Thursday, May 31, 2012

Women are like,

parking spots extremely difficult finding one, and when you do a better spot opens up - K.H......"hey do You know Rxxxxx" very well Respectfully Decline nothing more would i like to travel 120 miles out of my way to take out and Entertain a girl- whom ill hear how tired and Busy and she is. in all fairness i doubt she would want to tell me that also......Suckered by Two emails, and a flirt i resigned up Yup yet again for Jdate. One is a 41 year old "willing to convert" girl whom intrigued me with her email about her trip to Israel and the Israeli- Syrian Border. The Other was a very cute 38 Year old from Queens, she said " you seem  interesting. let me know if you'd like to talk or meat"......How Late is Late? turned out that both IL girl and I decided that it late ( after 1000) was to late to meet up- reading the transcripts of the Texts- We both wanted to cancel but wanted the other to - i was the bad guy, we should be getting together around Sukkos time........


Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Is Hank Aaron,

The HR Champ or is it Barry Bonds with an Asterisk. The Term Great guy* for me generally Denotes the asterisk .Patronage is the worst form of Flattery. I hate,Loathe, despise when I am referred to that like that. Some people are born great,some achieve greatness and others have greatness thrust upon them ,and not unless we all are great, than that term should not be used. other terms I don't use are Holocaust I use the word Shoah, that term regrettably has been cheapened and overused in situations that pale In comparison to the Shoah.....According to GM, when one sneezes, only one G0d Bless you is sufficient no matter how many times you sneeze, the law was also backed By etiquette specialist NR......The frivolous lawsuit brought on by the buxom breasted young lady,against a haredy lingerie company  should no doubt be thrown out, but for the record Boobs can never ever be to big........

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Sitting on a Park Bench,



    On Queens Blvd Waiting for over 27 minutes for IL girl , IL canceled on me a couple months ago due to the fact that she was sick, We remained fb friends non the less. She Smelled really nice and was a lot prettier than i expected.  For the record This doesn't violate the dating Tehaydeeya, As this was technically Scheduled 2 months ago. Took a few minutes to get rid of the formalities, but after that except for my plate looking like a war zone and dropping the Chocolate bananas of my crepe on my pants Things ran smooth, There are a couple of Buts, But  their will be church On Sunday......... DS one of the all time good guys suggested he may have someone for me He Refereed to her As the "Sunshine"-That's the term Menachem Begin described What Peace is. I Remembered her name and that she was NOT receptive to me, he Said he'll still ask.......The Fish Experiment will End tomorrow, I know I mentioned it before and it sucks that i can post some pictures but some of these girls are so angry their  profiles are Insanely Funny.........Caspar Weinberger The Former Defense Secretary when running for AG of California " The Jews Didn't vote for me cause they Knew I wasn't Jewish and The Gentiles didn't vote for me cause they thought I was".......

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The countdown to the

 Pentecost is here and with that goes that annual Story of the tablets. When G0d decided to hand out the 10 commandments he approached every other Nation before the Jews, one by one they turned Him down saying they can Abide by either the though shall not kill, or though shall not Steal etc..When he approached the Jews, they asked G0d is it Free, he of course replied yes, so they requested Two and hence the story of the Torah and Tablets..... R Meir Kahana Added an 11th commandment for the Jews Though shall melt.......Here is an Article of A Turkish Writer, Who will probably be Jailed soon  about the Israeli conspiracy http://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/the-worlds-silliest-spy-network-.aspx?pageID=449&nID=21363&NewsCatID=398. A worth read..........

