The Good Fortune

    of sitting next to my Uncle (UA) in shul this morning, i especially enjoyed  his overly loud coughs and throat clears, but when he blew his nose, it was amusing to see him check out his tissue, My dad does the same thing, So it must be hereditary.  I don't know why they gave me an Alliyah, it cost me $101 and of course the "Inshalla get Married this year" Blessing from the Reader, and the rest of the Shul crowd, it's getting a little embarrassing ..........What I got for Hanukkah an framed autographed Larry Bird Photo, and a Alexander Haig autographed photo and book.........Submitted by a reader look a likes  l 
Israeli vile Leftist politician Shulamit Aloni and Helen Roper...................

Reprinted, with Special Permission

 from Danmiz.com
7/25/11 (5:30PM) Here is a letter that an anonymous person asked me to post on the site.

This is an open letter to all the girls of the greater Sephardic community between the ages of 28-37.

 As the jewels of the Female Species in the Continental USA and the world, I plead and implore that you do hold the line and don't give in and ever settle for a guy that is short of you're standards. Now, I am aware that these standards maybe just a tad high. That the guy must be good looking, in great shape, wealthy and while were at it let's throw in “he comes from great family”, would cater to every whim and need of yours, funny, smart, and what the heck why not also go shoes shopping with you. Settlements my dear girls are only acceptable to us the Jewish people in the lands of forefathers where the Kingdom Of Judah once reigned. Places like Eli, Itamar, Efrat and Shiloh though they maybe referred to as settlements. To us, they are indispensable parts of the greater Land of Israel. I do apologize that you're dream guy may have gotten away, be it the star QB, or banker or real estate mogul's son, but stay positive! We the Jewish people have waited 2000 years in the Diaspora to return to the land God has given us as it is written in Genesis "to you (Abraham) I will give this land". And these promises are being fulfilled every day in the form of "Shevat Zion". Remember that "us guys" also dream and aspire to be with mediocre looking girls who are bossy, demanding, have great expectations, and seldom put out, but the "us guys” are a settlement. This world is inhabited by great guys and unlike heaven where our fellow cousins whom are promised paradise and 72 virgins in return for "martyrdom"- the Virgins have run out- OK maybe only the really hot ones that they are promised ran out, but that great guy is here somewhere. When the doctors showed Jimmy Valvano the x-ray on his back, it was all black and indicated cancer. Valvano told him "doc you forgot to use the flash"- But he never gave up and urged everyone "to never give up". My message to you  "Don't Dream, Be The Dream.......... 

90% of the Exit Polls,

 are in, and it looks like a winner has been declared, Not unless I have a "Dewey Defeats Truman" Moment, Due I have any chance With RE girl. I think Texts Say a lot more than what they read and when you get back cordial after you send formal, meaning you send something nice and she sends back an OK or :-). To quote the Moronic Roger Toussant* "Tings Do Not Loook Goood " contrary to what some may think  I will NOT be Jumping off the Willis Ave Bridge...... With That I rejoined Online dating yup again, and can't understand why someone would Flirt or email me and then not respond when I email  them back, Again they Message or Email me first so I don't get it............Lynne Samuels the Obnoxious, Loud mouth, Progressive, Radio Host Passed away last week, Her distinguished voice and accent made her listenable,despite her views  being vile........


*MTA Boss who Decided to strike on Xmas week of 07

How Many Syrian Girls,

 Know what the Ari Halberstam Memorial Ramp is?.........   The Story of  Radical Haredeim who spat on an 8 year old girl in Beit Shemesh, Israel, for dressing Immodestly, has not only gone Viral, but has been a top featured story on all world press. I likened the Haredey community to the Taliban, This whole woman in the back of the Bus Business is Nutz... From a Nov 24 2010 post -.................Israel 2010- Hareedem have segregated buses   Women sit in the back, who will be the Hareedy version of  "Claudette Colvin" ? ( she was the original black girl that stood up and wouldn't move to the back ahead of Rosa Parks)of the Hareedy women

Rain Would Make it Perfect,

it always rains during execution......  Feeling like a 16 Seed Getting into the NCAAs, to play the #1 Seed, There was Excitement to make it to the "big Dance", I went into tonight's Date with RE girl, Fully expecting to hear the "We can be Friends" soliloquy, and The Heavy rains made that setting perfect. My Car Reeked of Cologne As I  really over did it worse than the  banana Boats. We Went to the place where I had my car Towed, She was fun, Relaxed, tired, and looked great. We Spoke about pretty much nothing, and the only way I impressed her was by trying her fishy Sushi, I did say a prayer before i ate it, Wasn't a Berecha but the "El Malea Rachameim" Just in case   I brought up the conflict of Interest, Just to let her know that I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, she seemed indifferent to the situation and didn't answer really. I dropped her off by her cousins engagement party, She cordially invited me, I respectfully declined. The Good news is  I think i have a better understanding as to what's going on, The Bad news is I think i have a better understanding as to what's going on...........

