Sometimes

   I check out the overseas girls section Online. Beyond asking for Green card or to pay their phone bills or bail them out of a northern Israeli prison  they are smart enough to avoid me ,When I mention I'll be In Israel,  " yeah it would be great to meet up" . Sometimes the overseas Girls section contacts me, generally not the good part of the section, but I am always cordial and utter that same "yeah it would be great to meet up" whenever you're in NY. Jim McKay's dad Taught him that in life generally you're greatest fears are seldom realized - Well tonight they are. I hate pulling the under the weather card, cause I know it's going to get me back, But Ill comply and pull it out over the course of our meeting. In Reality Can it be worse than meeting up with someone who made me miss The Hatikva at the macabbi Game or the girl that looked like Aunt Ethel not 50 years ago but present day? Probably not...... Profound thought the only Justification for John Kerry making so many Trips to the Middle East, Hes got to be getting major tail....

Prior to

 A date or meeting up with someone The worst feeling for me is that Stomach Growl knowing Number Two is on it's way. A close second is The Heartburn Salami Burp Feeling that makes you Self conscience to Even Breathe. On My way to meet a Girl from Online whose story Intrigued me, and she happened to have pretty photos. She was Italian Catholic Convert who Either had an Israeli Fetish or Israelis had a fetish for her. she Insisted we only go for Hot chocolate and I was perhaps Disingenuously Insisting drinks or Dinner, I relented and we met up in the Upper East Side. My Lens started acting up and the Squint and Twitching came along with it, We Spoke of past relationship failure, Israelis and She Thoroughly impressed me with her Sign Language. She didn't seem the need to flatter me by getting made or dressd up. But after all it was an $8.82 Hot chocolate date. The Chemistry we had over the phone and text was ephemeral, but still squeezed a good Hour and half conversation, She introduced me to a " Hook Up " Site called Tinder which she was on for Fun cause she'd never hook up and  Exchanged the Spurious it was great to meet you's. What did I learn? How to Sign I am going to the bathroom ( #1 and #2 is same) and to call Someone an A$$hole. No Church on Sunday..............

Dr James Nasimith,

would be rolling in his grave if he were to watch The Championship game between Team QB and Green. "The Worse players in the world are not the bad ones, but rather the bad ones that think Their good" In their defense one can use the "Jesus" argument and " Forgive them for they do not Know" -Being the  good Samaritan I had to point out to them That Plain and simple the Emperor was not wearing any clothing, but to no avail. In a Gutless, heartless, Effortless Disgusting display We Looked like the Egyptian Army Retreating and running away During the Six Day War. The Game plan was simple Protect the perimeter cut down penetration NO LAYUPS. With in the first minutes of the game That Operation failed not to compare but to "Eagle Claw" the tragic failed rescue Attempt of the Hostages in Iran. Not contesting Open Threes, Some of us Fouling on Three point shots even and Playing a Defense Hollier than Swiss Cheese it was an Plain and simple Shameful. Mercifully The Game was called with under Two Minutes, but Probably should have been called with the first two......

The Enemy of you're Enemy?

 is you're friend...... An unprecedented historic mass rally scheduled for the 7th of January The historic Trip will be headlined by the Moetzes Gedolei  HaTorah of Agudas Yisrael,  and will unite all "Haradie" factions in Israel and abroad protesting the Drafting of Yeshiva Students to The IDF. The Temerity of some of these groups who receive all Zionist money  for Schools,healthcare,children and other services to align themselves with Virulent and Anti Zionist Extremists Neturie Karta  in the cause to protest the people who are Defending their way of life and right to worship in the Holy Sites Goaal Nefesh or Disgusting. Last August under the Guise of Torah Desecration Thousands rallied promising not to attack Israel but just this specific Policy  one noted observer said it was like "being at anti crime rally - Blaming African Americans for all the Crime but using limited derogatory words against them".  Just like many Arab Knesset Members who abuse, freeload  and aid and abet the Enemy Via Flotilla and Terror  The ultra orthodox Should be held to the same regard. Treason is Not freedom of Speech..............

And nothing else

Matters.... over a conversation with a lady friend -  confidence was attractive for her and it just so happened that every guy she's dated had Money. So the Equation went like this M= C+ G ( money= confidence then get the girl )... Following the Conversation I changed in my profile my Annual income from "will tell you later" to over $100,000 A mild Embellishment........... Seems Eerie to hear Israelis wishing people CHAG SAMECH on Xmas, But I think i get it........For Religious Reasons The Match that I had a 50% Stake was not made in Heaven No church on Sunday....... Their may be Church on Sunday with BG (bubbly girl) and again their may not. I did Call her last night to Apologize for the  " Misunderstanding" and  Ask her out again, It maybe that I Invent my own conclusions...........

Is Falafi the Plural

 of Falafel?...... Blessed are the Matchmakers for they shall enter the kingdome. A long with a Mutual friend I played an integral role  in setting up someone who on paper looks like a terrific match, and will leave it at that.... Due to Technical difficulties a covert Set up Operation was forced to be abandoned. The records can't be opened for another Thirty Years.........Perhaps I went a lil overboard in my profile Referring to my Ideal Relationship: Mohamed and Amina and the rest of the wives- Of course Amina was his mother but who cares no one is supposed to know that, not unless you're a hostage in a Kenyan Mall and you have to prove to the terrorist you're mooslim by knowing that.......An  Email from a girl with out a photo from Durban, SA  with an Israeli Name, taking the bait I email her at her Gmail Account for Photos, Shes African American But not bad, She asked if I can help with her Phone Bill its currently  US $2817.77, Ill try......

Maybe she really is

   Washing her hair? After Postponing Monday Night  I text  GSG( good Samaritan girl) if 8fish was Still good for tonight? " G--i .. You're really so nice and I feel bad doing this,this is all new to me and i feel i am not ready....Pls understand that it's nothing personal and hope you're not upset with me.....Hmmm "I totally understand- dw about it - your'e surprise was lotto tickets didn't win anyways actually i think $7 maybe haha and chocolate is always rehash-able maybe not the chalev ysrael ones - for real though i hope everything works out for you - behatzlach  Kyrie elesion.......How great would it have been had her ticket won, of course my stupid conscience would kick in and force me to share. Give her Credit for patronizing  in an eloquent manner, almost as believable as the girl who told me she needs to wash her hair every night for the rest of her life, took me a while to get it.......

"When Vengeance is

           
  The Inspiration Redemption only comes in the form of winning". A humiliating Season finale defeat at the hands of Team Red, That saw Team QB  show 0.0 pride on both ends of the floor the odds makers had a 9.5 point spread for the Rematch Playoff match up. Preparation and discipline was key as QB knew that they had to protect the perimeter as if it were the Motherland, cut Dribble penetration and rely on our size in the middle to alter shots from the high post. Discipline among est a team of Ex Cons and users is difficult to implement, but it was important to control the tempo and not fall into the trap of running with them. We saw how  well it worked out in the previous two match ups, But according to HM we were having Fun. The Extended 3-2 Zone was giving them a hard time, and most of their shots were being contested. Their lack of early ball pressure allowed the Offense although stagnated to have some rhythm and we raced to a 18-6 halftime lead. The 2nd half pressure came along with the panic and Turnovers, They made Their adjustments offensively and were able to exploit the corners and at the Seven minute mark took their first lead. We adjusted and switched to a man. With Buddah being swarmed, No one was able to step up, Until tabbach made a critical Three to Stop the bleeding. JB with Ice in his veins made two free throws to tie the game with 16 seconds, and THEY called Time out to set up their Defense. "The Magical players answering the bell, demanding the ball  as they're teammates are electrified" - No one argued Buddah  got it at the top of the key dribbled to his right and with two Defenders draped over him let it fly Nothing but net well not really A super friendly roll- but a big-time shot from big-time player Good players play well Great players win Games.............

Momentum

     
 Shifts Emailing a girl on line solely based on her Photos That i found Extensively pretty figuring what the hell ? " I know u langiado"  Pointing out she spelled it wrong i asked if it was good or bad ? " neither, just funny" Still no clue who she was and her being a lil evasive  I complimented her again and Behatzalcha ( a more meaningful All the best ). The conversation opened up after that and the Sixth decree of separation led to of all places Sitt shul. The Conversation from my end was going great, Showtime was set for the Even day of  Monday Night . With great Enthusiasm and several In genius surprises in store The Hype for Monday Night was building up. Breaking news 4:32 PM  "OMG am so sorry I didn't know there was ......leave it for another night"...  One Shining moment, The pageantry the excitement the national Championship the cutting down of the nets. On hold....How great is Army v. Navy?........fortunate to attend a great wedding last night  a couple of  Wedding observations: Wouldn't it be great if their was a hearing impaired signer at Wedding ceremonies? Do weddings ever run out of food? Then Why  else would  their be  a mad dash to get out of the hall after the glass is broken. A notable reader likened it to waiting to board or get off a plane People all scrounged up together barely moving  I confess it was fun to observe...  and for the Record in Dating No News is not Good News.....






