Religious Girl gone Rogue,

 and I were supposed to get together at some point, But scheduling conflicts made it not happen, So what's the next best thing to do meet up with religious girl gone Semi Rogue in Brooklyn tonight. I am pretty sure they both Know each other can get interesting.......  I am Wasting a lot of time on line I think  it's pretty evident I am in no position to go out seriously, I've pushed off 4 potential different dates Gid, "maybe down the road we can be friends and who knows...". Maybe a couple more weeks, maybe more........Today is the 33rd day that I have not used the elevator in my building that's 4 weeks and 5 days........"As of now I am in control Here Pending return of Vice President.........."- It's a Shame that Alexander Haig a Four star general, Decorated veteran, and accomplished Politician would be most remembered for that line after the attempted assassination of Ronald Reagan on 03-31-81. Haig Said that the first chapter of his obituary would be dedicated to that. Another Great Quote by the General "When it's all said and Done, You'll be on you're knees thanking and blessing the Israelis for what they did"  The Only Reagan cabinet member who refused to sanction the Israelis after Operation Opera the bombing of Iraq Nuclear Plant. 10 Years later he was right......

.... and the stick that hit the dog,

who beat up the cat, who ate the mouse,that ate the cheese, and onwards and onwards, This is in the true spirit of passover, now if someone can make freaking kosher gum that lasts more than Eleven Seconds that would solidify the miracle..........The Plug has been pulled, It's Over, it didn't make it Time for the healing process to take its course.......Great Soccer Game in the snow this past week USA trumped Costa Rica 1-0 in Denver, Man made snowstorms in late March.........Sometimes I feel like Father Mckenzie "Writing the words of a sermon no one will hear"...... A Lovely Buxom  Middle aged Woman from Milan Emails me, after a brief exchange she writes "she's looking for a Rich Husband" - " Honey you're barking up the wrong tree, Funny I emailed you back Cause you looked like an Heiress" - Truth i was just a little bored......





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The Roger Bannister,

Of  Passover. Of course it is impossible to conduct a Seder in under 4 minutes of which Bannister is immortalized for running the mile. However a seder can be done in under 28 minute. Coast to coast  and end to end from Kiddush ( blessing of the wine) to L'shana Haba in CIA Chief John Brennan's   favorite city Al Quds ( next year in Jerusalem) it took me 27 min 54 seconds and had I not dropped the ketchup probably would have made it sooner. Aside from the fact that rain made for the perfect setting ,Was this night really different than any other ?........ "Better to Die with a Rifle in you're hands Than live on you're knees"........*Speculation*- The Israeli Apology to Turkey may have something to do with the future release of convicted Spy Johnathan Pollard, with Nothinyahou anythings possible......

Peace With Honor

   is not the ideal, But when all else fails it's indubitably the next best thing.......The concept of Terminal inexactitude will be implemented A lot over the next coming week...... A Terrible Knigtmare would be DUKE V INDIANA playing for the National championship, I think I would really hate Spots then........Gd Passovered The Home of the Jewish People and They still  Get F%$ed for 8 days with this ......My New Favorite line for greetings  "All The Best", I can't imagine anything more Spurious, but i love it to all my readers  Happy Holidays and  of course "All The Best".........

The Rock Star,

       treatment I got the Breakfast  EEE donated in my honor made me feel Like Obama in Israel, the only difference was that I didn't stack The audience or congregants to get more adulation, but I am glad its over with......... Why did a beautiful Great Girl, Great Figure ever go out with me ?.......Once again I Purchased Tickets to The Jerusalem Post Conference, I don't know what the hell's the matter with me. Especially since I am on the Rand Paul Side of the Israeli- American relationship we wont support, and who the hell are we to tell you where and what to build or do in you're country Reminds me of Nothinyahou address to Congress in the late 90s..........Fascinating conversation with a religious girl gone rouge, but not totally........The new Fuel Bracelet maybe  slightly misleading as far as progress, but still makes me feel good that I reach my plateau.........
Reader A Submits Look a likes former Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez and Marquette Coach Buzz Williams, Still trying to figure out his "The Butcher, The Baker, Candlestick maker" Speech at last years NCAA Press conference.........

Marquette Coach Buzz Williams

74 Hours

37 minutes so far that I Beat Bloomberg in Parking.  At 25 cents per 15 Minutes totaling $74.63.......The Obama Visit  is already Paying dividends to the Israels with BIBI Apology to Tayeep  "Zionisim is Racisim " Erdogan At least he didn't throw his Military under the Bus. Like Some Yeshiva Coach Blaming his Losses  on Players Missing lay-ups an free throws.......Thanks to the advice of a         I purchased the Fuse- Bracelet it's brilliant I just wish i was better at Techmology......200 and 1 bones is what it cost EEE to donate a breakfast in my honor on "The Big Sabbath"  he gets to take home the leftovers........Lilith Advice was I think was good and resigning up on line has met it's objective for now.........With my FB profile changing and only a handful of friends I'm really going to miss all the Happy Holidays Wishes bummer.......Really fun  getting bashed by a couple of  "friends" regarding relationships, Even Judas Issachriot has G0d on his side........

