It makes me

 Happy that i can Still say that for 7th time Since the founding of this blog, their will be a trip to the Eternal and indivisible capital of the Jewish People. The trip is honor of my nephews Bar mitzvah and is sponsored by 140,126 Amex Points, for Middle class coach Seats.......Piety or Chutzpah for a Cantor to finish 323 seconds after me at Eighteen Blessing's at Evening services at the Sitt Shul? Out of the 19 Other petitioners all were done and majority were finished at the 250 second mark..... The Harvey pollack of shul ......Speaking of Stats the Great EEE bested his own record for a half marathon in the short shorts, itchy a$$ runners division  by one minute his time 157 minutes.Apparently he took to my toilet advice as much as I have taken his woman advice. Making number two at a porter potty after 40 people were ahead of you is not fun, he couldn't even read the daily news.......A Somewhat Serious Conversation with OG regarding our status, Comfort is a somewhat of an Issue that needs to be ironed out. The proximity, and  the fact that things will need to change should we pursue things further are probably the most relevant issues Win lose or draw will square it out Saturday night.................

A Disgusting

  Display of Gamesmanship, Sportsmanship, TschakaShip. Through out my lifetime I have had some very embarrassing moments playing basketball. From the Chair tossing OK throwing  incident, of course the broken Trophy's, Fights, Ejections and taking my ball home, and regular ejections. But Never Ever ( i am allowed to use the word) have I seen a Referee taking so  much abuse from Players and mediocre players non the less to a point where the referee snaps and is justifiable in fighting. From the old Bob Melina handbook "as long as you  don't get personal it's OK " another Words That was the worst F%$#ing call acceptable " F$#uk you Bob that was the worst F%$#ing call" Technical. To witness the level of profanity, abuse, humiliation, degradation, denigration, etc etc hurled at an official, whose no doubt doing his job and doing his best and even if you disagree with him to vociferously attack him with vengeance and hate Shame on you, and shame on us for even allowing something like this to happen. No Human being should have to  endure this kind of abuse. As I watched the Official Drive off, I lamented the fact that he didn't knock out the Belligerents, or maybe one of us should have.

With The Purim

     Holiday Approaching the once Nascent relationship with OG  is slowly becoming ephemeral. Generally Speaking I lose Steam in Dates or relationship when I don't feel excitement from the Girls side, I don't doubt she enjoys our time together as I do,and love the fact that she appreciates my idiosyncrasies but everything seems to scripted, throw in the Traffic and travel to Tehran West the Enthusiasm is not where it should be......The  imposed retierement of the all time winningest ( and losingest) coach of YU has made for a great debate on Whty the school would lay the ax down on the longtime coach. Former Captain AL cried out an injustice has been made, as the Yeshiva program  is more ceremonial and not about wins and losses ( he was 53-102 in his last 10 seasons) " he's coaching Yeshiva League players...." applauding his good nature and alluding that the next coach would not provide more than Two Extra wins a season, a link to his op-ed would be provided as soon as its up.......Would you invest money with a good friends brother if the friend replied  " Peace and love, M.... I wont get involved "

DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN ???

        The  Headlines Screamed  HAFTR Defeats YDE, All the experts had Haftr inked into the next round, but someone forgot to tell  that to coach DM and his players. Playing a suffocating style Two Three Zone  That resembled  Syracuse, YDE was able to throw a curve to the Experts and Cruise by the Yeshiva Powerhouse. Ironically #1 Ranked Syracuse lost on the Same night, ohh and Truman went on to Serve Four More Years...The Stand and Deliver Miracle continues..... Is it ethical to cheat on Weights of boxes you ship UPS? IHH of the holy  Shloo rabbinical Dynasty said it is permissible as long as you remove the Yarmulke.........

 

Geneva1, Geneva2

 
both yielded 0.0 resolutions for the civil war in Syrian and proved to be fruitless........Wanting to do things right the Second time around with BG (bubbly girl) I steered clear from any excess frivolous texts or jokes and only text her 3 minutes prior to picking her up. Eight minutes later she came outside and not a word of Geneva1 or prior misunderstandings was spoken. Weather was the Hot topic for a while, but it got really depressing, and we started mixing it up with Olympics, Her Work, Her Friends, Her Hobbies, her Religious level, her Family Her Etc.... On occasion I would attempt to relate something about myself, attempt a joke, and had to crowbar in the fact that some A##hole bought Yves Claude Laurent chair for Two Million big ones. I never realized how disintresting i was, In Over 5 Hours of  Geneva1 and Geneva2 not one question about myself; what i do, where i was born, Hobbies etc..... A lot of Birthdays at the establishment,which added excitement, except for the fact that it annoyed me a lil that in every group their is always one person who is over the top singing and yelling the song, I reckon enthusiasm is good... The conversation shifted back to the always safe topic of Weather, with a mix up Bathroom Etiquette, Potholes and OCD.  What I learned was not to drive in the right lanes on Ocean Parkway, Their are a lot of  potholes. No COS or Geneava3.....

