The Haftorah

** reprinted from Last year *** 

    of the Week "Machar Ha Chodesh " always reminds me of the great NBC Sports anchor Bruce Beck  who was so eager  to cover The Story of Israels windsurfer  Gal Friedman winning the Gold medal in Athens in 2004, resorted to Recite his Hafor ah  for Israeli Authorities to allow him in to the interview, it  was the only thing he remembered from His Judaism upbringing Machar Ha chodesh......... The  helections at The Islamic republic of Turkiye promise to be as heated as ever. I fear the future of Turkey will be as of Egypt It won't matter who votes, What will matter is who counts the votes........ 33 Years ago "As of now, I am in control here.. pending the return of the VP".. A quote that would come to haunt Sect of State Alexander Haig after the assassination attempt  on Ronald Reagan's life........ As of Now I have totally lost control of here of Tinder. It's funny when I match with Non Jewish girls, When they confirm That I am the conversation becomes ephemeral. Their is way too much going on for now.......The Sephlink called " So So would go out with you " Thanks for the great opportunity, it's funny Most Syrian girls Iv'e gone out with have been Especially Hungry.......

Oklahoma OK

  After Some confusion Me and SG( Sooner Girl) worked out to meet at a Chelsea Hotel Bar. Early as Usual I text her I'll be waiting up front after a while of no Replies, I walked up to a girl that Resembled her, but nope. She was Inside and lived up to any looks wise expectations. Pretty, Wholesome, attentive, friendly had it all Until...... the Non Negotiable She Must be with someone of her Christian faith, Taken back, "maybe i should have worn my Yarmulke" -Maybe it was my name or nose that didn't give it away. The Conversation continued further and she was impressed that I knew the words to Amazing Grace and to play it on Piano.  She was apologetic and  Faith dominated the rest of the night, I did manage to crowbar my former Sooner Coach Billy Tubbs Story. Lamenting the fact that she was really pretty we parted ways, never to be seen or heard from again..........Next.............

Matzo Practice

 has begun early,  due to the fact that I will be overseas for this Passover Season. The Goal is to be Stomach ready and  accustomed to Matzo, The last thing Needed  is an international #2 incident.........Congratulating my former team; Team Mooch on their monstrous semi-final win, I will be rooting at home for them in the finals......It's getting increasingly more and more difficult and tedious to conduct  17 meaningful conversations at the same time, entailing the Same Where are you from's? what do you do's? and what are you looking for with all 338 matches from Tinder. I've been coming up with good contact, and fraudulent typos but  getting  back those " one word" answers saps the Spirit........ On Deck a pretty Oklahoman will call Sooner Girl, Should be set for Tomorrow Night Midtown..............

Their will be NO MoMunA

    On Sunday, However the Moon will be rising as early spring blossoms are slowly budding. In March Madness spirit  The MG ( Moroccan girl) story is a One and done, I can't say I 'm not going to miss those, even if i have to listen to how hilarious she and her friends are......After a roughly Six month Hiatus the Sephlink called, "Do you know SoSo, let me ask her if she's interested? Still waiting to see if she's interested...... A Haradie Business acquaintance forwards me a number " What's her story?" She's 27 Religious and Israeli. Skeptical of the Israeli naa just messing the age gap is a wide as strahan's teeth, but she's cute and she's supposedly seen my FB profile so What the hell..........The Tinder Revolution has taken my world by storm. After 10 some odd days 307 Matches( granted I'm matching with everyone)  A lot of match ignoress and ignoring. Their are a couple of Meetings on the horizon.....Look out......." I got the call today that I didn't want to Hear".............

The Lost Week

      Missing out on the Madison Square Garden Experience, Due to my Unexpected Flew like symptoms, Set me back only $500. My Brother filled in for me and I did take responsibility for Mooch and Mooch Well is Mooch........ Feeling lousy I chose to suck it up for My date with MG ( Moroccan girl) She was every bit as she was in text mode throw in Hungry and She was on Fire. She Had lots to say some interesting some not but she covered a lot. Insistent of me not walking her out, she took a spillage by her curb, I didn't realize Until i didn't see her walking to her door- " Maybe you can Sue" - Wasn't really funny, but "Sure let's do this again" The flew hasn't allowed me to call her back as of yet......Watching Tournament Madness Either Every Single team is really well coached or that has become the most disingenuous comment of the tournament.....

The Experts

      Estimate the Purim Megilah Reading to last somewhere's between 23-28 minutes, Coast to Coast from the First blessing to " Ve Ata kadosh" . Praying at the Sitt Shul 800, The Reader took 31:16.18 minutes, In his defense he had to stop twice for Phone's ringing and he was Shamie.......My First "Tinder" date Monday night. We "Matched" I messaged her and we've graduated to FB friendships and What'sApp. Turns out we know a lot of  similar people. She's cute, pretty, fun, flirty, interesting, Moroccan, and loves her boobs- and "Their is nothing wrong with that........