And HARBONA,

   Shall always be remembered for good....  Just Like the  Biblical figure who suggested hanging Haman on a Tree in the book of Esther. Last Passover Season I was fortunate to go out with a young lady whom I not only went to the Holy city of Deal, and wait for her a cumulative 2 hours and 11 minutes over Two dates, almost get a hernia from Schlepping her Luggage to my car, deal with the fact that she was The winner of Ms Nebbesh 2012, and throw in a bad case of Allergies possibly to me too.  Despite all that I will always  remember her for good, maybe not the  "got some good", but the fact that she improved my Passover quality of life by suggesting that I put Jelly rings in the freezer, I must confess it was not only revolutionary,but delicious. The greatest piece of advice from a date  since I was told you are not allowed to fly when you have Bunions or maybe it was Bunion surgery. The Legend of Harbona Lives............


 

The Maddness,

   of March for me has lost some of it's Pageantry and excitement, due to the age of Big Money Mega Conferences, Players hanging around for a year, The game merging with the pop culture and worse the NBA announcers who know nothing and Spew out their stupid meaningless Stats,Who the Hell invited them to work the NCAA's. With all that nothing beats the big dance, and the cutting down of the Nets, a habit that the late Jim Valvano used to Practice. I'm really gonna go out on a "lim" just wouldnt bet on it  and predict that for the first time in Tourney History a Number #1 will fall...In reference to My Ideal match being Hanna Senesh And Mother Tersesa and Israeli Girl Emailed me She was looking for Jewish Johnny Depp and Elizer Ben Yehuda the eccentric father and founder of the Modern Hebrew Language, our conversation didn't really go beyond that........What I have learned about myself over the past Three weeks or so? I need Attention......

GeBrUx ?

 

 * Note This Blog Supports the Gebrux Side of the Argument (Special Thanks to NR)

 with special permission from the "kashash Hamam" foundation some laws and customs for the Passover Holiday

Passover Notes:

1. Poor Mans Bread Cost a $#it load of Money
2. Elijah The Prophet Comes in through the Front door and not the Chimney He does NOT bring presents
3. In The Haggadah BEN ZOMA is a Scholar and not a Son of a Bitch
4. Everyone is aware the Romanian Lettuce has been Checked for Bugs, You do NOT need to announce, when flying does the Pilot insist on Telling you That every Valise has been Checked for Bombs
5. Macaroons Are Essential to Have weather you eat them or Not, It's our Modern Day version of the Hillel Sandwich
6. Double Dipping is not only Allowed But Encouraged, This may or may not be applicable with you're local Massage Parlor
7. Customary to Not Lace one's Shoes to Symbolize the Shackles our forefathers were chained to in Egypt
8. The Jewish version of the NCAAs start on the second Night, Known as " The Omer"- The rules Single elimination, if you miss it you're out- You may still play at home..........
9. For the Married:- Yeast is Hametz
10. For the Single:- If you ask out a girl and she tells you, she has a lot of weddings and party's to attend, Means shes washing her hair Take a Hike.................

The Marriage,

    Well wishes I must say are getting a little embarrassing. Ashkenazim Chief Rabbi Yona Metzger was hosted by my brother in sister in law for Sabbath Lunch. Of course he Blessed  me in front of scores of people That this year he wants to attend my Wedding flushed and humbled I Thanked him, but little does he know how badly I bungled my last relationship. I did get to ask him How the Govt Handled the fact That He attended Rabbi Hecht's 90th Birthday party of which he said They don't care anymore, and his  upcoming meeting  with Obama regarding Jonathan Pollard, Of which he refuted my claim That He's burdensome for the Israelis and that they don't want him, or are waiting for Shimon Heres to pass on...... With confidence at an all time low and with the advice of Lilith I went back online, I am yet to Email anyone but received Twelve Emails of which I only Opened three and Two Seem Decent, If I read the Emails, I feel bad if I don't reply, but if I don't open them then then they think I don't pay for Membership and then won't feel badly that I did not respond......

