an extra Luggage, but with there only one bag rule, what happens is everyone brings there oversized carry on + Plus Heavy coats and Hats + Garbage Bags on the Plane, It makes things terribely congested on the overhead bins and stirs a lot of fights.... On The Subject of How much is Seventy Dollars in Israel?  Suppose you go to the Strip club, it can carry you for 14 lap dances- for all math majors That is a Whopping $5 per Lap dance WOW....... If any relatives are reading this If you want your'e stuff  I am staying at the Grand Court Hotel In Jerusalem, as previously described it's like the Harlem Part of NYC.......Back to Being Un Aproachable, I did a great Job avoiding Several Syrians that were on my Flight, only to exchange Hello's when it was completly unavoidable, Objectively Speaking they were probably avoiding me too...........

From Landing,

until I reached my Hotel ( the same one w/ the arabs) but still in the Eternal and indivisable capital of the Jewish People 2 :33:16 seconds, The communal cab, and traffic were to blame.....My note at the Kotel read as follows

I had a dream......

Happy MLK day, Howard Stern is A- Hole for taking the day off ....Another Encounter with the Taliban Sunday Afternoon, The Rabbi waved me off again for a minyan, I was in shorts coming back from center, No Offense Taken....... I generally ask of G0d, three things when I fly To get me there safe, to Not make me have to go #2, and to seat me next to a hot girl, or as long as it's not the Haradeim, I am a man Resigned to my Fate and stopped asking............ Special Thanks to DM for helping me out with my Mail and babysitting my car- Should give a special mention to His parents on that, it really helps me out a lot, I definite owe them one..........I Hope no one from Israeli Customs reads this blog, I have a $1841.44 Video Camera, and IPhone 4S, North Face Jacket, 20 Cialis pills, and several pocketbooks that  highlight my Valises this time around, I couldn't  pack according to the Jacob preparing for Essa Way.....Stat of the Day 0-11 on Israeli on line Girls......

Deuces Never Loses....

   A girl Messaged me on Line Friday and after a short conversation, "When are We meeting up"?....Saturday night W Hotel on Lexington the Whisky Bar 800 pm. As usual I was early, and got the " I'm Running Late" text. I was in one of those situations where i was on the fence on having to go Number Two, already over Twenty Minutes late, I decided to get it out of the way, I texted her That I had to go feed the meter. By The Time I got back she was waiting for me, She looked like her photos, Cute and Petite. She apologized, the Trains were running late. We ordered  Drinks, But the Deuce was calling again, I was fighting it off and started sweating good thing it was dark, and she had worse eye contact than me. Also she had this annoying habit of pausing between sentences when she spoke, so I never knew when she finished a thought. I excused myself, and lied to her that the reason i came back so late was i took the wrong elevators .  I dropped her off, My New Red String Bracelet didn't bring me luck, But Perhaps Church On Sunday if I am interested..............

Israeli Girls,

are very Suspicious, and direct in trying to find out guys motives. Thus far I am 0-6 on line with the IGirls I am trying to meet up with. I met a girl once in Israel  and She flat out asked  "You leeve in America what  you want?, You want to Sleep with me?" . Hmmm was this a trick question? the answer in my mind was a resounding yes but didn't have the co hones to say that, She left right after..........hing 
I commented to EE that his Housekeeper is very attractive  EE:  u wanna bang my Hadama? Another Trick Question?.........FB sucks, cause people can track you when you travel, I Emailed a few people I didn't want too notifying them I will be in there country, cause then they would find out and may or may not get insulted........I have no clue how to get the blue off this entry, that's why its Blue..............

Quitter, Sucker, Stupid,

   
     Suck@$$, and  a whole slew of "Told You Soos" Firstly to answer the Question NO I will not be  jumping off the Willis Ave Bridge, Secondly I will heed the advice of the Majority and against the advice of  my good friend EE, Cut my losses and Quit on RE girl.....EE  who magnanimously hosted us for cards last night, (I broke even) Wasn't very happy to find the surprise i left for him in his jacket ( Hot Tamales) this morning, "EggsGate" was a lot worse......I really Wanted to go to Joseph's Tomb In Nablus, Not because I am Religious or Nutty, But more so as an F-U to the Arabs, and Israeli Left who condemn these trips, Unfortunately I couldn't get on a military escorted Tour. The Trip to the Exclusive Negev Spa is on, Some how the Lure of Massages and all that kind of crap doesn't scream my name, the Longest i ever lasted at a massage was Twelve Minutes, But is all about Family......Something tells me not to get involved with bringing a $1700 Camera for a relative...........

