Number2

 is like going to war. Now Before this starts this is a total parity and I would never disparage anyone who has served and been through War and conflict. Nothing Terrifies me more than Number2, Especially on foreign Soil. Enjoy or Vomit..........

 1) Unlike War You would always want to fight the fight on your own home Soil 

 2)  Before going The Situation must be assessed As to what kind of Conflict or number2  it will be, preparations must be made for a Constipated Style, Diarrhea, or any other style #2 

3) Try to Assess the terrain , You will be Should conflict arise, i.e Restaurants, Bars, Hotels, other people's homes 

4) The Splat hitting signifies the start of the conflict, and the initial courtesy flush is critical, it's the Air force coming in to deliver the first blow to clear up the Terrain

5)  The Toilet Paper is often compared to the Infantry coming in to wipe out the Enemy, and generally the most difficult part of the Operation 

6) The Wipes come in to complete clean up the area and make sure their are no skid marks and remnants  those are the special forces that clean up any last pockets of resistance 

6A) Utilizing an additonal  flush or Two to make sure everything went down ok, it's the Airforce combing the area dealing an additonal blow 

7) And finally the toilet paper again to do the final inspection and Patrol to make sure the whole area is clean 

A Good Guest

 According to my Definition is " One who Never Shows up, but always sends a gift"...... with the upcoming Nuptials in August. The Well thought out decision was made to Announce, rather than invite, Adapting the "Bris Protocol". That way, You can Choose to attend rather than feel Obliged. The Stress and Hassle that it takes to make an Event, Should Require a Choice, after all it is About the People and this is the" People's Wedding"....No Invitations will be send, As all Am Ysrael is invited....Gifts are NOT a requirement, or one can donate to a Charity of their Choice.. Give You're conscience............It is a little troubling as to why a small 6 oz can and a large 2 liter Soft drink bottle would Merit the same .5 cents  recycling redemption .............T O P  L E S S is approaching 500,000 views on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0uOLggb21M&t=297s.............. Another Shameless Plug...........

The Proposal!

 Cliff Notes Version:

         A Cheque shirt She hated, Bodega Flowers, and a dust riddled windbreaker are not exactly a formula for a Romantic Proposal at an Upscale Madison ave Hotel Restaurant. Suspicious but unsuspecting, we made some small talk on the short walk to the Establishment. Having been at the Mark Hotel Bar, before for a Meet and Greet Date, Of which the highlight was us exchanging Line for Line of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah, I won of course. It didn't occur to me, that this night would be different from most nights, until looking at the prices of the Dinner menu. Despite not having concrete Plans, I was confident it can be pulled off, and once our Waitress Showed up to take our order, My confidence Soared.  She was Saucy, Fiery, Friendly, Playful, and had this certain spunk and Chutzpa That was engaging and Jollily. Watching us bicker, She Accused us of being this old Married Couple, Once WBG showed her empty hand, She plopped at me and asked " What the hell is the matter with you, Put a Ring on it",  My Smile Froze and I knew that the element of surprised was missed. The Night continued with us Drinking a little more than usual, and playing this Loaded Question and Answer game. Excusing herself, her tone Shifted from Playful to Disappointment as she was certain nothing was going to happen.  With her at the Ladies room, I was Hopeful for a long trip, My eyes were gazing for our Waitress, only she was no where to be found. When She Returned their was no Waitress and no Plan. Sweating a little, I made my way to the restroom only to sneak back the other way to finally meet up with our waitress. Astonished to see the ring, She seemed more excited than me, I handed her the customized  " Will you marry  me"  M+M's , of course we didn't have any meat so there would be no contraindications with G0d, except maybe that the place wasn't exactly Kosher. Exuding confidence, The Plan was in place. Returning back from the " Restroom", Our conversation got heated, With her Showering me with profanity at her Disappointment and Sadness with me. She blurted out " What the Hell did you order Champagne for"? I smiled and said i was in the mood, Seconds later with a crowd from the restaurant behind her, She showed up with the chocolate cake desert, the M+M's Spelling out the will you marry me, and of course the RING, Astounded and confused, She Paused, not realizing,, I don't think she even saw me, hunched over Asking for her hand, The crowd awaited her Answer................. it took a few long Seconds but she did Say Yes....... The Crowd went wild, and everyone was especially kind with the Well Wishes. The MVP of the night was with out a doubt our outstanding waitress of which we rewarded her somewhat Handsomely. Not exactly Movies material, but not too Shabby Either..........