ZIonist Jury Duty Conference..

 The Highlights for me.......
   One would think by the way Former PM Ehud Olmert was speaking, That Israel Resurrected and rebuild the Third Temple under his Tenure, he was arrogant as Usual and received Raucous boos, Had he been speaking at a Reform Temple he would have been met with Wild Cheers....... While on line to pass Security I ran into disgraced former city comptroller Alan Hevesi, we spoke cordially while waiting to pass.........I got a chance to send Warm Regards from my Sister in Law to Rona Ramon, who returned them in kind.  Ilan Ramon Asked how does on Observe Sabbath in Space?   when Every 90 Minutes is another Sunset  , Every 10 and half hours is a Sabbath,  and  every 20 days is  Rosh Hashana. Jerusalem we have a problem.... Other Notables were former Mossad Chief Meir Dagan who lost a lot of weight but recommended we don't use his Diet, he did remember me from Last year also... Amos Yadlin former head of Aman and Air force general, I asked him if the story was true that on the way back from Bombing Iraq, They radioed to one another the Famous Biblical phrase from Joshua "Sun in Gibon hold, and the Moon in Ayalon Valley" He said heard the myth but absolutely not true......... Alan Dershowitz and Jpost Columnist Caroline Glick got into it and Dershowitz once again excoriated us for Booing, and told us " we don't represent American Jews who voted 72% for Obama and fortunately you speak for yourselves and no one is listening".. Funny at lunch he didn't seem that angry, he was posing for photos, DM told me to speak to him about hoops and he mentioned that he always sucked.....Ambassador Oren spoke Mainly on the Significance of Obama's visit, and embellished how great it was...... The MVP of the event Caroline Glick, a champion of the settlements and right wing, She spoke of the audacity of US Jews to honour Israeli Bashers like Jummah Carter and Roger Walters.... What i got out of this conference a really nice Umbrella from one of the sponsors.........

What is?

  To eat Nachos of course. My trip to LI ended me with pigging out on Nachos and club Soda, the Woman was real sweet and even said I had great hair and that i  was a good dresser that's a sure sign she liked me despite the fun conversation the only spark was in my pants and that's where it stayed,........Who calls a girl for a first date on Friday at 500 Pm? I thought it odd, the girl that I called thought it odder. Confirming that I was just following orders ( I hate that excuse it's the Eichman excuse ) she was relieved that it wasn't my idea, and we did get to speak about it for a few minutes to break the ice, I asked some medicated Pete style questions, and no she's not a vegetarian,  nor is she politically affiliated. Her interests varied;  Tuesday Night is showtime .......Its hard to believe how many people expressed interest in Zionist Jury duty conference, I turned away over 280 FB friends and Instagram followers plus friends of friends of friends, I will try to upgrade my ticket to VIP rather than have to decide who to take........

Foolishly,

     I purchased not one but two tickets to the JPOST Zionist jury duty conference at the cost of $189 per I have been turning people down left and right for the extra ticket, so if anyone wants to go please speak now or.......Three girls, I am supposed to call in all likelihood Three Strikes. Why the negativity ? Well One is through my sister, who has a shopping helper where she shops and this shopping helper has a friend whose interested, She may think I am rich, judging on the clothes my sister buys. Strike Two is Back to "PF" girl whom I don't feel like their will be any Spark, But Mrs NR is on my case and I did agree to call. "Pacta Sundt Servanda" - agreements must be honored. Strike Three will have to wait till Friday as the Sephlink choice of Fish for me is available now, is she to religious for me ? Skirts but please try!! .......Why would someone agree to go to LI and meet an early 40s Something woman?........To Be Continued.....

The Only thing worse,

  Than walking home on a Friday night having to go #2 is also stepping in it......."I haven't seen this many F&%ing  yarmulkes since the last time I was in shul 10 years ago"..AM at the downtown courthouse at a trial setting date .....JD informed  me of the reason HH (Hacham Hillel) is so adamant about not singing the "Uva Letzion"  is according to Historians the Jews of Syria used to sing it to false prophet Shabati Tzvi in the 18th century"......... "In The shadow of the gallows", 66 Years to the Heroism of Meir Fienstien and Moshe Barzani........The Boston Celtics had more Fourth Corner Turnovers than Field goals, the last time i hear of something like that happening was in Yeshiva Basketball. The screen and get a switch for Paul Pierce and everyone else stand around offense may have worked 10 Years ago..........

