Friday, August 2, 2019

And you never

    Ask Questions when G0d's on you're side.... At the Behest of my Hasadeem Neighbors they suggested, I call a Lawyer named " Scott" to handle my 71 in a 40, and fail to signal tickets on the FDR. Forking over $300 to "Scott", he got me a court date for May 7, 2020. This Past week  the office of "Scott" notified me that the BOTH tickets were Dismissed........ The  " UnSafe Lane Change" ticket, Required me to Travel to Hempstead. LI and sit in a crowded room, while waiting for a Court Prosecutor to call on me. After 16:31, The prosecutor reviewed my Ticket and  Offered "NO Points and a $250 Fine " " Can I counter Offer " Nope,  Despite proclaiming my innocence I took the deal, avoiding a trial. 22:11 later, Hearing room 2, the Judge read the verdict, and send me off to the cashier to Pay...The Stats 171 total minutes of " having nothing better to do"

Protect and

     Serve, Does not Mean you should Trump up False Charges against Law Abiding motorists. Twice this Past Month I was victimized by both the NYPD and the Nassau County PD. In Nassau for not having my Actual Insurance card, and " Unsafe Lane change" and in NYC for Speeding and failing to signal. Seems reasonable on the Flat foots end. However in the First instance, the FF knew that i was insured, and insisted on ticketing me, for that. The "Unsafe Lane Change" of which I signaled and the FF didn't see was because a car ahead of him " Stopped Short" and he had to stop short as well as to avoid hitting him.  For the Insurance ticket, Logic dictates you submit a copy of the card and it gets dismissed, However NC insists on having what is like tantamount to you're parents. Grandparents and other relatives submitting a note to a Teacher as to why you did Not do you're homework. In Short an Original letter only from the Home office of the company, on company letterhead.must be typed and signed, provide policy number, with every detail related to the car amongst other details etc. I do plan on fighting the " Unsafe lane" ticket and avoid perhaps Points, and the $288 fine with only G0d knows how many other fees attached to it..... As for the NYPD..............

Monday, June 24, 2019

If you See

                   Something, Do you Say Something?. It was a Hot May Afternoon on a crowded uptown Q Train, where my eyes gazed on a Skittish,  thin, meek looking middle aged man wearing a Winter Jacket, Rubbing prayer beads and Reciting Prayer phrases Loud enough to raise concern. Nervously and with out wanting to Profile, I got off at the next stop and Switched carts.... An off color remark at a Junior High School Basketball finals has landed yours truly into some hot water. Working the live Feed at the Game, Irresponsibility but with out Malice, I made some unfortunate comments both about individuals, as well as institutions. The Blow back was Severe, and after listening to the replays, It Horrified me, the Hurt and Harm I caused The people. Rest Assured my Broadcasting career is over, However BigJelly TV would still be operating, with exciting and new content........ Stat of the Day 1:43.17 Seconds from Time in the Pump to the first click to Fill up my car when showing approx 40 miles to the fill up. That Means, I probably need a a lot of help, or I waste approx Sixty Noine Hours a year filling up Gasoline..........

Wednesday, April 10, 2019


  to DM and the YDE thunder on an improbable championship run. DM was the Jerome Moiso ( Rick Pitino's Diff maker) in all Three Victories, This is a classic " Noah was a Righteous Man " Scenario.......Israel is Blessed with four Seasons Spring, Summer, War and Helections. In the Much Hyped Heavy Weight Match-up the results came back with a Disappointing Draw. The Torah Sages Campaign promises of " Olam Habaa" or a portion in the world to come, Brought out Thousands of Voters that have ensured that King BiBi will continue to reign over the Kingdom of Judea........ Is a Yarmulke something Holy? Anytime A Yarmulke is on the floor I make a concerted effort to pick it up, It's still unclear Why?........... "Anybody Here seen my Old Friend Martin"? (04-04-68)........ For how long is it permissible to park in a business lot, With out violating G0ds Laws? TD Bank parking lot is always full, full of patrons running errands elsewhere. Does that constitute Theft or is it Similar to just helping yourself to some nuts from Store Displays?.......Special. Events to  look forward to in the next couple of weeks  Persian Parade, May Day, and the Weed parade

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Thank G#)D .....


       Over the Weekend, Our USPS driver, Delivers Boxes to the close by Storage and shipping Facility. Seems like a win-win situation for everyone, he gets to unload freight and I can get the boxes quicker, That is until a Pipe burst at the Storage Place and Lucky for me I had Two large boxes on the Front line of the Water Rush. Leaving the Place I Thanked  my Creator, Lord and Savior that I didn't receive more Boxes on that Fateful day. I thanked the Storage manager for his help, and as I was leaving he called out " Laniado, Wait you have more Boxes". And Sure enough I got 4 more boxes and how fortunate was I that they were all on the front lines,  perhaps they weren't killed, but really looked like they went through Hell. Not to Sound like an apostate, or a heretic, I wanted to renege on my Thanks to G#)D, I thanked him for preventing it from being worse, and it turned out worse than worse... I know I know...........When one parks on the Street and does Not Put Coins in the Meter is it Stealing?........ WHAT IS  "WHATS DOING"?  The Most popular Greetings utilized by Syrian women......

Monday, February 11, 2019

Should We

                have been grateful to having  felt -10 Degrees in NYC while residents of the Midwest were Feeling -50.  Does that put things into Perspective? Comparing the Weather to Life, That even though we don't exactly have it good, We should be grateful for what we got ?.......... Stat of  the day It Takes One Minute Twenty four. Six Noine Seconds to ride up the Escalator at the 86th Street Subway Station......For the past couple weeks I've been attending the Chabad Synagogue on Shabbat. The Torah Reading is like the NFL Draft, After Each reading Portion the Rabbi gives a speech about the reading, for the first Three Portions, The sermon is roughly 10+ minutes and around 5 minutes after till the 7th Round. It takes over an hour, and the message is usually the same.....The draw to the Minyan is that former Stern Show Whack Packer Ellegant Elliot Offen.  Having Previous Run ins with  "Eleganta", I wished him a Good Shabbos, and was Shocked that he remembered it was me who was Screaming out to him while he was runs on the Upper East Side. Raucously, He berated me for " having marbles in my mouth" and that I should not Harass him while he's running in G STRING LINGERIE RIGHT, The Poor Rabbi got into between fearing a confrontation  He accepted my Apology, and perhaps an Invite for a Sabbath Dinner......

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

On The Coldest

    Day of the Year, would you jump out of your car to chase loose Bills Blowing in the Below Zero Winds?  Unclear where the bills were coming i gathered  $22 ( 1 ten 2 fives 2 ones) , with out a clue of whom they belong, I asked the inebriated Russian guy if it belonged to him, as he was too busy chasing the rest of the Money. The local Stores seemed puzzled by my question, I wanted to leave a note with my number, but that seemed odd, and really unfair to the poor sap whose number I would have left ......Once again BJ T.V. erred going to the wrong women's March in NYC. Too much Estrogen, or perhaps Anti- Semitism lead to a split in the movement, We were by Columbus circle, the real action was by Foley Square..... A Commercial van  Hit me in the back at a low speed on the corner of McDonald ave and Ave P, Feeling the Jolt,  I went outside to survey any Potential Damage, The Perpetrator threw up his hands Gesturing " What " with out even offering a simple apology. Fortunately he understood the foreign language profanity i hurled his way..........