Kyrie Elesion,

was the first thing that came out of my mouth  ( of course that meaning  lord have mercy) when i saw RE girl. She looked beautiful, Smelled great and on time. Timid at first, I started feeding off her Giant personality and in under two minutes was loose, But still had a lot of questions in my mind. I told her I was very Appreciative of all her help regarding a deal we were working and made sure to accentuate to her that I got her something as a Token of my appreciation for her help, and rather cause I would be trying to overwhelm her. We Went for Dinner and nothing Stalled there was always something to talk about. She taught me fashion and real estate I reciprocated with Sports,and politics. I'd say we got along great, which had a lot to do with her Personality. According to Schedule I first gave her a Rehashed Gift basket I got from my Salesman,( i added some chocolate but she knew it was rehashed)  Then a Giant Calculator ( she didn't have one when i first met her ) Then  some "Chachkis" ( Syrian word for junk)  from Gideons and a small Gift card- She was extraordinarily Thankful  and very appreciative of the gesture. There will be Church on Sunday, only on Tuesday

What the

 Hell happened to Kwanzaa again this year ??......A tough question to the female readers would they want to be the "picture" of a revolution even if they had hairy arm pits            Getting advice with for my planned "meeting up" with RE Girl is confusing. The One thing I am certain about is That I have to take her to a restaurant that has good Bathrooms, and that is due to the Weekend I am having. I met up with a friend at a cafe and had to go- go-  number two-  times. Of course I lied and said it was number one, But you're thinking the other person is thinking you went for Number Two. Due to that reasoning a Place that has good bathrooms is definite on the agenda Just as a precaution....

Church on Sunday,

Was a term  I  Borrowed  from the Robert Duval Movie the Apostle. In The Movie Congregants were building a new Church, and were finally Excited of the prospects of having "Church on Sunday"- and something great happening.  In Moronic Fashion I started Utilizing this Phrase, after First dates, Should there be Church on Sunday Then there will be a following date. Since that's by far the most featured phrase in this blog, I felt i needed to elaborate as to what it means.........I really want to quit the "Running" Business, I was convinced by a friend that it can have really bad consequences, The problem again I can't say No. My Navigation failed me this morning  during my "Run"  I wind up getting lost in North Jersey for over an hour.  Mission accomplished though......DC Weekend was canceled There was no way I could have made it there before the Sabbath.....

The Trip to.

 Our Nations Capital  this weekend is still on hold, Should i renege, it will be the 4th thing i have changed my mind on  this week, and feel real guilty about, It's not a good week for my mind......" You don't look too bad, you can use another one" 27 years ago today The Bernard Goetz Shooting......The Turkish  "Zero problem"  foreign policy seems to be working out great, First Israel, Greek Cyprus, Armenia, Syria, and now France who just passed  the Armenian Genocide Denial Bill in Lower house. It's Nice to see two Hostile countries to the Jewish State fighting......I was scheduled for a pick up, But the guy Can't meet me tonight cause He's celebrating Hanukah, nice to see religion take precedent in the Scumbag Business..... 

My Sister

         gave me Advice " I know you have no balls, so whenever you get involved in something that's not good for you (i.e.relationships, Business etc..) Just Lie. I committed myself verbally to partner up with two people that I do not really know in an apartment investment. RE girl did all my homework for me and concluded it was a sound investment, pending the partners- I Reneged on the deal last minute, I was convinced it was too complicated.....I was buzzing at  every store i went in to today, cause The Security tag in my new jacket was never removed, I felt like a shoplifter, and proceeded to show every store clerk my bag and empty pockets to disprove that......My Mom Has been really really nice to me lately, I'm not liking it at all, and would love to know what's going on..........

Tap or Bottled

Water? Believe it or not and I was in the not camp, On a date that can matter. I always order Tap Water, cause Former Poker player David Grey Told me that the water is filtered anyways. Some Girls from the community that rhymes with Myrrian, May see You as frugal, ohh no, Another stupid thing to think about.........A Special Thanks to Weightlifting Champ DS for now  teaching me to Do Sit ups "Standing on One Foot"- Meaning the Way of The Great "Hillel Ha Zaken".......I had winners in Pick up Basketball at the center with some kids I used to coach, One of the Kids tried to waive me before the game even started, I Wind up playing and fighting with half the guys on my team, they took Objection to me telling them to fight through screens instead of ducking them amongst other things...... There maybe a Trip to our nations Capital this Weekend Stay Tuned.............

Too Be Cold,

Too Look Hot is a great Sacrifice girls take upon themselves when they go out, and my complements would go out to Sephlink girl tonight for that. I Remembered the House, as mentioned before I did go out with her sister a couple years ago. The conversation was as expected, i asked the questions and got back the short answers, clearly she was uninterested, but i tried to make it fun, which wasn't working. One of the only time  she laughed was when My Chair at the restaurant made a Fart noise that really sounded like one, I was contemplating telling her it was the chair, but just passed cause it didn't even matter. Another thing to labeled   in the world of Sy girls. We spoke Carpets, The Feud, Calories, the Gym and people watching. She laughed when i told her the last girl i went out with that liked people watching, That i was the only People she didn't like watching. No Traffic on the ride home no church on Sunday........ Ding Dong Kim Jong il is Dead..........