Should Grocery Bagging,

     be relegated exclusively to the cashier? While waiting on what seems like a forever  line at a local supermarket, I noticed the Customer Just standing their and watching the cashier pack his mammoth order.  Politely I asked if their was a "No packing Policy at the store" which their isn't, So why wouldn't the person whose ethnicity rhymes with  Baradi not help expedite the line?........I think I am slowly realizing I'm in the wrong Business the reason for this Epiphany? I am dealing with An Egyptian Sam, Indian Sam, Yeminite Boaz, David the Banana, An Ali or Fuad or Mike ( he changes names every day) and Jackie International; Perhaps I am the crazy one....... Having Dinner with a couple of really wealthy acquaintances can be a little intimidating, I do a lot of listening,  if any consolation i was the best dressed out of all of us, and that's not saying much......Waiting on calling PF girl...........

A lil Creepy,

       I think Jdate and Sephlink are in cahoots on  jdate their is a Secret Admirer button where they send you five girls and at least of them is a Secret admirer. I got a Sardines, Grieven a Chulent and a couple of Goulashes Holy Crap this is getting weird........... Looks like I will be calling Plantar facitis girl for those who don't remember she developed this mysterious  ailment on the day we were supposed to go out a couple of years, My cousin was insist, but  I waited to get the blessing of NR "cute girl and sweet. and she probably wouldn't throw the desert plate back at you. yeah i would go for it. Whats to lose? Dinner?"  Can't wait for the the 11 Minute riveting and root canal style conversation....... A Jdate girl Emailed me  we spoke for a little. On her profile it describes her physique as modelisque ;Terminal inexactitude  She left out Prefix Plus Size Modelisque I don't mind the cushion for the Pushin or junk in the trunk though........I may have been sounding mean in the last couple posts but I think just as girls are entitled to reject based on my photos (and it's happened a lot) I am entitled to do the same and mutually it should not be taken personally.......and for the record my food metaphors to describe girls are only that no crazy meanings......

FISH OR CHICKEN ?

         Judging by the girls that they "picked out " for me I forgot How in such high regard the seph link held me  kind of like asking me Would I prefer the chicken or fish only in this instance my choices are Sardines or Grievin ( fried chicken skin as NR noted its a heart attack on a stick) I chose Sardines, only to be informed that Sardines has a prior engagement I'll starve for now Thank you.......

Thirty Years ago,

        in Munich Germany, The Beautiful Israeli Singer of Yemenite Origin ( not only people  like Boaz come from yemen)  Ofra Haza took center stage and proudly Sang to the world at Eurovision  "Chai"- Alive "Am Ysrael Chai "The Nation of Israel Lives", to a rousing ovation. In her words "I simply wanted to give pride to the nation when ill be there and sing out to the  world "Am Ysrael Chai" we are here on the map and we are here to stay". As Zionists Israelis celebrate it's 65th birthday makes me wonder if a moment like that will ever come again. She came in Second..........In the Zionist Prayer book I purchased in Hebron (Ashkenaz edition) They make a lot of additions, but was surprised to see they Exclude "Yaale Ve Yavo" Hallel is recited fully with a blessing. Makes me wonder if Harav Shlomo Goren would have approved. Not being of the very religious nature makes me indifferent to how prayers are conducted , but tend to side with the old timers that claim that adding prayers can set up a bad precedent.... I pass  on any celebrations not as a protest of the NEW ISRAEL, but more so to the fact that Just as I go to Israel, I don't feel at Home, The Celebrations Belong to the Zionists and contributors, Some compare it to Jumping on the Bandwagon, Suddenly becoming a Miami Heat fan overnight, With out remembering the 15 win seasons and guys like Ronny Siekly Sylvester Gray, John Shasky and the Alan Ogg melach habashan.......

