The Passover Bill of Rights
AMENDED 1. Poor Mans Bread Cost a $#it load of Money
2. Elijah The Prophet Comes in through the Front door and not the Chimney He does NOT bring presents, It is 100% safe to welcome him in
3. In The Haggadah BEN ZOMA is a Scholar and not a Son of a Bitch
4. Everyone is aware the Romanian Lettuce has been Checked for Bugs, You do NOT need to announce, when flying does the Pilot insist on Telling you That every Valise has been Checked for Bombs
5. Macaroons are the officially sanctioned snack of this holiday
6. Double Dipping is not only Allowed But Encouraged,
7. Customary to Not Lace one's Shoes to Symbolize the Shackles our forefathers were chained to in Egypt
8. The Stick that beat the dog that bit the cat that ate the cheese Story is completely bullcrap
9. The Jewish version of the NCAAs start on the second Night, Known as " The Omer"- The rules Single elimination, if you miss it you're out- You may still play at home........this season some have amended to add the quarantine days
10. The commentators say The real reason we eat matzoha is , while escaping from Egypt G0d Wanted to constipate the Jewish people, that no one should have to go to the Bathroom and hold up the rest of the crowd