When In Doubt,

  Leave it out, Was the first Grammar lesson imposed on me as a young immigrant 32 some odd years ago. Perhaps I have been a little extreme with that advice regarding the posts.........Walking home Friday Night a haradie Approaches me and asks if u can raise his Thermostat. I mentioned that i would love to help him out, but I'm Jewish, He Knew the law that despite me not being very religious he's forbidden to ask a Jew to Transgress....... DM signed me up for  Tinder and it's very addicting. This may sound horrible but it's like the Selection   "Likes to the Right, Nope's to the left". Not realizing what's going on and sliding to the right, I've made 45 matches........ RIP  Israels greatest fighter Meir Har Tzion -" Not since the days of Bar Kochba, had the Jewish Nation seen a more braver and fierce Fighter" -  

Thou' Shall Not

 EVER pay a bill in full..... Is the 11th commandment that G0d passed on to the Syrian Nation. A Fait accompli or established fact that it's a sickness and their is nothing more to say about it. DM decided to raise $2500 from Ten or more people in order to rent out the Court at MSG for an Hour, Impulsively i agreed, Good luck to the Sucker who put it on his CC collecting............ Believe or not I'm walking on air Thanks to Mooch's advice on buying the new Adidas Energy shoes Worked out a lot better than Creed Cologne.........OG Send me a really nice Text that made me feel sadder about the way things ended, She made some fair points and I took her compliments to heart.........Tex ting Northern Israel Bail out girl She replies "G... If it's you I missed you so much, please call me" -  Could it sound more Spurious? Yup in a four and half minute conversation I got a bunch of Kapara's and other hebrewic words of endearment that would  make the founder of the modern Hebrew Language Eliezer Ben Yehudah turn over in his grave...Maybe will meet up....

Makes me

 a little happy that the Purim Holiday is on a Sunday this Year. Mishloach Manot, and Megilah = Traffic, and it's the Traffic is validated of course by the Big guy Upstairs. It's allowed to double stand or block Traffic as long as it's done for g0d; once again Ein Od Melvado..........Purim will not continue for me as me and OG have hit what apparently is a major road block, After what I thought it was really great date Wedsnight, Despite our poor Bowling performances ( I won both games but didn't cover ). The Conversation turned serious Thursday, not acting impulsively, We both chose to Sleep on it. In Short she said Somethings, of which I didn't give her the answers she needed to hear and after roughly about a month of soft dating church on Sunday is no more.....Some closure on the story of  why a really pretty got  " Cold Feet" and reneged on going out with me makes sense...........

A Lil Strange

When downloading the Viber App, it showed in my contacts the Young lady whom I was fortunate or unfortunate of bailing her out of Jail at a Haifa Prison 5 some years ago. Out of curiosity, I may very well contact her.......Upon intercepting the Klos C ship headed to Gaza with Iranian Missiles, members of the Israelis Seals  told the captain " We are not Pirates, We are the Israeli Defense Forces ". I am sure the Hundreds of thousands Haradeim protesting would be very proud.........Sad to hear how Former UNC coach Dean Smith is Suffering from Dementia, One of my favorite all time quotes from the Dean "You should never be proud of doing what’s right. You should just do what’s right.” . Meeting the coach at the ABCD camp was a great thrill, he couldn't have been friendlier and more pleasant  asking and answering questions as he posed for photos and signed my Dollar Ala the Lubavitcher Rebbe, In moronic fashion i mailed to a girl i was trying to hook up with online it was in 97 or 98......... 03/06 Six Years to the Merkaz Harav  Massacre in Jerusalem Israel.........22 years to the passing of Israeli great and former PM Menachem Begin (03-09)........makes me sad to think, that I am a Selfish Person..........


  

With

  Exception to some Bullvon sitting near us and knocking over OG water and spilling it on her Me and OG had a real good date Sat night. I regret not confronting him, not cause of the accident, but because he didn't apologize.. The agenda communication, of which i am no Ronald Reagan, but was able to articulate my sentiments, and i am learning. The Good news is Their will be church on Sunday........It's Unclear weather i more annoyed by the double standing mini vans with the "Ein Od Melavado " Stickers or with out...... Now Looking back at my coaching career, I really think I did a great job is it my fault my guys were missing lay ups, free throws, three pointers, didn't defend, rotate, hustle or weren't motivated?........Battle lines are being drawn with the new law forcing Haradeim to enlist in the Army. I felt it to be a little disrespectful upon seeing  one of the communities leading Rabbis  to confront him as to why he shared a stage with Virulent Anti- Zionist's at a previous rally. Another Rally is called for this Sunday in downtown Manhattan "Marshall islands" TV will be covering with our with out a cameraman..............