Orthodox Jews Are Represented

  In Sports just about  as much as Sumo wrestlers at the Tour De France. Whatever Happened to Tamir Goodman? Dubbed the Jewish Jordan, The Yeshiva Basketball Legend  revered by Orthodox Jews like Gandhi by Alkeada,has found his name  in the same sentence as 17th Century prophet "Shabati Tzvi " and Fictional NY Met Super prospect Sid Finch as one of the biggest Hoaxes of all time. Was JJ a Victim of an over hyped Media or was he really ever good enough to play ACC level Basketball, and not only that have games scheduled around for him. Some claimed Anti-Semitic Sentiment forced him to withdraw from his scholarship offer but his unimpressive numbers at  NEC doormat Towson State refute that claim. Though he is Towson all time Jewish Leader in Assists. Their is hope for the next great Religious Jew in Sports his Name is Moshiach.......

AllAh Hu AKbaR

 was what i blurted out  While being hooked up to a coterie of wires during an EKG. My Dr looked at me like I had a dick coming out of my head, Explaining that I felt like a suicide bomber with the wires, He wasn't laughing.......An 1130 PM Text from My hasdeem Neighbors I thought it had to do with the "Bakery"- But they told me OfficeMax had an insane Deal on Lysol Wipes, Where they clearly made a mistake. Like any Good Jew I jumped at the opportunity to order as many cases as possible, The deal was to good to be True and They Are reneging on it, apparently they have a clause or disclaimer on the site That allows them legally to cancel the transaction I may consult with Attorney Extraordinaire EEE to weigh out my legal options. I figure if a crappy Company Like ElAL honoured their errors so can officeMax ....Can it get lower than SHAS sending their Spiritual leader to grovel and beg an anti religious Heretic Like Labor's Shelly Yachimovich to Join with them in a coalition ?. I guess she didn't really care about her portion in Olam Haaba.......I think I'm gonna heed Lilith's Advice...........


 

My Coaching Resume,

Speaks as follows a win less season on a JV team in 2002, and 2 Tumultuous season with  the SCC 7th and 8th grades. I was the first coach to lose to the Young Israel of Flatbush Twice in one season including an embarrassing semi-final loss that I was Thrown out of.  I was like the Brian Mahoney of the center I took a winning program as he did at St. Johns and destroyed  it.  The reason for my failures I believe that not that my players weren't good enough, They weren't motivated. We Cut down Nets for practice, we practice in the dark, had Renowned coaches come run practice, all unsuccessful. The reason I bring this up is That a lot of people have been critical of me for criticizing other coaches,  lecturing me with the usual "what have you done"? my reply is that i feel like i have studied, watched, read, observed and remembered a lot where i am entitled and earned  an opinion. Always remember Opinions are like A$$holes everyone has them. With that said Their was an inquiry of interest at a possible job opening, Flattered at even being considered, I have thought about it and realize that unlike Ray " it's not my job to motivate at this level" Handley should it be available i will probably respectfully decline...... From the AP  The reason MD didn't show up in their Quarter Final loss? The Answer Scottie Pippen Game 7 1990 Eastern conference Finals......

The Haftorah

  of the Week "Machar Ha Chodesh " always reminds me of the great NBC Sports anchor Bruce Beck  who was so eager  to cover The Story of Israels windsurfer  Gal Friedman winning the Gold medal in Athens in 2004, resorted to Recite his Haforah for Israeli Authorities to allow him in to the interview, it  was the only thing he remembered from His Judaism upbringing Machar Ha chodesh.......I was Happy to see the clock being pushed up an Hour, it was an hour less of being up at night for me....... The Gift of Giving, In Honor of EEE 40th and future 50th Birthdays A donation of Two Cheap breakfasts were in his name to the Shul, I did the same thing in honor of my Mom for Mothers day She wasn't amused...... Begin 21 years ago 030992....

The Whose Who

  of the  Community embarked at the EEE estate for a Wine and Cheese Gala .Sipping Champagne, Top Shelf Liquor, Hoer Dover's and some casino gambling. Props are due to the Mrs EEE  it was Elegant and extraordinaire extraordinaire . A manageable Twenty Eight minutes later I was Home Mazal Tov EEE as they say Able 120 Lbs........Great News Adam Cezy Shapiro who arrived in Israel so that his wife can give birth in Israel , Has been banned for another 10 Years, Shapiro an American Jew came to infamy by being  holed up in the Mukkatta with the murder Yasser Arafat in 2002 operation Defense shield.  Now he can't be with his Palestinian wife when his kid is Born Ironically In Israel Heartbreaking Waaaa.......Apology to Truck for causing him any hurt, harm or injustice. It was misunderstood not Alan Iverson Misunderstood I did NOT call him Ray Handley or a Monkey I was saying even those guys would win with the talent he had......

