"Mr Super, Superman",

How do i Address you Sir? Meir that's all . That of course being Ex Mossad Chief Meir Dagan Who is responsible for numerous operations, and putting the fear of G0d into the Enemies of the Jewish State. I handed a business Card it was RE real estate Business card and told him to call her- He Looked at the photo on the card, and excitedly  said She's Beautiful is she you're girlfriend? I told him I wish- he Smiled took her card, i asked him if he can sign one also- Both TD bank pens I had weren't writing Luckily for me  Malcolm " who made an unauthorized trip to Damascus with a bunch of Syrian creeps to reap praise on the Assad's" Hoenlin handed him a pen - he wrote a short message smiled and wished me luck. I Spared asking him about that trip over the nice gesture. I gave out RE's card to Ambassador Prosor and a few others. Ask me Why? No Clue.......  I sat in the Second row Behind the main dignitaries and happily shared in the chorus of boos that Former PM Ehud Olmert Received. He got irritated as someone from the back Shouted "Neville"   a clear reference to his Appeasement and ass kissing policies he Spewed a bunch of Nonsense and tried Belittling Enviorment Minister Gilad Erdan from the Likud as petty and Young, Erdan un intimidated gave it back to him. Dershowitz chided the crowd for Booeing OBAMA. At lunch I said with an early 40's single woman, not bad though I think I may have been able to hook up with her, But ditched her to speak to the politicians. The Conference was Fun but way to long, No more Zionist Jury Duty for me...................

Zionist Jury duty,

 a while back i not only signed up but also paid money to attend  The Jerusalem Post " Zionism Conference. In a Spurt of a moment thing i just did, A couple weeks later i learned that Mr Ehud Olmert an Adversary of the Jewish People would be a speaker and Panelist, It was to late to cancel. Now I  am out $499.99 and going to an all day Zionist conference at the Marriott Hotel. Some Notables attending Meir Dagan, Gilad Erdan, Gabi Ashkenazi, Danny Danon Etc.... SU text me "how about Sunday" - can't miss Zionist Jury Duty........I gave the OK for the new girl, pending of course if she's of sound body and mind and agrees. My mind has been occupied, It's not realistic but As Hertzel and EE Say " If you will it then  it's no Fantasy". My will needs to get a lot bigger for it to happen.........

Her Turn,

       As customary i text SU to "Confirm" for tonight. A couple hours later, i get the call, " you don't sound to well"- the Allergies have struck again, don't worry  "i totally understand things happen ( a lot), it's cool just feel better" - I made a generic offer for FDA drugs, and told her. if she'd like to reschedule call me. She said she'll go  for coffee or Tea at a place called the Inkwell. The Alkoa Presents You make the call - Do I drive out an hour out of my way to meet up with a girl, who will probably be at 10% at best, no chance for action, slim chance for future, discussing allergies, But at least wont be eating Sushi Or just go Home. " We will Reschedule Then     i guess "- not sure what the blank space in her text meant, but onwards, a Friend's  Sister is trying to get me to go out with someone from her area that she may know I didn't say OK yet, as the Double Dipping is too close to home and they may know each other.........

My Turn ,

to Rain Check with SU .  I was supposed to once again Trek out to the Holy City, but Jury duty Thwarted those plans. She was as understanding to that as i was to "allergygate" . After a short conversation, we Scheduled for Thursday- Time TBA- +30 minutes.........I spoke to BB, maybe i am weird, but it felt like i was Interviewing her, i would make a statement or ask a question and would get a lengthy answer, which i would interject with a comment here and there we spoke for about an hour, tentatively scheduling to meet up again...... Correction i mistakenly called the "Meat Packing " area " Meat Packaging", thanks to RE for clarification........Happy 64th to the Residents and those who have Served the Zionist state.........

Democracy in Action...

  After Several years of dodging Jury Duty The Great Democratic process caught up with me- For those who have NOT participated here is play by play for those who have you can just Skip this Entry......

