Their are 2600,

     Cans of Beer on the Wall  Shaped in an  American flag at the Dream Hotel Located on W.16th Street. Counting  and counting down to the tune of "99 bottles of beer " the cans of Beer on the Wall,  Was not an  Exactly an indication of how my date was going Monday night with a well proportioned  Early Thirties Manhattan brunette.  A Photo of her with Henry Kissinger caught my attention, of which i complimented her,  and fully expected to have an Historical conversation  on his role in the Paris peace accords or Mid east Diplomacy. The Beer cans on the wall were more of an interest to her. Despite living in the area She Strolled in several minutes late and was impressed with my choice of venues.  Letting my eyes wander ,It was not hard to notice her, adjusting her Conspicuous Top, revealing her ample assets Several times. A French Fry Diva, She would never eat a not crunchy fry, and when one of the fries fell down her shirt, I covered my eyes, Well Sorta, Ok I peeked. We never stalled, but really never took off either, it was kind of like driving  Thirty Five in a Fifty Five zone. Walking her partially home, We thanked each other for a fun night and were in agreement to go out again, before Exchanging our last goodbyes............

and we sang

Dirges in the dark, the day the.......... The Only Positive, I can take from the Tisha be Av fast is that it is a Free Diet. Talking to several Secular, Reform, And conservative girls, it was a little astounding that most of them did not even Know this Day Exists in the Jewish calendar. I'll still never get the controversy of Fast time Endings, Seems like everyone can agree on what time it starts....... Sabbath  at the Rubin's is always exciting, The Family is great,  the food is great, g0d is always great and the Mystery of which guests will  show, keeps one in suspense. It would be great to one day throw a party and have all the guests that have Broken Bread there, Mingling in an oasis of Brotherhood. It would be a hell of a crowd........ Asking a girl, i once dated What she was looking for. She basically said someone who will be NICE to her. Laughing it off, " That is supposed to be a given" . I think i understand her more and more, and realized that beyond all the Laundry list of things I am looking for, In a nut shell Just a girl who will be NICE to me............

Quoting Mark

  Twain Again "History does not repeat itself, but it does Rhyme" , The Iran Nuclear Deal perhaps  wont turn out  like the infamous Munich agreement  of 1938 with Chamberlain of England and Daladiar of France Appeasing Hitler for " Peace in our time", Or Bill Clinton Triumphantly Declaring how North Korea Program Would be Neutralized, But is sure as hell has an awful stench that can potential to  dwarf the consequences of those other periods of History....... A great and Spirited Anti- Nuclear Rally was held at Times Square. The Rally in all likelihood will have Zero Impact on the Deal, But it really was very encouraging to see over Ten Thousand People cram into a couple of Blocks. The Police made the Presumptuous assessment That everyone was on the same team, and failed to separate The Ultra anti Zionist's and the crowd. Things Started getting really ugly, until they realized they need to be cordoned off. The Highlight Alan West Great patriotic Speech, Sending the crowd into a frenzy and bringing the house down...........

Thinking Divine

 Retribution was over for my transgression at the Obese woman's Club some 18 years ago. G0d Decided that I can use more Standing up for it.  A great exchange with An Attractive Divorcee, A couple of years my Senior. Led to a planned Upper west Side date. Sympathetic to her traffic woes coming in from NJ. Plans changed,  to meet in Midtown, as she was going to take the bus, " Your not going to believe this"?  Some sort of fluke happened and she missed the bus, Not wanting her to come in later, She asked " What would it take, for you to come to NJ"?.....Hmmm Well,Knowing the answer, but unsure of how to answer it.  Negotiations were going on in my head, Evil triumphed over good and,  I Headed towards the Hudson Crossing, G0d must have been sending me a signal with the Enormous Traffic, and i never made. Exchanging some more texts, We have already arranged for a date at some point Never........