Subtle Hints,

Were not going anywhere in my attempts to Flirt with RE* Girl, and with that the  "Operation Nixon " Mission is aborted. There is a definite  Interest But unfortunately it's not the interest I was hoping, I am interested in Her, and she is Interested in doing her Job and making Money Which is  fair. She has been Very helpful on the Business End of things...... No pressure with Seplink Girl, after all it is a Sunday Night (its a wild card night)  Date Ill give her Options as where's to go......For the Second Year in a row I attended The "Flotilla" Birthday of my great Turkish Friend  Looloo, We caught up a little bit, I didn't want her to feel like she needed to entertain me, Due to the fact that I couldn't really speak to anyone but her, so i left pretty early. There was a big crowd there and they were mostly CHP ( the Turkish Peoples republic party- the non radical one).....I Saw Morris "Truck, Dinkins, Mubarak" Dweck at the center, for the first time since his abrupt dismissal as Coach of Magen David. "What Happened "? " Basically they called me on the last day of school last year, and said some kids wont be coming to the school if i were still coach- You're Fired"..Classy Freddy Blassie

My Sister in Law,

Lied to me when she said she bought tickets in advance to the Hebrew Party. We met up in front of the place and went in after a Ten minute wait. The Place was packed and what annoyed me was not the fact That I cant dance or have any confidence to hit on girls in a club setting, But That the dance floor covered the whole floor so it was nearly impossible to get to the bar, or walk across( holding a drink is almost mandatory cause that way it looks like you have something going on).  SIL* insisted that a girl was trying to get my attention " how so"?- She was taking pictures of her friend right near you, She came to sit right near you, She "accidentally" flicked you - and she was smiling at you - Call me Ishmael But I didn't notice. To get our Moneys worth we stayed almost Two Hours, The Highlight of the night was when I saw someone I knew with a friend of his that was a girl - She told me to "Stick my Finger here"- but  it was under her jacket sleeve to show me how her coat connected to her sleeve........
*sister in law

In 1973 Norm

Sloan guided his NC state Wolf pack team to a 27-0 Record, In Chapel Hill They Responded "Can You Imagine what Dean Smith would have done with that Team".... Most People don't understand the point, But In Coaching especially the Lower level ,where kids can dominate based on there size and strength and not Skill The Wins and Losses are not as important as the Fundamentals and playing the right way. A trained  Monkey can coach a team that its bigger and stronger and go undefeated at that level, and then be heralded as a great Coach..........My Sister in law, Suggested I go with her and my brother to a Dor Chadash Hanukkah party, I could have just said NO, but of course I didn't-  I am being a douche bag about going, But I'll go............

In 1954,

Danny Biasone was credited for saving Professional Basketball, by lobbying strongly for a 24 second Shot clock. It's Time for NBA entertainment to be saved again, and let's Please emphasize the Game....... Last week there was some confusion with me calling Sephlink girl, We Spoke for around Fifteen Minutes, She sounded real nice, Maybe she really  doesn't know what I look like you, See you on Sunday.........Shas Mk Nissim Zeev Proposed, that Religious IDF soldiers whom don't want to walk out on a woman singing in an IDF Sanctioned Ceremonies and events, Get them Ear Plugs- The only Question Will the Rabbinate or the Army pay for the Ear- Plugs?.... Another note on Israel, the Settler Movement attack on an Army Base, was Reprehensible, Jews attacking Jews, Inexcusable. Shame on them..........

To Be a Hot Girl,

        is by probably the greatest thing in the world to be . A Special announcement in shul   "We are collecting for a woman with Nine Kids, She needs our help" - No doubt a worthy cause, But MaroneAmi for a middle aged woman who knocked out Nine Kids, She was Hot, Every one gave......Another Two Minutes with The RE Agent and that Apt would have been hers........... A great idea by a Chicago Strip Club- Lap Dances for the Needy http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/chicago-strip-club-offers-free-lap-dances-toy-donations....... I was playing 20 Questions with my Niece - some of the clues that came up in the  "person, Place or thing" Game - Ahmad Chalabi, Gehenom, Menachem Begin, Sour Sticks and Hacham Hillel .......... Netanyahou......... What is the new "N" Word in the Obama Cabinet?...........

White Lies and,

Transfers don't suit me too well, But I must say i am getting really, really good at them. My Problem in a nut shell is ONLINE dating, I am receptive to any email I get, just cause i am can't say no ( for the record there aren't a lot of these), The problem is when the girls suggests on meeting up, I'm always ok with it, then 24 hours or so before I make up an excuse as to why I can't meet up, It's usually the going to Philly excuse. This is why I quit Plentyoffish as most girls have no future potential and I suck at just Hooking up its called a horrible conscience..... Me and Panama had a misunderstanding, She asked me Why I backed off?, Cause No Response = Negative Response, She disagreed, we parted on good terms exchanging numbers and emails- But She stressed "She doesn't need anymore friends"- I said I have enough also ( I lied again)......The complex Scheme of Operation Nixon was called off for now, I can't  discuss the covert operation here just yet, but promise to reveal all the details in later post........