 

Momentum

      loss, after a few texts consisting of me flirting and BG responsive in a different light. The Texts were heading to a Bridge somewhere in Alaska. Unclear weather to call or not I solicited the advice of a young lady whom happened to also Sell me a New Jacket and Shoes at the low low price of  Six fifty that included the 50% discount. In a taped message "Their is no Ego, and nobody need to wait to text you just have to do whatever you're desire and energy are feeling......."  and if you don't get that same energy back?  " You move forward, it shouldn't be forced"....... The Advice FREE.......the fact that the set up lady didn't respond clinched the deal No Church on Sunday..............

When to call off the Dogs?

    When should a team Stop pressing In Jewish League Ball?  Tract-ate Basketball clearly states when up a comfortable Twenty- twenty Five Midway through the Third Quarter . The House of Shamai holds That it's irrelevant due to personal vendettas between coaches or Schools or perhaps the presser wants to cover the spread, Why Should a team be penalized and stop playing in accordance to their style? The House of Hillel Argues that it sets a bad Example to "Run up a Score" and since wagering is outlawed in Jewish sports that Nullifies that argument , further more you don't ask the victors to stop playing just stop humiliating. In Old  School basketball if a team was perceived to be running up the score Hard fouls would be Justified, and fights and injuries would occur. Case and Point the Great Oklahoma teams of the late 80s Early 90s who would actually foul on purpose to stop the clock so they can try to reach 100 points. Earlier this week in a Yeshiva Exhibition tournament game Flatbush was Beating on Kushner badly and had it's rotation players still pressing. I don't know the Circumstances between the schools, but at a memorial tournament just doesn't seem right. Kushner Coach JS was aghast and especially at the fact that the opposing Coach portrays  himself as a upscale religious guy, When it seems like he's Just a Sanctimonious Prick..........

The Only

  Thing that concerned me was weather to go to  BG( bubbly girl) door or not . I consulted with the prestigious Sages of the dating counsel and by 2-1 vote, They said to text. G0d was on my side as I had cover due to the fact their was a function across the street with Valet service so I really had no where to stand. "Should I valet the car, I'm right up front" I was Five minutes Early she 12 minutes late. The Over/ Under was set at 97 Minutes which was fair for a late Sunday night Brooklyn  Date.  I was pleasantly surprised when she came outside and it Took Seven Seconds to re leave  any of the awkwardness due to lack of speaking before. On wards to the main Event being her of course. Her Experiences and back in the day Moments be Lied her 29 years of age. A talented vocalist, she was shy to do a little number, does a comedian always have to make jokes.....We sat though 184 minutes of Tea and Desert ( I really thought they served alcohol) and was thoroughly impressed with her knowledge of the Jewish State Particularity the Fienstien- Barazani Story. I found her Sexy the way She threw her hair to side and appreciated her very Expressive hand  motions . The Fact that She loved football and went 11-2 ATS garnered a marriage proposal of course i didn't.. Putting her on the spot with out putting her on the spot a "Sure we can try again"  a stickler for language I expected a Different answer I probably did put her on the spot, but only to be fair if I had to go through the intermediary I'd probably take her out around T'isha Be Av. What have I learned ? That it's a good thing I am not a Shamie, Cause of her moderate to severe allergies to colognes and Scents, Should we ever hit it off I think we'd need  Separate Bathrooms....Church On Sunday?......

The Kitchen is

  Closed the Bar is Opened  Dating Policy is not making certain family members of mine happy, They Accuse me of being cheap....ME?.......No Glasnost and No Perestroika with the woman of the former Iron Curtain The Program has been a failure albeit a Polite Failure........RIP Danny Matt a decorated  veteran of Five Israeli Wars. My Uncle was a POW with him in 1948 during the fall of Gush Etezion...... 72 Years ago ." A Date Which will live in Infamy"........Haven't confirmed with BG(Bubbly Girl) for Sunday yet, I'm just hopeful I don't need to go through the typical SY dating motions Heck I don't even know where she lives, I'm sure she's really looking forward........ HBD to one of Basketballs all time greats  LJB   Lebron ? Nope  #33 Larry Joe Bird is 57.........

Girls of the Eastern Bloc

   Are very Polite.  "It would be completely remiss of me not to tell you how Especially pretty i thought you were, Would love to hear more about you"...... thrown in some random Russian words and phrases and the stats are. Three Replied "Thank You's:):)"  Three have yet to reply, One Ignored, and one Whom I haven't gotten her name yet but promised her it'll be fun- replied  "promises already"  Confidence......I'm hoping their are no contraindications between the Ladies of the former Iron Curtain.....Congratulations to Judy Feld Carr on getting the Israeli Presidential medal of Honor. A heroine of to the Syrian Jewish community She was instrumental in the Rescue over 3300 Syrian Jews.....

How Come

      most girls I have dated have always been Hungry? Of course that's a bad sign for a guy when a girl eats on a date and when she eat's a lot its a very bad sign. Thanks to RE ( Real estate) Girl the frivolous dating has stopped, With exception to a last minute get together with BG( Bubbly Girl) her people called again and We finally caught each other in text to go out on Either Thursday or Sunday Night . I chose Sunday less Pressure. I'm for certain she's a great girl etc etc, But Please pardon My lack of Ralph Waldo Emerson of "nothing great was ever achieved with out enthusiasm".The very  Good news is at least we avoided that root canal style initial Fifteen minute phone call . The African-American from The Islands has been persistent in me coming over,  her messages have been more and more explicit if I can look past her face and her accent I think I can really have a good time. Naa respectfully decline.....Two Functions RE suggested the Rabbi from the Boob Cruise is having a Hanukkah party and the IDF Black Tie Gala hmm I may go...next year..This time Around online I figure ill get my Money's worth and message everyone, with the a strong emphasis on woman from the Eastern Bloc......

Proverbs

 Says   "By Way of Deception you wage war" - How about Love - Would proverbs Condone Deceiving Girls to make Love?...... RE ( Real Estate girl) Suggested to Go against the flow and Stop frivolously Dating. A) It's Expensive  B) Time Consuming , She only goes out with people she feels have potential. " But how does she know"? The W Bush Syndrome G0d tells her of course.......With Jdate Expiring yup again. The 90th minute emails Have NOT gone out and the game has ended with another boring 0-0 tie.....The Pieces of the Berlin Wall that I bought On Ebay cost me $20, $19.99 and $15.99 respectively considering the wall extended over 87 Miles not really a bargain, but still History....... from Aug 21 2011I decided to really quit the online world  this time, but prior to that I got an email from a girl "tziporah" . her pictures looked good, and we exchanged a couple of texts before she suggested we meet up Sunday night. She Called me Sat night, and had a weird accent and everything in the conversation was weird. Truth i didn't understand 90% of  the stuff she said, fast forward to 1100 this morning, i was grateful to get a text that shes in a lot of pain due to her "period " and wants to postpone, Ill be "Away" for couple weeks so maybe when i get back. Two Weeks turned to  Two years cause not only did she WhatsApp me She send me some compromising photos, and asked if i was busting something. I am consulting with QB on how to Respond.............

66

 years ago The United Nations voted to partition Palestine. The vote went  33 yeas 13 nos 10 abstentions- immediately The region plunged into war Arab league chairman Mr  Pasha  was quoted - "This will be a war of extermination and a momentous massacre which will be spoken of like the Mongolian massacres"- Despite insurmountable odds, in a modern day miracle The Israelis prevailed.  On this date The  Dead Sea Scrolls were found, and the oldest Torah in Aleppo Syria was Burned some 200 pages of were preserved.........

After A

    Sort let down last night with Jdate Girl Whats Next. Perhaps BG?  I think I am losing my interest in hearing about the  Machu pichau, and what songs girls and their ex's sing their kids Though i must say the cleavage shot made it a lot more interesting. Dating is NOT EASY...... Is it that Important for a Star Athlete on Scholarship overseas to return home to finish his military service at a desk Job in logistics. Can Seton Hall guard Tom Maayan Represent Israel better as an Ambassador?..... After a Buzzer beater by QB to Beat Hot Sauce. A melee broke out between The Egyptian Phenom Hot Sauce and one of our players. my Journalistic instincts kicked in ( not like my basketball) and I began filming the Fracas.Thirty Seconds into my Report I was always attacked by Two thugs from the losing team cursing and threatening. Public Domain i can film where ever i want, The Fight over shadowed a brilliant performance by QB that including a tough baseline runner that clinched the win......." I'll Bury you, Where you Stand MothaF&^CKA".......

