Monday, November 30, 2015

In Relationships



 
    it always made me wonder, when going out with other couples, primarily, your girlfriends friends. Does the Husband or Boyfriend of her friend, Think the same way as I do;.....  How soon will the night end? .Can't be that I am the only Anti-Social One........I am back as the Part time  Assistant helm at YD. Coach DM refused to accept my resignation and insisted I can be as negative as ever, and can miss some games....... Were going back Live from HasidicCon, at the Crown Heights Armory Celebrating the date the Satamar Rebbe was Saved, and of course the Defeat of Porn.............68  years ago The United Nations voted to partition Palestine. The vote went  33 yeas 13 nos 10 abstentions- immediately The region plunged into war Arab league chairman Mr  Pasha  was quoted - "This will be a war of extermination and a momentous massacre which will be spoken of like the Mongolian massacres"- Despite insurmountable odds, in a modern day miracle The Israelis prevailed.  On this date The  Dead Sea Scrolls were found, and the oldest Torah in Aleppo Syria was Burned some 200 pages of were preserved....(copied from last two years blogs)............

Sunday, November 22, 2015

A Self Imposed Exile




      to the OB, has been imposed after Sixty Days..... Here is What was missed over the last two Months...................                                                     . A lot has happened though, The JCPOA was approved and no one knows what the Hell the Iranians are doing. The " Lone wolf or Stabbing intifada" has brought terror to with in Israel. Terror has been brought to Europe and of course, Israel is responsible.. On the personal Front I Lost more Hair, gained more weight, and haven't made as much Money as I would have liked to. In Short Recession- Inflation - Depression.......... Despite My Atrocious Grammar, The " Great guy" Speech from WBG, has yet to come, and things have been progressing at a Different Pace. I am an Idealist and like to believe it's on it's way..... It took all but Two Games for me to submit my resignation as Assistant to coach DM at YD. I don't think I had one positive or nice thing to say to the team, Except for telling them they were Nice Kids.   " And in my first memories, they Shot Kennedy"..... 54 Years to the assassination of #35

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

It's been



  Standard and official Policy to mark, Celebrate, and only Observe Success, as it's stated " Only Success Should be celebrated".......... Having been out of coaching for around 8 years, I helped Coach DM pick his Basketball Team.  I didn't realize how difficult it is to cut So many Kids on the fence, and basically telling them they can't do what they love doing, Waaaaa............Sometimes it's perplexing   how Naive and Stupid I can be when it comes to Women. A friend Suggested,   to ask the girl I've been seeing around Seven Dates What she likes about me? The Only things I've come up with that I'm always on time, and always make Plans. I Guess, I'll find out Thursday When I ask  ..... Not to sound Chauvinistic, But with Selichot Mania upon us. I'm just not the biggest fan of hearing the Amazing Sarit Hadadd or any other woman perform them in their concerts......... 42 years to the Yom Kippur war, Still puzzles me how the Egyptians and Syrians think they won, no question they covered the spread but won? Really???........

Sunday, September 13, 2015

L'Shana



 Tova, because of my Grandmother Rose levine  will always be  my Favorite Jewish New years Greeting....... I usually repeat the Same New Years Lines from previous the first being Said my Szymon Persky " We need more Solutions, Not Resolutions", and the infamous Russian proverb I picked up " one who does not ring in the new year celebrating, Will not be celebrating the entire year". It's unclear Weather that applies for Rosh Hashana... I Quoted former MTA Chief Roger Toussant and predicted that " Tings do not look good " for 5775, and it was not specifically a bad year, but one can not call it a good one, Especially with the  treacherous Iran Nuclear Deal. A Prediction for 5776 and I quote the Old Israeli folk Song Bashana Habaa  " Just wait and see, Just wait and see how good it will be"
 

Thursday, September 10, 2015

A Short Story


 told to me by Sidny Arthur Speilfogel:
On July 20, 1969, commander of the Apollo 11 Lunar Module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. His first words after stepping on the moon, “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind”, were televised to Earth and heard by millions. But just before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark:
“Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.” Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the “Good luck Mr. Gorsky” statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled. On July 5, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.
In 1938 when he was a kid in a small Midwest town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball, which landed in his neighbor’s yard by the bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky.
As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky. “Sex! You want sex?! You’ll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!”

Preparing


for the " You're a really great guy " speech from WBG, has made me a lil anxious, Seems like I almost want to do it myself, and be done with it. It's been Five really great Dates and we are Scheduled for a sixth, and every time I see her I feel better and better, and every time I don't, worse and worse......... Confirming for Date 6, She was really looking fore ward, though it was unclear weather to see me or simply take her mind off things. Didn't really matter, She was still going out with me .The unthinkable almost happened; I was almost late. Thanks to some Slick Driving, I managed to Pull up to her Apt with under a minute to spare. Heading downtown, I really wanted to put things out there, But that could wait till after we broke bread at the New Asia de Cuba Downtown. She evened up the score, by surprising me this time with a Birthday cake Desert, and the evening culminated with a wine glass breaking at the table, Jokingly I alluded i am supposed to stomp on it and declare my Yearning for Jerusalem, Not one of my better jokes.. We spoke Status, and I  shared my concern that I maybe making feel uncomfortable, and understood that we are at Different Levels with me wanting her a lot more than she wanting me. The Status Quo has remained, maybe were on for next week? or maybe not? .........

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Especially Disturbing


 to walk to my car this morning to find it ransacked. Thankfully the lock was in tact and the windows not smashed. My guess I just forgot to lock the car, Two things Disturbed me. Why wouldn't the Idiot thief Check the trunk, of which i had an array of samples and a Box to deliver, and the second on a more personal Level, What the hell was I doing with Eleven  TD Bank Pens, Made me feel like a kleptomaniac. I was grateful that their didn't seem to be any Damage to the car, and they left me my ever so important Back Scratchier. The only thing noticeably missing was an unopened never used  Navigation System.  I hope they make good use of it  finding their way........."Our greatest hopes and our worst fears are seldom realized." Our worst fears have been realized tonight. They have now said there were 11 hostages; two were killed in their rooms yesterday morning, nine were killed at the airport tonight. They're all gone.- Jim Mckay 090572 Munich...... Operation Orchard 090707, the little known and audacious operation to take out the North Korean made Syrian Dry and Desert lands Center, also known as their Nuclear Reactor..........Update with WBG  in One word Still Good and in two Not good........ the good news is I do get to take her out again so hopefully the Status Can be Upgraded.........

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Once again If Moses would have



only Turned left on his way out of Egypt, The Israelites would be controlling the worlds oil supply  In Perhaps the biggest Blunder, Since the founding of the blog . We were sent on Assignment to cover the Pakistani Festival Parade, While only  a few Blocks West a Coterie of over 300  Bare chested Ladies with breast of All sizes, Were marching for their civil rights. If Only...... It amazes me  How $21.97 Microphone with a chord, Can legitimatize any moron and turn him into a Journalist. Forced to Hire a Camera man off the Streets, I  headed to the Meet and greet the Pakistani Revelers. Marching down Madison Ave. In Search for ratings, the goal, find the most Obscure and Outrageous characters to speak their mind and answer some Peculiar questions. A Father of Three Gifted Daughters  pulled me aside,insisting, I "Air" their Story and promote the Children's books they wrote to  the great People of the Marhsal Islands and the North pacific. They Spoke Eloquently and, it made me feel horrible  that the interview with these accomplished Kids will be Seen by Nobody. At least they were Happy to be interviewed.......... Someone asked How's it going with WBG? In Sulyiman Demeral Fashion i Answered in One word, Good, and in two Words Not Good


The Good News



  WBG is really really liking my Plans, My Place selections, and the Small Surprises . The Not so good news is I don't think She is really really liking me. A first for me for the year 2015, I was actually picking up a  date for the date rather than meeting up with her. Certainly that can only mean two things Either I suck at chivalry or hadn't been on many Real dates. The latter of course is more believable. We exchanged toasts, and Broke bread at Bryant park's Koi,  Light conversation, with a lot of people watching, that  made it seem like we were old friends who were never really close. Coming back from the Ladies room, She was Surprised by a Special Birthday Desert. Making a wish she blew out the candle, Despite her Birthday being Six months prior. The Romantic Gestures continued and i presented her with Scratch off Lotto Tickets, As a fun gesture to what we spoke a lil about in our previous date. She Seemed Excited. Texting me after  she won $5 thanks for a fun night, I replied in kind, and Put the ball in her court.......

Sunday, August 23, 2015

To Cancel With a


  mid 30's Voluminous  Laawn Island girl that  was Tentatively Scheduled to For Wednesday night. Messaging her in the morning As to what's up for tonight. Her Response, a no Response, which  put me in the clear, and to focus for Thursday night. However before that I was posed with the Progressive point of you regarding Iran , and the argument is " It's a done deal, Even if Congress votes this down, the president will use the Veto Power, and he is a slam dunk to get a 1/3 of the congress to Approve the deal. So instead of pissing off the President by vilifying him and threatening members of congress, just Play along and try to get as much compensation as possible, You can not Change the realty of this deal".  Furthermore the State Dept is Publishing Documents regarding Israeli Nuclear Plans in the late 60's, I wonder WHY?..........Providing Several choices WBG( Whisky blue  Girl) Was Pleased with them all and had full faith in me.......