 1. Pass by metal detector and proceed to a large room by 8:30 AM

 2. You fill out an additional card they give you and Watch a Short Movie on how important is to perform you're civic duty I'm Sure Diane Sawyer and the late Ed Bradley did it many times 9:00

 3. An orientation on what to fill out, how to fill out what you can or can not do is given for about an hour ( please note you may not Tweet or FB Status anything related to Jury Duty) supposedly they have an App that tracks you - I quickly deleted my "to hell with democracy" Status

4. Around 1045 they began calling out names and assigning them to different Rooms - I didn't get called until 11:33

5. Twelve of us were in the Room where we fill out a questionnaire about ourselves - But only 8 out of the 12 were asked prospective questions to be on a trial of a Spanish woman who fell in a Korean Supermarket - the breakdown  2 African American woman 2 white women  1 old Chinese guy 1 African American 1 Gringo 3 Haseedems, and a Syrian Kid - Me and The Hasedeems were not questioned

6. It Ended 12:37 We broke for Lunch early from 12:49 -2:00

7. The Selection starts again and  at 2:48 20 of us were called for a Different Trial  - It was a lot of the same crowd - This Time I was called to answer questions one of the Ten. The Lawyer Went on and on, and unfrontuatly for him 4 of the 10 Spoke little to No English so it became an Issue The case a Jewish  woman was in a car accident and was Suing another woman for Damages for Injuries both Mentaly and physically - I Quoted Howard Stern with John Sarnau not believeing there is any pyscholigical injuries and was dismissed the lawyer was a fan and complimented me on my hobbies that I put in the Questionaire( Watching paint dry, Staring at walls coming to Jury Duty and ping pong)

8. Back to the Main hall at 4:02, We were dismissed at 4:33 as there were no more cases to be called youre name gets called, You hand it one of your'e papers and get back a certificate and told to come back in 8 years

    A Special Tip to get out of Jury Duty- Become a Non Citizen  Single Parent Convicted Felon who can hardly communicate in English.........

Zionist Independence

  is no Stranger to controversy to the Local Syrian Community - With out any clear cut Halachic Decree As to what prayers should be added or omitted The Debate rages on. The consensus agreement is not to  say Tachanunin With exception to the Ateret and other Black Hat Factions- But Do you Recite the Hallel? The Argument against is that prayers are NOT to be tampered with and no one in modern times can make an halachic ruling to add prayers to what has been established. Why not make a special prayers for the Miracle of the 6 day war and Yom Yerushalyim, or other Spectacular Israeli Operations ( Opera or Thunderbolt)- and further more Independence day was set up by seculars and anti- religious zealots- Religious Zionists claim that the Declaration of the State is the Rebirh of a nation exiled after 2000 years fulfilling the prophecy of  Shaviem Tziona, and the miracle needs to be properly acknowledged in the prayer books. As Someone not very Religious it Doesn't really matter to me whats said or not- But I tend to Believe that Prayers should be left to those original Scholars that composed them. With that will see if a repeat of last years controversy occurs............

Buzzed....

     i am probably one of the least coolest people i know, After helping "RE" girl with moving a little, we decided actually more her than me to hit the town ( this is how i know I'm uncool by using that term). By The time we got out it was Kukuc time ( Kukuc is a Russian clubber who always told me it was too early to get girls until 3:00 am). RE is a nighttime aficionado, Incredibly   She knew where, what, who, the crowds, the food, the drinks etc... IT was like me mouthing off where every NBA player from the mid 80s and 90s went to college. Unfortunately every thing was closed, but you can always count on the meat packaging district. We settled at some hotel bar and were sharing a drink they call "loneliness"- and some McDonald's style fries. I  got buzzed after couple drinks, but wasn't belligerent, except for swearing probably a little to much i don't remember doing anything stupid, it was my first time getting buzzed since Sept 07 in Israel i also go robbed or to be fair missing Money. RE was good to drive, though she was scary a little with or with out the sauce- she looked amazing and couldn't have been more fun............

Your'e browser

 is no longer supplied by Blogger some parts of the blog will not work and you may experience problems.  i obviously had problems, thanks to DM  it's sort of solved...........Su girl text me Friday- she doesn't mean to bother me, but she lost some lip gloss stuff, can I look for it" - I'll get right on top of it, even if i have to call in the 661 Search and rescue, the Search came up Empty. women's studies specialist EE Thinks it was just an excuse for her to text me, i vehemently disagree. We scheduled for Tuesday night BUT - all the jury duty notices i used to chuck away finally caught up with me and I have go Tuesday - i told her if she has other plans i don't want to hold her up, i guess Ill find out today........ "in the Shadows of the Gallows 21.04.47", Fienstien and Barazani one heart, one people, a heroic Zionist tale........BB text me wishing a good weekend, after some back and forth we maybe getting together sometime this week as well, depending on my Jury duty.....

