The New System,

to dating invented by the great "INJJN" works very Much like the OVER/ UNDER in sports betting. For Instance The Lines for tonight's Date is 1.5 dates Meaning if I take her out again on a second date those who bet the over win and if She doesn't go out with me again then the under wins. There are ways to get creative with this by setting up Money Lines and also Hours of the date. So again for this Girl tonight the line is established at 1.5 dates and 2.5 hours - Not to sound negative I would bet against me...............

" Honey I forgot to Duck ",

Was what President Reagen told his wife Nancy at the Hospital after his assassination attempt 30 years ago today. Much was made about Sec of State Alexander Haig " I am in control  here" Statement but that was completely blown out of proportion. What sucks is The Assassin John Hinckly Jr- who was found Not Guilty because of Insanity - Gets to play his Guitar and have girlfriends, While Press Sec James Brady became disabled for the rest of his life, That's insanity............. I called back Persian girl and left her a message, I hope she doesn't call me back she was nice girl, but didn't see a connection. I'd rather her have the feeling that she beat me. I did speak with the girl that never called me back-   that never came up though -we spoke generically for about 14 minutes with some bumps on the conversation road - Thursday night 830 were supposed to go out...........

Whats in a Name,

I am on a Mailing list for at least 20 different charities and organizations the reason being is not cause i am philanthropic, but because all the organizations share there files. However that's not the Problem- the problem is that once I thought i would be funny and send them a check with a Bob A. Booey or Bababooey D'elabbate name on the check and return address, I don't think they proofread the names so Basically I get the same mail from an organization for My real name, my business name, Then to Bob a Booey, and then to bababooey Dellagabate- and it comes to my parents address, my work address, and my old apartment's address. This may sound Horrible, but what if someone put Hitler's y'msh name on the return address would they send that name a solicitation ............I passed G-d  test yesterday, i didn't want a treadmill accident again - KU- UNC was going down to the wire 700 came I left for shul granted i was a couple minutes late,  But I didn't miss Shul.............

Why would G-d,

Send a game with the Final four on the line to Overtime knowing its going to be Shul time.  Reader DM said it was a test. If so, then I failed miserably I stayed home to watch  the Overtime Between Butler and Florida. I thought G-d would punish me and make Florida win, But nope Butler Pulled it out........I maybe one of the first People to sustain a Treadmill Injury, I was about to position myself on a treadmill next to a pretty girl, when i stepped on it i didn't realize it was running, and at a high speed also i went flying Scraping my elbow and narrowly avoiding hitting my head on the machine behind it, Knowing that I looked like an A$$hole i got up right away and went to another treadmill- Lucky for me only a few people saw my spazz attack- Perhaps this was G-d telling me not to miss Shul for any game..................

Not one Guilty Man in Shawshank,

  and in the Center basketball Leagues, I don't think there was ever a foul that was committed. I don't know how a game is even played with so much Complaining and yelling at the refs. I wish someone would tape a game or count how many " how is that a foul" complaint there are -Shameful.......... On a good Note I was excited that Duke Lost in NCAA's - With approx Six Minutes and Duke stuck 12 to Arizona I saw Krzyzewski talking to the refs, the next 8 or 9 calls or non calls went Duke's way- Still didn't help.  I think Krzyzewski is a phony and scumbag ( Pam and Jimmy V)  and Thank G-d  also  CBS didn't have the whole Nolan Smith- Derrick Smith Festival Like they ran last Tournament......

J'lem Marathon ends in confusion; leaders run off course,

I found this very amusing, that in the Capitals first ever Marathon something like this would Happen. Apparently they didn't have people on the course directing the runners or maybe as a runner in a previous Israeli Marathon in the 70s put it  " The fellow Directing the runners went off to get a Falafel and several us had to run back an extra Kilometer or Two to the right finish line". Mi ke Amach Ysrael..................

The King of Queens,

  I  have been to the greater Borough of Queens (flushing, kew gardens, fresh meadows etc..) over the last 6 months more so than I have ever been there my entire life. I picked up Persian girl from Queens tonight, She was about twenty minutes late, i updated the minutes on FB. She was prettier than I expected and She was dressed real nice, but i don't remember if i complimented her or not. We Went to a familiar restaurant that everyone goes to - had a loose conversation, i got heartburn from the food, but had a nice time with her. I forgot to ask her how to curse in Persian, Maybe next time............

The Warning Sirens,

 give about a minute to get to a safe place- " We stay close to home, pretty much our lives our Hijacked"- This is daily life for the citizens of Southern Israel the past few days, As indiscriminate rockets rain on them. I heard from someone who got caught on the can, I didn't ask what he did..................