Dating is Hmmm

    Contacting a girl with an uncanny resemblance to an ex that Favorited me on line. We immediately hit it off on texts and their was excitement from my end to meet up. She was bubbly, perky, and hungry and Looked more the Ex in person. Her originality and quirkiness impressed me among-est other things. I asked and listened a lot. Things got a tad slow listening, but I am really good at looking interested which i was just not so much the story. I drove her home and she asked i text her when i get in, She passed the test. "With the holidays and schedules will figure out when to get together next"...... No Church on Sunday......... The Question of the Post to Call or not to call BG( Bubbly Girl). Her people contacted me saying it's a go from her end despite leaving me hanging.........After the Iran Deal, it's amusing to hear the wrestling chant of the Iron Sheik from the 80s  " Iran Number One Russian number Two USA tuuuu (spit). Looks like he may have been a lil ahead of his time.............

TOP TEN AND MORE

 TOP TEN GREAT THINGS ABOUT ISRAEL.......

10.) The Rowdy and  vociferous clapping when the wheels touch down at Ben Gurion  
 9.)  Black Tie Events Include Jeans and Sneakers 
 8.)You Never have to worry about Cursing at any Venue TV/ Radio/ Events/ Weddings etc All Are uncensored in Hebrew English and Arabic
7.) EHHHH EHHHH  EHHHHH EHHHHH
6.) The Strip Clubs have Mezuzot 
5.) You can wear White Gym Socks with suits or anything else and not have to worry about fitting in 
4.) You Can pretty much pee where ever you want 
3.) Israeli Scalpers are really Really honest 
2.) Being Bar Mitzvah Entitles you the right to buy Cigarettes, Beer and Porn 
1.) Home To the Worlds Greatest outdoor Party 


Some others that didn't crack the top ten include:

 1.The Free Hotel Breakfast 
 2. The everything that has hebrew writing is Kosher
 3. That all People that inch up on lines are Israeli, but not all Israelis are line incher uppers
 4. that the haradeem can watch porn at the internet cafe 
 5. The bs  terms of endearment Kapara, neshama, etc..
 6.  you don't need to tip
 7. The lotto and cell phones have a Kosher certificate
 8. 

Why the H

 would someone sleep with a broken glass under their  mattress ? You never ask questions when g0d's supposed to be on you're side.......Alkoa presents you make the call - do you give a matchmaker with a lot of resources a friends numbers with out his permission?....... The Officers at The Big Jelly Organization decided to turn the company into The Big Jelly Foundation. We Supply money for meat at Rosh Hashana cause we know how it is. Help other People fly in relatives with Airline Tickets. Accept Bounced Checks, Supply down payments for a condo in the Dominican Repubulics. Provide Gratis Health and Beauty products for Friends and relatives abroad. Free Give a ways for Products deemed by the consumer as "It wont sell anyways"  and new the Museum Policy of Suggested Donation for whatever products that can sell...... The Right call was Not to give out the Number, the Prayer for Bad things is working on me, similarly to the sanctions on IRAN..........

Thanks to my date

with Mom Jeans girl that I Saw The Lesbian That looked like Jack Sikma The Stone Rose Lounge  in the Time Warner Building has become my go to First date place. The View is Extraordinaire both the indoor and out. The Great news first. She was on time, She looked like her photos, and she had some sort of Job in Dimona, while serving in the IDF... Of course she was no Mordechai Vananu and didn't leak out any secrets that she may or may not of had ;Typical Israeli Ambiguity. I felt like we had a great one time conversation from politics ( shes lefty of course we vehemently disagreed on Rabin) to the Single life in NY. I found her to be uniquely confident and  really set in her ways and loosened up completely when I felt I didn't need to Impress, Maybe Something good will happen, Maybe was NO. She felt nostalgic when I played The Revivo Project Shabbat Songs and was amused how i articulated my Profane Arabic curses in the car ride  home to "Ells Kitchen".... Call me crazy I thought their was something, not where you may think, but really. Seemed too difficult to continue though Looks like I will be placing a call to LG ( Lilith's Girl)........

Misunderstandings?

  A Text from BG (Bubbly Girl) People. " Whatever happened, did you go out"? Nope I explained the situation of her being Busty and all . " So why not try again? She had a show...... . We never tried, I wasn't the one who chose not to contact her, and If someone doesn't want to go out I Respek...A the BG Chapter has ended.......Another Text from PSNG( pretty Sooo Nice girl) people. To summarize she said were in Different places and  she suggested to  read the faith based Book " Garden of Emunha"  . Still pondering weather to go out again what the hell did Two different places mean again?........Lilith who has by chance made Three matches and is well on her way to heaven Suggested that I call This girl whom she say's is great for me and vice verse. How does she know ? I'm going to wait it out due to the fact that I am meeting up with the Lovely young lady from the eternal and indivisible capital of the Jewish People.......

The anxiety

To make that initial call to a girl, is only superseded by the anxiety to call to tell her that things are not working out. For myself I generally take the preemptive approach, and sense when a girl wants to get rid of me.( it happens a lot ). After two dates and one dead car battery date. Some would say Cowardly I  texted DI( divine intervention girl) that I really enjoyed my time with her, but feel like we're on two different paths, and hoped that everything works out for her. She shared my sentiment of confusion as to what the hell I was talking about. she bailed me out by asking if I didn't feel a connection - " there was, but not necessarily the connection to continue on and I didn't that was fair" - it was classically ambiguous. It satisfied me that she didn't feel badly and wished her " behatzlacha" I am not good at the phony " I think you're. Terrific girl blablabla  and the spurious All The Best.......The last time I met up with an Israeli girl that lived in "Ells kitchen" tempers flaired over Judeah and Samaria being occupied or liberated territory. This time should be different she's from the capital, Moroccan, And from the land of Flowing milk and hopefully Honey too......

"Can We make it 830 tonight Running late?"

Sure, i don't think i have much choice. Telling her my parking trick on Monday was probably not the smartest thing.( you make believe you missed the place to get a couple of extra driving around blocks to find a spot) We did find parking of equal distance to a parking lot, I just didn't pay attention to where in the confusing streets of the West Village. Dinner was an experiment, but we seemed to do well with the corn dishes, Dessert was a disaster and we lamented at the fact that we saved calories. We continued to burn some extra calories looking for the car afterwards especially with the fact she was very cold. According to an Aunt you should promise a donation to charity on condition you find what you're looking for in 5 minute time frame.  I Pledged Twenty dollars to charity should we find the car,  Two Minutes later the car appeared. What did I learn,? Park in a lot next time. Staying consistent I took the Bridge home Just seemed like the logical route with less traffic than the tunnel . A double Faux Pas in the world of Syrian Dating. Some   Good conversation and  Chemistry, But probably not enough to sustain - Back to  Jdate ( for her too)  and No Church on Sunday...........

The DIvine,

 may not know what he's talking about. Texting back and forth with DI (Divine int girl) I happened by chance to be near her work yesterday and offered a ride, Plus Coffee and a chocolate chunk cookie. Once again I proved to be a Knight in Shining armor, sans the Boobage and fact that my car wouldn't start. We fiddled with the key and she studied the manual to no avail. Seemed like DeJa Vu, except this time I insisted she go home as she had to get to her kids and yoga. She was gonna stay, but i was adamant. Problem Resolved as roadside showed one hour twenty minutes later. My Ex once told me " The Road to Hell is paved with good intentions" - Making a lot of sense.......A couple weeks ago i went out with a really "Sooo"   nice girl turned out we were in  "2 different places"...." but she liked you" Huh for real i would have gone out with her again.......

The DIvine,

Seems to know what he's talking about. Enthusiastically, I went to pick up DI( Divine intervention Girl) figuring for the usual pass the time formalities style date. I't pleasantly surprised that she was prettier than i thought, worldly Knowledgeable, Fun personality, attentive and understood me. From my Bathroom habits, to dating patterns, to Every day life philosophy and our conversation bordered from the absurd to world events. We pretty much closed the restaurant alongside a haradei couple who according to her observation seemed to be having way to much of a good time slurping  up their Souffle. We exchanged theories as to why they were so Happy. Hinting for a Second date, I caught myself remembering from previous relationship to be Direct and tell Woman what I wanted and asked her out again. Their will be Church on Sunday......Hating the person I have become from Online dating I have officially closed up shop. Ignoring Emails, taking numbers and not calling, Exchanging conversations, and then just ignoring. I'm not a good Person.........Refusing to let the terrorists win, I returned to the court. The Results were much of the same   it's hard to play with heartless,Gutless players who KNOW everything. My Minutes were limited, but effective with Stats that do NOT appear in the box score....

