" As of Now,

  I am in Control HERE,....... 31 Years to the Assassination attempt on President Reagen- the shooter John Hinckley thought he'd impress Jodie Foster, A$$hole she's a lesbian,  he should have gotten the death penalty   .........DM Send me an article on the 90th Birthday celebration of Rabbi Hecht, which was attended by some religious figures of the Israeli Government, causing some controversy. The Rabbi of course was relived of his duties for his inflammatory and incendiary remarks, roughly one week before the Rabin Assassination, I posted the 2 minute interview on my FB Page. You can decide for yourself........Sitting with a friend at a local Restaurant, We started Yentering it up with two harediey  Married sisters originally From Brazil but now Living in Borough Park, I didn't get to ask all the questions I had, but we were able to chat freely, Here is their  story They were married with-in  6 Weeks of meeting,  Their pretty modern They watch Tv and Internet, I didn't get to discussing content But not really in the open. They were adamently aganist The "Devora Feldman or Peal Reich Stories", and also against the religious woman who resort to turning tricks to feed their kids. "Shkieyas Hachama" was also discussed, and that they were allowed to do Everything, during the two weeks when they are pure- Hey Look Out..... to be honest I found them somewhat attractive.......Aipac Girl situation kind of disintegrated, My agent said She can also text you if shes interested, I didn't feel it from her end, at least she wont feel bad.....To My loyal  Readers, I will be sharing a good amount of money with - should I hit the Mega Millions.............

The Walk of Shame,

 
   Well Not exactly the walk of shame but I tried avoiding make that  long walk to BB Girls Door, By texting her I am running two minutes late, Figuring she'll say ill be right out, I got the "DW NP" ... IT is a little uncomfortable, especially when you speak to someone for no more than Seven Minutes. I made it though- Conversation flowed, it was primarily Basketball, with a mix of politics, Photography ( even i can look good with photo shop), FB, and the center. The Restaurant pushed our reservation off for half hour, We went elsewhere the Hostess recognized and gave me a look, she saw me there with another girl last week. The Night Ended with the Usual Get Home Safe, and Church on Sunday Questionable at best.........Should Maccabee Tel Aviv Advance to the Eureo league FInal Four Next month, there is a good chance That I will go to the Peoples Islamic Republic of Turkiye for the games........

My Week,

   got off to a good start first An Email  From a " lovely" young lady (37) She writes "Black History is only obscure because of ignorant people like you. Save your racism for another site". Of course she's alluding to my profile (which was posted here) I am not upset at the allegation which of course is preposterous, I am upset at the fact that this  self righteous activist happens to be thoroughly unattractive. I was thinking of emailing her  with the "i have a lot of Black Friends and phone contacts argument",  but  decided that if i reply to her then the Terrorists win......In my Evening prayers Sunday night during the " Shema Kolenu" segment  I prayed  and G0d Listened  Another "lovely" young lady  whom i was scheduled to meet up with in the great borough of  Queens Sunday night texted me she's very sick, of course i didn't pray for her to be sick, only to cancel. One more to go I'll be sure to go to Shul Wednesday.....  In Accordance to "Mooseri" Economic Principles  it is OK to Play The Lotto, but only when the Jackpot exceeds a certain amount. The Theory was concocted by Poker Whiz Abe Mooseri,( ill post at another time ) regardless i am feeling Lucky...........

Why can't,

    Aipac girl ever call or text me first? I don't think she will but will wait until Tuesday to confirm that answer for sure.....For the Second Year in a row, One of the regional Finals overlapped into shul time. Last year, i missed shul to watch the end of the game and true to form G0d Punished me by making me go on a running treadmill and almost killing myself- No Such luck this time- Florida decided to Choke in Regulation This year instead of OT So i was only a couple minutes late......When are you considered on line at the bank? once you enter the Bank or once you are ready with you're transaction?  At TD Bank, A Middle aged Woman plops her bag on line and goes to fill out her deposit, I was there before her and was filling out my deposit Except i lost 3 spots on line and she gained Five. Shortly after  A woman with a baby came in,asked the first person on line only, if she can cut her, Of course Mrs Nice said yes but stayed in her same spot, where she should have gone all the way to the end of the line..Due to all the Infractions I have been receiving from the City I am Boycotting saying hello or have a nice day to any of the cops "Guarding" the bank.............

