I will be,

a real Jew This Rosh Hashana and Pray for FREE. All New years celebrations don't bring me any excitement, Realistically whats going to change after praying and eating and praying and eating. I pretty much  only just look forward to see whose going to fight in shul......... I decided to Re Join Jdate with out paying, but then i got the same emails I usually get and decided to pony up the 39.99. Nothing exciting so far........ My Mother wanted to go out for my Birthday, I told her she could  with out me, I felt bad a little that i may have come off mean. I just choose not to celebrate, and don't think its excessive to change the date on FB, those posts bother me.....I felt like a criminal Trying to get Insurance under my own name I have a cellphone Violation from Sept 2008, Got hit in the back by a cab in 2009, Alleged Aggressive driving charge in NJ DEC 2009, and a Speeding Ticket sometime in 2007.......Sephlink Agent wanted me to call another agent to ask about the girl she was trying to hook me up with, I didn't care eneough to do it. Also I think the right play with "Mix up" girl is to just let it go........A retraction I like the Secular American Jews especially Rose Levine that add the  L' in their Shana tova grettings.......The Enemy( food) is going to be fierce this holiday.............

Being back for Two

days the Israeli is still in me, i am still overly aggressive, hyper and using a lot more Middle Eastern profanity that I should be and for no reason......... Someone in Michigan Named his Dog Mohamed, I thought it was funny, apparently there is going to be a Jihad waged against the poor bastard. It  made me reconsider my TEK- Beer project as the word Tekbeer in Islam is a holy word, and of course Beer is Haram ...... No  douche bag Phony Happy New Year Posts mass Emails or Texts. I wish us Jews can go out drinking and partying like they do in Chinese and regular New Years,we get the Shofar.......A Short while a go there was a mix up with a girl I went out with and would have gone out with again. I thought PH was exercising Rejection Diplomacy ( she just doesn't respond to a follow up as not to insult the rejected party) So I didn't pursue it, turns out the girl was interested, I promised PH I would call the girl to clear her conscience. Only if I knew what the hell to say, perhaps Honesty is the best policy in this scenario, Ill make up something.........Stat of the day I am 2 -23 in non shabbat Shul days this month........

Lines, Lines

Everywhere Lines at the Airport in Ben gurion - took me an 1:18.23. To pass through all the lines. The most brutal of course is by the El Al check in where they have two lines on top of the other and people plant themselves in the middle. There was some belligerency( i have video)but it passed. I kept running into the same woman at every line, Turned out to be former Oregon and NBA player Luke Jackson's Mother in law- She came to help her daughter get settled in with her new baby as Luke is playing for Hapoel Jerusalem. She was pretty hot and we had a good sports conversation especially about OSU and how a crappy coach Obama's Brother in law is. The girl at the check in asked me if  my emergency contact was my wife - I told her nope my dad I'm single, rich and look like a bus ran over my face- she asked Why am I flying coach then?.....All that was on  my mind was the enormous customs lines wait that was waiting for us at Kennedy, but turned out to run relatively smooth. Time from when Plane touched down to the cab a 1:6.41.4 seconds....... Stat of the day.....All people who inch up to you on lines are Israeli...but not all Israelis are Line incher uppers......Sephlink called a with "same girl but different color " I said OK, it's in G0ds hands.......

Tel Aviv,

 Was a bust. Crappy Hotel, Friends too tired. Rain and Humidity, and Friends cancel  on me . Walking on the Boardwalk Friday i was amazed to see How many Arabs there were in Tel Aviv/ Jaffa.......If you are in Israel please notice that all cashier and security personal have stools or chairs to sit on. Did you Know that   it was a LAW passed by new Labor party  leader Shelly yachmimovich- Insane.....  While walking to find a shul on Shabbat in the rain( the only part of the day it rained) I  ran into a French Sephardi minyan The Rabbi and congregation were real nice but the tunes and Hazanoot make "Hacham Mordechai  Nadav" look like a Sunday School teacher. They overly bless everyone sounds phony but i think they mean well.  I stayed for my first Torah class since the H bush administration,  not sure if it counts cause it was in French....