The Grammar Gestapo,

  and I , Scheduled for  Early Evening Sunday date at her hometown of Jersey City. Maybe She did not want to come into the city or maybe just maybe She will invite me... Naa... Not being able to find a spot, I parked in an open Lot, With out an attendant, preparing for the worst. I'm not specifically sure what went right on the first date, but everything pretty much went wrong on the Second, Their was awkwardness, Brief spurts of silence and several uhhhh and hmms. The Only thing consistent was that She Kept tabs on my grammar and interrupted my thoughts at every Error I made. It sure beats the hell out of silence. I Wished we would have substituted this date for the First date, that way we could have avoided this whole second date. Not sure what she saw in me, I was everything she was NOT looking for, as she 90% of what i was Not looking for, With the 10% being more important. Walking out She cracked a smile when i asked her to pray to g0d for me that my car was not towed. Wisely  The Agnostic Jew promised to pray to whomever she felt was that superior being. The Prayers were answered, and parking for free made me feel like a winner, That is Until the Holland Tunnel Traffic.........

Benjamin

 Netanyahou famously once said " if i walked across the sea of Galilee," the Israeli papers and critics would write " Bibi can't Swim" -   I am afraid that the Iran Nuclear deal is a Fait accompli, and despite Netnayahou, Doing everything, or almost everything possible to prevent Iran from Getting the bomb, History will not be kind, and the free nations of the world will Never Ever forgive Bibi....... The reason You GO bowling and not PLAY bowling is that it is forbidden in the English Language to combine Two Verbs with out a preposition. This was the Valuable lesson I learned from my New Date Wednesday. A Stickler for language, I had a most difficult time, finishing a sentence with out being grammatically corrected. An Agnostic by Choice, Jewish by Faith, She was really cute, and had
Zero tolerance  for nonintellectual, conservative, climate change denying, Religious, Israeli's with Poor Grammar. Luckily she either thought i was funny or Attractive, otherwise she would not have seemed surprised that I would ask her out again, with her of course saying Yes, and for the first time in a very long time Their will be church on Sunday.............

Starting the

 Week  Zero for Three, it really wasn't relevant weather i was the Rejected or the ejector. I't simply meant that me and my dates did not connect for a potential Future, and in one case didn't even Connect. Needing to up my game, Impress, and increase my chances. For my next date, I went to my Ace in the hole RE for an a recommendation on a great upper east side Lounge or bar. Nineteen Minutes late my date Strolled in, looking Especially pretty, Especially Tall, Especially Hot, Especially reminding me of an Ex, and especially Impressed. " You come here a lot"? nonchalantly I replied  I've been to  Mark Hotel ( 77 and madison ) A few times before. Sitting on low Couches, She kept adjusting her Short skirt, pretending not to notice, We got off to a Vapid Start. She opened up about her passions, and Whoa, Well not that kind of Whoa, but as an accomplished Singer, and Piano player, with a love for Leonard Cohen, We Went Hallelujah, line for line, She taking the message of Faith over the lamentation of a love gone bad. She excused herself to the ladies room, and I began making conversation with our neighbors to the right  Bernie and Jane, both septuagenarian, and Jewish. He a divorce attorney, She apparently a big deal in the Trench coat designing Business.  We all Exchanged particulars, and as the conversation continued, my Date became more dismissive of me, I don't think it was purposely,and the eerie similarities to the Ex were resonating more and more. Walking her to her car, We went back to the Hallelujah, repeating the line to her then in my head several times  .....and even though it all went wrong, I'll Stand before the lord of song..... made me realize that Yeah she was right it is faith.........

Several

   correspondence on jdate, Followed up with a few texts, Led to a Monday night Date with a captivating Blond in the union Square area. Strolling into the W hotel, Some Seven minutes late, She had little trouble spotting me, as it was either me or the Heavy Set Indian Brother sitting to my left. Her rule, never  talk about dating war stories, but mentioned how much she Loathed " Coffee Dates" Statistically guys that do those have been known to be cheap. We Spoke of nothing exciting, With plenty of Excitement and banter. Due to  her early morning commitments, She had to cut the night short, but not before I dropped a Bombshell on her. She never gave me her name, I had her stored in my phone " Jdate girl that never gave me her name", She was shocked, but not surprised and finally Asked  "If things had not gone well tonight, Would you have asked me my name" ? Ambiguously I replied " I'll Answer that, next time", Heading home in opposite directions, we both knew what that answer really meant......  