No matter what the People say,

 Army- Navy By far is the greatest and most special Rivalry.... Some would argue Red Sox-Yankees, Celtic- Lakers , Halaby-Shami , but the Army- Navy Game is not only a great day for the Armed forces, but for Patriotism and America - It will never cease to be Special ... I find it very weird that the Yellow Chabad flag terribly resembles the Flag of Hezbollah....Panama texted right before Shabbat, "Shabbat Shalom, hope to see you before I go"- Huh??......I felt like #37 Richard Nixon the other night, Scheming to see if a "certain" girl would go out with  me "- I was getting a lot of conflicting advice- but will have to wait till next post to see what's up. Vegas has me at 18-1 Strange things do happen sometimes..........

Imagine

Mark David Chapman Didn't assassinate John Lennon 31 Years ago today........ I got caught up in a conversation with POF girl, last night, she started talking about having to go to her Lesbian friends wedding,and that led to the endless questions, which by that time I didn't realize it was too late to call Sephlink Girl. I didn't call Sephlink girl again tonight either.......After being forwarded a listing in my building for a well above asking price I decided to see if I should list my Apartment. When I met the agent I was amazed how pretty she was, I told her I am not the Best seller, cause I don't really need the Money, and win lose or draw, i don't want to lose money, and kept thinking  How wrong would it be if I asked her out?  I didn't......yet,  Though I doubt  shell say yes, it will under NO circumstances effect the business relationship........

For the Last time,

I will Refute any connection that I had in the firing of JB . An anonymous source suggested  (which is true by the way ) that this was the first time in 20 + years that A coach at MDY was dismissed during the season, and  that the last time this  happened was when I, yours truly was a player on the team. We were playing at Flatbush and getting hammered, Our coach with already two Technicals wasn't thrown out, cause we had no one to take over, Except for my Mother. Early Third quarter The Coach Explodes and needs to be separated from the Ref, Escorted out of the Gym - the only adult we had at the game was Rena my mother, and the jerkoffs at Flatbush insisted we finish the game so the scrubs on there 24 man roster can get in for some extensive Garbage time.  Although she put me back in the game, this was not a hatched up scheme to get The coach fired, and Rena never came to another game. As far as Im concerned this situation is over and I do this to stay close to G0d...........

Irving Shnepps,

 taught us the valuable lesson of Business " We Are not Here to make Friends, We are here to make Money"........There was an Independent study as to "how much a girl is into you"-When you go to give her a kiss on a cheek depending on how much she turns her neck, That's how much she is not into you........My Agent called me with a New Number- " the girl was looking for someone Younger", She said she used her great sales skills, Looking forward to a great date, OH, I forgot to mention I took out her sister a couple years ago, At least will have conversation...........A Day that will in Infamy,

 Its been 70  years since The attack on Pearl harbor had Whoopie Goldberg and Joy Behar been around during the attack - this is what they would say -we  would like to make it clear that on Dec 7 1941 we were Not attacked by the Japanese, Just some Extremest elements of peoples residing in Japan that hijacked the true ideology of all of Japan - FDR was wrong in declaring war on the Empire of Japan....... Happy 55th to Larry Joe Bird, Nowitzki is better my A$$...........

Singles Dinner .......

      I got a call from a number I didn't recognize, generally I let it go to Voice mail, but I have exchanged numbers with a couple of girls from the plentyoffish website, so naturally i thought it was one of  the girls. She introduced herself, and I asked are you from Plentyoffish, "huh from where?" I caught on  and said never mind. She is organizing  a Friday Night Singles Dinner, and tried to get me to sign up and get other guys that i know- "Why would i want to invite more competition?" - She said there are a lot more girls - "What it's not Free?"  "HUH" - I was joking of course- I pretty much lied to her and told her i would attend, cause there would not be something more awkward for me than seeing a bunch of the same girls i went out with some results ending in disaster or in near disaster...........ON FB: " Sometimes you want to go where everybody Knows you're name"- Cheers

"Which one are you "?

,I asked a girl online who had a picture with a bunch of her friends in it. It was a picture that probably her friends would use to make themselves look better. What I have learned from online dating  is  "post a picture and  make sure it is with people that you are better looking than them" it's very important ( Thats why i am in picture with falafel and Abe)  I didn't want to insult her and ask her if her friends were single........I hate the a$$holes who leave treadmills running.....No Need to Panic, and I happen to believe when  the Muslim Brotherhood and Salafis will be running Egypt, They Even said they don't plan on Imposing Sharia.........  With the Recent firing of Coach JB at MDY - Despite what some say I don't see myself as a coaching Jinx Just cause Every Coach I assisted for happen to get Fired at some point- I had absolutely nothing to do with them being axed.......My agent has decided to add Philanthropist to my dating resume - "it was only an electric toothbrush that I donated to her auction" - There are different levels of Philanthropy - It's like saying  you  drive a Mercedes, only its an old model crappy Mercedes, so not unless they ask what kind of a Mercedes you are You are a Mercedes.........