" This Day the Lord Has made,

   We shall Rejoice and Regal in it". This was the sentiment of one reveling at the loss of the heavily favored MD team in the Worst league in America Basketball Playoffs. I don't really care, but was happy for former coach Truck "Dinkins, Mubarak" Dweck  on his greatest and most satisfying victory ever, Just like 72 Dolphins he can uncork the champagne and still be the only coach to win a championship at MD. He Won Twice, But in all honesty Ray Handley or a Monkey would have won with those teams, non the less he won........ After unceremoniously dumping Coach JP in mid season after a slow 2- 3 start   The JV Basketball team at MD Rebounded to win  10% of their games this season  That's 10 Percent not wins. Just to Note the JV league is like the SATs you automatically Get Four Free wins in the a conference that features perennial powerhouses like Beir hagolah,  Beit Hashoeva , Etz Chayim and Some sort of Torah School.......The Pre Passover Practice is getting a little bit challenging none the less I Hope to be prepared..........Glenn Beck is scaring the Bajesus out of me, by predicting the stock market Apocalypse , I did next the most logical thing I can think of and called my investment specialist Utep and Shreemesh Thapa from Nepal and they both advised to Cash Out. With the Proceeds I can make an appointment to See Ashley Dupree and have a few shekels left for some Kosher delight.

Doversyai, No Proveryai?

         With My Insomnia hitting Week #2 the Good news is at least I am learning.The Russian Proverb of course Means " Trust but Verify" Used a lot by President Reagan when dealing with Gorbachev. Lenin Authored it........... Thanks to reader JP for pointing out that Gonzaga is the first mid major team since UNLV in March of 92 to be ranked #1 in the AP poll.......With Passover coming I have begun my customary practice of preparing and have started eating Matzoh, so far so good.......The Function i am slated to attend is the Birthday party of the great EEE #40 it was supposed to be a surprise but he found out ( not from me) unfortunately it will not be at  Rick's gentleman's club but at the EEE estates, I will be attending Sans-culotte.......Will The Israeli Team Maccabe TA Thursday night  get the same Reception as the last Israeli Team to Play at the Islamic Republic of Turkey In case you forgot here's the frightening scene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUVczbFQIWo  for those not understanding the chant "Death to Israel ".......

Unmitigated

  circumstances one again  have forced the closure of  FB only to reopen under my Alias.  I copied all my Likes and am happy to say i have 0.0 Friends, I can finally win the lottery in Peace and will be glad to share with my friends Also I am glad not to read all the posts from People who "cant" and are in just Sooo distraught over the Tragedy of the young couple in Williamsberg, and then posting all kinds of happy photos and statuses right after......Not exactly thrilled to be attending a function later this week, The People are great however the situation is not, I'll go with friends and blame them for leaving early..........03-06-08 Five Years to the Purim Massacre at Mercaz Harav Yeshiva 8 students of the Religious Zionist School founded by Rav Kook were Killed, I remember PeaceNow Activists protesting the Bulldozing of the terrorist's home.....Interesting or maybe not so interesting Rav Kook Wanted to change The Zionist Anthem of Hatikivah  to The Emunah believing  Hatikvah was to secular.....According to Schedule Rockets Should Restart Being fired towards Southern Israel just about hmmm Now.Would make March a Three- peat for Rocket fire.......

When Hit Squads,

Assemble on foreign Soil for a mission, Before anything they Set up what they Call are "Safe Houses", Several Hideouts until they can plan out their escape. It is roughly 1.4 Miles from My parents home to my Apt, and every Friday night before I walk home I plan out my Route Should #2 or heavens Forbid #3 arises. It is a very precarious situation as  my "Safe House" locations are not secured.  This Past Friday night I got caught up roughly 8 blocks into my walk, with the grace of G0d I made it back to my parents, The reason this Happened EEE. Prior to his Half Marathon on the Bus to the Race venue he had to go and was forced to use a Porter Potty, I couldn't help but laugh and G0d Knew it was to late to take it back, Fortunately both story's have a Happy Ending perhaps Some skid Marks but non the less a Sabbath Miracle...... The Book of  Ettiquetes's has a whole Section on Proper Bathroom decorum .....Midas well try and catch the wind this time I think i really Screwed up........

If Oppprtunity,

  Doesn't Knock, Then  build a door The great Will Rogers once Said...... The Streak is still in tact, My Tefilin Checked out good.......RIP Mrs Romano from One Day at a Time, That is Until I read DebbieSchlussel.com Apparently Mrs Romano was a Vile ultra liberal Feminist. and proud member of NOW( natl organization for ugly Woman) She was Jewish By name also........Once again the Great Debate on Basketball looms  Did Defense Get Better or Shot Selection Worse?...... My Plan is to become the Rabbi Akiva of Piano except I have a few months, and Chariots of Fire on him, I think I'm gonna get lessons rather than Memorize.......I Am Excellent By The Way, Their is always light at the end of the Tunnel, When one has trouble sleeping at night, my light is the ministries that preach to you at 4:00 Am. These Preachers are terrific, But i do wish i can get my hands on my Homeopathic Sleep Medicine.......