The power of prayer


      A While ago, A certain individual Prayed for bad stuff to happen to me, The reason , i shared some information about him to his family, about someone cooking Supper for him . He Drew A circle, stood in it and waited for the bad things  to happen for me- and Wallah They did, a Gash opened up by my right eye, A customer Stiffed me out of a Substantial amount of Money and two girls did not return my calls. I repented and the Sudden stroke of bad luck ceased... On the verge of Finally reaching the promised land, and securing that elusive Title that betrayed him for many years Coach  was unceremoniously UnHired by the MD School. No Specific Reasoning was given and Just like that his tenure at the school was over Vowing to get Revenge coach  turned to a higher authority He Drew his circle Stood in it and prayed that all the perpetrators that were behind his Firing would get there day and be punished for their actions. At the Same time  Half way across the world  The Israeli Govt was getting ready to implement their criminal plan of evacuating the Settlements of the Gaza Beltway community under the ruse of Security. The Center left Govt and its cronies began The largest Israeli Military personal operation Since the 1973 Yom Kippur War. Fifty Five Thousand  Brave men and women to evacuate 8500+ Jews. Coach Extended his Circle and decided to channel his prayers that all those who had a part in the Gross miscarriage of justice of Both his termination and Expulsion will incur The "Mini Wrath of G0d ", not to be confused with operation Wrath of G0d of course that being Secret hit squad of the Israeli Mossad after The Munich Massacre.  The Operation ran parallel to the the firing and Expulsion The first victims were  principle Dr TunaCod Fell Ill and was forced to step down  at same time the Architect  of the Expulsion Ariel Sharon suffered a massive Stroke of which left him in a vegetative state. As time Passed others were slowly feeling the Effects of the Curse The New principle who was a deputy Rabbi Blackgreen was fired in disgrace, as was the head coach  Coach MacDinkins, While this was going on the Defense minister, The Chief of Staff, and the Rabbi of the IDF as well as several others were forced to leave their posts in disgrace. The Domino effect was felt and most recently The Head Rabbi Hacham Shamai and the number one Posheya or Thug in Israel Ehud Olmert has gone down and hopefully out for the count. Justice Finally Served..........



Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Song of Songs,

if read for 40 Nights in a row, and upon completion you are to be Blessed. Women's specialist EE was adamant and insisted that I read it . Dismissing him as a Kook,a charlatan and Nutty, I told him to Take a hike. That same  night will walking to Rena and Shemuel's house, low and Behold I find a small Pamphlet of  the SOS, i picked it up Dusted it off and saw it as a sign from above. I Began Reading it diligently every night for the next 40 nights. Literally The next day i get a call do you want to go out with a  SOSO girl. " Is she Hot"? yup I'm In - I went out with SOS girls a few times and was thinking EE maybe on to something, I even Saw a Horrible emasculating Movie to impress her- (NEVER AGAIN for the record) , Little did I know She gave me the Suggestion of  " Can we just be friends?", and 2 years later were Still friends. The Morale of the Story is...........

Sometimes i feel


  bad , when i see people buying vitamins- the rule of course being It won't necessarily help, but wont hurt either........ Three Days into the Fish Experiment and here are some of my options a couple of 40 something Divorced women with kids One in CT  one in NJ, whom have suggested I take them out , Some Spanish girls that are So-So that i just politely replied to their Emails, and a few that i have avoided, hard to believe ME avoiding girls......A  while ago i was supposed to meet up with a girl i was speaking to, She also got "Sick" at the time we were supposed to go out, i haven't heard from since, till Today "What are you up to tonight " ? See you at 9:30 the odds makers installed me at 11-1..... Friends asked me to hang out Sat night, instead of just saying I'm tired,or not in the mood go out , i lied at said i was babysitting for my nephews, took less than 24 hours for the lie to catch up with me. The Next night my Sister in law called me and asked if I can Babysit........

Friday, May 18, 2012

Fishing again?


        The Dating  Tahyeeda  or quiet period is into it's second week. With confidence and Morale low I decided to retry Plentyoffish,com. With only 2 Photos and  no profile, here are the Stats in Under 24 Hours   111 profile views, 25 would like to meet you's  and three Emails. One would think I am Doing Great, But judging but what most of these girls look like, well never Mind. I have yet to email anyone yet......To Set the Record Straight, I am not a fan of American Idol, although it was clicked Liked in my FB Profile, and a question was answered, This is not Wienergate, where i am claiming someone hijacked my account but   someone is trying to win Tickets to the finals and is not a member of the FB community and clicked the "like" feature.....There is an anti- Internet Rally at Citi Field in Queens, NY this Sunday anyone wishing to attend, Ticket costs are $10, i don't know where and over 40,000 haredeem will be There to protest Internet Porn- No Women are allowed............

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Friends dont let


  Friends Drive drunk. Yes Sometimes the Truth Hurts but it's always necessary. I was Explaining to a girl I know, That I hated Patronage, and she shouldn't feel compelled to tell me things that may sound good to me but aren't necessarily  true. Vertis Venche The Truth Triumph- further more When I see Bad basketball players that think there good, it is not only my duty, But Obligation to tell  Don't drive Drunk...... 38 years to the Ma'alot Massacre, there was a really good documentary made about this last year......I am always besieged by Guilt, A girl running on the treadmill next to me kept waving her arms as if shes blowing away the air, I know I didn't do anything and was pretty sure i didn't smell. non the less I ended my run early cause in my mind a Smell was created, she was pretty cute also......