Rumor has it

      that Hacham Yom Tov gave Mark"Booey" Gindi* special permission to drive on Shabbat to go to Manhattan to  Help save the NBE (national Basketball Entertainment) and save the season, under the guise "pikuach Nefesh "- Reminiscent of the story that Rabbi Ovadia gave then Shas Chairman Aryhe Deri special permission to drive on Shabbat to tell  PM Yitzhak Shamir not to retaliate against Saddam Hussein During the First Gulf War in 91 For Pikuach Nefesh Purposes - Not to take a cheap shot at the Rabbi, but  his  justification to OSLO- yup you guessed it Pikuach Nefesh ( Saving lives)..........Congradulations to LB Sister of Munster on her engagement, I am personally a big fan of the "Munsters" and am very happy for them


*is a know it all big mouth who thinks he has the inside scoop on all sports news

"99%

  of the time When a girl doesn't get back to you, and tells you she lost her phone it means  Take a Hike ". That's what i was explaining to Panama As we were sitting in a very empty Restaurant in Brooklyn. She Shot back " Do you think, I would do something like that " - Nope but from Experience I know what that means and plus you don't owe me anything. I referenced Bababooey with out giving him credit telling her for every one story you hear about a guy wearing down a girl with harassment ( benji bronk) until he gets her there are millions that don't get the girl, and that's not my style to do that. The air was cleared and I got the confirmation..The Sephlink agent has options b and c lined up........ I posted on FB 11minutes and 12seconds the amount of time she was late- Munster commented "that must be a record- was she happy "- I couldn't really comment back cause my mom is my friend,  But he was clearly alluding to......

Thank you, but

No Thank you....I was asked to be on Assistant on the JV Basketball team at a School Will call CHS. Not wanting to commit, I replied "I was asked by the coach to help out here and there", and Thanked them for the offer. In a Stunning twist of Event after the Game last night in which I sat on the bench for the first time in 7 years, The Coach was relieved of his duties, with that "it's not working out" Reasons. The Team lost pretty badly, and it left me wondering had the team performed better this game was that enough to save his Job; (wayne fontes style**) Doubtful. What was weird was that before the game the Athletic Director came over, very cordial and asked to see us after the game, which leads me to believe that the writing may have been on the wall before. For the record I support the coach, under all circumstances and despite not agreeing with him on everything would never undermine his coaching abilities and told him when i disagreed with him in the context of the game. I assured the coach that, although highly doubtful, I would never accept any coaching position - I Am No TODD BOZEMAN..............* correction I inadvertently put UN Partition date as 11-27 it should be 11-29 My apologies to the 3 readers

* Bozeman was an asst coach at cal who led a players revolt against the Coach Lou Campeneli during the early to mid 90s forcing him out ( the star player for cal at that time Jason Kidd)....
** Fontes used to coach the Detroit Lions in the 90s and every year the Lions used to win just eneough games to help save his job

Going Fishing,

At a suggestion from my friend Turk I joined a website called Plentyoffish.com. How much worse can dating get. Turk is a computer Expert who cleans computers of porn, most noticeably his Imam's, He told him it was Haram, the Imam told him to shut up. I am getting some Emails but refuse to succumb to one of my dating rules of not dating anyone who weighs more than me......... I met up with The worlds self proclaimed Greatest Backgammon player Falafel (he got the name for eating falafel everyday while being homeless in NYC)- I watched him and his protege play Abe backgammon, Abe lost 8 points. From past experiences i knew not to bet on Abe I hold the distinction of being the only person ever to bet on Abe over an extensive period of time and go broke, he became an enormous success, I did get his Mezuzot as a consolation prize ...........No Deal -the lady that set me up with Deal girl wants me to try again- " maybe she was nervous"- the Click just wasn't there.......... Here is a link to the  Israeli  Documentary on Falafel  its about five  ten minute segments .http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stwDttkN6VY-

Partition ?

  64 Years to the UN Vote on the Status of the British Mandate Palestine..... Today's Poll Question Whats worse Black Friday Shoppers  or Simchat Torah Revelers?......... If you see something say something, I saw a tote bag from the Arts foundation of Cape Cod In the middle of Park Ave, I walked by it  along with a bunch of people, Then decided to pick it up and shake it, I looked inside nothing suspicious, and after all it was from an arts foundation, I Didn't Say something just moved it to the side...... For Sale 3 Mezzuzot from a Rich Persons apartment, he moved and was going to throw them out, not unless he saw me Starting Bid TBA. Segulah for Wealth...... The Panama Project is Officially over, I'm In NBA Season as far as dating...... Speaking of the NBA, I could care less that this third rate game is back, Its nothing more than Entertainment Much Like WWF wrestling..............