My Sister in law,

        also Scared the Badjesus out of me  so I Called Basketball Girl and told her I didn't want to interfere with karma, turns out her team lost anyways- Beyond me asking weather she prefers man or zone and  some vocational questions we should be getting together Wed night.....Last chance with Aipac Girl on the Menu an Indian Restaurant ( Kosher I promised Voodo Lady) I hope ill be OK I haven't made #2 yet today, and Probably Play Bowling....... Everything went Smooth With the Indian food, No Accidents, Just a little Gas which i got out of the way when i walked around the car, We skipped The bowling, She wasn't really up for it, though she did bring socks. Our conversation is Genetic , but fun , She's Seems Super guarded and The night usually ends with "Thanks I had a nice time" - and runs inside her building. She said she feels bad dumping people, which i can relate- but gave her an out, when asked if she'd like to go out again. she said sure .......A reader asks - If there were no Israel- What would Stop the Assad (Father) from Massacring the Jews of Syria? A leftists would answer the reason they were persecuted was because there is an Israel- I forgot the "History" of How Jews and Arabs Lived in Harmony,Thank G0d for Israel, the Bastard knew better......

The demographics

 of women emailing me as stated before is between the ages of 39- 52. A 39 year old woman Emailed me asking me to text her, pretty photos, a little tough profile, i did mention pretty photos - Here is what I texted her "very perverts photos btw, where in bklyn are u " took me 2 hours to realize I profusely apologized apparently the IPhone finished that word for me. She asked if i wanted to meet up, for a second time in my dating history I was late, in this instance Better Never than late would have been better. I waited outside for her and once she came out She and her mother were yelling at each other, it was foggy and dark and it was hard to tell who was who ( think Fran Dreschers voice with a accentuated Ashkenaz Accent, could have been worse with a syrian one and with a broom shoved up her)... We went somewhere local, she looked ok but her photos were much more better, Her voice was another story and she couldn't believe she was ordering VEGGGEEEZZ  at a David's style Restaurant. I loved her story about an Ex o taking her to a swingers club (48 Canal street if anyone cares), I passed on going in to see her cat and possibly her mother......Ohh and too answer her question No I do not take Bipolar medication........

Relative Voodoo?

 Out of the blue, a relative of mine called, Asking me for my full given name in Hebrew- There is this woman who can pray for you and figure out whats up, and has proven to work miracles hmmmm- of course it is customary to give her something for her service, Me being a  Suc ooops, a Believer obliged. The Relative calls me again, The Woman really needs to speak to you, she wants to keep things private and wants to speak to you direct ( little did she know about this blog and its 4 readers)  but To be honest,  She scared the Bajesus out of me, Am I going to die or something like that. I called her right away, In her trembling Voice that mimics airplane Turbulence She tells me, that she can tell I am a good person. ( but no letter of recommendation from her) She asked me weather I observe Shabbat and Kosher, of which I said not the way I am supposed to, hence the problem. Here I was thinking about going through some crazy rituals like bathing in Tomato paste and Epsom salt, and all i have to do is observe Shabbat and kosher properly and Problem is solved, But Holy Crap it's the Regionals and Final Four,The Kosher part not a problem, Shabbat can it wait a couple weeks? She Replied do little by little and follow up with me in a few weeks. She  Envisioned me with a really pretty girl, No dimensions specified , I asked for her eye sight Number, she didn't hear the question or maybe she did. This probably confirms my Ticket to hell...............

When a Dog,

  
       makes Doody and no one cleans it up, Whose at fault the dog or the owner? When a School Bus Is waiting over 4 Minutes and blocking the street Whose at Fault the Parents or the Kid? I Know. I know  what You all are going to say "Well you don't have kids, so you don't know" -  under no circumstances have i ever Honked at a waiting school bus, but maybe used a  little foreign language profanity aimed at the parents..... My Rationale for Emailing  really hot 23 year old girl if a lot of older woman can Email me, Why can't I email her ? I basically told her how hot She was in a few different ways- Plus that we have a lot in common - Were Both attractive, Outgoing, Love Shopping  and sociable - But, I'm one up on her on Wars in the Gulf. I think their is better chance that the Moshiach will come....I  did get in touch with Aipac Girl again- I felt the enthusasim in the texts ( alot of .....), non the less will go out, I think Will go Play Bowling..........

Here's too You,

 Mrs Robinson - not exactly but the last seven woman that contacted me on line have been 52, 46, 42, 40, 39, 37 and 34 with Three kids. The Question is this Are they messaging me cause they are desperate, and it would be the equivalent of messaging a really fat and disgusting looking girl or are they genuinely interested, some of them are not bad by the way.......I stared down the devil, didn't flinch, looked  it in the eye and walked  away- of course i am referring to the enormously fattining  cake in front of me - a temporary moment of triumph in my never ending battle against Food, After the 6000 big ones hair surgery failure, i can not afford to both be fat and bald - I'm cracking down on food very much like Assad on the insurgents......I  do not hold much hope for the French to bring the perpetrator's of the Ozar Hatorah Massacre to Justice after all this is the same people that watched for several days as Ilan Halimi  was being tortured and did NOTHING, and with exception to the Pilot and crew, let's not forget the way they handled the  Hijacking at Entebbe".......