Ill Ask Again

WHY DOES EVERY GIRL I GO OUT WITH SHOW UP LATE? SYGGR( Syrian girl gone rouge) texted me shed be about Twenty minutes late, which left me flirting with the idea to drop a deuce at Starbucks, The situation wasn't critical so I passed. Once she showed she was on Fire, She reminded me of a Kathy Griffin with bigger boobs. Sitting at a Lounge in Bay ridge our conversation was unfiltered and we pondered the fact of how the hell did two people that went to MD meet on Plentyoffish. Things got crazier when she told me she worked with her Ex In Curacao for a sports website being run by poker ace Abe. Her food was taking a while to come, and I mentioned its coming with the Moshiach, but she dropped the bombshell that he was a Hoax and wasn't coming. How can that be after all the songs and prayers?  She was adamant  No Moshaich . I was thoroughly impressed by her SAT Scores and the fact that she was valedictorian, and was embarrassed to tell her that she beat me by over 500 points .She had a keen way of utilizing big words with a heavy dosage of Profanity, like Emily Dickenson combined with the wrestler Chynna .She was fun and outgoing and when the yawning started playing  a major role in the conversation It signaled closing time. I called Abe and he remembered her as pretty, pretty smart and her husband having a high pitched voice"... Our interests seem continents apart my love for the Jewish State and hers  for the Machu Pichua in Peru. No church on Sunday............

Never in my Life,

  did I not want to win anything as badly as the night of the Fundraiser for the Young kid that was killed from Allergies. Not thinking they were going to call out the names in front of the whole crowd, it petrified me to think that SHARA MOOTA, MARY CONE, PHIL A. SHEEYO or LEAH A. ZAZEL would win. Thank g0d they didn't... I ran into DIG( divine intervention girl) while walking to shul, she was jogging I knew I was late cause she caught me a couple blocks further than when i saw her last week, She delayed her jog to walk with me a couple blocks, and i apologized for not bringing her water of which she was glad cause then she would have to PEE and carry the bottle also... Were still on for Monday night...........

peanut Allergies

  are very important to learn about. Attending a Fundraising game for a Young Kid that Died from it, Between my brother's 8th grade team and the local Y team. I was forced to get into the action not for my knowledge of Allergies but to referee the game. I worked a relatively clean first quarter I wish I could have gotten to do The larry major Trademark of pointing one way and calling in the other and of course the Earl T. Strom "AND ONE "........Breaking News The Divine Intervened again when "Was looking forward to hearing from you this week what happened? Also did I almost literally run into u on OP Saturday, That would have been awkward" - The answer was Ohh Sorry I was away couple days, would love to get together this week - yeah I thought so too haha" ..... Long story Short See you on Monday Night......Not allowing the Terrorists to win I will be returning to the court This Tuesday back to leagues with Team QB, hopefully they'll trade, but one thing's for certain My game will speak for itself  and  I'll be sure that they will be forced to have someone  else be good on their bench....

In order for

online dating  to work you A) have to work at it  B) Sell yourself real well. Not living up to the expectations of the lovely woman of JDATE I closed up shop to play around with PlentyofFish. The only not so good thing about POF is majority of the fish are Shell Fish but again But..... My Profile reads
 "isn't really for me determine what kind of person i am- but my grandmother insisted i was handsome and i know shed never lie to me. Facts are that I am a half a fame candidate in being on time and girls compliment me on being organized for a guy and insist that's as important as being rich and good looking. I pronounce silent letters, am fluent in foreign language profanity ( helps during driving)my spelling is atrocious, and was gonna convert to Islam but allah wouldn't advance me on the 72 virgins so i remained a Jew. My affinity for the obscure allows me to attend all kinds of functions that i probably shouldn't be at. I love using old people words like valise, and always administer a courtesy flush".  I am still yet to be emailed for my photos.....With Limited options I asked a member of the Tribe what she looks for in a guy. Taller than me, Smart, Funny, and not an A$$hole- She settled for Two definite out of the Four and we should be getting together Sat night. I may have known of her from Before.... What the hell is SapioSexual? sounds really good but I wasn't enough of it to garner a response from one of the Prettier girls I found on the site.. What have I learned thus far? probably the same thing I learned before from this site that Voluminous girls really love cuddling.....

After Long hours

of tedious negotiations I finally was able to Secure a GET  or unconditional Release from the disastrous marriage to Team Queens-bridge  and am Free to Sign with another team. I wish them all the best in Finding someone who they need to be " good on their bench"......11.5.90 Al Queda Kills it's first victim on US Soil R' Meir Kahana at midtown hotel. A future winner of the Good Character award at MDHS was ecstatic thinking it was the principal Abraham M. A distant relative........Same yearly Joke What's the Best day in China Town? Of course that being ERECTION day, The forecast for the next Four Years in NYC Cloudy, Rainy,Muggy,Humid etc.. In Short Mayoral Elect De'Blassio will make Bloomberg look like a Sunday School Teacher.............

Not to sound

  Mean but the only thing me and a young lady that emailed me have in common is that we both weigh over 200 lbs except shes 5.2 and i'm 5.11 or 5.10 and half cause i slouch due to my insecurity (re- Howard stern)...... Another Great Idea A Restaurant Called SHABBAT where secular  and non Jews  can experience a traditional Shabbat meal during the week with different Ethnic Shabbat menus from ( Ashkenazim to all the Middle Eastern Cuisine depending on the theme) with the whole Friday night Atmosphere, just during the week..........PSNG( pretty so nice girl from Sephlink) I must say was really as nice as described. Due to the West coast time Start we stayed locally at Cafe K. Despite probably having 0.0 in common the conversation streamed from background to religion to kids to relationship failures and our sentences always ended off with that same generic ending of " yeah its a good thing" or something along those lines. She matched my passion for Food and we pretty much closed the restaurant. The Usual get home safe after dropping her off and Church on Sunday their will not be.........I offered to meet up with Scandinavian CUFIG( christian united for Israel) on Sunday,or anytime this week She said She'll get back to me.........BG(Bubbly Girl) texted that due to  the unfortunate news of a death in her extended family, this week wont be working out well for her. God gave God took  away... I offered my condolences and told her no worries whenever is good...........The Divine intervention  where the Young lady i was supposed to call from a while ago found me online, is not looking like it will happen. We exchanged some texts, but in all likelihood both fell out of the situation.. And just like that I am not Busy again..........

"I am from the Sudan

    and I don't give a damn"- My Brother Mohammad famous words regarding his dating strategy. Never fold any hands. Should make for a very busy week...... A text from another Sephlink contact with a photo " Interested"? - She's pretty Sure, naturally I submitted my photo for approval. " Please call her shes soooooo Nice........I forgot how difficult the initial calls to ask girls out was. Falling a sleep early Thursday night i was forced to scramble and call BG( Bubbly girl from Sephlink) Friday afternoon with out preparing I left a semi- odd incoherent inarticulate message asking if she was the one singing on her Voice mail Something tells me i wont be hearing from her........Following that up with a call to PSNG( pretty soooo nice Seph link girl) that conversation went relatively smooth, she was alarmed that i told her i sold drugs at one point of course at the pharmaceutical level.......Resigning to Jdate brought some interesting Messages:  " Hey... You look very familiar... are u the guy Frieda and Rita tried to set me up with that never called?.....you seem pretty cool.. perhaps you'll consider ?:) -" hey How are you- thank you, pretty photos I remember but their was some sort of mix up - Sure would love to".  I never called because, because,  because something really did come up. Divine intervention that she found me here?........ A Scandinavian girl emails me asking if i need money? Is this a Trick Question ? Nope you're age search is 29-73 -A fascinating conversation in sued about her passion for Israel and fetish for Israeli guys, We were supposed to meet up for drinks tonight, but exchanged it for an early brunch  She told me to text her after Joel Osteen tomorrow. She's a Christian united for Israel.....


   

The last time

 i frivolously spent $200 on something well never mind. Everything about the League I paid $200 to play in, is horrible, The Rules, the Officials, The players,The game and a sewage issue that makes the gym smell like A$$. With our best player resting on the bench with 10+ minutes and were up 18 Instead of running some clock, we decided to "have fun" by bombing away way behind the line, trying circus shots and criminally not getting back on Defense. Thankfully the other team was "having fun" also and only cut the lead to 12 and an open look that could have made it 9. It genuinely bothers me when their is lack of respek for the game, It actually enrages me, makes me sick seeing people watch the ball go out of bounds, or show total disregard for getting back on defense among est other crimes perpetrated against the greatest game ever invented. I pride myself on being a great teammate someone who plays to their capabilities someone who tries, and knows that when i am a detriment to the team on the court then I take a seat. I'd Like to Thank QB (Queensbridge) for the opportunity to play, but No Thank you this "Game" is not for me anymore.............