"Can You hang on,

for a minute? wait Ill call you back". Did you ever hear the story's of a mother or father who go out to the store for milk and then never come back or come back years later. NOT to compare a short while ago i was given a girls number and I usually am very careful to verify she knows about me before hand, and approves that i call. Out of the blue someone emails me  -" are you interested in meeting a great girl" ? Sure, when she told me her name I told her that I am still waiting for her to call me back. The only thing that I am curious to find out is if she asked her about me first. Never Say Never , but the only way I would ever go out with her   is IF...............

When I was a kid,

I had an uncle who taught us the right way to eat soup. It  was OK to drink up the rest of soup bowl when youre  towards the end of the soup-in keeping with tradition I taught that to my nieces and nephews- but only to do it when there at home..... I called  Persian girl Last night and she sounded great, which automatically raises a red flag cause i have no clue what she looks like, but i am a firm believer in "sometimes good things happen".......In regards to recent Events in the Jewish State ( Grad rockets in Ashdod, Beer Sheva, Ashkelon, The Itamar massacre, and now the Bus Bombing in the capital) It is somewhat disturbing to me  to read FB posts of people taking a tragedy and making  it about themselves, How much they grief and how hurt or sick they are etc.. We all Know Spare us................

The Seven Years of,

Famine have arrived, after feasting on a whole bunch of dates,  meeting new girls from overseas,and getting inundated with several other opportunities over the course of the last couple of months, I am at the 0.0 stage. I am in contact with Israeli girl #2 the British one, but nothing serious. I also lost Persian girls number-Purim is over anyways so I'm exempted... The deficit has climbed to a manageable $1363.00....... I'm considering re joining Jdate yet again........

Mishloach Manot =

Traffic, I don't want to sound like the Grinch who stole Purim - But Yesterday it was a horror driving around some of the streets of Brooklyn, The Honking, Double Parking, Etc. I think it's a great thing that everyone gives them out, but I am against anything That causes Traffic, I still think the People who double park and  cause traffic in G-D's name to get to Synagogue are a lot worse it...........I had a Moses hitting the stone and water rushing out moment, at a Meter ticket Machine the machine was malfunctioning my reaction is to curse it out and hit the machine, usually i injure my hand, but this time about 20 quarters came rushing out - I didn't return them..............

A Foul is A,

Foul- The question is Does one officiate a game with out regard to time and situation? Would you make the same foul call with 15 minutes left as when there is 2 seconds left? The controversial ending of the Butler- Pitt game tonight which there were 2 "questionable at the time fouls" in the last 2.2 seconds raise those questions. When i Was an Assistant coach on a SCC Maccabee team- our player while chucking up a desperation heave from 60 feet out  was clearly Slapped on the hand while in motion and with time left the official acknowledged he saw and  even heard the slap- he refused to call saying he " couldn't make a call like that at that time" We lost by one, Our head coach was sobbing..................

Doesnt get any Better,

 Than This . March Madness is the greatest time of the year for me as far as sports. I haven't followed it very closely in the last couple years, but when I watched some games today  it all came back to me.....I  was dating My Ex -  while back in 2004 she made me go out on a Saturday night of a big game ( it was an elite 8 game between #1 St Joe's and #2 Oklahoma St) Turned out to be one the greatest Tournament games of all time and I missed, cause I was  eating Sushi somewhere and miserable.  I couldn't even lie to my friends and tell them I saw it, cause they all knew where I was -I don't even think i got any that night also it was Depressing...........

Haaretz Newspaper,

  The Erev Rav of the Jewish people, Had a headline Helen Thomas in Playboy- for a minuscule second i had the vision of this woman pictured here Nude in a 12 page spread.I can't imagine any one would ever bust a nut to that....

The Calculator Trick,

always gets me even if i know it's coming, I need new Jeans and don't know how to buy them on my own, so i go to a relatively expensive clothing store where the girl who happens to know fashion real well picks them out for me, The only thing is She sets me up for the hit - Before she rings it up she goes to the calculator punches up some numbers thinks about it for a second, shows it to me tells me she gave me 40% off and the amount comes up, and everyone is happy. My father once told me that when you go to the nuts store and take some on the side to taste it's ok cause they figure it into the price, So I figure her service and advice to the price also........