Friday, August 21, 2015

A Tall and Semi Kosher



   Pretty Brunette at Whisky Blue in Midtown. Waiting for her in the corner of the Bar, She walked in looking like she came out of a fashion Shoot, statuesque, Made up, insanely Hot dress, Pretty was an understatement, More like  Kyrie Elesion crazy Italian words beautiful.  Exchanging  greetings,   Accidentally She got  lipstick on my shirt, "I'll either send you the bill, but in all likely hood never wash my shirt again" i Joked. The pressure to keep the date flowing, led to some ill advised and poorly timed jokes, None the less Everything in my mind was going great. It was befuddling how   a girl like this is Still single? and is she really going out with me ? She was engaging, Bubbly, curious, Interested and interesting and loving the selection of the Bar. Not much of a Texter, ( that is at least with me ) She was very Parave, to my messages, and jokes. However despite having earlier plans for Thursday, She was able to squeeze me in for 900, and no rain or sleek or snow or whatever the hell the USPS motto is would keep me from taking her out, and this time for real. But before, I had to take her out, I really really wanted.................


Having one



       of those "looking forward"  conversations never seems to live up to the billing of the actual meeting. Mutually looking forward to meet up, me and a Mid 30's. newly religious, Attractive, Israel loving , Suffering NY Jets fan Brooklyn woman, Decided to have a Pre Date Date. " Let's meet for coffee for half hour and see how the chemistry goes" . Amenable to the Idea, We met right after  her work at a lower Manhattan Starbucks. As good as the conversation was, that is how bad the actual PDD went. Looking hot and terribly uncomfortable, She had even worse Eye contact than me,and simply looked tortured, and under duress. In My defense my pics and Bio are accurate, I smelled of Creed cologone and my breath  of Fresh burst listirine. Sitting on the Fourth Step of the American Indian Museum, Things got really bad once the conversation shifted to the subject of the American Indian, V Indians from India. The Only thing that turned out right was the  PDD( Pre date date) Idea. Once again "Even though it all went wrong".......... I needed to head to midtown to meet up with..............





Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Never would I realize



     That my greatest Dating fear, would turn into my greatest hope. The "Lobby" Lounge at the Mondorian Hotel in Columbus circle was the site of Tentative Meeting number one. Arriving early to scope out the place, I was flabbergasted by the opulence, that would even make Robin Bleach Scowl about the lifestyles of the Rich and famous. She arrived a couple minutes late and Greeted me in  Traditional Middle Eastern Persian Fashion, Kiss on both cheeks. We spoke Dating, and was greatly relieved that I was an upgrade from her last date,  but Probably not by much. I'm Not specifically Sure what the matter was wrong with him ,but according to her  he suffered from some sort of Syndrome. Early on I got the instant vibe, She was itching to leave, and She did a really good job playing the role of the courteous dater that did not want to be there.  I immediately obliged In Kenny Rogers, the Gambler style ;"folding  em" and walking  away. Really Wanting to try out the Bathroom, it was one of those  Sui Generis,  or in a class by itself, Bathrooms, but  much like the date Their was nothing. Our Conversation continued down the long 35 flight elevator ride down, Where we Departed in the same fashion as we met. No Church on Sunday............

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Despite the Heat



       
                  Wave  forecast-ed this for the week, Their is Tentative Plans for Monday, Tuesday , and Wednesday with the Key word being tentative.Tentative is defined in the Miriam websters dictionary of dating as it's on, Not unless something Better comes up.....Difficult circumstances forced me to scratch the assignment at the Indian parade, that was marching down Madison Ave. Though I did attend as a civilian and must say that  I absolutely relish the Accent, and probably could have spent the whole day just speaking to randoms.....  Lebron  winning a Championship for Cleveland would be the Equivalent of Benjamin Netnayahou  preventing Iran from Getting Nukes to protect Israel. A final Thought on perhaps the most Deciding Issue of Our time. Bibi rightfully so,put  the Iran issue, front and center on the world Stage, he did everything and anything to plead his case to the International community. He was vilified across the world and more importantly at Home for not trusting Obama. It is after all former Mossad Chief Meir Dagan who boldly stated " If you can't trust the president of the United States, then whom can you trust". Much like Lebron, he was shorthanded and outmatched and took the Fight to the brink of victory, But at the end, He will suffer the same fate, and all everyone will remember is that Bibi allowed this to happen under his watch. The real losers here; the Jewish people.............102 Years ago today, The man who ordered the Strike on the Iraqi Reactor in Osirak Was born......... Who is Menachem Begin 

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Fait Accompli




        The Israelis need to prepare for the day AFTER the Iranian deal gets ratified. Despite a valiant effort By PM Netanyahoo to torpedo the deal, He will suffer the same fate as he did back in 1984 when he ferociously worked behind the scenes to Sabotage the Jibril Accords and that  massive Prisoner Exchange. Bibi was able to "redeem" himself by letting over 1100 Terrorists many with blood on their hands to free Gilad Shalit in 2011. Checkmate for President Obama who turned this Debate Personal, and was able to Isolate the state of Israel and send  a nice and raucous F U to BiBi..... Predication a vote of no confidence will be passed in Israel, and Bibi will resign  .......Thanks to photographer to the Stars Uzi,for making this year's coverage of the Dominican parade a resounding success, Interviews will be posted on social media........Prior to the Summer, the plan was to make it out to Las Vegas, Florida, Israel and the  pilgrimage to the holy city of Deal, worked out pretty Well I made it to None, though the Jewish State maybe looking a lil better for the Early Fall..............

Monday, August 10, 2015

some kind and lovely.



comments about the woman i met up with Saturday night.....................................................................

         With nothing doing Saturday Night, Impulsively i suggested to a Late 30's Blonde that since neither of us has anything to do, why not do it together. applauding the idea, She suggested to meet at the 24 5th Ave bar. We hardly spoke and hell it would be just as if we met at the Bar. Hell would be a viable option after meeting this late 30's early 50's looking Blonde. She allegedly worked in the world of film and complained about working with people like  Marty ( Scorsese)  Johnny ( depp) and other people i Never heard of. She sounded a lot like an Ex who would frequently tell me how much she loathed $800 dinners. I also had to weigh in ( no pun intended) on her Feud with her 800 lb Sister, Thankfully she was married so no chance of me meeting her on tinder and hitting the daily double. Her contemptuous attitude, Coupled with her Foul mouth, and one or two sizes to small very  unflattering  Stained velour outfit she had on. made for perhaps the worst seventeen minutes one would want to go through in their lifetime...........

Friday, August 7, 2015

if The Girl



       That i went out with last week, Were to write a blog or be featured in this one,Perhaps you would have something interesting to read. Despite being some years past her prime, She Still had some gas in the Tank.  She a free spirited  Banking Executive, sharp, and cunning with an edge. Her energy was contagious, and no subject was off the table. Starting off at a midtown bar, We both gazed over at the SC Senator Lindsey Graham look alike Sitting next to us, name dropping his name to try to get confirmation.  She fascinated me with her Mile High club Story and other places where she did the deed. Her insatiable appetite for.....  continued to intensify the evening . She encouraged me to be more inconspicuous  when she mentioned that the leggy Buxom brunette sitting across from the fake Lindsey Graham was her type in woman. I simple couldn't stop looking and asked her how that stuff  happens. She opt for a really long walk down the East river, Where we sat and........... She was going to invite me up for a nightcap, but had company and was afraid they were going to show, Seemed believable like the  time a girl  told me her Brother needed  to pick up an Air conditioner from her at 1:00 in the morning.  Despite the good showing and  the Potential,  potential, It was none the less a One and Done...........

Saturday, August 1, 2015

The Jewish Valentine



    Day Party also known as TU Be AV party,  brings out a pretty large crowd of singles at Boat Basin on the upper west side. Coaxed by a friend to go, I tried recruiting a couple of other friends with out success. As a consolation  prize i got to drive two of  her friends, who are not amongst my favorite. As the designated driver, I was forced into drinking Flat club Soda, Seemed right for the very Jewish Party. The Theme was white, and for Sweating purposes I wore dark's. It was overtly hot, Muggy, and loud and many in the crowd were acting , as if they were too cool to be there. I did run into some old friends and actually had a helpful conversation with the lone Shiksa who just happened to be there. Ready to leave and really needing to relieve myself the obnoxious friends via the law of contra positive, Were especially Douchy, and over twenty minutes late. Their conversation on the ride home was torturous, but i had my own issues to worry about though occasionally chimed in
 under my breath " stupid any time a guy is much younger than you, he's looking to get laid". Their were no accidents and by the grace of G0d  I made it with little time to spare. As it turns out All my friends were right. The Real ones for not attending and the obnoxious one's for finding a sucker to drive them. As for me Tu Be Av felt a lot more like  Tisha Be Av, but one who sees the cup not half empty or half full, but rather spillith over at least I made it..........



Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Their are 2600,



     Cans of Beer on the Wall  Shaped in an  American flag at the Dream Hotel Located on W.16th Street. Counting  and counting down to the tune of "99 bottles of beer " the cans of Beer on the Wall,  Was not an  Exactly an indication of how my date was going Monday night with a well proportioned  Early Thirties Manhattan brunette.  A Photo of her with Henry Kissinger caught my attention, of which i complimented her,  and fully expected to have an Historical conversation  on his role in the Paris peace accords or Mid east Diplomacy. The Beer cans on the wall were more of an interest to her. Despite living in the area She Strolled in several minutes late and was impressed with my choice of venues.  Letting my eyes wander ,It was not hard to notice her, adjusting her Conspicuous Top, revealing her ample assets Several times. A French Fry Diva, She would never eat a not crunchy fry, and when one of the fries fell down her shirt, I covered my eyes, Well Sorta, Ok I peeked. We never stalled, but really never took off either, it was kind of like driving  Thirty Five in a Fifty Five zone. Walking her partially home, We thanked each other for a fun night and were in agreement to go out again, before Exchanging our last goodbyes............

Monday, July 27, 2015

and we sang



Dirges in the dark, the day the.......... The Only Positive, I can take from the Tisha be Av fast is that it is a Free Diet. Talking to several Secular, Reform, And conservative girls, it was a little astounding that most of them did not even Know this Day Exists in the Jewish calendar. I'll still never get the controversy of Fast time Endings, Seems like everyone can agree on what time it starts....... Sabbath  at the Rubin's is always exciting, The Family is great,  the food is great, g0d is always great and the Mystery of which guests will  show, keeps one in suspense. It would be great to one day throw a party and have all the guests that have Broken Bread there, Mingling in an oasis of Brotherhood. It would be a hell of a crowd........ Asking a girl, i once dated What she was looking for. She basically said someone who will be NICE to her. Laughing it off, " That is supposed to be a given" . I think i understand her more and more, and realized that beyond all the Laundry list of things I am looking for, In a nut shell Just a girl who will be NICE to me............



Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Quoting Mark

  Twain Again "History does not repeat itself, but it does Rhyme" , The Iran Nuclear Deal perhaps  wont turn out  like the infamous Munich agreement  of 1938 with Chamberlain of England and Daladiar of France Appeasing Hitler for " Peace in our time", Or Bill Clinton Triumphantly Declaring how North Korea Program Would be Neutralized, But is sure as hell has an awful stench that can potential to  dwarf the consequences of those other periods of History....... A great and Spirited Anti- Nuclear Rally was held at Times Square. The Rally in all likelihood will have Zero Impact on the Deal, But it really was very encouraging to see over Ten Thousand People cram into a couple of Blocks. The Police made the Presumptuous assessment That everyone was on the same team, and failed to separate The Ultra anti Zionist's and the crowd. Things Started getting really ugly, until they realized they need to be cordoned off. The Highlight Alan West Great patriotic Speech, Sending the crowd into a frenzy and bringing the house down...........

Thinking Divine



 Retribution was over for my transgression at the Obese woman's Club some 18 years ago. G0d Decided that I can use more Standing up for it.  A great exchange with An Attractive Divorcee, A couple of years my Senior. Led to a planned Upper west Side date. Sympathetic to her traffic woes coming in from NJ. Plans changed,  to meet in Midtown, as she was going to take the bus, " Your not going to believe this"?  Some sort of fluke happened and she missed the bus, Not wanting her to come in later, She asked " What would it take, for you to come to NJ"?.....Hmmm Well,Knowing the answer, but unsure of how to answer it.  Negotiations were going on in my head, Evil triumphed over good and,  I Headed towards the Hudson Crossing, G0d must have been sending me a signal with the Enormous Traffic, and i never made. Exchanging some more texts, We have already arranged for a date at some point Never........

Monday, July 20, 2015

The Grammar Gestapo,


  and I , Scheduled for  Early Evening Sunday date at her hometown of Jersey City. Maybe She did not want to come into the city or maybe just maybe She will invite me... Naa... Not being able to find a spot, I parked in an open Lot, With out an attendant, preparing for the worst. I'm not specifically sure what went right on the first date, but everything pretty much went wrong on the Second, Their was awkwardness, Brief spurts of silence and several uhhhh and hmms. The Only thing consistent was that She Kept tabs on my grammar and interrupted my thoughts at every Error I made. It sure beats the hell out of silence. I Wished we would have substituted this date for the First date, that way we could have avoided this whole second date. Not sure what she saw in me, I was everything she was NOT looking for, as she 90% of what i was Not looking for, With the 10% being more important. Walking out She cracked a smile when i asked her to pray to g0d for me that my car was not towed. Wisely  The Agnostic Jew promised to pray to whomever she felt was that superior being. The Prayers were answered, and parking for free made me feel like a winner, That is Until the Holland Tunnel Traffic.........

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Benjamin




 Netanyahou famously once said " if i walked across the sea of Galilee," the Israeli papers and critics would write " Bibi can't Swim" -   I am afraid that the Iran Nuclear deal is a Fait accompli, and despite Netnayahou, Doing everything, or almost everything possible to prevent Iran from Getting the bomb, History will not be kind, and the free nations of the world will Never Ever forgive Bibi....... The reason You GO bowling and not PLAY bowling is that it is forbidden in the English Language to combine Two Verbs with out a preposition. This was the Valuable lesson I learned from my New Date Wednesday. A Stickler for language, I had a most difficult time, finishing a sentence with out being grammatically corrected. An Agnostic by Choice, Jewish by Faith, She was really cute, and had
Zero tolerance  for nonintellectual, conservative, climate change denying, Religious, Israeli's with Poor Grammar. Luckily she either thought i was funny or Attractive, otherwise she would not have seemed surprised that I would ask her out again, with her of course saying Yes, and for the first time in a very long time Their will be church on Sunday.............



Starting the



 Week  Zero for Three, it really wasn't relevant weather i was the Rejected or the ejector. I't simply meant that me and my dates did not connect for a potential Future, and in one case didn't even Connect. Needing to up my game, Impress, and increase my chances. For my next date, I went to my Ace in the hole RE for an a recommendation on a great upper east side Lounge or bar. Nineteen Minutes late my date Strolled in, looking Especially pretty, Especially Tall, Especially Hot, Especially reminding me of an Ex, and especially Impressed. " You come here a lot"? nonchalantly I replied  I've been to  Mark Hotel ( 77 and madison ) A few times before. Sitting on low Couches, She kept adjusting her Short skirt, pretending not to notice, We got off to a Vapid Start. She opened up about her passions, and Whoa, Well not that kind of Whoa, but as an accomplished Singer, and Piano player, with a love for Leonard Cohen, We Went Hallelujah, line for line, She taking the message of Faith over the lamentation of a love gone bad. She excused herself to the ladies room, and I began making conversation with our neighbors to the right  Bernie and Jane, both septuagenarian, and Jewish. He a divorce attorney, She apparently a big deal in the Trench coat designing Business.  We all Exchanged particulars, and as the conversation continued, my Date became more dismissive of me, I don't think it was purposely,and the eerie similarities to the Ex were resonating more and more. Walking her to her car, We went back to the Hallelujah, repeating the line to her then in my head several times  .....and even though it all went wrong, I'll Stand before the lord of song..... made me realize that Yeah she was right it is faith.........

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Several



   correspondence on jdate, Followed up with a few texts, Led to a Monday night Date with a captivating Blond in the union Square area. Strolling into the W hotel, Some Seven minutes late, She had little trouble spotting me, as it was either me or the Heavy Set Indian Brother sitting to my left. Her rule, never  talk about dating war stories, but mentioned how much she Loathed " Coffee Dates" Statistically guys that do those have been known to be cheap. We Spoke of nothing exciting, With plenty of Excitement and banter. Due to  her early morning commitments, She had to cut the night short, but not before I dropped a Bombshell on her. She never gave me her name, I had her stored in my phone " Jdate girl that never gave me her name", She was shocked, but not surprised and finally Asked  "If things had not gone well tonight, Would you have asked me my name" ? Ambiguously I replied " I'll Answer that, next time", Heading home in opposite directions, we both knew what that answer really meant......  

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Scheduled

  with  a Relatively, Semi Heimeshe upper west side Young lady for a Saturday night Encounter at the 8th floor Hotel Bar at the Times Square Marriott. Very late to confirm, I was ready to take my punishment like a man.  She apologized for the later reply and we sat for our religious style date, minus the chaperon  of course. Judging from her photos, It could have gone either way, and i think it may not have gone the right way on this night. Our Mutual passion of Israel, led to over Two hours of conversation of which I can Yenter it up for hours. Playing the chivalrous card, and not expecting her to take me up on the offer to drive her home, she did just that, Despite me not purposely parking a little far. Could have been that she liked me? Traffic sucked on the West side Highway, but what the hell, chivalry was not dead...........Someone Suggested that Pete Rose and Bruce Jenner Should become friends.......