The News again

    fed me that there was going to be a lot of action in Jerusalem today "Jumma prayers at Al Aksa". So i  left TA and went back to jerusalem to see the action. Security was beefed up all over the Damasacus Gate and the E. jerusalem area, and no major problems. I did run into a Minyan for "Jumma" and I will say this These guys are devout they pray probably on the level of the Haseedems, and they don't all look radical. They also don't have A-D- D, when the Imam speaks there is silence, may be cause there scared but its quiet the only words i understood were Jihad, Al Aksa, Yahood, Tahrir and a couple here in there. It sucks that I will be missing the "worlds greatest outdoor party" tonight but at least I'll get free WiFi. Looking forward to arguing with my Hotel tommorow about not being able to check out on Shabbat, they insist i leave at 400. It's supposed to rain in Tel Aviv, Coincidence or some one has been praying for it to rain there?...........

B'Ezrat Hashem

I will be there in two minutes. Hashem got him there in twenty, that was my ride for hire to Tel Aviv this morning. My ingenious plan was instead of paying a cab I would pay a relative to drive me. He only showed up forty minutes late, but he helped me make another one of those special mitzvot my father hooks me up with ( picking up something way out of my way ...... Tel Aviv is another World, I walked into a Thailand massage place that read "Massage and more" to find out what the more was- they told me not to be "a Stupid" I didn't get one......I was happy to see a small but spirited protest by Turkish embassy. I met up with my friend K. Who brought one of her friends whom there was mutual disinterest, and the night was a bust "they were all tired "- they didn't Have the best opinion on the Israelis.Her friend from last time who was prettier and for some sort of confusion we never kept in touch she said she told me she was interested, but I didn't remember it that way - but we may reconnect. The best thing I can say about my hotel in TA it has free WiFi- reminded me when I asked a coach about a certain player's  skills all he kept saying that  the kid is Rich very rich.....

No Matter,

How much I want to have Scrambled Eggs for breakfast, i cant do it , remindes too much of my Friend EE, and "Eggsgate" when i got him in trouble with his wife for eating to much scrambled eggs. It's amazing how g0d works....The Arabs in Jerusalem and With in Israel are not celebrating and going out into the streets like the Arabs of  the West bank, It has been quiet in both the Damsacus and Jaffa gate. Business as usual, you wouldn't even know something was going on, According to a couple of people i asked, they said it was Crap, a lot of them are scared if the PA would ever take over....... To Divide Jerusalem Impossible....... I went to Ammunation Hill, saw the amazing the story and remembrance to those who liberated Jerusalem. It's a great place for Kids to go to also, as they can walk through all the Bunkers and learn the History...... I was ready to go Home yesterday, but will stick it out till my flight Saturday night. Tommorow night i am supposed to meet a girl, i cheated and saw her FB, and  I was ready to go home Yesterday.... The People that asked me to pray for them, I checked in with them, it's not working yet........

It Bothers,

me, but just a little though that i am usually one of the first people that are on the lines to get on the Bus, and usually one of the last to get on, Seems like I just get pushed aside by Everyone and wind up last .... I did make it on the Bus though to Hebron, I am not a very religious person, but there is a special feeling being there. You can also feel that the security has been beefed up in the Kiryat Arba area....While waiting for the Bus to go back i was sitting and talking to one of the Arabs, in my very broken Arabic, his very broken English, but thanks to Hebrew we communicated well, Natrually politcs came up, but not heavy and turns out he was a big Abu- Ammar (arafat) guy - he didn't mind about his terror oopps freedom fighter nature, but when  i told him i heard he was gay, he got very upset, i changed my phrasing saying that's what the Israelis said, and of course the Mossad poisoned him......... breaking news Israustrialin Girl emailed me right after the last post, just a basic cordial email, so we maybe in touch after all

"Whats going on "

   PH texted me. I am  Back to 0.0  PHG is pretty much done with as we haven't emailed in a few days, i will email her on her Birthday though. Austrisralian Girl is a wash as she hasnt responded to my last text,which left her my email and FB info. The religious girl from Monsey, is the religous girl from Monsey , ohh wait a friend of mine in Israel wants me to meet up with one of her friends, I did not even ask what she looked and just said great sure why not a thirty four year old working in some sort of Investments.......I traveled down South yesterday, to the Erez Crossing - on the border to Gaza, As we were driving I asked what if there was a Code Red Alarm- His answer in a nut shell "Were F%u&ed ". We passed By Nitzan the new area that was supposed to be ready for those expelled from Gush Katif, disgraceful how there still in caravans, then Hung out in Sderot, it's pretty disgusting that people piss inside the street Rocket protective shelters. People in Israel seem to be completly oblivious to News outside, It's life as usual, reading the newspapers one would think the country's ready for war, but being here and also in an Aarab area, it's all quiet for now and the hope is that it stays that way......