Personality Counts?

  Huh, I always thought it was the equivalent to the whipped cream on a cake, after Money and looks, But Lilith has was adamant and it's reflective of my Profile, cause it sure hell's can't be my photos and for sure not the Money...... The phone tag with the 40 year old girl from the W Bush administration is going nowhere, a 30 something Israeli girl from the town of Rishpon wondering if i ever get to Israel, Shes pretty by the way. The 33 year Persian who emailed me back seventeen days later a line, or How about Tall blonde 35 year old Reform girl pretty whose email are staler than Passover potato chips. Let's not forgot the Girls from the Eastern Block one very pretty, one not so, and one who looks like she gives good massages they all have a kid all aged 38. The Israeli girl from the Sunshine state with 2 kids, The Bukharin girl whom i never called back, and a bunch of unopened Emails, I must confess even though this is clearly a man's world as Howard stern pointed it out citing that if you can be a miner in Chile and have both a wife and mistress. My confidence is soaring.....

If I were,

 A baseball Player, Clearly Being the Closer would not be my Job on the team. After dropping off RGGSR (religious girl gone semi rogue) last night, I knew it was over from my end at least, and pretty certain from her's, According to the Survey Their should be a some sort of final communication text stating something along the lines like " You're really terrific and all but were in different Planets or something like that" and the Spurious all the best. Not that I am the dumper or the dumpee I have realized that, I "Chicken" out when it comes to closing up situations such as these and let things to ephemeral. One thing I will miss about RGGSR  is  the crow barring My favorite Yiddish words and phrases " Kish in touchis and Run"........ Thus far my Memory is the my greatest attribute, I emailed a girl on line that we went out during the end of the W Bush Administration she was impressed i remembered the intricacies  of our date, Sounds a lot better than it went and unfortunately didn't go there Church on Sunday during Obama 2?........

Pretty sure what,

Me and RGGSR have in common is pretty much Nothing. We Went to play Bowling at Chelsea Piers and according to Scores Man it was about having Fun, and it was. We split two games, But in the second game i spotted her about 20 feet before the line and She pipped me out on her last spin 86-85.  Their was Some good banter and she's a lot of fun, she even danced a little, I'm no choreographer but looked kind of odd. Her extreme extroversion does not really match my personality, and will leave it that. Funny that my Cousin Mrs R, has been hounding me to take out a girl that I was supposed to go out with a couple of years ago, But she got Plantar fasciitis that night...... I'm holding the line...... for now. No Church on Sunday...........

Why would

       someone buy salad dressing with out ever eating salad....... Will  I get back my Five Hundred dollars from the Israeli girl who stiffed me and then moved back to Israel or  will Munster get a Wedding present  valued at $401 from his cousin Abdo ? The winner gets to assume the loser's debt... The Five hundred dollar question of course is why would Someone lend her the Money? The Answer To be continued........ I find it odd that Roughly 50% of Israeli Citizens Do not celebrate their Independence Day. The Twenty percent Arabs who Mourn the day, The Twenty Percent Haradeim who Are indifferent to the state and roughly 10% left wing anarchists whom side with the Arabs. Happy Zionists Independence day....... This year To Avoid the controversy of Either Saying Hallel or Yehi Shem or whatever Extra's they add for the Zionist Day, I'm going to take the Chilonim Route Controversy averted....

" THE LORD,

 Must have loved ordinary people, cause he made so many us....... But Every single day in every walk of life ordinary people do EXTRA ordinary things,ordinary people accomplish EXTRA ordinary things ".... The Late great Jimmy Valvano quoting the words of the Rev Bob Richards the Olympic great who was the first to be on the box of Wheaties...... Due to Passover2  and her birthday  and After a week of Trivial Tex ting RGGSR were finally able to get together. It was amusing to hear some of the other Syrian guys she has gone out, notably one who texts her late at night and claims to be 10 years younger not only in his real life but also on his profile. I confess it was fun, and fun to get out, she was as always vivacious, personable, and looked pretty hot. I am not sure how much we had in common, to sustain a relationship but I felt some chemistry despite our different personalities. On line emails are still coming, but I have really stopped entertaining them, they require time, effort, an slim chances of ..........  The Parking ticket finally came, but it was in the city and due to the fact that 3 meter machines were not working, I hurled every profane word in every language i knew at the Meter Maid, she asked me what languages i was using, she had starting writing the ticket, but was understanding, with Blood and Fire I will fall before forking over $65 big ones to the flat foots......