Sunday, July 12, 2015

G0d is Great, G0d


 is merciful, G0d forgives and here's why.  Eighteen Years ago I transgressed by  running away from a date i was supposed to meet at the really really fat women's club in  downtown Manhattan. I knew that G0d, does not have a statue of limitations on Karma, and have been awaiting for divine retribution to kick in, and praying it wont be harsh. Messaging a really pretty girl, whose faith it didn't matter. We hit it off real quick, and with her being in  union square area,She suggested we meet. Confirming for 600-615, I suggested the " Coffee Shop" , It's got a great bar, comfortable seating, it's popular and seems to always be happening. Feeling the rage in the text "Coffee shop really", I suggested several other places in the area as her Text went silent way beyond the 615 mark. Finally at 6:43 " I am thoroughly insulted at coffee bar, Really "? My explanation of the place, fell on deaf ears, and i double down by further mentioning  other Non insulting places. In all likely hood, a better opportunity arose for her, and she pretended to be outraged, after all we knew each other a grand total of 19 Text message exchanges, granted some messages  exceeded a few lines.Lamenting being stood up over a $5 a point backgammon, The bulb went off in my head, On this day the Benevolent one Decided to pay me back for i did to that Unfortunate young lady some eighteen years,  Their were dates that  have canceled  last minute, Dates that showed up very late, heck some dates even made me Shelp their valises, but Standing me up Never. It's a relief knowing that i finally was given my long and overdue punishment........Of course I would have wanted it come, perhaps one night Earlier When I...............to be continued.........




       

Houston, We



 Sorta of have a problem. The Addicting state of online dating, may have gotten out of control. After Several lines and no numbers Exchanged, The Empire Rooftop Hotel Bar was the Venue for my Next date. The really really good news was that she must have liked my photos, and that can mean....... The Not so good news was, Her Ethnicity was ambiguous and I figured that She was probably Jewish, Due to her name Dropping the city of Naharia, When she went out there to visit. It's like visiting Sderot of the North..Meeting at Seven, The Bar wouldn't open till 830, we Settled at one of the Broadway Bars across the street. Sweating profusely, She sensed nervousness, but it was really the Lack of  air Conditionings . Mustering up the courage i Asked, How she identifies, She hesitated for a second before replying Black of course, with a really interesting twist. We spoke the language of levity, Both knowing  not to cross the line, and offending, but definite not being Politically correct. We agreed that labeling prefix- American was just silly for the record she would be African- Jamaican- Hungarian- Irish- Syrian American.  Mercifully, we ended the night, but both had a really good excuse, our disdain for Sweating. Bummer, We " forgot" to exchange numbers ohh Well........ A Nice gesture by a Restaurant in Israel to waive the bill for a couple of Soldiers with the message "Thanks for you're service it's on us".  Some comments, Bashing the place for Charging 33 NIS for a Paganini, etc, rather than the gesture . Only in Israel..............

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Not wanting to




     Attend  the wedding of a friends Sister alone, I volunteered to Chauffeur Three Lovely Ladies to Jewish Center in Old Westbury. The Girls were all pretty, made up, smelled really good, and even one of them came with her umbrella, I didn't bother asking why.  They Complimented me on Creed Cologne and insisted I didn't overdue it Shamie Style with the Sprays. We Gelled instantly, and spoke mainly of  relationship, our connection to the Bride, and how it wasn't their  fault that we were going to be there really early, Despite the Traffic. Arriving Way Way  before the ceremony, We mingled over Horus devours, and continued the small talk.  We ran into  Two Macabee TA Players Sean James, and Silvan landsberg, who could have easily passed for Plaxico Burres and Odel Beckham Jr. The Chuppa kicked off Two Hours later and despite a little rain the couple were joined in Holy Matrimony.To Bad one of the girls forgot the umbrella in my car. The Girls insisted on staying really late, and we promised to rekindle our  new friendships once we got back. Texting them to make sure they got in ok, Their was still the issue of the fancy Umbrella with the CC label on it. I Messaged Umbrella Girl that I'm in her area and,  I'll be sure to drop it off.  She thanked me graciously, and with a slight innuendo I told her that I did not want her to be pissed at me whenever she got wet, She laughed at said never. Some more exchanges led me to  nonchalantly  asking her out. " Maybe" ?, at least it wasn't a NO, We continued messaging and then she stopped, Regurgitating back to my old ways, I Stopped also, and it looks like we will be hanging out sometime Never again...........








Monday, July 6, 2015

Whenever A




  Girl, I am interested in Replies to me in similar Fashion  that I reply to girls that are interested in me ( it happens on occasion )  and I am not in them, That eerie feeling of ughh overcomes me and it's time to stop.  A Rehash with a girl, I went out with  last September, it surprised me that she reached out, and we Set on meeting at the same venue as last time.  Early as usual, It shocked  and saddened  me to see the doors shuttered at the Stone Rose Lounge at Columbus circle, turns it out they had shut down the previous night, Due to a high rent increase. Quickly improvising I got a table at the outdoor Piano bar. A Published Author, She had a lot of Exciting things going on for her, As I was Especially Excited about Two of those. I spend a very good portion of the night Interviewing her, with most of her answers being open ended and finishing with the " it depends".  A breakthrough late in the evening, not the one i was wishing for, She finally opened up and seemed like she was having fun. Dropping her off, confidently I suggested we should do this again, as she said she had a really good time and would like that. For the record,  She was of sound body and mind and not under duress when she said that. Shooting off, a thought out NON creepy  nice Text, She replied in the same way, i would reply to someone that I was NOT interested in. With a Banal and Generic " I had fun too, Good night". Not Stalkeish, But Excessive persistence, as the Great EEE would Describe it I tried again, and this time got half the answer............. No church on Sunday........ Shocking to believe that For the first time in  world financial meltdown History, This time in Greece, The Jews weren't involved.



Friday, July 3, 2015

Weighing her Options,



       
  Date #4  At Three Thirty, finally Confirmed  the 700 Monday night date, at the Loews Hotel bar on park Avenue. With So many options All Guys and girls Tentatively Schedule, With the Hopes that Something better comes, So Suffice to say I was her Best Option for that time..... She had no trouble spotting me as i was the only person not wearing a suit, and probably the poorest too. Another non Drinking date, We broke bread over appetizers, Fries. and some really great spicy Free Nut mix. We shared Story's and Bonded over our nonchalant attitude towards Social Issues.  Though She didn't find  the Hasidim gesture of Hiring Mexican Day Laborers with Traditional Hasidim Garb and signs to protest the Gay Peoples Parade Funny, of which I suggested she look at how funny the photos were. I politely and vehemently declined her offer to split the bill, and it was still  Unclear if this  Date of No choice was heading towards Bliss,or the abyss.  She Quickly answered that, by splitting as I headed to relieve myself............39 Years ago, Operation Thunderbolt, later renamed Yoni was launched. PM Yitzhak Rabin at the time Penned an Unsigned Resignation letter, Should the operation Fail.  Thankfully He Had to Resign for other reasons a few months Later......





Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Date Three

 of the Week, Began in Similar Fashion to Date Two; Murder Traffic. My Second Greatest fear, of being late was overcome as i made it to the West Village bar with a couple Minutes to spare. She looked Pretty,  Elegant, really well put together, Smelled great,had that amazing British Accent, and to put it over the top utilized the Oxford comma. With neither of us Drinking it was sodas, and Cheese platters.  A spirited discussion over the spelling of Blue Cheese, and as it turns out i was wrong and the menu Spelled it correctly Bleu, spilled over to our dating war stories, of which her's were a lil more interesting than mine. We Spoke of the IRA and then the Israeli- Arab Conflict of which i was suspicious where her sympathy's lied, Not Trying to win hearts and minds, and in a serious mode, not trying to win  the other stuff too, though it would be nice. I suggested one needs to See, and hear both narratives, but i understood that the UK is inherently Anti- Israel. She was going to go to Israel last summer, but thank's to Obama, Delta Grounded all flights for a while, she chose Brazil. It saddened me a little that we got along so well, as I was probably A little too Jewish for her, and by a lot. Leading me to think again of why even go out..... Their is an answer?..............

Sunday, June 28, 2015

The Beatings Will



      Continue, until the Moral Improves... For the Second Straight Weekend the Rains came to the People of Deal. Much like the People of the ancient City of Ninveh, They are called upon to repent from their  Wicked ways and debauchery, if they don't want to incur the wrath of the Rain man Trick's prayers Which can bring a washout to the Jersey Shore community for the Summer. I hope very much  like the people of Ninveh, whom Heeded Jonah's call to Repent, The People of Deal will do the same, and enjoy Beautiful Weather for the rest of the Summer weekends........A few Disturbing things about the NBA draft. Firstly according to the commentators every player is going to be a great Addition and asset to his new team, It's time to cut the chord on the PC plug. It's amazing how every is an expert about every player, With out hardly seeing any of these players play. Basically Everyone is repeating the talking points of the " Experts" and arguing them back and forth, With out knowing crap. Finally how can they Sell tickets to the Draft, Have they No Shame? I remember going to my first Draft as a Broke 15 Year old in 1988 at the felt forum. Danny Manning the Player of the year from Kansas was the Top pick. Injuries Plagued what could have been a great career, But his most memorable Moment was shooting 0-4 in the Semi- Finals against the Russians at the Summer Olympics in Seoul, Korea. The Americans Lost...........