Three for Three,

 Every thing I prayed for yesterday God delivered, The girl i sat actually one seat away from was a big Yenta but there was an open seat in our row, so i didnt need to hear her much. The Flight home was one of the best things that happened to me on this trip....... Status unclear weather i should call Esther my annual Persian girl Purim date..... Sephlink lady has been in contact with me, she recommended a girl i went out- I told her it didn't go well cause one of us is weird. To Be fair, I said one of  us...........

The US Post office,

lines are horrible, can you imagine what the "Doar Ysrael " or Israeli pot office lines are like. I may get punished like 10 of the 12 spies for speaking "Deeba" or  bad about Israel, but Generally the biggest pain in the ass customers are the Ultra orthodox,so imagine having them ten fold at the Israeli Post office........I got a little irritated for the first time in a while I saw a girl that stiffed me $500 posting pictures of  her new car, Ill give her the benefit of the doubt that she donated the money to tzedekah..............Ive made my prayers for tonight at the wall,  I asked G-d to get me home safe, don't make me sit next to haseedem and please if u can make me sit next to a somewhat decent looking girl. .....

Homeward bound,

I wish I were, I have one more day of  this unnecesarey trip. The Main reason for the trip was to go to an awards ceremony for my brother, which i thought was done by the city, but instead it was done by an organization- It was still nice but had i known I wouldnt have made the trip......I met up with "Flew Girl" for about fifteen minutes in a jerusalem suburb where she worked- Thankfully she had to go back to work, the purpose of meeting up who knows? but she seemed pretty miserable...... My fathers Sister hooked me up with yet another Israeli girl whom i kept friending the wrong name on FB- it's a long shot, but we may meet up... I thought about this if i were really good looking and good at it  i would have probably been able to score with some of these girls- but instead Ive gotton  the consolation prize New Facebook Friends..........

My father,

has renounced custody of me should my parents ever get divorced. After rooming with me for the past 6 nights and us hanging out, I think he's had eneough of me harrasing about his driving, his breakfast, and his gas,  he told me I think you should go with youre mother......I told my father i wanted him to get custody,(disclaimer this is just a bad family Joke)..................

Israel has,

a lot of great things about it Customer Service is NOT one of them. My father and I went to rent a car, the woman charged him $41 instead of $31 because he didnt do the reservation on line- My Father asked her why didn't you tell me to do it on line - she replied its noy my job to tell you, There is no reason for me to tell you. At least she was straight forward and honest......In response to the brutal attack at Itamar last friday Night- i came across Psalms 69:36 " It is God that will redeem Zion and rebuild the Judean Hills, They will come there and inherit it "......... Israeli girl #1 called me today, I called her back, Shes over the "flew" i said ill be around from 730 on she said shell call me back at 200 maybe she meant 200 tommorow...........

Israeli Girl,

 updates - Israeli Girl #1 from Jerusalem I never got to meet up with - apparently she still has the "flew"- and i have not called her - she messaged me on FB but the conversation ended with "hopefully the weather will get better" ........I did meet up with Israeli girl #2 a very pretty Brunette of British origin with the good accent - we hung out a couple times, and got along real well, think alike politcally, will be in touch and ended up on a "friendly who knows what may happen basis"........ I also met up with another israeli girl whom i called on a friday afternoon after a relative confirmed she checked me up on FB and gave her blessing. She asked me " what do u think can happen " - This is ovioulsy a long shot, but whats the worst that can happen- We met up in Petach Tikva, We got along real well, except politcally. I found her very attractive and genuine, She texted me she was glad the cab driver didnt kill me on the way to Jerusalem- i responded im still around to bother you - never heard back yet - but she accepted my friend request......... A Great thing about Israeli girls is  that Politcs is very important to them  and always makes great conversation....................

The Best $6.50

    I thought I ever spent was buying an extra seat in a communal cab- Getting stuck sitting next to a Hassedem who reeked, was on the phone and had ass breath motivated me to get the extra seat- Instead i got to sit a seat away from a ruffian with a brutal hacking cough who blamed in on allergies when he saw me huffing and cursing in arabic, It was probably still worth it..............

The Worlds Greatest,

Outdoor party is not in Gainsville Fl on the Florida University campus, But rather at the Kotel Plaza, in Jerusalem during Kabbalat Shabbat. I know I mentioned it before But it is Something beyond Special.......At the internet cafe my computer was expierencing diffculties,I promised the owners i wasn't watching porn( I wasn't) they believed me and blamed the Hareedem.........

Directions and Breakfast......