The Holy city ?

I left late, that is late for me, to Syrian Jewry second holiest city, I still wind up getting there over 30 minutes early for our Scheduled 7:30 date. A Text comes through is "is 8-8:15 OK? if not i understand"- It's a good thing there are no expression icons on texts i replied Sure Ill hang out with the Akinator no problem. She replied I'll try to Hurry- take as much time as you need- I didn't really care at this point. Not all familiar with the Holy city, i made several trips to the local 7-11. Sitting in front of her house for about 10 minutes  i was fortunate to meet the parents, who couldn't have been nicer, i was going to ask them to use the restroom But felt awkward . Su came outside, i put her valise in the car, Only 45 minutes late this time, Unsure of her Mood I asked if she wanted to go back to Brooklyn - she answered the question with the same question -  we cleared it up and headed for Sushi in Red Bank, NJ. Thanks to the "NOSH"* i ate at 7-11 I didn't mind Sushi, cause I wasn't really hungry. Past relationships, Mutual friends, and Future was  at the forefront of the the conversation, and she did have a lot of interesting stories to share. Three things I probably would never learn, how to make my bed, how to make a Tie, and chopsticks, I struggled mightily ( she tried to help) with them and was granted a pass to eat with my hands.  Conversation continued to flow on the long ride home, mostly fun, A great tip she gave me - Put Jelly Rings in the Freezer. " Be In Touch "- Church on Sunday.........

Air Line Flights,

during bad weather, suggest you keep checking up on the Status of you're flight for either delay or cancellation. After two Flight Cancellations  SU girl and I Are set for Tonight, I confirmed last night Some 24 hours before and again During the Day - "Yeps" - Great see u 730.  Since I'm on her Home Turf, with no clue where I'm going  and also  beat the crap out of my navigation system, She's going to make the plans.......I have generally done a good job avoiding the Rabbi from Chabad, But he's a lot more clever and  smarter than me. In addition to the donation, he got me the # of a Russian Girl whom by his own admissions is "Hot",( he could be lying ) he shaved a few years off my age, added a couple extra 0s to my bank account and were in Business- "White Lies"........

Allergy Season,

is pretty Brutal, Especially when the girl I was supposed to go out in all likely hood is Allergic to Me. Through out the short conversation, with innuendos and Hints  it appears that she was trying to get me to cancel and I wanted her to be the do it . The Dating Diplomacy yielded no results, until  She got back to me and suggested maybe Thursday? " Sure and if not another time"( another time in dating lingo= Never ) we have till next passover until the statue of limitations on Second Dates runs out........ Sometimes I forget how Omnipotent G0d is, i forgot and got punished - I mentioned to a friend that this girl we both knew had a bad case of nippleideyis- On the treadmill Suddenly out of nowhere i got a severe case of nippleideys i blamed on my cheap Pakistani T- shirt but I already know the reason.....I had a Power meeting with some Business Executive channeling our creative minds in search of ways to make Money, Nothing stuck yet, but we were in agreement to meet again.  With their consent only i can post some of the Ideas............

"Ill Let you Know",

 Haha I already Knew that the trip to city of Atlantic was not happening, A Rule when Someone tells you "Ill let you know", just as in "Maybe", "Blie neder" or "I'll try", is  just a nice way of Saying No. We are Rescheduled for Tuesday Em Yirtze Hashem........Correction I am on the grobocks side and not on the non Grobocks as posted in last entry........ It Bothered me a little  watching a really Hot girl on CNN - Discussing her Blog about depression and Sanjay Gupta Eating it up- I can't Imagine what the hell can she possibly be depressed about, "I Should be Depressed", which I am not, but watching Jerry Springer over the holiday I did feel a lot better about myself.......Chaverim is a Excellent organization, I was supposed to open the door By the "Chilonim" relatives of mine Sunday, But was locked out , With- in 10 Minutes  Chaveriem came and opened the door......It's Weird when someone much Older Than You See's you and playfully Slaps you and tells people " He  knew you when you were in Diapers" the Wheel is always in Spin and Now I can reply  "Now I know you when you are in Diapers" , I would Never.........