 

Thursday, June 25, 2015

From 0 to



      Still 0, The first date of the week had to cancel as she felt it was unfair if we met when she wasn't herself, due to the lack her having to put Graduation Performance shows at her Non Air conditioned school. Funny thing I believe her, She is after all from the Midwest. The Second date I kind of wish   had air conditioning issues, not that she wasn't a nice person, but being forced to carry a conversation with a completely disinterested girl, in Hebrew, made me consider that the traffic i was sitting in to get to the city wasn't  so bad after all. The Hair guy from Gideon's Set me up with her, and what I should have realized is that NOTHING good ever came out of that place for me... Maybe not nothing but that was so long ago.......... My Insurance Expiring was The Motivation to go See an Ear.Nose and Throat Dr, Despite not having any ENT issues. After a 24 Minute wait, and a $50 copay, I saw the Dr for roughly 75 Seconds, he Stuck a tube in my Ear, Looked at my throat, And told me I'm Fine. The last time I spent money that lasted that long, was well will leave that story for another time. The final Spike of the football and F U i got from the Gideon's.....

Sunday, June 21, 2015

From 0 to Potentially




 Four potentially serious  dates in less than an hour. With the online game being the only game in town, a couple of calls from left field, may produce a couple of dates, in addition to perhaps some serious get together from the online world. Of course in a matter of Moments it can all go back to Zero again, but I've learned that " you cant dry clothes, with yesterday's Sun". gotta Keep it moving........It Either makes me wonder, or I had nothing else to do on the Subway. Why would they put a pole in the middle of the 6 person average size Bench. It cuts off about 2-3 inches of seat space which is pretty big considering the "Average" size of the people. Just as a coincidence their were Seven Woman sitting in My lane, Four across, Three on my side, I was the Skinniest of  all of them, and  Six of them it wasn't close. The Yiddish Proverb States " one who surrounds himself with dwarf's, Does not make him a Giant". Also applicable to the Weight category............Remember the Altalena  06.22.48........ The Raciest and Horrific Shooting at the Black Church in SC, was a horrible story, I find it senseless for the media to start calling the Killer's diary a Manifesto and publishing it
 They did the same crap with another Killer -  The only Person that had a Manifesto is Karl Marx, Seriously What the............

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Sulemyan Demirel,


 The Former Turkish PM and President, when asked to summarize Turkey in one Word " Good"  and if you asked me in two  words " Not Good".   That's Exactly the words, I would  use to describe  David Blatt's Season with the Cavs. It felt Blatt, Was content just being there and did not make the right adjustments to give his team the best chance to win.. A great question was asked " Would you rather lose the finals, or not even make it in the playoffs"?.. something to ponder...........

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Thanks to the Israeli Rabbinate



none of us will be hearing the two greatest words in sports GAME SEVEN. The reason GS will win in Six, is To avoid the Sabbath Desecration of Game Seven being played on Friday Night. They also Suggested Blatt not Play Dellavadova So much..... Thanks to a case of Being " Under the Weather", my Jswipe date will be postponed to   a Time to be Determined  a Euphemism for Never..........Speaking of Jswipe, they Must be doing something to the Photos, Their is an abundance of Really pretty girls.  Unfortunately, besides the conversation being flat and banal, Alot of the girls are "Manahattan Snobby" so the conversation generally Ends with the "ohh you're from Brooklyn" ........ Really looking forward the Mass Exodus of Syrian Jewry to their Holiest city of Deal. I know some people in Honi the Meagayel Fashion that pray for rain their on weekends,but of course that's for drought purposes, and not for people to be miserable.........

Saturday, June 13, 2015

George Orwell wrote in "1984",

(op-ed)  Countering the BDS
by Father McKenzie
 

               " Those who control the present, control the past". The  State of Israel has faced Many challenges since it's birth in 1948. Calls for its annihilation, Wars, Terror attacks, Arms Embargo by allies, The  Arab Boycotts, and the everyday threat to a people, that have not experienced a single Moment of Peace since the fulfillment of the Return to Zion Prophecy. The Jewish State today is faced with perhaps it's greatest and most challenging threat yet, and that's the Delegitmization effort, Spearheaded by the radical Arab Group Known as the BDS ( Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions) this hubris organization  has spread like Wildfire amongest  Sanctimonious groups across the United States and Europe. It's a little perplexing to Understand How Israel  unites Extreme groups from all angles of the Spectrum. The Radical Extreme Muslims,The Moderate Arabs, Extreme Right wingers who Still believe of the Jewish Plot to take over the world, Gays and Lesbians,  every single Nominal Social justice "Jewish" Group or person that Hasn't gotten enough attention in their Synagogue ( Lesbionic woman over 50, or Descendants of Shoa Survivors etc..) With the clear aim  Destroy the Jewish State. Only to be fair not all Express those views in the Open.
                        What I feel the Israel's need to do to circumvent the tide of this Raciest and vile Campaign is firstly stop Apologizing. The Famous Saying in Israel is " When an Israeli Sneezes, The Arab Catches a cold". BDS, has successfully been able to infuse their narrative that  in 1948 the " Big Bad Zionists wolves " came out of nowhere rummaged through Palestine, Committing abhorrent massacres and Expelled the indigenous People, in what is know as the Naqba or Catastrophe. Then in June 1967, The Israelis further continued with their Expansionist colonist plan that fueled a Knock out Victory against their hapless  Enemies that led what has become known as the Naqusa or the Setback. This of course led to a "Brutal Military Occupation" That has been Suffocating a Defenseless people for Forty Eight years. Furthermore we hear about " Apartheid" , Settlement Expansion  and Raciest laws being implemented against the Arabs. Through the University's The Arabs have seized control of the media, and thus allowed  History to be rewritten to Achieve their ultimate Aim, They will Omit that the Partition plan Gave the Jews the Baron and Shithole Negev Desert, That was the majority of the territory that allowed them to create the State, No one will hear about the Six invading Arab Armies, Plus the Arab irregulars, fighting the Jews, and Promising Massacres that would dwarf the Mongolian invasion. The June War of 1967 that Threatened the Existence of the Jewish State, that  No Israeli wanted. Then  Arab league Declaration of the Three No's Etc..  A young impressionable social Justice Seeking Liberal is only aware of the Big bad Zionist wolf Syndrome and it's History's Obligation to correct that.
               Another Point That has not been tapped into is to challenge the Boy-cotters, and run a campaign on Everything Israeli or Zionist Supported. From Agriculture, Technology, Arts, Medicine, Bushiness and commerce, and Entertainment. Advocate the BDS to not just pick and choose what they want to Boycott, but insist they Boycott EVERYTHING, this should not be up for debate, Don't pick on the Small Winery in Judia  and Samaria, but attack the Nobel Prize Winners, attack those Evil Zionist Supporters whose contributions to the world, Challenge them to be 100% Bigots and not just whatever Bigotry suits them. As a gesture of Good will, return the favor by Boycotting Whatever it is they contributed, perhaps Tabouli Salad, Hummus and maybe Sand. The Jewish  State Perceived and flourished despite all the various different threats to it's existence, and this Threat will only endure the same fate, but needs to be confronted........" The Eternity of Israel, Will never lie"- Samuel-1  15:29 



When the Cavs




           win, Lebron is the coach, when they lose it's that Bleeping Blatt.... I can't see Cleveland winning Despite Lebron being the best player on the court. It's as if the Cavs get the first pick and then Golden State gets the Next Seven. I think Cleveland Should have JR Smith play on the ball more,  and  also on Jame's Side. I'd  try to get him 20-25 Shots  It's the Hail Mary Option,but at this stage I  think their other option is the Masada one......... It felt like " Old Week ", getting in all Doctors appointment, But with my Insurance running out at the end of the month, i figured to get my money's worth as I debate weather to Sign up for new insurance. Complaining of Peeing too much, My Dr Suggested I do a sonogram on my Ball Sack. It was a little Uncomfortable That a  Middle aged Heimishe Persian Woman was handling my Sack. What made it  worse was her asking me to push as if I was constipated, luckily i was, so their were no accidents, but some loud farts Slipped out on a couple occasions, Which made it a lil more Awkward , Thank G0d they weren't smelly....... Question of the Day - Should i invite one of my friends to be my date for an upcoming Wedding? The only issue, What if One of us, probably me wants to leave Early. I have a couple girls in mind..........


Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Hijacking


my phone the great EEE, took it upon himself to message my Friend whose name rhymes with Risa, professing my unrequited love for her. This Love of course does not exist, but EEE, insists it's Destiny Especially After the Song of Songs Sign, when I first met 5 years ago. She laughed off the text and asked who is EEE.......It's a little disconcerting to see People criticizing the State department and the Obama Administration for not Recognizing Jerusalem as Part of Israel.It's been American Policy since the inception of the State in 1948, and not something Obama should be signaled out for..... After Golden State is going to win the championship, Steve kerr is going to be praised for having the Brains and courage to bring David Lee into the Rotation. Lee is the only Consistent Warrior big man,who is a match up nightmare for the Cavs. He plays an instrumental role in the pick and roll Offense. He Screens well, opens up, Makes great decisions, passes the hell outta the ball, Finishes, Rotates, and makes players around him better. What the Hell took Kerr So long to figure that out? Wont be the question asked, but just a lot of praise for the coach for "finding" the right Mix of players that will deliver the warriors their first championship in Forty Years..........