A friend asked me to drop off an a small envelope by someone "Somewhere near the Kotel- Dont Worry"- Thank god for my father who knew the area, it was where he grew up, not near the Kotel at all. Typical Israeli Fashion we asked "Where is the street" - people respond "Somewhere here in the area"- I like the pointing better though.........Speaking of My father, We had Breakfast today and nothing turns him on more than the Breakfast- he kept encouraging me to get up and get more and saying the same thing "this fills me up for the day", and when we passed by a relative and He offered us something -my father yup you guessed it was talking about how full he was from the breakfast. The great thing about my father also is he had to deposit a deuce - he just goes, no problem. I dont think i would ever have the balls to go in someone elses house..........

Guess who got sick,

 with the "flew"-Yup Israeli girl  #1 that i was supposed to meet up with. As stated before I am no "SuckAss" and not going to beg her to meet up if she wants good if she doesnt good also, no rescheduling plans made........ Israeli girl #2 just emailed me back after couple days - Saturday night is fine to meet up im contemplating shlepping out to Tel Aviv Sat night- There is always option B in Tel aviv........... I went to the Tent for abducted Soldier Gilad Shalit whose been in  Hamas Hell almost five years, I made small conversation with his father Noam wishing him support, telling him where I'm from and that people pray everyday it's amazing sometimes how no amount of money can solve this, I went back to reading Psalms- You can see the pain in his face..........

Jonah,

 was thrown overboard  cause he hid from God then the storm stopped ,  - someone suggested they kick me out of the country as I am the result of the bad weather..... Besides the pouring the bad luck goes on - I went to a Memorial service for Menachem Begin in Mt olives cemetery, I thought it kind of weird that it was only me and three Tunsians from Asheklon  that showed  up  - granted it was raining and cold, but this is Begin. Turns out the Tunsians came for there grandfather, but happened to be in the area, I read pslams at Begin's gravesite and also the Tunsian Rabbi Site. I have to ask NR his take on the Tunsians he has a strong opinion on the Morocans and Yemenites....... Getting stuck in Ras Al Amood- an arab village in East Jerusalem in the pouring rain is no fun - it pained me to flag an Arab cab as i knew i was going to get ripped off, which of course I did. I was  alert as to where he was driving, i was a good mugging candidate today - I paid him about $20 over the normal fare....................

Talk is not cheap,

 The Israelis with out any disrespect are extrordinarly rude when it comes to answering a question that gets them nothing, I refuse to ask anyone anything not unless i buy something. I couldnt find the bathroom or pay phone i circled the station for fifteen minutes but refused to ask......... So  far things havent gone to well bad flight--Valise coming late---Communal cab on the way dropped me off last----no sleep----- no phone---no plans---- it's been raining and its cold---- the old french a$$hole sitting behined me on the bus to Hebron was coughing all over me and i think got me sick it reminded me when me, DM, coach ike and truck took a cab to Fenway guess who sat in the middle and Truck was coughing and sniffling all over me.---- back to no sleep. I should be meeting up with an Israeli girl tommorow night, but who knows with the rain and rumors of snow people here are in a mild frenzy..............

Some unusual,

occurences on the flight as i know its getting boring, An Israeli fight between a man who yelled at a woman's kid - she threatned to slap him...... The Haseedem brother next to me in perhaps  one of the grossest things ive seen was itching his beard and face with the remote control for the tv, his tv wasnt  working by the way..... I never sit next to a pretty girl on an ELAL flight, cause there really are NOT any...........Haseedems age is more diffcult to detect than Domican baseball players, I thought some of there wives were there mothers..........I will spell check all Israel posts when i get back.............

ONE OUT OF THREE,

in baseball terms would make you a hall a famer, but in my requests from God it didn't turn out too well except for me still being alive. I was booked to sit in the middle seat on the plane, plop right near me was a Haseedem brother whom i will reserve describing, when i found out he was in the wrong seat- I really though god was looking out for me but nope right after him came a haseedem couple, and i was stuck between them as neither of them wanted the middle seat- god to the rescue again? yup there was another hasdeem guy who asked if i can switch seats with him, cause he didnt want to sit near a woman and it was an aisle seat. I asked him if she was hot, she wasn't she was another haseedems wife, Her Husband started Puking before the flight, so he wound up upgrading himself to business and it was me and the haseedems wife getting on, NOT she was a nice lady though in her defense i asked her questions shy of the sex through the sheet part. This would make an unusual score card...............