Biblical weekend

 Just like Yona, who sat himself under the kikayaon, waiting excitedly for Ninveh to be destroyed I got to shul  about 10 minutes early to watch watch the  Rabbi's "UVA Letzion" explosion. I sat up close and anxiously awaited the " heeee or nuuuuu" much to my disappointment, I didn't know that the "uva Letzion" act of 1999 was repealed and the singing went on with out any commotion or controversy........ The Rubin's graciously invited me for their 2nd half  Passover feast, after the first night - the Rubin's requested my presence and invited me for the second night as well of course invoking How queen Esther invited Haman to her feast twice. Besides the food, the highlight was a minor skirmish and the argument Gobrocks V's Non Gobrocks, I think I'm on the non team..... Friendly reminder to the Holes getting their talits in shul, Please Get You're talit and Go- You don't need to make the blessing in front of the rest of the Talitot and Block peoples way- i may donate a sign that reads that......One last note on Shul Thursday night I felt the Inside of my Jacket to reveal a small stash of cash ( it was 20s), of course I did what any Good Jew would do..............

The Greatest Two Minutes,

 in Sports? What is the Kentucky Derby - The greatest 5 seconds for me in Judaism is  in  Shul watching the Rabbi " Hacham Hillel"  get Irritated at People attempting to sing Uva L'Tzion on non sabbath Day Holidays- Something to Look forward to the Second half of Passover....... I have a Great idea, I can't reveal the nature of this Idea yet, But it's something for a TV network, This can be bigger than Big......... On the subject of Ideas, EE Radical Idea will probably come to fruition the city of Atlantic Sunday with  SU girl - She likes gambling and "Sunday Seems OK"...... The "Big Show", Dinner at  Rubins with my uncle, and possibly my Ex Aunt  always manages to Excite, A special thank you for the invitation.........

Nothing Beats

 
getting a Phone call from a girl Fifteen Minutes before picking her up, telling you She lost track of time and is running Twenty Minutes late, I was relieved that she wasn't "Crazy Busy".  Thanks to the App. The akinator, that my nieces told me about I didn't really mind that she was 42 minutes. The Akinator is great some notable clues it got  Eric the Midget, Bababooey, Joey Buttafuco and some porn stars, I stumped him on Shaul Mofaz, and Chaim Arlozoroff.  I picked her up Downtown, and the fact that she was late made me a lot looser, and care free. She looked like her photo and  Things were interesting almost instantly, We discussed the Statue of limitations of someone being a Boat - and it was determined that you can never really get rid of the tag, There was a small line waiting to be seated and she was being smothered, i told her it was customary for Israelis and J-Dubbs to inch up, But do what the Syrians do Just cut the line, It wasn't long enough. I mentioned something about the Hasidic Sect, She thought i was Talking about Hasdic Sex, I blamed it on being ESL. Things went a lot smoother after that, and she was open and "Herself", This was her Second Blind date, I am Pretty sure it went a lot better than her First....... Even Money for Church on Sunday.........

"Radical Idea",

of taking Setup Girl to Atlantic City suggested to me by EE, in all likely hood will not come to Fruition, I left her a message yesterday She called me back while I was Busy Bowling a 186 with BB girl whom i covered the Spread in all Three games we played, I Called her back but haven't heard from her yet, In Her words " No Worries".......... Hypothetical- Someone Picks up Say 100 Dimes, Counts it up and counts an extra 2 Dimes- Does he say Something?..........

Persian Style,

    dating for this week Not my Concept but should you take out any girls this week no dinner is required. I am still up in air with the Set Up but supposedly Tuesday is good, I have 0.0 Plans Except for my Radical idea. BBGirl and  I may get together also, I'm Guessing it's either the let's be friends, let's Move on, let's Get it on ( not that way ) Conversation..........Does  Rabbenu Tam, have a Nephew That decides to finish even after he did. The Shul In LI that I prayed at as described by my Brother is To Hot, Finishes to late, and to Radical.  The newly Baal Tshuvas are perhaps Judaism's most radical sect, They Take everything Way to literally and leave no room for interpretation. prayers took over Three hours in the morning and the night they didn't start Until after the Holiday ended...........I bribed my nieces and Nephews not to ask questions at the Seder, They wer not  very compliant........