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Since "Bad Decision Week",



 Festival was so successful last week, It was decided that it'd be granted one more day. Not Sure what would posses me to meet up with a Mid Thirties Mutt of Ecuadorian and Persian Descent, Whom i suspected was in her earlier forties,  Actually I am pretty Sure what would posses me, but that's not the point. We spoke briefly over the phone, I found her accent sort of hot, and we scheduled to meet in the city. Sitting at Barbounia on PAS, We had some drinks and appetizers, though i would hardly call the Octopus she had ate an Appetizer. The conversation main event was Religion, as i was more than happy to explain to her about the Hasedeem and other Jewish Sects, and she about the differences between Protestant and Catholics. The conversation got a little offensive and uncomfortable when she alluded that she Knew How Jews are, and How she can tell who was Jewish. Jokingly I confronted her and asked How are We? and asked her to identify other Jews in the Place. "No one is wearing the Yellow Star"?. I didn't think she had a particular dislike for Jews, but for certain would not put them on the top of her favorite's. I also believed that the language barrier prevented her from expressing things in the right light. Walking her to the subway, In a truly Jap form she complained about her feet hurting from the high heels,  the Rain, and coming into the city specially for ME.  Bad decision came knocking, and  My crappy conscience was suckered into driving the 10 Miles out of the way to Flushing. Could have been worse, but not by that much.......... Canary Mission is a new  FB page that exposes and shames all the Anti-Semitic activists





 

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Bad Decision Week,


( Boring Post )
  Concluded, with me Paying $499.99   for a VIP ticket to attend the Annual  Jerusalem Post conference at the Times Square Marriot.  Could it have been worse than driving out with Jack Intl, a shady Israeli Businessman , to a Warehouse that was Fifteen Minutes off the Verrazano, only to travel an additional 60  miles South and then See Absolutely NOTHING, or maybe perhaps ordering Something from a person whose heritage Rhymes with Speminight, and then find out, that It's Easier for me to discard the product, than stock it......After Registration, The Good news came in the form of these chocolate chip muffins that the whole muffin was chocolate chip, and not just the top. Following the introduction, Ronald Lauder, Spoke generically about the need for a Two State Solution, and the combating of the BDS movement. Treasury Secretary Jack Lew followed and every time he mentioned the name OBAMA, it's as if it was Haman Name read in the Megillah, he was Raucously booed. Yuval Stiementz, a Netnayahou cabinet member generically  answered The Host's Questions, and was followed Yesh Atid Chairman Yair Lapid, who spoke of the need of US and Arab League Intervention for Peace, As well as Equating the BDS movement to Antisemitism. Seemed like he was making a Pitch to be the Next PM. The Panel followed and it was a head to head battle Between Caroline Glick and Uzi Dayan another Bibi Ally against Former Mossad Head Meir Dagan and Former Chief of Staff Gabi Ashekenazi, The Issue Iran, and when Glick accused them Both of disobeying Bibi's orders to prepare a military solution, The Gloves came flying off. The Rest of the program was much to do about nothing, More Antisemitism Rhetoric,With out real solutions   and  about the Jewish National Fund. Dudu Fisher performed a couple songs, and was followed by an Ad-lib Speech by  mayor Guiliani Speech,Which garnered a standing ovation. Overall Lunch was really good, the Muffins were really good, but really nothing New here to see.... To Summarize  The  true pessimist, When faced with Two Bad Options, Decides to take Both. I opted for the Hat Trick........





Saturday, June 6, 2015

Scheduling,



 to meet up on Sunday With the Perky West Philly girl, I had to delay to due the Zionist Parade Wearing me out. Taking my nephew and then my Niece We spend a good portion of the parade walking, and me trying to explain to them why the ultra Haradeim, protesters  Were vehemently Anti Israel;  they didn't get it....... Playing the Accommodating role, I suggested we meet in her Area, So it would be easier for her. Of course, She knew i was lazy to plan, but none the less liked the Plan. The Chemistry from the previous date, Completely  Evaporated, and I was noticing she  didn't really appreciate or care for a lot of my Idiosyncrasy's . The Hot topics were religion and Honesty , and when I confessed to being an accomplice in Stealing Pliers from a Sears, Some Twenty five years ago, She inquired as to why? To Steal Street Signs ?. I mentioned my Swedish fish Theft  at Costco, The Ketchup from  AP, and certainly my  father's Justification that the " Tasting" Nuts and Seeds from the Bails at the Supermarkets or groceries, is permissible, Because they already configured it into the cost. Not Exactly Thrilled, that my character was under attack, or maybe she was joking I chose not to Defend myself, figuring their was no point, As we were heading no where. Texting me the next day  if We " Were broken up again" We both laughed it off and went the route of  " Friends"..............





Wednesday, June 3, 2015

The First Week




     of June marks a lot of important dates in the Calendar.... 1982 Operation "Peace for The Gallile" - The war of  NO CHOICE that led to the resignation of  Menachem Begin...... 1981 Operation Opera- The destruction of the Iraqi Tammuz Reactor   ......1967 Hail Mary Plan Operation Focus or  Moked and the Liberation and unification of Jerusalem. To My Arabian Friends a Happy NAQSA........ 1968 The Assassination of Robert Kennedy  By Sirhan Sirhan Sirhan....... Picking up my Father, From Kennedy Airport, proved to be a little challenging. Arriving a little early, I had to circle around the Terminal on Three occasions, With each time proving to be more Tricky than the next. Suspecting my Father's phone was in Plane mode, Actually certain it was, as his messages and Calls were not going through. I was resigned to parking and going inside the terminal to find him. Several minutes later the search was over, he had no idea how the hell his phone got to Plane mode, let alone what Plane mode  was. Surprisingly he was calm...........



Monday, June 1, 2015

The Tinder End




      Around Tax Day, I concluded Reform girl week, With the Perky East Philly Girl. Her lack of sensitivity , made our conversations really great, However when i didn't follow up  after date one, it left her perplexed and somewhat agitated,  After a Three week Break, We matched again on Tinder, and figured Better late than never. Their is a really great Bar/lounge  that just opened by The Seaport called Industry Kitchen. We broke break and drank, and it seemed like the conversation continued where it left off. She felt i was ditching her when  said i have to feed my Meter, but I insisted she come with me, We continued to the next bar for more drinks, but not wanting my judgment to be deterred. I ordered another Beer, but didn't even attempt to reach for it. Really tired, She invited me to see her Dog, and perhaps maybe her....... One thing led to another and things started heating up, before Cooler heads prevailed, mainly mine both the big and little... Sensitive to the fact that She thinks I ditched her, of which i See things in a different light, We shall be breaking bread again....... I greatly value the honesty of  friends. I may have mentioned it before but some compare me to me portly MLB commentator John Kruk, but when one of friends recommended i speak to someone, it left me confused and a bit agitated. Reflecting about it later, Maybe I do need help to combat Atelophobia........14 years ago  to the Dolphinarium  night club  Bombing,  killing  twenty one Israelis, Mostly Teenagers..........















Wednesday, May 27, 2015

It always felt



  Unfair for me to determine weather I am a good person or not, But after tonight I think I have a better indication of that. Regurgitating an old Tinder Match, We decided to meet up for a quick drink in the Mil Basin Area. She mentioned prior, of being somewhat impaired,  due to a Stress related Stroke Suffered Ten years earlier. Not thinking much of it, The Minute she got into my car, that's all i can think about.  Her Speech was slurred and hoarse, and immediately I shifted gears from question asking, to a generalized soliloquy. Driving around looking for a place to have drinks, My amiability     completely belied my Thoughts, and all i really wanted to do is just go home, of which i kept asking myself  Why?  Why not compliment her more?, Why not make her feel better  Even to the point of   dis-ingeniousness. She smoked her Newport's, in the car on the ride home, it didn't really matter . She really put things in to perspective and I admired her fortitude. Driving home, I knew not only that i could've shown her a better time, But Should've, and didn't...... It depressed me to think, that now I can determine that No, i am not .....



 s.

Monday, May 25, 2015

Trying to Salvage


 The night, I took The advice of Sudan Brother, which is to  not give a damn I messaged Plan B to see if it  wasn't to late to meet up for drinks, as i would make the short ride across the Midtown Tunnel to Astoria. A Russian Debutante, her photos were really great and she was very cheerful, honest and outspoken . I love World politics but clearly wasn't that interested as to why Russia needed to Annex or occupy the Crimea. We sat at a really Extraordinaire Beer Lounge in Astoria, and  The Discussion Shifted towards the Cold War,She found my insight to world affairs Impressive, but clearly not that Impressive, and as the evening wind down, I was on my way to Glasnost and  Persetroika , but It's gonna take a hell of a long time to achieve. The Back end of the doubleheader, went a little better than the front , but I was still shut out with the results slightly less painful
  .