Its been

 Over 36 days since my last date, and with no prospects coming up I decided yup to re up again to jdate but not as a member... yet, The Sephlink text ed me about a great girl from a great family very bubbly and houtgoing.,talented a Singer.  Truth is "Bubbly" is not an adjective one likes to hear about his potential date, but I found it a lil im appropriate to ask how Bubbly, I gave them my FB info and said what the hell..... Out of respek for my  great friend  Munster I am going to decline going out with a young lady Whose brother in law refused to sing at his nuptials for under 1000 a song. We also went out sometime ago I think the No Chemistry reason was the reason we didn't go for a Second date.....Breaking news BG (bubbly girl) said "she'd love to meet me" give her a call.........

An Israeli Tip

  Never leave an inch of space in a line. Both Scalars and Religious can squeeze you out in a second....Never in my life did it bother me to be part of the middle class until I flew El Al with the seat in front of me practically on my lap and the bourgeoisie Israeli couple from Kibbutz Gezer near Latrun to me left my flight fate was sealed I just prayed we get in safely most of the time ........ If Essa comes to smite the first camp then at least the other should be saved- when 2 valises were allowed I used to incorporate that strategy with my clothes- but when my prestigious yuteveta chocolate milk was confiscated at first security I was pleased to at least find the smaller bottles at the duty free-of course at triple the price. Realizing after the it is forbidden to board the flight with liquids exceeding 3.5 oz I meticulously packed 3 bottles in my smaller carry on  practically conceding them and 3 in the larger stowed deep under my phylacteries. Unlike Essa both camps were thoroughly checked and 6 bottles of the chocolate milk appeared on the table. "I'm fu%#ed" the stewardess smiled apologetically. I renege on wishing a stomach ache on anyone who drinks it.... The scalper I bought tickets from last year was pissed that I didn't call him back passing on his 4th row seats for 2000nis or roughly $575.... Called out as a wuss for not spending chaye Sarah here are some of the factors that played against me, how to make arrangements to get back to Jerusalem having to be up early for a flight the next day, spending the shabbos with strangers, the Marzals were all full and heaven forbid what if I needed to go #2. None the less thousands flocked for The cave purchasing anniversary..... I was shocked to learn that the Sephardi haradey community does NOT say the prayer for peace of the STATE of Israel No Respek ........

Security at Nokia

Arena in Tel aviv is iron clad they confiscated my one flavor of axe deodorant I had but not the other....My $200 per seats were good but not as good as I expected, and it irritated the hell out of me that DDG decided to show up 2 minutes before tip off , to apparently save $7 by taking a bus rather than a cab. The Atmosphere was electric and Macabi cruised......... if not for the hospitality of all the people i have met up in Israel my fuel band steps would be at a quarter of what they would have been accounted for so thanks to everyone who encouraged me to go to them rather than offer to come get me...... I still haven't stopped eating since I got here......Itching for some action I walked by the Damascus gate Friday after prayers, but in a way glad that besides taking an extra 12 and half minutes to exit to the street the situation is quiet......Once again there was no pilgrimage to the Temple amount, I tried to find a loophole via the Kabbalist and War hero R Ben shushan " due to holiness of the place and the fact that we don't know the places we can  go around its preferable not to" ..... Now that I have impressed a couple of girls for "being organized for a guy" more material to add to my dating resume, and I could also add that I am considered Rich in certain parts of the hemisphere...

I know this

guy whose name resembles a cheese that went all out for a girl. Red carpet treatment for his girl prime seats at a  basketball game, Dinner at a 5 star restaurant the whole nine yards his return on his investment 0.0. Now Minus dinner and the red carpet me and DDG( Design Danish Girl B)will be attending the Macabi Tel Aviv Basketball game with me my return 0.0...... Is it odd for a Bodega type style store to sell headphones?  "Does it look like we sell headphones??- instead of going through the motions i apologized for asking. I did buy generic Headphones with the BS''D on top, With G0ds help the headphones still didn't work.....Their will be no Tikkun Olam this trip as the Program Lap Dances for the Needy to save the strippers souls is on hold.....Their will be court-side seats to Macabbe Tel Aviv off their website i purchased two tickets 11 rows up price NIS 1400  or roughly $400 the same amount at MSG to see the knicks would send you somewhere's close to the nose bleeds.....Some Action at the Internet Cafe not Haradeim watching porn but one of the patrons upset at an employee commenting on his girlfriends ass. A short transcript of the conversation "let me see you talk to my girlfriend one more time i don't care how old you are im gonna f#ku in the ass and fu#%ck you up Throw a bunch of ben zona's and a big melee almost infused " the gentleman and his girlfriend were escorted out. It may have been a lil cynical of me to really want to see a fight......

On my way

   to Tel Aviv to meet up My Danish FB friend, One of the giants of backgammon; Falafel called me to see what i was up to. We met up at his barber shop and then walked to meet DDG( Danish design girl) I was perhaps thinking of setting up a shidduch as I am found myself TO RELIGIOUS for her. Their was no love connection but we all bonded over backgammon and stories of failed relationships....30 Years to the Beirut  Marine barrack bombing 241 marines were killed in the carnage by Hezbollah......Visiting Mount Herzl Military cemetery in Jerusalem and reading the headstones of all those who were killed defending and fighting for the Jewish State was Humbling and inspiring. The Tombs of Yoni Netnayhaou the commander at Entebbe and David "Dado" Elazar the brilliant chief of staff that prevented the destruction of the Third Temple during the Yom Kippur are side by side both died roughly six weeks apart in 1976.........
 

The Great Bill Russel

     Joked once that if you can bottle all the emotion that is released in a game you would have enough hatred to start a war and enough joy to prevent one. Thank g0d a war was averted as Beitar Jerusalem with a late goal defeated its arch enemy Hapoel Tel aviv 1-0. The rivalry that pre dates the founding of the state is Labor v. Revisionist Zionism, Secular v traditional, Left v Right  Haves V Haves not's  and Ashkenazim Elite and Sephardi. The hatred is still as intense from the days of the Arlozorof murder and the Sinking of the Altelna. Teddy Stadium in Jerusalem held a moment of silence for Rav Ovadia something unprecedented in Israeli Soccer, and the war was on. It took me a little while to catch up to the chants but i got them for the most part you're mother is a whore whose gonna suck it for us, You are whores, son's of bitches and faggots etc. it amazed me that the 30k plus that attended from all ages for knew the chants. A true love affair between a city and it's team and with G0ds help we won, and the fans deserved every bit of the victory....... Here is how I know i am not Israeli waiting on line to get in i was with in the first 50 -75 fans at the gate I would estimate that i was probably the 1000th to get in didn't matter though........

MVP

   With all the intensive foods my relatives feed me The MVP(most valuable product) of the trip thus far has been the flush able wipes.... What was cooking didn't even get on the fire for some reason an Aunt of mine had me call a 32 year old girl from the West Bank settlement of Kfar Adumim we refer to it as Judeah. Trying to make some sort of conversation which went much like catching the wind I asked her If she was interested in just meeting up for a drink ...... About a five second pause interjecting again I asked if she was comfortable with that...... Another five seconds " I'm sorry no " All the best . I am very curious to see what rejected me....Should I move to Tel Aviv I will miss The absolute worlds greatest outdoor party part II, I don't think i can pass that up...........

The Absolute Worlds

  Greatest Outdoor party, lived up to everyone of my expectations except on Steroids, It's indescribable what Goes on  at Kabbalat Shabbat at the Kotel Plaza, It's a must experience...... I prayed at an old family shul and ran into the Kabbalist  R' Yeshoua Ben Shoushan, a decorated war hero, and more notably known for his Role in trying to blow up the Al-Aqsa Mosque in the mid 80's. It was fascinating to hear him speak, he was tortured by his interrogators and sat Three Years, I made sure to get a blessing from him......Another Great thing about Israel you can pretty much piss anywhere with out repercussions......No action thus far, Except for some Arabs Throwing rocks Near Nablus Rd, and Haradeim in Mea' Shearim serenading a Police car driving through the area on Shabbat with the Shabbos chant Nazis......Somethings cooking behind the scenes, but I can't imagine anything coming to Fruition, Which may lead me to play Father Flanagan to the poor poor Strippers at the TA Clubs, all for the sake of  TIKUN OLAM........