My Dog ate,

my Homework, is the equivalent for saying I received you're cellphone message 3 days late, Both can happen both unlikely but in this case the latter was True.....For the Second time in two dates with BB girl the restaurant Screwed up the reservation, We went through the usual Talk  basketball, Politics Friends, Beit hillel, beit Shamie, Philosophy and eavesdropping, Which we were both guilty of, and getting along well until she mentioned Coach K.  The Road to getting Feedback is way to bumpy, I'll just call her and wait if I dont hear from her by Monday night means no church .........4/4 44 years ago  Shots Ring out of the Memphis Sky the assassination of MLK-  Jesse "Hymie Town" Jackson fabricated his story that held King as he was dying.......Random Set up a friend of mine though a friend of hers  is setting me up with a girl that her friend knows but she doesn't- We spoke briefly, and may meet up next week- I have a radical idea for where to take her.......

Passover Notes:

Some things to Ponder Before Celebrating the Holiday of Freedom:

  1. Poor Mans Bread Cost a $#it load of Money
  2. Elijah The Prophet Comes in through the Front door and not the Chimney He does NOT bring presents
  3. In The Haggadah BEN ZOMA is a Scholar and not a Son of a Bitch
  4. Everyone is aware the Romanian Lettuce has been Checked for Bugs, You do NOT need to announce, when flying does the Pilot insist on Telling you That every Valise has been Checked for Bombs
  5. Macaroons Are Essential to Have weather you eat them or Not, It's our Modern Day version of the Hillel Sandwich
 6. Double Dipping is not only Allowed But Encouraged, This may or may not be applicable with you're local Massage Parlor
 7. Customary to Not Lace one's Shoes to Symbolize the Shackles our forefathers were chained to in Egypt
 8. The Jewish version of the NCAAs start on the second Night, Known as " The Omer"-  The rules Single elimination, if you miss it you're out- You may still play at home..........
9. For the Married:- Yeast is Hametz
10. For the Single:- If you ask out a girl and she tells you, she has a lot of weddings and party's to attend, Means shes washing her hair Take a Hike.................

Worst NCAA,

 Tournament in recent memory.......  A girl Skips over a bunch of treadmills to take the one near me according to EE, She's making "Eye Contact". She looked very familiar and i think i may have gone out with her a while ago-  According to Dennis Green I wasn't sure if she was who I thought she was, So I didn't use the old gym conversation  lines that EE gave me........After texting for a short while  I met up with a girl from online- First the Good news- Probably the best Cleavage Ever Now for the bad news Probably the best cleavage ever, It ended mercifully after 37 Minutes which includes me dropping her off 20 blocks away at her  brother's  she was helping him after he a small fire ( it was real she showed me photos)..... Weird   I got a voicemail from BB girl Monday Night wishing me a Shabbat Shalom and saying sure she'd like to go out again, She's free next week, It didn't register that she left the VM on Friday but it didn't show in my phone till tonight, and no missed call, Ill call her tomorrow..............

I may as,

 well be dating the City of NY, Thanks to the Love letter from The DMV extorting another $300 for that Speeding Ticket I got, My fines to the city this month are Over $600- and  Just like My dates my return Zero.Zero......It's been about a year since I prayed at the Ave J area Still No Progress Regarding the Halabi or Shami Situation, I am waiting for the first Boat to cross the line..It was funny to see an Exodus of people  Just walk out of the Shul during the "Ketirot" there like leaving a game early with out shaking hands.....No Call back from BB girl No Worries..... A Law for Passover - One doesn't not lace up his Shoes or Sneakers to Represent the Shackles that our ancestors broke out of leaving Egypt......10 Years to "Chomat Magen" or Defensive Shield, The Israeli Operation to root out Terror after a Suicide Bomber Killed over 30 people at the Park Hotel in Netanya......