I Can't Say

     I condone Mike Rice The former Head coach of Rutgers behavior of Using Slurs and throwing Balls at his Players, But i can relate to his affinity for the game. At MD we have a similar coach MW who constantly berated us, threw every name at the book at us, Beat on us, Even to a point of holding up a kid by his shirt and slapping him several times Mocking him that he was going to get him fired, Shoving a kid down giving him a concussion and Threatening us that if his father asked what happened the story was " He Fell ". Fortunately for me I didn't go through any of those incidents, but did not escape my Fair share of abuse, Being the most rotund kid on the team, I was tortured into having to guard the quickest player on the court, and when i raised my hand to come out of the game, I got the Middle finger back at me . My Most vivid memory was when  He Chucked a Ball at me in the Middle of a Game, Missing my head and hitting me in the shoulder, When the Ref told him it was poor, He excoriated him and told him it was "Poor F#@*ng Aim," and that he should have hit me in the head, Needless to say he was relieved of his duties late in the season  after getting thrown out of a Game, In which he almost fist fought with the Ref , who reported him to the league, My Mother our only adult fan that day coached the Second half, It was her last game she showed up to....HBD to the Great JJN, and to RGGSR( religious girl gone semi rogue)

Double Dipping ?

  ....Girl Gone Semi Rogue turned out to be a lot prettier than I thought and a lot different too. She wasn't from a Hasidic Background but more of an ultra Orthodox Mistaking her for Quiet and reserved her gigantic personality allowed the night to flow and she was genuinely interested. I told her about our Mutual Friend  perhaps dampening things, but a New Rule since Passover is over No more double dipping, Church on Sunday will be Saturday Night....Starting to sympathize with the Zionists, after Parading Around Gilad Shalit and going through all the heroic festivals for him,  The HERO, in recent unclassified IDF documents not only wasn't attentive to the briefings of the threats, but also panicked and essentially gave himself up with out firing a shot, Does anyone even know the names of his two comrades that were killed in the Kidnapping? Give him credit for at least not fabricating what happened......From on OCT 18 2011 Post In a Lose- Lose Situation the Israelis decided to Lose big time. I am Happy for the Shalit Family, But sad for Am Ysrael. Next on the Israeli Agenda is an Apology to Turkey, Lift the Gaza Blockade, Stop Building in Jerusalem and Divide it, and then clear up Judeah and Samaria. Then and only Then the world will love you........ not to say told you so But told you so.......

My Greatest Fears,

  Were realized tonight. While Being Hosted by the Rubin's for dinner  whom i must say couldn't be more gracious and have essentially turned me into family Emeritus.  The Need to go was dawning on me, going to my trusted Cyanide (Imodium) inconspicuously popping them while sipping  Diet coke, figuring it a few minutes it'd kick in. A few Minutes it kicked in just the other way  excusing myself to the restroom i made a sharp right down the stairs, and administerd and unprecedented TWO courtesy flushes, Heading upstairs after several minutes i explained to Mr Rubin that the need for proper Aim was unnecessary this time, he understood and promptly suggested that His home can be labeled a safe House for me in time of need.  With the evening ending, The Rush came again, too embarrassed to go for seconds or double dipping I detoured to my parents house a few blocks in the other direction, it  felt like hitting a mid court buzzer beater...... After 6 days I thought i was eliminated from  the OMER, but i got a last minute reprieve and am back in it Today is the ...........I can sleep again Duke and Indiana have been eliminated......Thinking again about putting a book together about SCC basketball, Me and DM were going to do 14 years ago, I started writing some But........