The Jewish

City of Hevron is always Special, Just something in the air there. After about a one hour ride I got off at the cave, Once again I covered for all those who asked I pray, and also ran into Right Wing Extremist Baruch Marzal who actually recognized me, and asked if my Brother was still linked to Shas Chairman Arye Deri? He may find me a place to stay for Chaye Sara. I missed my bus back to Jerusalem and had to stay and extra hour and fifty two minutes for the next, It gave me a chance to tour the Avraham Avenu Neighborhood as well as some Arab Area's The kids kept pestering me for Money, of which i relented and gave them around 30 Shekels roughly $8.....Logic dictates that while waiting for 2 people to fill up a 10 person communal cab to Tel Aviv That if It's taking a long time then Everyone should pick up the slack and chip in to buy the remaining Two Seats, You'res Truly was Everyone 48 Shekels or $13..... It was nice to meet up with an old friend,she's been going through a lot with the death of her sister etc..We met up with a couple of her friends one a younger version of Sandra Bernhard who looked older but was nice and another a pretty hot and hot tempered daughter of an ex diplomat who grew up abroad. " what are you doing here" I told her I came to see you- she shot me a look like I just farted in church. We did agree to all go out again next week. I left the girls to meet up with a FB Danish - Israeli friend who surprised me by looking better than her profile. The chemistry was there but nearly enough to make any drastic life changes and onwards to the central bus station . Refusing to get ripped off by a cab, I chose to take the 20 minute through the slums of telaviv riddled with Sudanese, drunks and crack whores, some of the people along the way made the Aarabs look like Sunday school teachers........

Service ,

Is not an Israeli specialty I sat down at a restaurant and waited a good fifteen minutes before a waitress came by ( this happened to me last time ) and another 20 minutes till she brought the food, no water, one napkin, not one pass by's asking if I needed anything.......Rachel's tomb was a mob scene as my cab couldn't even pass through I walked to walk the 1000+ spiral yards around the heavy Concrete and barb wire - when refused a former Angelo and his wife told me to get into their car. I sat near they're mentally handicap daughter who was screaming , which got a lil comfortable cause I was unsure weather it was me or she was screaming before.fifteen minutes later we made it I had four people that asked me to pray for them and with clear conscience I Prayed and that included an Ex as well ( She doesn't know i am  here).......

It's no

  Myth that should you be the first to check in you're luggage in all likely hood it''ll be the last to come. Arriving at the airport Extra early and with Plenty of time to kill ( bad choice of words) I walked around the Terminal for over 30 minutes registering around 300 extra Nike Fuel Band Points. I like to usually be one of the last people to board just makes me feel like i have more control whom I sit next to, it's better than the anticipation of guessing to whom I'll have the good fortune to sit next. The Lucky Winner the empty chair.... One last play for RRPG( really really pretty girl) saying Ill pray for her etc.. QB was impressed with the text, But no reply History will not be kind to me on this one.... The communal cab to Jerusalem went smooth except for a Russian getting off at Ramot taking a Haradey woman's suitcase getting of in Minhat Yizhak. A confirmation in sued between the Angelo haradey woman and the Pudgy overly Hyper Israeli Guy, She kept blaming in on the fact that he wasn't shomer Shabbos .Twenty Minutes later Cooler heads prevailed after he told her to Shur up and and a relative took over. Thanks to my Israeli passport I was charged an 18% VAT tax it's kind of like an Sy electronic Made up tax, The sign that reads free Wifi is only Free Wifi for the first Hour of you're stay, and My dad would be disappointed that I am NOT entitled to the Free Breakfast I wont break his heart. Extra Flushes are Free.... For now.....

Holy CoW

 No Pun intended. It amazed  me how many people have holes in their socks, Attending my First and last Hindu Wedding I walked into the temple with my Shoes before I could take another step I was Ushered outside by an older priest and told to remove my Shoes I guess this was my Moses in the Burning Bush moment when g0d instructed him to remove his shoes. Seeing the Statues for the various Gods they have I was fixated on the worshipers socks  Their were at least Five people with Holy Socks, and its not part of the religion. The Ceremony had an array of candles incense, Red dots, Money on trays, walking around, the groom by the bride and it got capped off by the Tug of War which ended in a draw, and an omen for a happy marriage......
         

Not to sound

    like the spies  who went to Scout out the land of Israel, and then spoke ill will of the Land. I will just say its pretty Expensive for a Second Rate Jerusalem Hotel By the old Mandelbaum Gate Near Sheikh Jarra $228 a Night, However the really good thing about Israel is That I can freely wear White gym socks with dress shoes and would fit right in...... Their should be a lot of Action with Mayoral Elections in Jerusalem and for my readers should i get kidnapped by A Arabs the Code word if I am in Distress is ROBESON.....        Hanging out with my new friend via the law contra positive and our mutual friend I decided to feel out the situation with her and see whats up "  " she thinks I'm Awesome, loves you're company but religious level not compatible" Hmm with out blinking the answer is " NOT ATTRACTED TO ME " i am not a fan of patronage Nor do I believe I am awesome or Good Company.......Plan B make plans with some of the friends of the girls I became friendly with on line The law of contra positive is Universal.............

The Best that Never Was........

 
   based on Advice from JB I sent Lloyd "Sweepea" Daniels a message and friend request on FB. Why I don't know except for the fact that I thought it'd be really cool to friend the legendary playground legend who should have been the next Magic........    It's time  for me to officially retire from Basketball, cause i completely lost my mind. In embarrassing fashion i instructed to foul before the half thinking we had one to give and hence run out the clock, but sadly miscounted,  they made both Free throws. We played catch up the whole night and humiliatingly lost by a comfortable ten. The main difference between now and then I think is that Then there was more pride it was humiliating watching take so many open lay ups, Not one guy put someone on their ass.........Random- an old friend walks into my place, and puts me on the phone with a 36 year old girl whom he thinks is perfect for me - Despite the blindsiding, we had a nice conversation though i think she may have been disappointed that I was from the Torah Side of the Laniados and not the Rich one's  ( Laniado Hospital) The usual check me out on FB let me know what you think. I'm not sure what she thinks so I didn't call her.....yet.......In the Union Square area I decided to check out Stern side kick Robin Quivers Book Signing. Cost me $38.11 and about 37 minutes to meet her and have my book signed. Pretending to be DM I reminded her about the letter he wrote that Howard read on the air and told her I was Sephardi I asked her "When we were going out" - " Ronny ( The little security guy ) doesn't let" I didn't really want to take her out............






            
               Is

Anniversary Edition

     Hundreds of Dates,One meaningful Relationship, Five Trips to the Israel, One Hair Surgery, And Eleven Trips to the Holy City Happy 3 Year Anniversary to the OB.  What have we learned? Mark Twain Said it best  “History does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme,” ....... I have Begun my pre- flight prayers for my Trip to The Jewish State of course to get there safe, not to sit near over sized Haradeim and most importantly not to have to go #2. All Dairy products will be cut as of Sunday..... I have yet to contact any of the potential girls i can meet ranging from Acre in the North to Ashekelon in the South but really more interested in a long shot here or just meeting someone on my own. The Good Thing about Israel I Substitute my personality for being Rich.Universally to any Girls Good looking is out of the question Bummer...... Would the Syrian Community accept members of the "Falash Mura or Beita Ysrael" Ethiopian Jews? They were deemed Jewish and allowed Aliyah based on R' Ovaadia Ruling...........I think I am going to apologize to SSCG(Spirit of Second Chance girl) for acting like a douche-bag seems like the right thing to do.

Overhearing Some

 Shiva callers in my lobby talking about a "great man" that has passed away  that lived in the Building  I asked my doorman about who he was-  "A Racist Prick"- .........The Jewish world  also Mourns the passing of a Giant Torah Scholar R Haim Ovadia Yosef the Spiritual leader of Shas. DM points how all these revelers at Clubs and Resorts are posting their Photos with the Rabbi and Just Simply Can't, Thanksgiving in IBIZA......The Rabbi had major influence over The kashrut Business amongst other religious affairs, I hope his Family and Handlers can come to amicable resolution over the distribution of the empire...Kudos to PM Netanyahou on both his speeches at the UN and Bar Ilan - for showing Beginsque pride in his Country and articulating the Iranian Nuclear threat and the Expectations from the Palestinians, Finally Negotiating from Z to A rather than A-Z.NoMore Nothingyahou.....Running into the Polska Parade It was fascinating to see not a spec of dirt or Litter, Give them Credit they may be anti-Semitic but at least they're clean. I had some good Questions lined up but no Interviews...........After the failure of my "Dirty Shirt Idea" a new Light bulb came upon me " Fat People Food inc"  - A line of low calorie Snacks and foods that would only can be purchased my People above the Weight Line......