Friday, May 22, 2015

Doubleheader Disaster




             With the Pentecost Weekend Coming, the window of opportunity to meet up with a couple of girls was slowly closing.  Not wanting to drag out conversations further, I tentatively scheduled or didn't schedule Two Get together's and waiting to hear from the Young ladies to confirm. One confirmed and one regrettably my account locked out, so I couldnt  reach her. The Good news, The Bar at Loews Hotel on Park and 61st is a great Date venue, with an insane people view .The Not so, Where to begin....Walking in, She resembled her photos and looked younger that her mid 30's age,  she was waiting on the couch and motioned for me. She clearly was disinterested from the start and After exchanging particulars, I found myself filibustering,  Midas well have been reading the phone book, cause i don't even know what the hell i was saying, Except for maybe agreeing with her about our mutual disdain for the Zabars Eating Liberal Jews. The right play at this time was to motion for the check, and It's always awkward, when a date goes wry, so euthanasia is usually  best way to go, But to her credit i think she chose to suffer just as much as i did. Wishing her a Happy Pentecost, i bombed with " Why the Jews got the Torah" Joke, which only seemed right for this night. Perhaps a little rude, I didn't offer to drop her off home, as i lied telling her i parked a few blocks down the other way, Even though i was parked right in front.... The Date lasted around 75 minutes, But felt like being on the losing side of a 15-0 9 inning rain delay game..................






   



Thursday, May 21, 2015

The Cave



 On McDonald ave is An Albanian Establishment, not to be confused with Russian. The Shapely Soviet Expat was explaining to me over Drinks and muscles. With out any real hope for a future, the Immediate future seemed more promising, through out our conversation, She had a keen sense to diagnose people with all sorts of mental illness's, and I again was glad to fool her that I am normal.   She did notice me sweating through out the night, but that was due to the lack of air conditioning. I was envious of her stalkers, as i never really had one, but definite not the gangster that was obsessed with her. The Description, made me especially leery that he was watching me. Pondering the immediate future over a second hand smoke, Their was no light at the end of the Short tunnel...... For the record i did not eat the muscles.........  Excited to use the new product Freshnu, which is a foam You Spray on the toilet paper in Lew of wipes, My luck of course left me constipated for the last two and half days..........My Hockey Knowledge is at a minimum, but would it be unfair to compare Ranger Rick Nash to ARoid ?

Saturday, May 16, 2015

No News



 is not that bad. With out any prospects for dates in Two Weeks. Out of the blue a text from the Bodacious and shapely Soviet Expat. We exchanged some texts, Especially about me not being bipolar or Mentally Insane, and What the hell Let's go out again.............Har habayit Beyadenu - the Three most important words declared in Modern Jewish History. A Quick fun fact- a few Years prior the liberation of Jerusalem, Army Chaplain Shlomo Goren, in conversation with then at the time Golani Commander Mota Gur, Declared that he would be the first to Enter the Old City of Jerusalem. Gur replied that if he wanted his prophecy to come true, he then must follow Orders from Him, as he would be on the front lines to enter the old city. True to form they were both sitting on the outskirts of the city,  Gur with the Paratroopers now were waiting for orders to go in. Goren Pressed Gur and told him that " History and the Jewish people would never forgive him if he didn't enter the old city and liberate it" . A Native Jerusalemite , Gur finally got the call and then proclaimed to the world the Temple mount is in our hands...... Happy Jerusalem Day.........

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Lately,



 I've been having conversations with Girls, Where it seems like its a really really good idea to get together, Until it seems like it's really really not. Understanding to How the game is played, I just know how to get Dumped or ditched. Not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, I just tune out of conversations and Keep postponing until the once promising idea, Becomes ephemeral, and the girl get's it, to my credit I get it right away when a girl is not interested........ Yesterday was a great day for all the great mothers out there. I truly Appreciate my mom, Especially for her bluntness and telling me I got Fat. The Monday following  is officially MotherF#&$ers day, dedicated to the Scumbags and dregs of Society, they too Deserve a day....... Attending a Satamr Hasdic Wedding was a  real sociological Experience, Attending it with Barafi the Ultra Shamie , and Indian Sam made it a Sociological Experience on Steroids. Barafi Downed a Bottle and half of wine, and insisted he could have downed another bottle easily, While Indian, whose every other word happens to be MothaF#c$a, didn't disappoint. The Ceremony is done outside, and the Bride whom was covered from head to toe and veiled walked around the Groom Seven times. She looked like a White Ninja, but was especially fit...




Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Getting back to me?


    Roughly a week after our conversation, The Bodacious and  Shapely Woman from the Old Soviet Block,  Decided to go with her gut and believe that I am not Bipolar and have a history of mental illness and retardation . Flattered by that notion, We got together at a very Empty Sheesphead bay Bar and restaurant. A little under the weather, It was a bad case of food Poisoning,  from what she deemed was a very non kosher Lobster, She was impressively Witty with some interesting Ideas. Clearly not a match for the Future, I don't believe she saw me as a match for the present. She had some Fascinating stories and observations and even complimented me on being well spoken and articulate, Really?  We went through the motions of the one and done dates, and that left me to ponder  That I am  not  good enough for hooking up ....... But maybe good enough for something more......What's next is the 30 day Dating disabled list........ "What if you knew her and found her dead on the ground"?... 45 years to Kent State. 05/04/70...



Sunday, May 3, 2015

I can't really,




             answer what Drove me to go out to Queens last week,  Not because of lack of Transparency, But more so for What the hell is the matter with me?.  Perhaps not being of sound body or mind, but more so of a weak Personality that can not just  say No,  The Ride was hellish as it took me almost two hours,through traffic and of course the fender bender on the LIE. Not being able to park I asked the  very confident and Ultra curvaceous Older woman if she can meet me outside and we can go somewhere else. Ravenous and cranky due to my Diet, (that is not working), traffic and the fender bender. The good news is she really liked me, the bad news She really liked me. Not feeling it, of course i couldn't tell her, So i chose the Be a little evasive and hope things would fade. Things did get a little interesting during the course of conversations During the week  and was really appreciative at her flattering me. She correctly criticized me for not courting her, i Understood and Sent her What i felt was a fair text that I appreciated her and that I didn't feel we were great for each other. A little Spurious but True, I can write a blog of how many times girls told me that. Her reply, I felt was Speculative and harsh and chose to let her have the last word........

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Woman of the former

  Iron Curtain ask the Darndest Questions, Do I have Mental Issues? Bipolar? History of Family Craziness? If i did does she really think i would confess to it , I left it at I'm probably a lil Nutty, but of course in a fun way. She'll get back to me..........Just about to Head out for a Get together with an attractive Older woman the text comes " Hi.....I'm very sorry to cancel so late, but I've changed my mind.. Not sure we are the right fit for one another. I'm sorry so late...." Duh, Was their any doubt we were?  I  wished her the best of luck in finding what she was looking for..... How do you determine whose first in line, When people Start assembling outside a Citi Bank a few Minutes before it opens? Their were Seven of us waiting, I was the Third person for sure. Their were Four tellers when the Bank opened, I had to wait on line... Who cares?......

Monday, April 27, 2015

A Week into my Diet,




  The only thing i seem to be losing is hair, Maybe it's time to wave the white flag in this never ending Weight loss battle...... My Trip to Queens Sunday afternoon was stalled, due to a side Swiping incident on the LIE, the driver who hit me to his credit Stopped, and checked to see if all was OK. For me this is already the 4th Mishap with this Cursed Vehicle. Stepping outside to Survey the damages of which seemed to only be a  Scratched up side Bumper. We exchanged information, and he offered me 300- 400 in cash. The Typical Standard Israeli always over inflates the damage and the bargaining starts at at least 500.  I declined his offer,doubting the damage was that high, and told him I'll check it out. Here is the dilemma, My whole bumper would probably need to be repainted, when my lease is up, and should they just repaint that area, it wouldn't match the rest of the bumper. With a clear conscience can i ask for money for something that Needs to be done eventually, and if I ask for Money Whats a fair amount?  A better Question to ask Why  the Hell Was I going to Queens?........Congratulations to the Munster's  on the birth of a baby girl,  no Bris  Which translates to No gift.........



Sunday, April 26, 2015

History Does not



  Repeat itself, it just Rhymes. After last Saturday night's fiasco with the Shiksa Sensation, who completely blew me off, by ignoring all my corresponding texts. The Same circumstances were drawn up for this Saturday night, with the exception that she was Very much Jewish like me. Exchanging texts, of looking forwards, which by the way is probably the biggest crock of....... The Correspondence Stopped. Never over messaging, A late Friday Afternoon, 90th minute Text - Something better came up, get lost and take a hike. Oops typo  She had am Awful 24 hour virus, and wanted to see if we can reschedule? " Absolutely For sure, must be the weather, Shabbat Shalom "She thanked me for understanding, we have tentatively Scheduled for Never. Their is some other things cooking, They just not be Really Kosher..........A  fait accompli,  It maybe a coincidence, but I've noticed that all people who put their Syrian Yarmulke folded and on  the top of their heads happen to be douche bags. I always wondered if they all got together to plan it that way...........


Wednesday, April 22, 2015

In Israel


 In order to be a realist, one must believe in Miracles (DBG) . Happy 67th to the Zionists.........  It Took President Harry Truman 11 minutes to recognize the provisional Jewish government as the De facto government of the State of Israel..... What took so long?..... Not Sure who to root against more The Rockets or Mavs, They Both cut Israelis  Omri Casppi and Gal Mekel........