A good Friend of mine

   always insisted that where ever he was, either in the shul, wedding, Assembly etc, that pretty girls were  always making eye contact specifically with him, for arguments sake will give him the benefit of the doubt. Recently on line a holy $H%#it, Maroneami beautiful  looking hot 23 year old girl  viewed my profile 7 times over  the past couple weeks ( not that I'm counting) "What does it tell you"? Me-  Either she needs a green card, or she probably has a glitch in her computer and accidentally clicks my profile or her mom hijacked her account and likes me. A Women studies specialist after seeing her photos advised me to "Email her NOW" what do I  have to lose? hmmmm for starters in some parts of the world i can be her father,  But "Maybe she wants the Salami"? hmmm something too think about but that's never ever happened to me before except one time. Let's rationalize suppose we were dogs we would only be separated by 2 years or how about a football game It will only be a two touchdowns spread not too bad especially in an  LSU vs Norflok St game.  Should i Email her I'll clearly go  for the Jugular..........

 

When do I text back?.......

  I Texted Aipac Girl, Didn't hear back from her till the next day- she forgot her phone in the office, Sounds familiar,  I texted her back upon reciet, I haven't heard anything......Unlike last year when someone left there post to get Falafel or something and Runners went off course, This Year's Jerusalem Marathon ended with out any fanfare.......My Online subscription ends in five days, The usual Girls that i was interested in weren't and vice verse. I still entertain all Emails i get though..... Wichita is stuck 3 Points to VCU 18 seconds left, They cross mid court call time out with 12 seconds, I am pretty sure that they didn't design a play for their Seven footer to shoot a double clutch Three with 2 seconds left......

"The Window of

 Opportunity is closing", HUH do I look like the Iranian Nuclear Facilities that need to be taken out? " No  you assume ,you need to give things a chance, you give up on things too easily  "Assumptions are the termites of relationships." ( she quoted the fonz), with that advice I will call Aipac girl again........ An unwritten sports rule, That you don't mess with Karma was the reason i gave my sister in law for not calling the girl she got me her Number- Her team as a big underdog made the championship- I'll wait till after the championships as not to "Jinx" anything..........It's been 15 years to the "island of peace" Massacre  a Heroic Jordain Soldier Killed 7 Jewish School girls, wounded several others, His only regret his weapon Jammed, he is heralded in the Arab world as a Hero....... I can't imagine anyone being stupid enough to pay $499 to attend a Jerusalem post confernece with one of their headliners being Ehud Olmert........

So-So...........

    accentuating  more on  the second So, is how things went with Aipac girl- Nothing bad or stupid happened and the conversation was fun, but probably not as fun in a noisy setting. I got the polite vibe from her, and there wasn't the same enthusiasm, I still had a nice time  but..... she reluctantly agreed to go out again when she gets back mid next week sometime, but my feeling is that things have fizzled out sometime around 1000 pm last night, No Church.......Deja Vu from last march - The Warning Sirens,

 give about a minute to get to a safe place- " We stay close to home, pretty much our lives our Hijacked"- This is daily life for the citizens of Southern Israel the past few days, As indiscriminate rockets rain on them. I heard from someone who got caught on the can, I didn't ask what he did..................

Really Cold to

   Really Hot, That's how I would describe dating. After a cold spell, There are a few new situations that have a risen with in the last couple days- How to respond to them?  The House of Hillel Says Concentrate on one girl(especially the one you're going out with tonight) and don't call the other girls, The House of Shami you need options and you need to keep them open. If you wait to see how things work out, you'll lose the other bitches...... Stat of the day: In a 15 point game at the Scc  the ratio of  "I got it's" ( ill never know who used that phrase first) That's Syrian code for fouls to actual basket is 2.6- 1.0......I litter sometimes as a means of payback for all the tickets NYC gives me, but on the treadmill next to me an older woman chucks a plastic cup that was in her cup holder on the floor, next to me- I picked it up-  "Was it yours why did you put it there?" - She got my usual apology ( the cup wasn't mine).......34 years to Coastal Rd.massacre, Remembering the Fogel Family 03/14.........

Early is on time,

  On time is late, late is unacceptable. For as I long as i can remember I showed up late for a date, (The Weird thing is I always show up late to shul) I could have been on time, but got stuck in Traffic and decided to look for parking rather than use the lot. I met her at 8:03, three minutes is Three minutes and apologized for causing her any hurt, harm, or injustice for being late, and wished her a  Happy Womens Intl Day as well. I was impressed  not only the fact she was early, looked good, dressed and smelled nicely, went to Aipac, but that she was a figure skater, and spouted all i know about the sport ( she can't do a triple Axell but  She was definite on Nancy Kerrigan Side). The Lounge we met up in was noisy, and we kept waiting to get thrown out of the reserved area, it eventually happened but after couple hours. My agent let me know I must have "done something right"- Even a broken clock is right two times a day Church on Sunday will be on Sunday Definite..........