BIRTHDAY RETRACTIONS,

   apologizes to those who Sent their Bday Greetings DM, RAE, SSCG ( spirit of second chances girl)   My friend  LR and a friend via law contra positive took me out to celebrate the NON celebration...... Speaking of SSCG I thought that we both kind of agreed that even though we agreed to go out again we weren't "Never heard back from you..so i guess you weren't being Sincere when we met" Firstly Oscar Wilde on Sincerity "A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal." After a few Exchanges of the confusion and rejecting the deflection notion of which i probably was, Things ended up just about as well as the first time. As Usual I Screw up..STCG??.........There will be a Return Trip to the Eternal and undivided Capital of the Jewish people, I am waiting on the Bring me list.........However their will not be a Seasonal Basketball Blog perhaps little updates in (  ) as to not Bore the Readers.......(   QB who DM likened to Chris Mullin i added when was on Blow - Assembled a diverse team Featuring Budda - Voted Sham's all time best player and also known for his French Fries Summit with Coach Truck - Barney - The Giant Puking Big Man - Charlie -Cherry Picking and Basket hanging extraordinaire  Tabache- The Gary McClain of the league, shows great poise playing High - EEE- Nope not that one but a cousin who honed his skills at the EEE basketball academy........ Week #1 pitted up against perennial cellar dwellers Team kameo- After a very slow  Start, Thanks to their horrific play  we exploded on a 18 point run to run them out of the Gym. Quote of the day "when you're  6-2 star is Matched up against a 5-4 portly guy doesn't get the ball and you still win by Twenty nothing more to be said".  Fisticuffs almost broke after the game between QB and Charlie over Substitutions and Minutes Thank G0d for cigarettes and Booze as cooler heads prevailed).......

If A Girl Says

          she's not into  you from FB Profiles and pics and would rather meet in Person - means take a hike no way am i going out with you?.....Me and EEE concocted a plan he suggested i should try to hook up with a  "Hot new Ex Athlete" ( she played tennis)  financial administrator at a local school. I would walk in offering to cover the tuition cost of a family member and hence will show her that i am a really good guy and most importantly very wealthy, this will also  make her look good that she's on top of her job and again most importantly that i am really rich. The fact that I am a very Ex Athlete also  makes it a slam dunk ........ The Stats for Sept  were 461,541 steps 225.8 miles and 92,962 fuel points and I still gained weight, The Nike Fuel Band has been worthless. Since i am devout follower of EEE girls advice maybe his Weight advice will be beneficial for me...... SSCG( spirit of second chance girl) will not turn to STCG( spirit of third chance girl) despite her HBD greeting and the fact that we spoke of going out again. She's a terrific girl, but  the only chemistry we had was the fact that we shared the same religious ideals.....


 

  





   

Waiting on a very long

single File Line in the Sweltering heat at  the Bedford Central Church in Bedford-Stuyvesant, I was posed by the religious dilemma weather to walk by the Open Casket of my good friend and Legendary City Basketball coach Larry Major. Major only a few Days Earlier amid Serious allegations of conducting an affair with a Student, decided to end his Life by Shooting himself near the home of his sister's in Queens. I came to know Maje while running the Senior and regular guy leagues at the SCC where he used to Ref. His Officiating trademarks were the Pointing one way before shifting gears to point the other way and of course being the father of the Inadvertent Whistle. I impressed him with My Knowledge of Obscure Basketball Facts and players, and we became good friends. He'd Invite me everywhere and anytime we'd come across Big name coaches or Players He'd always go out of his way to introduce me as his good friend. We'd argue a lot about Georgetown and when I insisted his star players Jameel Watkins and Shamel Jones should go elsewhere he called me out on it when we met John Thompson the Imposing and intimidating coach of the Hoyas goading me to tell Coach Thompson - Shyly i answered "Grady Mateen. Milton Bell, Sam Jefferson, etc..." a slew of Big men who got lost in the shuffle there Thompson put his arm around and Said " you know i don't like no white People " and then Laughed about it. I sat behind the bench for the "Super six" the Sunday of the snowstorm of 95, Maje Earned Daily News "Dweeb of the Week" for shaving ADIDAS in his head ( they sponsored the tourney) when Robeson Beat Kevin Freeman and Tim Thomas's Patterson Catholic. my Red KC Chiefs Jacket got a lot of airtime on MSG network. Their were Family occasions, Practices, Making fun of the center guys and of course the Black Tail Magazines at Bodega on my corner. How can I Not walk by the Casket at pay tribute. The Church was overflowing with mourners, I sat near a extra heavy set woman who was one of the players mom's, she politely asked who i was and we had a couple of "Child Momma Knows Moments "exchanging  hugs through out the service. I can honestly say this was the last time I cried had i know i back then that " Tears are not an Emotion that should be shared and that you only share happy things" I probably still would've. A lot of his Ex players spoke of how he molded and mentored them, and the most emotional moment came when one of the mourners dropped by the casket with a Battle cry of ROBESON the place lit up and exploded seemed like the proper Send off....... Some days I miss My Friend..........


   

With Great Pleasure

 to  report no casualties from the Simhat Torah Holiday  Major Security was beefed up in and around the synagogues and a "Bellum Gero" was Achieved Between the Petitioners and the synagogues......Politically correct Hakafot The Books now read Great day for the Jews Sorrow days for their Haters used to be Ishmael....... Based on a limited Research  The dance time with the Torah per Person Averages around 11 seconds per Turn..... What do you think a Piece of the Berlin Wall Should Cost?.........In Case anyone is ever stuck with Islamic Terrorists Mohammad's mother's name was Amina and his father Abdulah....

" The Day Passed

   The Sacrifice is Nullified "- Birthdays as in  Sacrifices during Biblical times If Missed You can not OBSERVE them again. I Avoided Birthday Traffic by Upping The Date one Month to 08-25 The reason of course being to be like the Ancient Mooslamics who'm Change the month every year to Observe Ramadan. I could have gone the Hari Krishna route and put the date of Conception but figured that may be a lil personal . I was pleased to know that it passed with out much fanfare -SSCG ( spirit of second chance girl) sent me a text, and a couple of friends, But I must say It made me happy that an Ex Text ed me HB Gid.  No Cakes No Cards No Gifts No Worries Couldn't have asked for anything More, I have a whole Year to work on another Scam for next year #41...............

"Waste You're Money,

 You P#U$$y"  Very encouraging words from EEE before I go out to Queens to meet up with SSCG( Spirit of Second Chances Girl) I'm really inspired to score tonight Thanks EEE, but I do  have a feeling she's going to be a NO SHOW...... Waiting for her by Marsha's, i was engaged by a Jehovah's reading me some quotes from the Scriptures, Thank g0d she showed. We  headed to an Archie Bunker Style Saloon, with some live entertainment and  bad acoustics the Perfect Venue for a Nothing to talk about kind of Date. It was hard to mitigate our thoughts, non the less we persevered and spoke from Dating to exes to Uncle Cracker and Soup. I learned  All Girls that Are Skinny really really Love Soup, and That ranked a close second to Lettuce in her favorite food groups, We buried that Hatchet of the previous Misunderstanding, and spoke about getting together again I thanked her for a nice evening and Happy harvest. Church on Sunday ?...... Basketball is Back in NY-  well not exactly but I signed up to play with QB and his posse in leagues, Last time they signed me I got Waived before appearing in one Game.......

The Parade.....

   
     It is unclear weather more people watch Al Jazeera America or Attended the Annual Islamic Parade. With Queens bridge as the camera man ( he passed on the interview) . The parade Theme was Islamic Contributions.The Concept of  0, Suicide bombers and Subway ranked among est the most significant ones. Disguised as Journalists from the Marshal Islands , We got through roughly Thirty Minutes of Footage, with some really nice and friendly people.  Some Sample Questions  that we asked  for the Muslim  Day parade

 1) Are You Sunni, Shiite or Salami?
 2) Have you ever Farted in Someones face while bending down for Prayers?
 3) Who would win in a Royal Rumble  Jesus Mohamed or Moses?
 4) There was talk to relocate Three million Jews to NYC would you welcome this proposal?
 5) Where is the Gay Islamic Delegation?
 6) Does one need to become a Shaheed to receive the 72 virgins, and are they  fit?
 7) If I converted to Islam can Allah advance me a couple virgins and deduct them from me when i get to heaven?
8) Do you think will ever have an Islamic President in our life time oooops sorry wrong question?
9) Are People with bad foot odor exempt from removing their Shoes?
10) Jesus walked on Water Moses wrote the constitution who is the Main man the Mac-daddy the Big Cheese the Big Kahuna the Milk to the cornflakes in the Islamic?


 We knew whom to ask what as far as us making it out alive...........

Alkoa Presents

Reader DM Submits Lookalikes Shaari Zion regular Abbas who also doubles as jackie mason look a like's father and The Real Mahmood Abbas




   You Make the call? Spend the Harvest Weekend in Atlantic City with RRPG (really really pretty girl) or stay home and Wave a Tree + Plus some branches with a lemon for the next 3 Days?  If You Chose Choice B You are clearly a douche bag.........The Never ending battle Aka 100 years War on Food rages on this Harvest and with  my hair in a dire situation,  I have  showed some resolve by sitting out a Few Meals - Bald and fat = having to pay girls for sex  not a good thing........I finally closed Online dating for good Removing all photos and content Seinfeld would say Whats the deal with online dating do you have to wait on line to date or is it a date on the line heyyy........ A Russian girl from there has my number pretty doubtful she'll call, I actually hope she doesn't..........