The Old Thanksgiving Sitcom

           Shows were always great for me I  Especially liked  The Cosby Show, and how it was a big deal  who would carve the Turkey. The Funny Thing I never even thought about was why didn't any of the Cosby Kids look alike and why were they a different shade of Black?......I was Thankful to play basketball  today for the first time in a while, I was Thankful that  I had someone whose around 5.5 135 lbs guarding me in the post, I was not Thankful  that I not only didn't touch the ball, but didn't even get a look....I did almost get into a couple fights, one back screening an unsuspecting player that i actually leveled, he wanted to charge at me, I told him this first lesson is free, next time he's going to have to pay money, I am willing to bet hell never ever put his down on a screen for the rest of his life. The Other I was late to help and gave a little extra shove, Kind of like a don't come into the lane statement with out hurting him, He cursed at me, but it didn't escalate....In some respects I can say I am back.........

Probably a Lose, Lose,

lose, Situation. I met up with Panama last night and after dropping her home from  the Harold and Kuhmar movie. I assessed the above situation as LLL... and here's why? Scenario A) A relationship develops, but she goes back home in a couple weeks and Long distance does NOT work these days B) She is not the type of girl as one Source puts it whom " you can slip the Salami " too  so Action is out of the question  C) Keep going out with minuscule chances of choice A happening and no chance of choice B happening but spending Money. The reality is this If a girl is into you, she wouldn't come up with any excuses ( i.e go slow, not ready, washing her hair etc..) to push you away, I know cause sometimes i do the same thing ( never the hair excuse- the surgery was a failure).. The Next play is no play.....

The Three Most,

 controversial Numbers in recent history. Happy 44th to Resolution 242 aimed at guiding negotiations for an Arab-Israeli peace settlement ......Any body here seen my old friend John? 48 years to the Kennedy Assassination......Hows this for Cheesy FB Status "nothing lasts forever even cold November Rain ".........I may have indirectly caused an accident and feel horrible about it - A friend called me from car phone Blue tooth driving down West Side Highway, he was talking about directions and mentioned FDR North - and I told him not to go that way, cause i forgot he was on West Side Highway, his car hit the median or whatever they call that and his bumper fell off, amongst other minor dents to the tire rims etc..I feel like I should contribute something to the accident.....Panama Was supposed to let me know of her Schedule, She never did, against my own advice I sent the "apologetic" text - I'll see her tonight.........

Occupied V. Liberated......

   Was the main event, for tonight's Meeting up with  Israeli girl from Online.Speaking for myself, from the start there wasn't any attraction, her pics looked better than her in real life, But what the hell, why not have a nice night whats the worse that can happen? The Second our discussion focused on the middle east the fireworks started - I asked her where she served- She said in the occupied territories i interjected and said don't you mean liberated- She adamantly replied occupied, I replied according to whom. She didn't like that i refereed to Shimon Peres as the founding father of the settlements (Sebasatia). We agreed that we both didn't like Bibi, but for different reasons and the second i disagreed with her on the Shalit and much worse on the  Grapel Deal the S%it hit the fan - I couldn't even make my argument, she filibustered through the whole segment of conversation, she was loud and belligerent, and of course no offense to Israelis  knew every thing ( she insisted also that the "brave Jordian soldier that killed 7 Israeli girls was not in "isle of peace"  somewhere by Jordan valley but Ramalla) In any event  had she been hot i could have dealt with it. No Church on Sunday ever.............

The Motion Offense

  I tried to teach last night at the practice i attended, compares to someone ordering a Pizza, but telling them to hold the cheese and hold the sauce, in a nut shell an Offense that requires No Screens or Movement - as one of the kids put it "why do we need to do that" - I started  Explaining and then decided  to tell the kid that he was right. Maybe i could have been more encouraging, rather than play basketball telling them to stick to learning Torah or Chazanoot, or suggesting they would be stoned in Biblical times for getting beat baseline, needless to say that's why I can't or don't coach.........Did you know That Pizza is categorized by the US Govt as a Vegetable- the reasoning it contains 2 spoons of Tomato paste.........

Accomadating,

  
         Sure I am the guy ? I Traveled to the Holy City of Deal for an afternoon matinee of a date. It irked me a little, OK a lot,  that 5 minutes before I was scheduled to pick her up- the text rang " I'm running late, need around 20 minutes" "I'm running early, but not a problem." i spent close to half hour at the supermarket buying nothing.... We went to the Pier Village walked around till she said she was cold, I am going to give myself a compliment and say i am a good conversationalist, and it flowed. We Sat in a Desert place, pondering how many calories each thing had, and how it wasn't worth it - I made an off color Joke about the Ice Cream flavors, dropped her off Home at her door- the usual get home safe joke - she didn't laugh, or reply No Church on Sunday However Panama texted me Friday afternoon, We exchanged texts and are scheduled to meet up Tuesday. One thing annoying about her when she laughs on texts its JeJe or JaJa  instead of HeHe or HaHa

What the Hell,

is a "Street player" - the last time I coached Basketball at High School Level was 2002 season. I was hired at a local School to run the JV team. Full of Energy and Enthusiasm I whole heartily believed they would be  Winners. We had a great first practice and concluded it by cutting down the Nets at each end of the court ( Jimmy v style) to symbolize what our goals were. It was all down hill after that The Kids told me they don't adapt to a system Cause they Were "Street Players "- HUH??  this is the bottom of the barrel, the lowest of the low in the basketball caste system kids. We finished a miserable 0-11 and I equated them to the ARAB version of the Bad news Bears as most of them were Arabs. Thanks to them I did learn how to serenade in Arabic woman through the bus windows utilizing  classy phrases like " I love u, Kiss my ass or balls " etc, and improve my cursing at the officials as Arabic profanity towards the Refs was condoned.. The reason I brought up basketball is, I was asked to Help with a JV team, Of course I didn't say No ( cause i can't) but i deflected it until i assured a friend of mine I would try to "help" the team out. It's been 7 years since my last game and I haven't really studied in a while but with out commitment a promise is a promise............