Cat and Mouse,

Is what I have been playing with my landlord the past couple days. My Landlord is an Older Shamie Gentlemen, Who hatched up a Scheme, he  wants me to take a "gift" from him for his niece in Israel, So That i can meet her, Of course I said Yes, but now have been avoiding, I haven't answered his calls or even the Bell when he comes to the House........ "It's In You're hands, Not G0d's" Thanks to DS for Some Valuable advice...... Is the cup half empty or half full, The right answer the "Cup Runneth Over"( if youre scoring at home its the  23rd Psalm)......Sephlink called again, They Expounded my age range but 25?? I think is too young, I passed........Back to Online, I Know again, I have a good strategy though this time.........

There are Winners,

and there are those that don't win.. I was hoping RE would cancel on Sunday, not cause I didn't want to see her, But Because i got the vibe That she didn't really want to go out, My Instincts were right, She was tired ( where has that happened to me before) Cold, and Yawned a lot- Despite that she still brought her Giant Personality plus she looked hot. After a relatively quick dinner, and BS conversation I took her home, She mentioned she'll be in midtown tomorrow as I was going to be also ( not by purpose) and if she needed a ride. I took her home and i went all in, fully aware of her response-"Not to put any pressure, just wanted to  know whats up"...... I was full expecting the "let's be friends" speech, but to her credit she's good  " i don't   really know you, I need to get to know you better"- Both knowing what that really means we closed up with every thing's cool, and that she'll let me know how the showing goes tomorrow . RE in my opinion is Brilliant and here's why cause she makes believe that you can get her, I'm not talking about like people think because strippers are nice to them, they have a shot to get them  kind of way. That's just her personality I just misread it and should have folded Three weeks ago.......No Church On Sunday........

The S.C.C.,

(Seph Community Center) is the same in 2012 as it was 2002 or 1992 or when it opened in 1982 or whenever....I am amazed that the generation turn over has produced the same crop of Douches, People come to play basketball and everywhere in the world it's the next five players that are waiting play.Only in the center people literally Lie to you to you're face say they have Five and Pick off the court. In their Defense this has been happening since the Birth of the Center... Some things just never change Bruce Hornesby......I am officially Retiring from the Center Basketball, The abundance of dribbling, the mortifying shot selection, the total disregard for any fundamentals, the bickering over every call and worse is the guys that are horrible and think there good make up for the Absolute worst Basketball Ever..........

The Bring me/Take for

 me  Wish list so far....... 2 bottles of Zantac , 20 tablets Cialis,a Justin Beiver Perfume, Replacement heads for a norelco Shaver, a set of unbreakable plates, a "small"  luggage,  "A smaller luggage", and a couple of 011 ignored calls..... I have written out my note to put in the kotel, It's not really private so Ill publish it here when I put it in.......There is a family trip to the Negev, That is very Expensive and Exclusive I am scared to tell my Sister in Law I can't make it, She's done an amazing job organizing this trip......It's crazy, How i can't get a read on RE, We Spoke Friday  about APT nonsense, and some general conversation I crow bared asking her out for Sunday  "OK Sure"....Maybe i should read her my Poem.....I look forward to Free Diets, The One on Thursday was an easy one, I made up for it plenty after and through the weekend......