The New year

brings in the spirit of Second chances. After Essentially  being ripped for not following up on a date with QG ( queens Girl) She writes " happy and health new year........was thinking in spirit of second chances,rather wondering if you want to start over?.......let me know....Q.... sure why not let's do it. The time 800 a week from Monday the venue Marsha's bakery ( its really Martha's but i like to annoy) is Their a Sukkah at the venue? Doubtful..........DM called me to tell me he's writing to the Daily News regarding Robin Quivers, " would be sick if Howard Read it on the air" Howard Read it on the air, with proper name pronunciation Amazing.........After being excoriated and maligned last year for attending the Islamic parade, i will be once again attending again both from a Journalistic and comedic perspective i know Munrster and Queensbridge are going to cancel on me I've written some good bits or at least i think their good..... Happy Birthday to Queensbridge........Bad Joke If Obama had a son he'd look just like Navy yard shooter Aaron Alex is...... Quick Stat The Hafortah for the book of Jonah Sold for $26k and the Shul of Rabbi Yosef In Har Nof and at the Moscow Shul  for $660K and at Rav Pinto's Shul One Million Big ones  our shul was only able to Muster up $101 by Smoking sensation Charlie..


 

" Never Have I Ever" ,

      

             was the main event during  my night out with a friend who brought along two other friends and a random guy. I was the elder statesman in a group of Three Thirty Year old Girls with Kids and a guy that was Ex Clubber HT roommate ( i never thought that name would resurface here again). We hung out JJN drinks style and anytime you ever did something that was suggested in Never have i ever - You take a shot - I drank a double to watching porn, Making #2 on a date and, kissing  Non Jewish Girls a double on that one also. I promised not to pester one of the girls  on a certain issue and we  shared a cab ride home. As she got dropped off I coughed Costanza style about her share ( of course i was joking) and good thing she didn't get it.  Rumor has it she thought i was "Awesome" but a very irreligious one, I'll take it........

The Syrians and Egyptians

    Covered the Spread in the Yom Kippur War, So i reckon they Can celebrate their "Victory".........20 years to Oslo and Mr " There are two things cant be made with out closing you're eyes, Love and Peace"- Shimon PHeres, Justification to the over 1500 Dead from the Peace " can you imagine how many more would have died had we not signed OSLO.......How the hell did Ali Mehemet Agca and The Turk that used to work for me get into my dream They were planning some sort of attack on the New WTC... Agca A Turkish national is famous for shooting Pope John Paul in 1981.....

REPOST......

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Where were you,

on Sept 11 2001?.  I was working in the showroom at 1407 Broadway Room 521. When the Salesman working with us told me a plane hit the WTC, Not thinking any thing of it i continued my work, thinking it was a small plane accident. An Ex of mine was working in the Same building, was freaked out  (she  actually saw the building come down from her 18th floor window)- We left the building and headed further uptown to a friends apt. A couple of Hours later We started walking back downtown towards the site, We couldn't get very close and were redirected by police towards the Brooklyn Bridge it was a little eerie to see debris covering cars and random papers all over, They gave us Masks for the Dust and we crossed the Brooklyn  bridge,I talked her out of going to Juniors for cheesecake, We took the train home from Dekalb Ave,The MTA let everyone go for free. Here is a great article  on Why Mayor Giuliani Rejected a 10 Million dollar Saudi Donation http://articles.cnn.com/2001-10-11/us/rec.giuliani.prince_1_saudi-prince-alwaleed-bin-israeli-withdrawal-criminal-attack?_s=PM:US.

Bridges to Nowhere ?

      Despite my advanced and Complex lines the "Rejections" are piling up -granted mainly from girls abroad, So let's just blame it on Language. However they are Opportunity's The Ethiopian girl with the Unique name emailed me I promised her a date, and if I weren't so freaking lazy I'd entertain it, Then a Persian girl writes me " I saw you, you live in Midwood " No clue how apparently we spoke last Year B.O. but never got together. looks like will be getting together... Breaking News "Busy Crazy, can we reschedule" ? Of course Fall 2014. An interesting Email from An Israeli Ex pat She writes "We were born in the same city Two months apart" What is Jerusalem? The highlight of our conversation. her Military Service was yup confidential. My backgammon Photo impressed a 40 something year old woman to challenge me to a game, the way i'm playing  stuck almost $200 to Cecil Double Sixes it's not looking good, and neither is our supposed date. I Tex-ted the Russian Nurse i was talking to, she replied "At party now talk to you tomorrow" - " cool have fun have great rest of night", innocent enough i guess not "good luck u garbage u age just like u. U are fu%&ing garbage like u. go see psychiatrist idiot U really need one "  Unsure of what I said I apologized for causing any hurt harm or injustice- But why The Shrink ?.........

Shhhhh

       
       With my upcoming trip to the 51st State, the Homeland of the Jewish people. I have once again decided to try to hit up as many Israeli Girls, the Success rate has been minimal but I have a question what the F is the big secret when i ask them what they did in the Army ? Is it not a good conversation piece? am i not allowed to ask? Their girls there is no shame even if they did secretarial work, but maybe they want to plead army ambiguity to make it seem like they did something really important  but gosh darn it i hate getting  that  " i don't want to talk about it " . Reminds me of my moms cousin  whom allegedly worked with the Shin Bet the Israeli FBI and has been retired over 15 years and every thing with him  is pardon my french "F$^(ign confidential" - I've been  resigned to the fact that he was just part of the Shin Bet Kitchen Staff......  Do people really want people to come over when they tell them "COME OVER" - when they run into them in the street........

A Trayvon Moment

   Roughly 3 months after "Shirt Day" June-5.  My sister in law called me to pick up some Short Sleeve shirts, She meticulously packed them up for me in a large black garbage. At around 11:00 Pm with a water and my large bag  i embarked on the 3+ journey back to my apartment. Never did it cross my mind that I was lugging around a large black garbage full of loot in a very affluent neighborhood. The Zimmerman security was eyeing me and i slowed down to let him know their was no contraband, profiled??......."Our greatest hopes and our worst fears are seldom realized." Our worst fears have been realized tonight. They have now said there were 11 hostages; two were killed in their rooms yesterday morning, nine were killed at the airport tonight. They're all gone.—McKay, 1972.-09-05-72 remembering The Munich massacre..............It's also been Six years to the Intrepid Israeli operation Orchard- an amazing story on the Destruction of the Syrian Arab Center the studies of Arid Zones and Dry lands AKA as their Nuclear Reactor  09-7-07.... No   apologies to all those whom i have caused any hurt, harm,  or injustice Just Statements of Regrets.......and No New years Resolutions only Solutions- Shimon Heres

 

All for G0D

    The Days of Shock and Awe are Upon us, and we hold out at nothing to feel the Lord's Pleasure. Men Killed and were Killed Sanctifying the Creators name, The Great Eric Liddel of Chariots of Fire fame Ran for the glory of G0d. The Good lord must smile down on those who double park, block driveways, hold up traffic, in order to pick up their needs for the Holidays or even better petition the lord in the synagogue all in his name, I wish the Police and meter maids would be more sympathetic. My absolute favorite;  is suppose you lend someone hmm lets say $600  , and he can't pay you back cause he has to have Meat at his Rosh Hashana table " you know how it is". as long as it's for G0d 100% acceptable.....My Jdate Scare tactics have not been very successful thus far. Suggesting to girls that they would have bad luck if they don't reply to my emails  would probably work out better if I were really rich or good looking. Of course no Levity is ever intended.......

THE RUSSIAN PROVERB,

states or a variation of it  " one who doesn't ring in the New Year celebrating won't be celebrating throughout the year"......To The Three People that read this L'SHANA TOVA (Rose Levine Style)... Weird but True I've met two girls from Jdate with the same Exact name ( first and last though one changed for marriage) one in Israel and one in America( RRPG) both Russian... My online aspirations are unclear, But i guess making new FB friends isn't the worst.... Speaking of RRPG I sent her a Rosh hashana Russian Card, maybe get her some Apples + Honey to live up to the Proverb Superstition........

The Chekhov

rule states that If a gun appears on stage it has to be used  by the end of the play- Mr President the curtains.........Re Suckered into joining Jdate yet again I have not gotten to use my scare tactics lines on girls "Failure to reply to my emails will result in bad luck". So far just a Persian Girl from LA who promised to show me around the next and first time I am in LA.. Another observation Most of the Pretty girls happen to be Russian........Looking forward to the Honking, Double parking and Rudeness in general that was missed out during the summer......... Reader submits look a likes Syrian FM Walid Mualam and Ex Israeli DM And PM Ariel Sharon