Reprinted:

 TEN THINGS ISRAELI
10.) The Rowdy and vociferous clapping when the wheels touch down at Ben Gurion 
9.) Black Tie Events Include Jeans and Sneakers 
8.)You Never have to worry about Cursing at any Venue TV/ Radio/ Events/ Weddings etc All Are uncensored in Hebrew English and Arabic
7.) EHHHH EHHHH EHHHHH EHHHHH
6.) The Strip Clubs have Mezuzot
5.)  The White Gym Socks at any Social Event are and will always be in Style
4.) You Can pretty much pee where ever you want
3.) Israeli Scalpers are really Really honest
2.) Being Bar Mitzvah Entitles you the right to buy Cigarettes, Beer and Porn
1.) Home To the Worlds Greatest outdoor Party kotel plaza- Jerusalem


A) For the country that Invented the great Navigation system WAZE,  It will never beat the Wonderful directions of the Pointing  " Here Or There" by the great people


Tuesday, April 21, 2015

The Listerine Toe



        of Reform girl iii  unhealed, She asked if  it were OK to Meet her in LIC, and she wear sneakers. This Seemed way to easy, But of course. The Town is Extraordinaire, beautiful apartment Buildings, on the Water front over looking Manhattan. No Sneakers, She was dolled out, and looked like She came off the set of Some  LI Housewives show, She had the really great accent to. Over the course of Drinks, I listened, and listened about her work, her Wild times, and of course her Lesbian friends. She was overtly animated, but especially interesting, and I was counting on being rewarded for my Exceptional listening skills. Chatting more about her toe, and showing concern  in front of her Building, I knew that it was Now or Never, She didn't invite me up.......Never won..........

Saturday, April 18, 2015

G0d Decided not


 to wait to much longer to get back at me. After getting a really nice text from the Shiksa Sensation, I followed it up with some better ones. Not responding to any of my Texts, I contemplated calling , Maybe girls didn't like it only when guys text?  but how about an acknowledgement text ? Maybe their was something wrong? Maybe she came to her senses after drinking So much Wednesday night? It became pretty clear, That I wont be advancing to the next round. I do appreciate, when people tell me the  "it's her loss" line, But that's almost as good as telling Someone, that there team played good after losing by a lot.......... Rena is the only one whose been Honest with me when she told That I got Fat, When One hears that from his own Mother, You know it's a serious problem.............

4 outta 5



  Rabbis would NOT object, if they saw the girl that i was meeting up with Wednesday night. This was a classic One- Sixteen match up and I thrilled to be at the Big Dance.  Nursing an Amstel light at a upfront table in a  upscale PAS bar/ Restaurant  for over forty minutes waiting, The last text i got from her was 10 minutes and that was over half hour. Could this be Karma for me Standing up a girl once in the nineties whom asked me to meet her at a downtown club, and unbeknownst to me was a club for Obese woman or to be more PC BBW.  It was me and several Little Black Guys, I panicked and ran away. Evolved since then I figured it took G0d a little while to pay me back for my past transgression.  G0d apparently is saving that for later, Kyrie elesion she looked really Hot and  after a short apology, Everything that one hopes for to happen on a first date happened, that is of course till i dropped her off home, and that didn't happen. She was Pretty, attentive, Funny, Got a perfect score in math on her SAT, Affectionate Sweet, and not very Jewish, But the fact that she was forced to have a Jewish Calendar for work Koshered the situation. She invited me to a Games night on Saturday with a bunch of people, Seems like I am heading to the round of Thirty Two.............




Wednesday, April 15, 2015

The Slut Phase?



    Reform Week Extended into one more date, This time with a perky,and bubbly East Philadelphian Semi Young lady.  After probably my greatest Tinder conversations not involving Woman who like to have their ... She chose her home turf, and my old turf the financial District for drinks. The Conversation continued from where we left off, with brief interjections of shared Stories. She was telling me of a Woman Acquaintance whom recently got Divorced, and has been on a tear having as much Sex as possible, and it was normal cause it was her " Slut Phase". Thinking it was only a guy thing, I asked if she was in that Phase some 10 years after she got divorced, She Would of had Sex with me Ten Years ago, and how about now? She laughed it off and Wished me a good night. Certainly not looking to hook up, but clearly not against my religion, this night was truly not different than any other night .Religion levels Would probably curtail any hopes of a future.As Reform Week comes to a close, it's time to look beyond that to a really really promising Shiksa week...... ...........Explaining to the great EEE, How dating works in 2015, He was unimpressed as he kept on persisting to get me the Number for the Really fit with girl with the, Some Buts. " Great, I'll text her next week, Will set up something local" . Aghast, he not only insisted, I call. but call that same Night.  Arguing back and forth, It felt as if we were negotiating A cease fire to the church of the Nativity Stand off of 2002. We haven't reached the conclusion to the Standoff, but EEE, is pissed.  In my defense, His track  record with me has not been good. He set me twice, Once a  date on the nine days  with a Religious Russian girl, That Midas well  have been on Tisha Be Av, and once with a young lady that I cut my thumb on a cheap Chinese umbrella, and began bleeding profusely, Where it was unclear what was worse the bleeding or the Date..........

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Reform Week Part iii


Concluded with a Matinee Date at Midtown Hotel Lounge and bar called POD39.  Hobbling, Due to Listerine falling on her toe,she strolled in  around Five Minutes late, made up well and Smelling like roses. Enjoying her personality, She had youthful exuberance and insatiable curiosity to the odd and Obscure. She had a keen sense to observations, and was good at sensing if someone was out for a hook up. The Jury was out on me, as she did catch me staring at her boobs on several occasions. always fumbling to cover them up. Continuing to Fake sip my jack and water, I took a long slurp, as she was talking about her Lesbian Friends( the good ones. i asked )  in park slope, who wanted her to go with them to a Lesbian Mud Wrestling event, Something i would shave several years off my life to  attend.. It was time to get back to work, or in my case to Usher in the 7th day of Passover, With the prospects of Church on Sunday very promising .......Someone who doesn't pray the evening prayers, Should not be allowed to participate in the OMER. So Due to self  imposed Religious Violations, I have been put on OMER probation This Season........ The "To Much time on you're hands fun fact of the week" Their are 19 Pizza wheels in a small bag of the Osem Bissili totaling 140 calories. If you're scoring at home, that's roughly 7.36 calories per Wheel..........Lauren Hill the courageous 19 year old college basketball player passed away from Brain Cancer This week. She was one of the great reasons why we sometimes love sports ...

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

It always Scares



         
   
            me to be the only car parked on a block, even when all signs and arrows indicate its legal.  Reform Girl #2 was already inside the 54th Street Bar, when i walked in. The Reaction This time was if we Hit that Three to tie the game. Her reaction  to me on the other hand....But I will say this she did contact me first and my photos are very recent. An Avid runner, She was especially fit, With good features and Pretty. The place was crowded and loud, and I insisted we sat at a table even if it meant having to order food. The Plan for date #2 was much of the same, order a drink, stir it here and there and make believe to be drinking Hoping she would excuse herself so i can spill some of it. Either She had the personality of a Fly or She really found me repulsive. It was pulling teeth trying to formulate a conversation. She didn't seem to want to play,and it affected me very negatively. I ordered of all things a Bacon, and cheddar sandwich, with Fries and Mashed Potatoes. Probably because it was the cheapest thing on the Menu, and asked her if she wanted to take it home,.She loved Bacon, but found the idea of Eating bread on Passover Revolting. Continuing to fumble for conversation. I Sounded like Levi Eshkol Delivering his speech to the Israeli public a couple days prior to the Six Day War. Finally a Spark lit, When she told me in Hebrew " Ben Zona. lech Tzdayen" - you Son of a Bi$#ch  God F#%uck Yourself, it wasn't directed at me, But oddly I really wished it was. At least It would have been a reaction. After a little more than an hour, the night mercifully ended, She did answer my question  that it is  worse to eat non kosher for Passover on Passover than non kosher year round.........



Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Reform Week.....



             
     With Three Reform girls, on the Schedule for Passover Week, I had to make sure to be extra careful on Hametz, and that included Yeast.  Waiting  With nervous excitement in front of the Charles Dickens Novel Like lounge on 89th Street, My thought was this girl has to be better than the last girl I met here. The Second she turned the corner and made her way towards me, I froze, If felt as if i were a coach watching one of my players go in for a lay-up at the buzzer, except we needed a Three to tie the game. She did mention she was in the worst shape of her life, and she was not kidding. We ordered Drinks and managed to have a Spirited conversation. It was unclear to me weather she realized  That I did not pick up my drink not to violate the Passover and be Struck down.  We were both really  rooting for Wisconsin, and hoped that at least that would salvage the night, but the game turned out to go about as well as our date except it lasted much more longer........ In Egypt , It doesn't matter who and how many people vote. What matters is who counts the votes. When Duke Plays it doesn't matter who they play, but rather who officiates...... I am Still wishing that Mike Krzyewski  turns into the next Bill Cosby..