You can tell a lot,

what people think about you, by the type of people they set you up.....I Introduced a girl that I know to a matchmaker Will call DB  upon seeing her was nothing but flattering " You're so pretty, Put together, terrific and if only my son was older blablabla". The compliments didn't stop and I thought  great. Fast Forward The girl called me and told me  Mrs DB tried  pushing this set up on me; again I'm thinking great.  and... Well the guy is five years younger than me  and a convert from an E. African country, very religious. Then she Said DB also tried to set me up with a guy who was about 22 years older than me ( I remember this cause i told her that in dog years it wasn't so bad, but as a joke of course).  Very Upset and Hurt she asked me "Why does she always try to set me up with misfits or people that don't match me  does she  think of me as a desperate Case or more powerfully put Second Class"? DB is no doubt a nice woman but  thinks because she is of  Ethiopian descent she will settle for anything, cause she either is not accepted or can't do better-It's not about her looks, She's had no problems getting guys - it's about the question weather shes a real Jew or Not- and that whole element of Prejudice in the ultra orthodox world Stinks.The Headlines in Israel were dominated by discrimination - either Haredeim against Woman, A soldier with a Kippa refused entry to a club, and discrimination  against Ethiopians in Kiryat Malachi ( Thanks to ML for article) Goaal Nefesh ..........

"Stop Playing,

  Text Chess and reading between the lines.Every time you send a text you're thinking 3 texts ahead, and asses each reply be it too short to long, just get to the point". This was the advice given to me regarding RE..... On the Subject of texts sending the Wrong text by "Accident" to a girl you really like, should only be utilized when desperation kicks in. " Think of it like saving a time out "  You may never use it, but it's always always good to have. It can always be defended and is pretty much full proof .......A line from a Poem That I read  This guy can be the next Whitman or Frost " We Went out for Sushi and Edamame- But I really wanted to slip her my Salami"...... With the above advice I sent RE a nice Text and  of course asking her out again - her reply " happy New Year, I'm at airport OK Sounds Good" -  She's Not exactly  Pointer Sister Excited  But non the less an Ok..............

Two Weeks,

  to when I return to the Eternal and indivisible capital of the Jewish People,( for the 4th time since the blog opened) and thus far I only got two "Bring me something or take something for me" Phone calls, This is the ultimate test for my Just Say No Resolution campaign, I think Ill ignore the calls..... The Worst Request I ever got was for Free Viagra, I drew the line there " If I'm not Getting Laid, Why Should I pay for someone else"-  Chutzpa......I tried to weigh my Opinion on a Suit and shirt and tie I was going to buy, The Girl told me to be quiet and not talk, I do trust her wholeheartedly and didn't even bother to look at myself. She didn't use the calculator this time but showed me on the invoice the savings, of course i was happy, but not as happy as when I shopped at  Falahs  later on - I left all the shirts that made me look like a big giant ice cream sorbet,  But did well and the bonus is I don't need to roll up my sleeves, cause my brother in law is a lot taller than my brother............

Speaking of Shulamit

  Aloni I had the misfortune of running into her in the elevator of the Ramada hotel in Israel, of course i did the mature Thing, I stuck my tongue out to her and made faces the year 1983........... A Special Birthday wish to one of the All time Great Mothers Mrs B......Sticking to my resolution of being more social, I Went to a Bris of an Old Friend of my Brothers, whom was know for his legendary conquests. Sticking to another Resolution I didn't avoid people and Was Approachable. I hung Out with JJN, Whose my go to guy for Transferring Dating pressure off of me, I just push it on him.The Food lines were long, but was amazed how my father was able to get in with relative ease, another thing i admire him for. I am not sure if I am wrong for not sending a gift?...... My Phone conversation with a Smoking French Girl, Lasted around 3 minutes, I couldn't make out a word from her accent and hoarse voice aside that she sounded real nice...... Israel Doesnt abandon it's Missing Or does it ?  If only the Families of the other Missing Israeli Soldiers Would have Hijacked the country- Boosha......

Generic Texts,

or posts don't  really annoy me but i find them very disingenuous and fake Does one really have to wish  a happy health blablabla go F yourself New Year. With that in Mind I was thinking of sending one as an excuse to text RE, but thought better of it......... I didn't get any Emails or forwards this year about How NYE or the "Sylvester" was a day were Jews were persecuted and killed....I asked my five year old Nephew What we should do about the Haradeem making Trouble in Israel?  " let's kill them"........ Some Resolutions for 2012  Personal:  To Eat A lot Less, To Curse a lot  less, to Grow Balls, To learn how to say NO, Appreciate people more, become Approachable, Work Harder and more Efficient, and  to Discontinue the Blog.....