The

    Sephlink called. " Whatever Happened with BG? Would you go out with her again"? "Sure, but i left her a message about a month ago that perhaps she didn't get". A few minutes later she text me the Number please call. To Refresh: Me and BG Went out after a couple months ago after playing phone or text tag for about a month. We finally got together, and things went real well from my perspective at least. Not thinking she was too receptive to my texts ( which was bad strategy the Munster plan turned out to be right) momentum was lost and it was one and done. We spoke again Briefly and Beyond her long Yeah's it was a little difficult to build on the conversation  it was a little tenses, but non the less Church on Sunday was rescheduled to Sunday due to in-climate weather. The Moral of the story  is not to buy a $330 Creed Cologne for a girl that has fragrance Allergies........of course it is a little uncomfortable to go out with Two girls at a similar time, but can't be considered double dipping, because one situation was certain to be over.....Interesting Article from Fifth column Israeli newspaper Haaretz regrading the Moshaich clause - Renters are renting apartments in Jerusalem and have FIFTEEN DAYS to leave upon the Arrival of Moshaich  Ya gotta Believe.....

Dreams do Come True

             I have been  having erotic dreams about shoveling well not erotic the embellishment of the dream makes it sound better, and all my dreams have been coming more true Than I ever imagined. The last time I was having Shoveling dreams was the blizzard of 2010.......  Me and OG did not win the Lotto, but their is a good chance will be getting together. After Two dates, I didn't think Either of us owed the other any explanation, but after stopping to reach out, deeming the effort wasteful and concurring no one gets hurt, The Question loomed  Why give up on something that was going well or at least you thought was going well we spoke about the Misunderstanding, and ironed out the ambiguity, But before we did that........ TO BE Continued

" It Happens"

  Sometimes when Milk Spills, Stepping in Number Two Perhaps!, or Even airlines Losing you're Valises. Missing Lay up's from point blank range up One with 29 Seconds mmmm That should never happen; but it did off a dribble penetration Mooch found me under the basket wide open on the left side, being in  that situation Thousands of times, I Blew it. I felt like a Kicker missing an Extra Point to win a game or a Hockey player missing an open net. A Questionable Shooting foul call on the other end resulted in them going up one and when our last second attempt fell short it, hopes for redemption were re-leaved  by shame and Humiliation.......

61?

Of course has the significance of being the real MLB home run record, and  now the Number  is also infamous for a record breaking foul calls in the Sunday morning basketball at the SCC. Having the misfortune of not only being a participant, but also a contributor to the 61 foul calls in the Seventeen Point (two's and Threes) game,  In which the foul calls bested the baskets made by a 4-1 clip. My contribution  paralleled Former Notra Dame great Bill Hanzliks in the Highest scoring NBA Game a 186-184 Detroit victory over Denver at McNichols arena in Dec 1983. Hanzlik Had Two Points..........

Headline of the week

פשוט ווינר: המאת'ר פאקר שבלעדיו מכבי תל אביב לא הייתה מאבדת את האליפות בשנה שעברה

Israeli news outlet Walla headline - " simply a winner: the mother F#%cekr that with out him Macabe Tel Aviv wouldn't have the lost the state cup last year" - referring to former USC star David Blunethal.......

         The worst thing about the snow storm is when it turned to ice it left a lot of  pile ups, and  not shoveled areas that forces one to walk in the same path's of people, rather than being able to walk around them or cross the streets to avoid them; Spuriously i nod and say hello; in all fairness, i think a lot of people do the same.....Mooch Advised to friend RRPG ( really really pretty girl)  should i message my new friend?. History has not been kind thus far...... Good Luck to the Great EEE in his upcoming Disney marathon, He shattered the record for Fastest time by a Short shorts wearing, Itchy Ass ( due to his not being able to wipe properly at the porter potty) Runner. I have provided him with several Number Two tips Should the Situation repeats itself , I pray that it doesn't ... Barring a Miraculous Lotto win, I will probably never run into OG. After Two outings to Tehran west, It seem's that I failed to impress, apparently She was looking  more for in a guy besides not being an A$$hole, though i'm glad that i am not one .We exchanged Some ambiguous Texts, but pretty sure were on the same page regarding where were headed... At least no one gets hurt........