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mothers Day,

to the Mothers of the world and tomorrow Happy MotherF%#ckers day to all the MotherF%$*#ers of the world. I Lied to my mom and told her I made a donation in her Honor to the Shul Sebbet, the Donation I made But it wasn't in her Honor i did get her a gift card at the end....... I got conflicting advice from Two Different Personalities Both Extraordinarily Wealthy - One says  there is a saying in Hebrew "Found a Wife he found good Didn't find a wife he found even better"- The other Insisted that I put full court press on a girl I have been friendly with, Just based on the fact that he saw us at a place together- "Propose by June. Get Married in July, and he'll throw one of the party's", The first advice sounded a little more sane.....All these years I never realized I had sticky Ears That my earloves connect to my head- another thing to be insecure about....... My Operation Focus,  not to be confused with the Israeli one of 67 kicks in starting tomorrow, Focus on being successful rather than none sense How hard can it be ?........

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Did I Ever Tell you,

   the story about how I bailed out a Girl from a Northern Israel Jail - ? It's been 17 Months Since I mentioned this (12-13-10) But on one of my many trips to the Holy Land, From online I was in contact with a pretty hot girl from the Northern part of the country Haifa. We decided that when i got there We would meet up, Again "Whats the Worst that can Happen". usually when I think that the worst does happen She picked me up from the Train Station in Haifa,unbeknowest to me there was an Aarab Side and Jewish Side, of course I ended up on the Aarab. The Good News is She looked like her photos and was hot, The bad news is Her Car kept Stalling and her 6 or 7 year kid was Screaming in the back, We Went to pick her Mother from her Job, Whom was recovering from Cancer and off to a Slumy Neighborhood in Haifa. She lived in an area where Katyaushas were raining on them from the Lebanon war of 2006 and you can still see the damage. I sat in her parents living room for a couple of hours talking to them about the War. Here I am thinking I'm gonna get Some, and wind up getting a lot more than I ever wanted, just not what I wanted. Her history was sad and grim and she owed creditors a lot of Money, Due to her Ex Husband Degenerative gambling habits, She didn't ask for anything     yet..... A couple days later, She calls me frantically crying Shes in the Big House "What happened"? She needs to come up with xxxx amount of money, There holding her with the Hookers and Drug dealers. I made a joke  about Hookers,  Please can I help her. Never having performed the Mitzvah of Pidyon Shevuim or redeeming the captive and of course not being able to say NO, I was fortunate enough to make this Mitzvah even though i was a total Sucker.............

Friday, May 11, 2012

Whats the Big Deal?


      A Short Recap of my revolution number NiNe Times of Excursions to the Syrian Holy city. The Numbers - $277 in tolls, $206 in gas, Over 1118 driving miles, 168 minutes of waiting time, One case of Arthritis  from the hard to cut chicken, One case of Bad heartburn from a Veggie Burger, 3 New Face book friends, one moderate case of the runs ( but that was my fault i shouldn't have eaten the ice cream) and $684 .37 in Dinner costs. Optimistically Speaking it's as if I Smoked 366 Cigarettes, Times that By 3 minutes of waste of life Totaling 18 and a half Hours of wasted life Not bad at all............... Shimon Peres "We need more Solutions not  resolutions" I don't need to wish him a speedy recovery some how he always manages to get better..............A Reader submits look a like  Palestinian legislature Hanan Ashrawi  that I can't believe Peter Jennings or anyone Used to Bone and Sportscaster Howard Cosell
  

 

Thursday, May 10, 2012

"Wait here,

I'll get the car".. The Eerie feeling of walking to my car in the hard rain, reminded me of the "Towgate" incident, almost identical Scenario sans the location, first date, similar personality, A new Sweater, Deal girl was prettier.  On the short Ride I shared the story with her, and concluded that i was a Scumbag for not going into the cab with the other that time, she laughed at the situation, but clearly was ready to go home. Getting to the Holy city early, i managed to kill sometime playing Akinator and watching documentaries, i got lost to her House as their was no sign Indicating where W. PARK Ave is, I probably shouldn't of said to her "thank g0d i wont be back here again to figure it out"- Subconsciously I guess i knew i wouldn't be coming for date #2 but it was more of a Freudian slip, and plus i don't think she paid attention. Greeted by her two dogs and mother, we went through the introduction, she was attractive and Upbeat  and off for Italian  food  in a place they call pier village. We had lots to say and both agreed that it's always interesting meeting new people, regardless weather things work out or not  i mumbled something under my breath Except. I sounded like I was working for the Israeli Tourism ministry recommending she visit there. We Spoke Set-ups and i assured her that She will never, ever be set up with someone who is not "NICE". As i dropped at the door, We Exchanged get home Safes- and there will not be church on Sunday........ just as teams get eliminated from the playoffs and will be off till next season I will be doing the Same.........