The World's

Greatest outdoor party, continues to get Better. Kabbalat Shabbat at the Kotel  just awesome ,anyone who hasn't experienced this is truly missing out.The Highlight was a unit of  about 60 soldiers being led by a Big Israeli Flag, dancing,singing, praying In the True spirit of Am Ysrael chai .........On Friday morning I visted  Sheik Jarra or Shimon Hatzadik, to see all the fuss they show about the anarchist left wing protests aganist Jews living there, but it was quiet. At least i got to check out the tomb and Holy site there. With all the Arab hype of statehood, Shabbat was the first day I felt a little tension walking though the Damascus gate,some shouting and hollering, but there is a larger presence of the border patrol, police, and military....Sue who?  at my hotel they were washing the steps, but failed to warn anyone with that stupid yellow sign that says "Wet Floor", of course i slipped on my A$$ but didn't get hurt, I didn't bother saying anything to the front desk, they wouldn't care.........

Cursed be the one............

 And the whole nation answers AMEN.. For the second straight year I got the same Aliyah, with all the curses in it. I think i am pretty safe though cause the "Rabbi" (makes very upset to write this) at the kotel who was there kept blessing me, a typical snake oil salesman Rabbi, Except with foul body odor and morbid breath . I wanted to give his cause a check and was grateful i could, but when he came to the Hotel he practically held me Hostage for more Money,which i did  it made me hate giving him the tzdekah.which in turn makes me hate myself.  I told him to please not pray for me...... Then it hit me that everyone I am supposed to see in Israel, I have to get to them and accomadate them and not only that bring stuff for them, which i foolishly volunteered to,I have obligations for tommorow as i am going South and then back to Tel Aviv, After that The Policy of  Isolation kicks in. The New Word is IGNORE. I will not be taken advantage..... 

Breakfast.....

 What is the first thing my father asked me about Israel.?  Then the variations of what did they have etc. Then what the hell did you do? The Answer for today was Went to the Kotel, Via the Damascus gate  I stuck out like a sore thumb  Walking through "Nablus road". I felt bad for a little Arab Kid, who started crying after an older Arab Kid just kicked the crap out of him, I didn't help. After the Kotel, to Mount of Olives to pay Respects to Menachem Begin. Natrually i got lost there and was "tour guided " by a local Aarab who took me to the Graves of  the Three prophets and fifty disciples ( hagai, zazcarai and melachi) It was in a small pitch black cave, We had candles but couldn't see I didn't go in too far,in case he would try to Kill me or something, He ripped me off but I didn't mind it so much. The Gilad Shalit tent took off the Ron Arad Pictures and also the prayers inside, I was surprised but didn't ask why. I am hating the fact that the cab drivers are ripping me off, but then again im not exactly in the best neighborhood.........

Greetings from,

The Eternal and indivisable capital of the Jewish People. For the Third time in this blog I am reporting from Jerusalem. I got Stuck sitting next to the Kareem Abdul jabbar of the Haradey Community, When an Angel walked up to him and offered to switch his seat for the low price of $59, He refused and I jumped on the deal, but the seat was in between 2 people who were fatter than I was, so I Sent the Hareedy, to the seat and for $59 got an open seat next to me,  felt like I robbed  ElAl. As a Bonus I  was sitting next to a pretty attractive girl and we spoke a little bit, she was too young.... Here is why I am sick of the Haready Business- on the "Sheroot" or communal cab to Jerusalem I had to move my Seat so a Haradey wouldnt sit next to a Haradey woman, Kus Uchtak is it to the point that a man can't sit next to a woman and not pop wood or grab her? Believe me when I write this No One would ever touch that woman, My reward sitting next to Ass breath who was gabbing on his phone. Mazal Tov to reader M. On the birth of A  Son- Wishing her lots of luck and great things.........