Scheduled

  with  a Relatively, Semi Heimeshe upper west side Young lady for a Saturday night Encounter at the 8th floor Hotel Bar at the Times Square Marriott. Very late to confirm, I was ready to take my punishment like a man.  She apologized for the later reply and we sat for our religious style date, minus the chaperon  of course. Judging from her photos, It could have gone either way, and i think it may not have gone the right way on this night. Our Mutual passion of Israel, led to over Two hours of conversation of which I can Yenter it up for hours. Playing the chivalrous card, and not expecting her to take me up on the offer to drive her home, she did just that, Despite me not purposely parking a little far. Could have been that she liked me? Traffic sucked on the West side Highway, but what the hell, chivalry was not dead...........Someone Suggested that Pete Rose and Bruce Jenner Should become friends.......

G0d is Great, G0d

 is merciful, G0d forgives and here's why.  Eighteen Years ago I transgressed by  running away from a date i was supposed to meet at the really really fat women's club in  downtown Manhattan. I knew that G0d, does not have a statue of limitations on Karma, and have been awaiting for divine retribution to kick in, and praying it wont be harsh. Messaging a really pretty girl, whose faith it didn't matter. We hit it off real quick, and with her being in  union square area,She suggested we meet. Confirming for 600-615, I suggested the " Coffee Shop" , It's got a great bar, comfortable seating, it's popular and seems to always be happening. Feeling the rage in the text "Coffee shop really", I suggested several other places in the area as her Text went silent way beyond the 615 mark. Finally at 6:43 " I am thoroughly insulted at coffee bar, Really "? My explanation of the place, fell on deaf ears, and i double down by further mentioning  other Non insulting places. In all likely hood, a better opportunity arose for her, and she pretended to be outraged, after all we knew each other a grand total of 19 Text message exchanges, granted some messages  exceeded a few lines.Lamenting being stood up over a $5 a point backgammon, The bulb went off in my head, On this day the Benevolent one Decided to pay me back for i did to that Unfortunate young lady some eighteen years,  Their were dates that  have canceled  last minute, Dates that showed up very late, heck some dates even made me Shelp their valises, but Standing me up Never. It's a relief knowing that i finally was given my long and overdue punishment........Of course I would have wanted it come, perhaps one night Earlier When I...............to be continued.........




       

Houston, We

 Sorta of have a problem. The Addicting state of online dating, may have gotten out of control. After Several lines and no numbers Exchanged, The Empire Rooftop Hotel Bar was the Venue for my Next date. The really really good news was that she must have liked my photos, and that can mean....... The Not so good news was, Her Ethnicity was ambiguous and I figured that She was probably Jewish, Due to her name Dropping the city of Naharia, When she went out there to visit. It's like visiting Sderot of the North..Meeting at Seven, The Bar wouldn't open till 830, we Settled at one of the Broadway Bars across the street. Sweating profusely, She sensed nervousness, but it was really the Lack of  air Conditionings . Mustering up the courage i Asked, How she identifies, She hesitated for a second before replying Black of course, with a really interesting twist. We spoke the language of levity, Both knowing  not to cross the line, and offending, but definite not being Politically correct. We agreed that labeling prefix- American was just silly for the record she would be African- Jamaican- Hungarian- Irish- Syrian American.  Mercifully, we ended the night, but both had a really good excuse, our disdain for Sweating. Bummer, We " forgot" to exchange numbers ohh Well........ A Nice gesture by a Restaurant in Israel to waive the bill for a couple of Soldiers with the message "Thanks for you're service it's on us".  Some comments, Bashing the place for Charging 33 NIS for a Paganini, etc, rather than the gesture . Only in Israel..............

Not wanting to

     Attend  the wedding of a friends Sister alone, I volunteered to Chauffeur Three Lovely Ladies to Jewish Center in Old Westbury. The Girls were all pretty, made up, smelled really good, and even one of them came with her umbrella, I didn't bother asking why.  They Complimented me on Creed Cologne and insisted I didn't overdue it Shamie Style with the Sprays. We Gelled instantly, and spoke mainly of  relationship, our connection to the Bride, and how it wasn't their  fault that we were going to be there really early, Despite the Traffic. Arriving Way Way  before the ceremony, We mingled over Horus devours, and continued the small talk.  We ran into  Two Macabee TA Players Sean James, and Silvan landsberg, who could have easily passed for Plaxico Burres and Odel Beckham Jr. The Chuppa kicked off Two Hours later and despite a little rain the couple were joined in Holy Matrimony.To Bad one of the girls forgot the umbrella in my car. The Girls insisted on staying really late, and we promised to rekindle our  new friendships once we got back. Texting them to make sure they got in ok, Their was still the issue of the fancy Umbrella with the CC label on it. I Messaged Umbrella Girl that I'm in her area and,  I'll be sure to drop it off.  She thanked me graciously, and with a slight innuendo I told her that I did not want her to be pissed at me whenever she got wet, She laughed at said never. Some more exchanges led me to  nonchalantly  asking her out. " Maybe" ?, at least it wasn't a NO, We continued messaging and then she stopped, Regurgitating back to my old ways, I Stopped also, and it looks like we will be hanging out sometime Never again...........