The Rule at the Poker

  Table is, that if you can't spot the pigeon with in the first Two minutes of the game, than the Pigeon is in all likelihood you......Heading out to Great Neck, Navigation provided me with the Sunni or Shiite Route. The BQE was Jammed and I chose Sunni and headed towards the Pot Holed Laced Belt parkway. She was Sympathetic and understanding to my either 15- 23 minute tardiness. Our conversations continued with out any awkwardness. She looked good and smelled good of which I made sure to let her know. Hopeful she would Smell my Five Sprays of the $330 CREED cologne Mooch lent me at the discounted rate of .50 per spray, it went by Unscented. She really liked my food order Selections and wasn't shy to let me know, A Compliment?. The Conversations turned to the more serious nature of Relationships, Exes, and love of which I wasn't the best at articulating. The Persians very much like the Syrians frown on weather to take the Free 59th Street bridge or the Mid town Tunnel. She insisted on the Scenic route and with our  $7 Savings  we Decided to split Lotto tickets. How romantic, well not really but we did go number for number. Hoping for the Soccer style post 90th Minute Extra time with her in the car, She bolted for the door as soon as I pulled up to her house, Jumping out to escort her to the door through  not the best shoveled walk way I bid her a get home safe that left  wondering  if " I was the Pigeon " and headed towards the Sunni route home... C.O.S.........

Saying John Kerry,

  is a fair Arbitrator when the Mrs THKK( Teresa Heinz Ketchup Kerry) donates Millions to oxfam is like Bernard maddoff telling the SEC nothing here to see......Really looking forward to see OG toight, We have been speaking over the course of the last few days, and Thanks to some invaluable cologne advice from the Mooch it should go great...Mooch is selling me 4 Creed Cologne sprays for .50 a spray, he suggests in order not to be like the Shamies spray each side of you're neck once from roughly 10 inches away that way it spreads then spray one spray on each hand and rub it together on both sides of the face a Fifth spray is optional to put on the clothes and 40 Minutes before I pick her up, That means I will have to do it on the way- " under no circumstances make sure she doesn't see it ".........

The Day the Music

 Died 55 years later........The  Munster "NO text girls you' really like for a second date rule" was  in effect and I planned on calling OG Monday night, till she text me a snow reference in the Afternoon , Long story short after a nice conversation Their will be Church on Sunday..........I't made me especially curios what kind of music my neighbors on the treadmill were listening to?.......It Saddned me going  nuts on a metrocard machine at the P F train Station - The Touch screen was slow, I kept hitting the wrong amounts, The machine was rejecting my Money and I was cursing and punching the machine, Looking like i belonged in Bellvue. Reflecting after missing the Train, I just got left the station and went back to my office......

Going

   Over  final preparations and details for my date with OG. My Breath and Body smelled good, No traces of heartburn, clean shaven, went number Two to avoid any potential disasters, covered up my receding hairline to the best of my abilities, Listened to Javad Music, and cleverly got her some Generic Atkins M+M's. With great enthusiasm i trekked out for the 26 mile ride Great Neck. Naturally I was early and  Our contiguous email exchanges. spilled over to live conversation as their was a lot of levity, a lot of Banter, and a lot of  getting to know each other. The Conversation continued through out dinner, and she dropped the Bomb when She said " She didn't care about looks". Holy$H#t  I smelled trouble, cause that means she does. The Fun continued as we secretly picked out each other's Deseret  How romantic Blablabla.  We left on her Que, and i Got to hear some of her Music on the way home. She was explaining directions for me for the way home,but found it hard to concentrate, She was thoroughly impressive. Walking her to her Steps, I waited for the "Get Home safe" or " Text me when you get in", only upon not hearing it, I sheepishly wished her that , She half smiled at me  and good night and i headed home somewhat disappointed....... Church on Sunday hmmm......

   

  

Wishing

   My Black readers a Happy and meaningful Black History Month.......... A religious Jewish young man was assuring a pretty gentile young woman that she can trust him into going upstairs to his apartment to turn on the light for him on the only Sabbath - WTf is she nuts??........ I think I would make a Good Persian as I don't ever wear ties or even know how to make them........Statement of Regret, but no apology to former Friend Mooch for overreacting to what i perceived to be his Insolence, for printing out correspondences from my profile...... With The Jewish Month of ADAR opening, what better and more fitting to welcome it in by Going to the Town of Great Neck to take out OG( optometrestic girl) She's Persian..............