To Everything Turn,

and a time to every purpose Under heaven. My thinking completely disregards the Book of Ecclesiastics- as there is really no purpose, or reason for making this spontaneous trip to Israel. No New girls to meet up with No Memorials, No Occasions Nothing. I am  staying with the Arabs at in E. Jerusalem, After all I am a Typical Israeli. but I have stayed there before and lived to write about it. In comparison it's like tourists visiting NYC and staying in Harlem, but it's still  NYC. There will no Doubt be Tension, Thanks to the Mess the Liberal American Jews got the State of Israel into regarding the Palestinian Issue. I probably Over packed but my "Jacob and Essa Policy"* of packing is voided cause i thought i would only need one Valise. I also took photos of my Valises, That way there will be no mistakes. Not a lot of prayer requests this time I think people understand that mine do NOT work. The Most important think i packed are my wipes not to come off sounding like the Spies who spoke bad about the land ,  But the Toilet Paper in Holy Land is not very Soft........Thanks to DM for helping out the Big Jelly Co. with the mail and Deposits while I am away.......

*policy of splitting up half my clothes in each suitcase in case one gets lost

The Prayers,

have Begun as stated previously in the blog there is Three things i Ask G0d for when I fly to Israel. I'd like to think i am not greedy but generally G0d answers one out of three prayers. The first is not to sit next to someone stinky, the Second is a hot girl( it's been established though that no pretty girls fly El Al so that's pushing it ) and the third to get there safe, at the end of the prayers i throw in  an extra one that he doesn't make go #2. I have been a pretty bad Jew lately so I hope the better Jews on the plane override the bad Jews and make us get there safely...... I met up with Ausrisaelan girl last night, in what seemed like what was supposed to be a "get it out of the way night".  We met up in Union Sq again,and surprisingly had a real nice time. Politics again dominated the conversation again .She Sent me a courteous text, and should things  not fade we probably will be going out again when i get back and then she gets back......

Where were you,

on Sept 11 2001?.  I was working in the showroom at 1407 Broadway Room 521. When the Salesman working with us told me a plane hit the WTC, Not thinking any thing of it i continued my work, thinking it was a small plane accident. An Ex of mine was working in the Same building, was freaked out  (she  actually saw the building come down from her 18th floor window)- We left the building and headed further uptown to a friends apt. A couple of Hours later We started walking back downtown towards the site, We couldn't get very close and were redirected by police towards the Brooklyn Bridge it was a little eerie to see debris covering cars and random papers all over, They gave us Masks for the Dust and we crossed the Brooklyn  bridge,I talked her out of going to Juniors for cheesecake, We took the train home from Dekalb Ave,The MTA let everyone go for free. Here is a great article  on Why Mayor Giuliani Rejected a 10 Million dollar Saudi Donation http://articles.cnn.com/2001-10-11/us/rec.giuliani.prince_1_saudi-prince-alwaleed-bin-israeli-withdrawal-criminal-attack?_s=PM:US.

Pre- Runs,

 are very uncomfortable to get, especially when you're out with a girl. I was out With PH girl again having s Dinner on the UWS. From the Second I took a bite out of my food, I knew i was in trouble, Starving I continued Eating and hoped it would go away. She Said she was Happily Full and I was Unhappily Full. She understood and suggested i  go to Starbucks. Never no way, the good thing about my situation was I didn't have gas. but was starting to sweat a little, Traffic was crazy on the way home, but with gratitude to g0d i made it. We didn't get a chance to have our major talk, but agreed to the status quo  of the  new 3 Nos No pressure, no commitment, no But Whys- Could be delaying the inevitable, but who knows.......... I am not very comfortable with my parents Traveling to Las Vegas on Sept 11, I flew on Tisha be Av once but that was to Israel. A friend of mine with connections in Vegas has hooked them up with some amenities the main one being the "Line Pass"- meaning they can cut all lines, for my father it doesn't get any better than this.......

Chicken?

I Sent a Text  rather than call Austrisrselian girl "hey hope everythings going great would love to meet up again if you'd like to thanks" fully expecting not to get a reply. Around  2 hours later A beep  "sure let's me for a drink over the weekend".  Clearly it is the Wuss way of asking out someone, as i have done it before, but It is done in situations that you don't think there is much of a chance of anything happening, granted this was a follow up date, and not the first Date like I did when I asked out PH girl by text........After 143 days I finally decided to get a Hair cut-I think I can hide my receding Hair much more better when My hair is shorter than when it was longer, The Shampoo girl was great, She gave me a good head massage, NOTHING more........My father leaves me Selichot Messages every Morning, but I still haven't made it to Shul in the morning......