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

"Expect the

 unexpected, i confirmed with new girl in the Holy city, she sounds great, different this time, but as always i am prepared for anything and everything.Win, Lose, or draw their will be a dating taheydea or quiet period, to make some adjustments and improvements......As of Aug, i will be moving  back Up North to the isle of Manhattan, My Apartment will be vacated and I can not afford to pay both Mortgage and Rent, this wont make the blog more interesting..........."Don't call me, ill call you"- well not in those exact words but this is how things are going with RE- the Impossible dream is Still that. RE showed me an apt in Brooklyn, i had a different agenda to be honest, But turns out it was the Apartment of someone i sort of new-  My friends and her friends  Were Enemies- Which made us enemies once again by invoking the law of contra positive  -Everyone was loyal to their Side, with out getting Belligerent, i did get along with her and her husband........

Friday, May 4, 2012

The Holy City again?

       A nice conversation with the New Girl That Munster sister got me her number it went well over the allocated 14 minute time limit, and Guess where I'm headed to yet again Next week.....Egyptian Intel Chief Suleiman was meeting with the Israelis and Assured them that during the Riots of Feb 2011 Everything will be OK - Gen. Asheknazi asked him how can you be certain. In Egypt it doesn't matter who votes What matters is who counts the votes......Kent State 42 years later.... "what if you knew her and found her dead on the ground"? ..... 4 dead in Ohio - CSNY..........


Menachem Begin,

when arriving at Eretz Ysrael Refused to desert the Polish Army, until he got an honourable discharge. Whenever i commit to something and want to Renege, this story  always crosses my mind, so even though i can't say No- i always use the Maybe, I'll try, or the "eim Yirtze hashem" to get out of things..... SU suggested that instead of going out in the Holy city- how does the city sound and she'll stay in the city, First thought great I don't have to drive out there, "nope i wouldn't mind picking you up, and promise ill have enough room for you're luggage"- she mentioned a Sushi Place, i told her i was a regular there she didn't believe me - A small Text confrontation over what time  led her to Text to me "OMG just forget it "- We cleared the air and she said she'll be ready by Seven. I waited  Only 44 Minutes. She still seemed annoyed, although i felt I was the one who should be, But again if I show her that- then the terrorists win. Judging from the First 15 minutes - Neither of us wanted to be there- I even offered to just drop her off by her friends, as she had other events going on - We settled on dinner, and things got smoother. She follows the zodiac and our Signs were a disasetrous match, her friend met up with us a little later and they were both making fun of me cause i don't know how to go out- I did impress them with my Music knowledge as i was telling them who that the  obscure music that the DJ was playing was by Carols the Jackal and the Baader- Meinhoff gang had i used Arab terrorists names they probably would have caught on. Thank g0d for RE anytime the conversation stalled we went to her Seemed like we both enjoyed the subject - Despite the early tension and ambiguity it was a fun night - No Church in the Holy city......................

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Dating Amnesia,

is probably the best therapy for my failure to get RE, and dating Amnesia it is then. After Several Ingenious, Cunning, creative, and sometimes Dumb attempts to get to her,( ill spare the details)just like the 67 Red Sox The Impossible Dream is over . The New girl according to my contact was of sound body and mind, when she agreed to give me her number, ( fb can make or break it) Their are several Buts, but will give it a go......After thinking I would never hear from SU girl- she Texted me "Hey"- We had a nice conversation, in which basically I told her I thought She was allergic to me, in which she replied she doesn't play games and would tell me that if she wasn't back to the holy city Thursday that is for now........Munster Sister who got me the other girls Number, Said it's still OK to call the New Girl, I really hate double dipping especially with girls from the same town.......Judging by the way the girls that he's trying to set me up with look, I'm Not certain if my landlord likes me or hates me..........