Conflicting Advice?

    Just  like one of those Jews that  goes Rabbi Shopping until they tell them what they want to hear. I finally got the dating advice that is sympathetic towards my cause in the Panama situation. It is pretty much what i wanted to hear. The " let the girl sweat" philosophy ( that is of course only if shes interested) make her wait, Don't call or Text Until next week and Don't ask her out, unless you get a positive response, this by the way contradicts  the EE  "Suffocation policy".......Stat of the day five out of the Seven Noble Prizes awarded so far have gone to Jews...... I was asked if I would go out with someone with a kid-? I guess like all guys if I found her attractive why not..I spoke to  "Really Really Nice" girl from Online - I decided to call her to "keep in touch"- We didn't schedule anything.  "Call me" girl has been in touch with me the past couple days, but that situation in football terms is probably Questionable to doubtful, but not out yet.............

The Torrijos- Carter Treaty,

 Regarding the Transfer of the Panama canal wont be affected, With the fact that things between Panama Girl and I Do Not look Good. The night started off with me "Borrowing " $3.50 in Quarters for her, cause my credit cards were declined at the Muni Meter, I assured her it was a mistake and that I am not broke. We had dinner at a restaurant in midtown, where as usual, She asked if I knew the people that were staring at us, " They look Familiar ", but all Syrians stare at someone that looks familiar. Due to our Horrific scores, We promised not to reveal to anyone  we played Bowling, I bowled in the 80s and it was good enough to beat her and cover the spread. Conversation took a turn to the serious side on the ride home, I am horrible at serious talk and was dropping Bababooey love tapes lines like " let me lay out my intentions" and " Noine" , but at the end pretty much showed my cards, She was a little uncomfortable kind of like let me get the hell out of here i have to make #2 uncomfortable, I was gracious in Defeat, and ended the night well , She said call me, I doubt I will ---- Next stop down the I-95 South?.......Disengagement Huh?????   From Gush Katif to Zuchotti, I would love to hear the Spin on this............

On Behalf,

 of all Jews That have played Basketball, I couldn't agree more with Lebron James assessment that "Jews suck at Basketball " - and take no offense to it, because we do suck. The last Jew To average Double figures in The NBA was Danny Schays for the Denver Nuggets in the 80s when they were Scoring over 135 per game, enough said. As one comedian put it for every good Jewish Basketball player there is a .... Dr somewhere.....My Father donated the Breakfast in shul today, But his name did not appear on the shul silver Screen, I joked with him because he didn't pay yet and they don't accept cantorial services as form of payment.........Submitted by a reader very creepy Look alike Monster Jerry Sandusky and Benjamin Netanyahou......I met up with an Online girl I Scheduled to meet up with, before I met Panama ( so technically this is not double dipping) I tried to get out of it by sending a conciliatory text, but she didn't take the bait- We Hung out for an hour and change, she has an interesting story and is extraordinarily sweet, We ended the night that "will keep in touch "........

Uncomfortable is

      not giving someone about a forty five minute ride that just got laid off  uncomfortable if he was laid off by a family member of yours.............I was privileged to visit the Rubins Friday Night- Mr R is probably the only person I knew who has a personalized  and custom made  "Ushpeezian" -on the topic of un comfort getting lectured by the Rosh Yeshiva about girls can get an a little uncomfortable in front of a lot of people - but not nearly as uncomfortable as when you have an appointment with Nature, I literally was sweating on EE levels I had to go that bad....... Panama Girl returns texts really late,which makes me wonder if she's interested or not- but according to sources she is, will find out Tues night for sure..........."Chaye Sara" in Hebron is like the Super Bowl for the Settlers, thousands migrate to spend the Shabbat there. To commemorate  the Purchase of the cave.......There is more un comfort.......