Greetings from,

the Eternal and Undivided capital of the Jewish people. For the second time in the Blog I am in Jerusalem, according to the state dept though its just Jerusalem not Jerusalem, Israel.....Prior to the flight i got the ok to call Persian Girl, she apparently checked me out, So for the second time in 2 years I will  be going out with a Persian girl around Purim time Coincidence?.......I haven't slept in what seems like 48 hours, Up all night i decided to go to the Kotel for Early Minyan at 530. The reasoning being that i was up and TV programming was pretty crappy- Walking through the Jaffa Gate that early can get tricky, it was pretty dark and no security, I took a wrong turn,but found myself, I still think Brownsville or Bed Sty is more dangerous. I prayed for all those who asked of me- again I hope it works, I would not bet on it...................

My bags are packed.

I'm ready to go - hopefully unlike the late John Denver. I'm sure I'm going to forget something but for now i am just trying to work out a deal with God....... "Achat Shaalti Meeat hashem" - I generally ask he not make go to the bathroom, get me there safe, and get a pretty girl to sit next to me- the 3rd request is pushing it but as meatloaf sings "2 out of 3 it aint bad". No "just in case" Letter this time also, i wasn't in the mood... My favorite thing about traveling i can use the word Valise freely one of my favorite words

Glatt Kosher sex in

 Red Haifa - May be on the Itinerary for this years trip, The last time i was there as i mentioned before i bailed out a girl from Jail.  Thanks to reader M who send me an article about Harediem( ultra orthodox)Women in Haifa  who resort to turning Tricks to support the family. They pump out a bunch of kids,  there husbands are "Studying" all day at the Yeshiva, and no one provides for the family. A woman was quoted as being heartbroken as her kids have nothing to eat, Shell do anything. I don't condone there actions but admire them for owning up to there responsibility's even if Turning tricks may not be the most honest living. I still think it's better than the "Shnoora" or free loading business.... The Jokes by the way are endless so ill spare them....http://www.mynet.co.il/articles/0,7340,L-4037327,00.html - sorry i couldn't get a translation to the article.......

Plans are,

Not looking good, but judging from past experiences of meeting up with Israeli girls That may not be a bad thing -here are some examples I  met up with a Hippish girl who took me to see a play conducted by the blind and deaf in Jaffa, another i met  up for drinks she was very very healthy, one I bailed out of Jail in Haifa, One Exiled me from my apt when she came to NY to visit (previous post)...... "Mi shene Nechnas Adar Marbeem be simcha"- Ironic it's been three years since an Arab from East Jerusalem killed 8 students and wounded 11  at The Mercaz Harav Yeshiva.......

Is Sleeping with

 with pillows with out Pillow cases Bad? For the past week or so I didn't even realize, so how bad could it be? My Mom thinks I'm Sleazy......... "I can't help u if you're gonna play me" - The sephlink texted me. She likes me, But i can tell has a very low opinion of me, I didn't tell her my Theory on Opinions............ Moshe Arenas - an Israeli Diplomat on Israel's  Neighbors "We Live in the Middle East not the Middle West"...... 15 years ago this week There were 3 Suicide Bombings in Israel 2 on Jerusalem Buses and one at TA Dizengoff Ctr all victims of OSLO.......................

Getting Lectured,

about Sportsmanship By  Danny L. Is Equivalent to Mohmaar Ghaddafi chairing the Human Rights council. I was a replacement player at the center last night, So while shooting Free throws I make small talk on the line from anything about God or just making sure everyone has there block out assignments. Danny L. whom I respect as a player, cause he does anything to gain an advantage be it swinging elbows, knocking down people, fighting etc..Was yelling at me for my lack of sportsmanship for talking and clapping on the line. We Lost at the Buzzer, i was the culprit........

Does the Camera,

 Ever lie? Israeli girl told me you're pictures are really far- I replied in kind that's the Point. She said I looked different in all my pictures so apparently one of them was decent enough for her to contact me. Girls are just as superficial as guys I am considering updating new photos........... There are 4.36 calories in ONE M+M - a 1.69 oz  bag contains 55 M+Ms  at 240 calories for the bag, Essentially what this means is THAT I HAVE WAY TOO MUCH FREAKING TIME ON MY HANDS................ A couple years ago I went out with a girl Whom I Bought my first Porn Magazine from her Brother in School, I saw her on line. Would it be wrong if I would've have told her to Break the ice.........

The Days of ,

Aheshveroch are dawning upon us and this for me usually  means a call from my cousin who converted to Perisanisim via marriage." I have a great girl for you "  she Reads off the stats - Usual the same Description  as Syrian Girls Except- I always get that Persian Girls are really Smart- I told her she can look me up on FB if shes interested Ill take her out. My cousin is real nice, but I Didn't tell her I was going to Israel, Cause if her Mom found out i know id get stuck with a bunch of Extra Luggage...........