Too Good to be True,

is sometimes too good to be true, I got a number to a girl that sounded terrific, great voice, Loves politics,  Israel,( she went to Aipac) sports, was interesting Sweet etc... I told the Sephlink I didn't need a picture, after our conversation which went well, I had to see her picture she sounded too good, Will meet up Thursday night JJN Style Ill Fake my way around the drinks.......On the treadmill at the center, I didn't know how to change the Tv Channel, I would Highly recommend the best of the Bachelor show, where all the girls get together to be interviewed it was great especially with out the volume......#52 called me She sounded a little weird and used her Screename to say who it was, I didn't pick up- I don't really want to call her back.....By the Kevin Bacon  6 Degree of Separation I got a number to a new girl, This is a little complicated but here goes My Sister in laws Friends - Friend- Whose daughter plays on the basketball team she coaches - Something like that- Should be a fun call to make....... From JD and DM I haven't watched it yet http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc

"Are You Insane?"

   I gave the Sephlink agent access to my Jdate profile- apparently she didn't think it was all that funny

The good news about this profile is I look like my photos the bad news about this profile is i look like my photos- I wanted to convert to Islam but Allah wouldnt advance me a few virgins so i figured i'd stay Jewish -The only thing that can make this profile intresting is if i told you i am a bazillionare, I am very loyal even to the extent of promising to share any lotto winnings with all my fb freinds- I like to celebrate obscure Holidays such as Black History Month, Menachem Begin's Birthday, and Moses Birthday which is coming up soon - i am in the punctual Peoples hall of fame and the spelling and Grammer Hall of shame ( i am ESL- but a citizen so dont worry). I step in doody way more times than the Average person, an expert at making wish sandwiches, and pronounce silent letters to be inclusive( unscented try it ) To all the lovely woman overseas, I do apperciatte you're kind words, but unfortunatly am not available to send you cash, green cards, prizes, or parting gifts...... I listed the Koran as my favorite book also........ I have gotten a couple of   Emails- An interesting one from a 52 year old woman, I gave her my number,No idea why but she looks good in her photo...... Another was funny  a  rather healthy Twenty something year old girl  Messaged me,  I asked What are you looking for in a guy? " I am very Picky" - financially stable, won't look at other girls, Loyal, caring, treat me like a queen, Educated, good looking - "is that too much to ask for"? I didn't bother to ask if 2 out of those would work, But Kudos to her on her confidence.......

Here is Relativity

  "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." Well put Einstein..... Speed Trap off the Belt Pkwy to the Nassau Expwy- Netted me a 61 mph ticket in a 40 zone, I saw cars zooming and just went at that speed, Till the Flat foots Pulled me over, I didn't say a word Checks go to the Dunkin Donuts Foundation. My Revenge will be at the Poor Bastard that has to process the Ticket and payment I do fully plan on defecating all over the check and Ticket, and thanking them for Protecting and serving......Every Morning there are three Russian woman who Assemble right by my parents house to smoke after dropping their kids in school, They aren't hot but look like they do Bad porn, They just have that look.......Israeli Leadership is Weak, not the People- This whole Aipac  Speeches is Nonsense about Iran it's a Sham and The Israelis will pay for this dearly After Obama Wins Reelection in Nov.......Rush's Point about paying for contraception is 100% right, and I don't think like that cause I am not getting laid........Pearl Perry Reich Story is only great because she's really hot Marone ami wow http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcWzHCGVqXg......... 

Because,

       I lied about going to Florida in May, G0d Figured he'd stick it to me a little more to make sure I don't ever lie again. I got to the Airport at 4:30 and while on line to go through security There was a breach, Apparently a couple of TSA agents decided to go for Donuts and coffee and compromised their post Delaying us for over an hour. Then My Bag had to be searched though again, the agent asked my name, as a joke i was going to say Moochemad, but figured there is a time and place for everything..... For the past Two years i have gone out with a Persian Girl around Purim Time, That streak will be broken this Purim............ Speaking of Purim Mishlochat Manot is a beautiful thing as long as People do not cause Traffic....... Changing course hasn't made my sephlink agent very happy, the old Policy of going out with everyone and what's the worse that can happen has not only been a failure, but very Expensive The New Policy not only promises to be fiscally responsible but also with the attitude of No whats the Best thing can happen,Remember the cup runneth over.........