Whenever A

  Girl, I am interested in Replies to me in similar Fashion  that I reply to girls that are interested in me ( it happens on occasion )  and I am not in them, That eerie feeling of ughh overcomes me and it's time to stop.  A Rehash with a girl, I went out with  last September, it surprised me that she reached out, and we Set on meeting at the same venue as last time.  Early as usual, It shocked  and saddened  me to see the doors shuttered at the Stone Rose Lounge at Columbus circle, turns it out they had shut down the previous night, Due to a high rent increase. Quickly improvising I got a table at the outdoor Piano bar. A Published Author, She had a lot of Exciting things going on for her, As I was Especially Excited about Two of those. I spend a very good portion of the night Interviewing her, with most of her answers being open ended and finishing with the " it depends".  A breakthrough late in the evening, not the one i was wishing for, She finally opened up and seemed like she was having fun. Dropping her off, confidently I suggested we should do this again, as she said she had a really good time and would like that. For the record,  She was of sound body and mind and not under duress when she said that. Shooting off, a thought out NON creepy  nice Text, She replied in the same way, i would reply to someone that I was NOT interested in. With a Banal and Generic " I had fun too, Good night". Not Stalkeish, But Excessive persistence, as the Great EEE would Describe it I tried again, and this time got half the answer............. No church on Sunday........ Shocking to believe that For the first time in  world financial meltdown History, This time in Greece, The Jews weren't involved.

Weighing her Options,

       
  Date #4  At Three Thirty, finally Confirmed  the 700 Monday night date, at the Loews Hotel bar on park Avenue. With So many options All Guys and girls Tentatively Schedule, With the Hopes that Something better comes, So Suffice to say I was her Best Option for that time..... She had no trouble spotting me as i was the only person not wearing a suit, and probably the poorest too. Another non Drinking date, We broke bread over appetizers, Fries. and some really great spicy Free Nut mix. We shared Story's and Bonded over our nonchalant attitude towards Social Issues.  Though She didn't find  the Hasidim gesture of Hiring Mexican Day Laborers with Traditional Hasidim Garb and signs to protest the Gay Peoples Parade Funny, of which I suggested she look at how funny the photos were. I politely and vehemently declined her offer to split the bill, and it was still  Unclear if this  Date of No choice was heading towards Bliss,or the abyss.  She Quickly answered that, by splitting as I headed to relieve myself............39 Years ago, Operation Thunderbolt, later renamed Yoni was launched. PM Yitzhak Rabin at the time Penned an Unsigned Resignation letter, Should the operation Fail.  Thankfully He Had to Resign for other reasons a few months Later......

Date Three

 of the Week, Began in Similar Fashion to Date Two; Murder Traffic. My Second Greatest fear, of being late was overcome as i made it to the West Village bar with a couple Minutes to spare. She looked Pretty,  Elegant, really well put together, Smelled great,had that amazing British Accent, and to put it over the top utilized the Oxford comma. With neither of us Drinking it was sodas, and Cheese platters.  A spirited discussion over the spelling of Blue Cheese, and as it turns out i was wrong and the menu Spelled it correctly Bleu, spilled over to our dating war stories, of which her's were a lil more interesting than mine. We Spoke of the IRA and then the Israeli- Arab Conflict of which i was suspicious where her sympathy's lied, Not Trying to win hearts and minds, and in a serious mode, not trying to win  the other stuff too, though it would be nice. I suggested one needs to See, and hear both narratives, but i understood that the UK is inherently Anti- Israel. She was going to go to Israel last summer, but thank's to Obama, Delta Grounded all flights for a while, she chose Brazil. It saddened me a little that we got along so well, as I was probably A little too Jewish for her, and by a lot. Leading me to think again of why even go out..... Their is an answer?..............