Comfort is when,

You can make Doody in someones Else's house, with out worrying about the consequences.......I got to make another one of those Mitzvah I enjoy So much doing, Helping My parents unload, if I can only put a picture of how my father packed the car  the word  ISRAELI would give a clear picture. Me and my mother used a different word to describe him after half the stuff fell out. To his credit he DID fit everything in the car.... PH called me to find out the status of the situation with her girl- "We are seeing each other, but other people "- eventually I'm guessing were going to Iron out the situation as to a status I think probably Thursday. She asked cause a previous Girl that she set me up with was Interested but a "miscommunication"  led me to believe she wasn't, I didn't press....Munster Strikes again, But I think I am going to pass on his suggestion this time, i know he means well...........I am having a blast filling out the names for the Chai Lifeline split the pot tickets. Some names i used  Cam Ishli., Phil A.Sheeio. Harry Dee, Hill O'niey, and Kofi Annan.....

Welcoming

Back, all those returning, It was to much  always finding easy parking, not having to navigate the streets through double Parker's, and not being cut on lines amongst other things..... I met up with a girl I have been speaking to online for a while, She happened to look like her photos and was  very cute. Her accent didn't match her body she is of Middle eastern Decent but spoke with an Australian accent, She did live there for a short while. We met up in Union Square area. She explained to me about the Social protesters in Israel, Which covered a broad area of our conversations, and mentioned something very true about Israelis which i liked a lot -about them being rude on the surface( not saying excuse me or pushy) But in the thick of things that if something needs to be done they will always be there kind of like the opposite of the Liberal American Jews. I walked her almost Home, i felt she felt in case i was a creep she didn't want me to know where she lived I was cool with it.... I'll Text her again, but Church is Unlikely..........I don't like the song But Wake me Up When September Ends......

"Our greatest hopes and our worst fears

 
      are seldom realized." Our worst fears have been realized tonight. They’ve now said that there were eleven hostages. Two were killed in their rooms yesterday morning, nine were killed at the airport tonight. They’re all gone - the words of The Legendary Jim McKay Describing the Murder of the 11 Israeli Athletes in Munich. Israeli "Peace partner" Mahmood Abbas Provided the Funds for the Operation But claims he did not know what it was for  UHUHU.........The Resulting Tension between Israel and Turkey, would no doubt affect my friendships and relationships with my  8 Turkish  FB Friends. The Friending/ Defriending policy is still in effect though. I am Proud That the Israelis finally Stood up to the Islamic republic of Turkey, Who have been Trying to Humiliate and Bully The Jewish state into an apology, compensation and lifting of  the Blockade on Gaza. That Ghadaffy Human Rights award is looking real good on the Resume of Tayeep Erdogan...... Imagine Syria's Bashar Assad with Nuclear Weapons, Nope thanks to the Spectacular Israeli operation orchard- That Destroyed the Syrian Nuclear Reactor or was it the Arab Center for Dry lands or some crap like that, and OH to our Turkish Friend Tayeep who was sleeping with his pajamas in the middle of the night it was Israeli  fuel tanks  that they dropped over Turkey..............
* munich massacre 09-05-72
** Operation Orchard 09-06-07

Improving Socially,

 for 34:37.6,  I was happy to attend  the wedding of one of the all time good kids Jd, i wasn't to happy to be back in  the Syrian  holy city. If I were ever to be a Syrian I wouldn't make a very good one as i don't dream and aspire of the Holy city. The Wedding was at a private home, but looked like a country club,I had to go to the bathroom, but didn't feel right going inside.  The Paul McCartney of the Harediy community  Yaacov Shwecky Sang and my wing man Munster was going to Cry- I should of let it go, but told him  " get it together Fa%^3et".... I updated The Mystery woman who tried to set me with "Annette"  and informed her that things will not work out,she didn't understand why- i offered to send her the transcript of the conversation- but settled for the explanation that were from two different planets.......Seldom do i get annoyed it happened twice yesterday. The first at the warehouse i work at, people come to "buy " stuff from me and if it's cheap i wont charge them anything, I just expect to be asked "How Much"? Then  I'll say "don't worry about it". At  a Td Bank line a customer apparently doing  a Million dollar transaction, refused to pack up his papers, phone, books etc.. of the line, of course he was a pacifist self righteous liberal, I generally don't interfere but asked if he can pack up his stuff on the side, the response  "Ill be done in a minute".......Condolences to DM and the M family on the passing of Universal  Uncle - "Uncle Rocky"......