CouponGate,

Was averted on date #2 with Panama. Consulting with EE and the Mrs, I asked how bad would it be if  i gave the wax museum a 15% off coupon roughly saving  $11.94. Mrs EE was adamantly against it and EE suggested as i was thinking to sneaking it in. I had a full proof plan also to use it but choked I told her i made online reservations, and could of handed the cashier the coupon .The truth is She wouldn't have cared but it's not as nearly as bad as taking food to go. The Museum was fun and after we went to a noisy bar for some serious conversation about the past etc.. Against the EE Smothering policy of hitting her with full court press, I am  having a good time, and liking her a lot  there will be Church on Sunday again....... I got the the best email and response from a girl on line yesterday she lives in the D.C. area but shes hot, and She's real not one of those fake Israeli girl Emails asking me for green card here is the excerpt:    Her:Yalaaaa the chutzpah of you to view me and not write me !?! I won the spelling bee un 7th grade...
 Me:Probably they main reason I didn't was cause you're insanely pretty - i would write beautiful but not sure I'm spelling it right - also the fact that you can handle guns and of Latin heritage (just messin) loved you're profile very cute and funny - and also the Israeli references in the email -I get an email from israel once in a while but it's not for best reasons -I can tell u later - would love to hear what word won u the spelling bee championship - speak too u soon
 Her:Thank you for your honesty. Being Sephardic and knowingh ow to use guns has come handy many times. I too, get emails from Israelis - and for the most part I dont even open them because I dont read Hebrew all too well, plus I am not keen on dating someone who lives 78,000 miles away. Its easier when we are in the same coast.
Ata mevin?

Anywhoo.. the "word" that won me the spelling bee wassssssssss: " CALL ME" -  She left her real number were still playing phone tag

Running,

    Pick ups  and Drop offs is a little more complicated than it sounds. Having a couple of Pick ups and drop offs after not doing them for a while, I had to refresh the rules When going for a pick up I always text a designated friend my location, I always check the area and drive around once or twice to have a look around. When picking up always leave after the guy, and drive up and down a couple blocks around to make sure youre not tailed on drop offs it doesnt matter but always always call the mobile phone when hes there to confirm- the less words exchanged the better..............
          

The Snake,

 Manipulated me and.......... Despite having a lot of connections in the gambling world. The last time i placed a bet on sports was the Superbowl. Last night I knew Georgia Tech was going to cover the spread and win, After all the ACC is on the line,  there playing home and Va Tech is shaky on the road. I took Tech and three other plays, late in the 3rd Things look good Tech is up 5 and just sacked Va Tech deep in their own Zone to force a punt .... BUT a moronic Personal foul Penalty is assessed on a player for throwing a punch after the play was blown dead. Va Tech gets new life comes back and wins big. I got a little Ethnic in my profanity- but realized that just as in Wall Street Corrupt Traders are pulling the Strings on the Stock market- Here players  are entrusted Every week with Millions of Dollars that are placed on them. I didn't lose a great deal of money, but when i put in perspective that I  sometimes wake up extra early, and get home extra late to take the immigrant van to work to save $50 for the day it doesn't make too much sense. At lease i was consistent i lost the other 3 plays i made...............

Dating Options,

 for me come around roughly as often as Halley's comet. Panama Girl had a good of enough time (60%) to make "church on Sunday" Happen Saturday night. Online girl seemed a little more enthusiastic (75%) and we scheduled for Monday night. As a general rule I don't like to double dip, but once agreeing to an actual date, I feel like obligated its called a crappy conscience........... Did you know the song "Eternal Flame" by the Bangles was Inspired by a Synagogue after all it is the "Ner Tamid"..........Disappointments are when you  go out of you're way to walk by a girl you see from the back only to be surprised how she looks from the front.......Waiting for all the original 11-11-11 postings for tomorrow.......... Generally I throw away Thank you notes, but I got a real  nice note from JD's- Thanking me for going out of my way to the holy city to attend. I was glad that  it wasn't one of those generic Thank you notes............

Noreiga check, Just cause

Check, The Canal Check, Mariano Check, all made it into our conversation, amongst a lot of generic and fun topics. I knocked on the wrong door, and it was a good thing no one answered, I text her and she came right down. We at a local Restaurant ( the scene of the crime where me and my sister in law stepped in # 2) so i checked around. I ate before,but ordered anyways- i was thinking about taking the food to go, but my Brother in law Popped into my head, as he was mentioning the horrifying effect it can have on girls to see guys do that on first or second dates. She voluntarily agreed to cross Borough Lines and I showed her a taste of  what American Democracy looks like by taking her  downtown to the Occupy Wall St Site as well as the WTC and Wall Street. We took the Bridge, not for stingy reasons but it easier to get to that area that way, and she doesn't know about it being free. The Beach came up a lot, but only because I liked her accent  and the way she pronounced BEACH. She took it in good fun. Seemed like She had fun, not sure if enough to make Church on Sunday happen ..................

No Chance?,

 Pre Blind Date Preparations........ I brushed up on my Panama Canal trivia, Operation Just Cause,Noreiga and Mariano Rivera, but not unless i can photo shop myself in an hour or so I have no chance. My Agent called and said be careful " she wont get you"- I told her the only Spanish I know is what i read in the Warehouse bathroom walls, and that's highly inappropriate to use. So the plan is a Light Dinner locally, and depending how disappointed we are with each other's looks Either Ill show her around or take her home. One thing for sure I smell  good, Overdosing on Cologne Banana Boat Style helps. It's unclear weather I go to the Door or not, But I am leaning towards going. It was real nice to get an uplifting text from a friend she Stressed Confidence.

When G0d called,

for Joe Frazier the crowd Chanted "One more Round"........ Body Types on Dating Websites can be as confusing as the Torah.  It Starts off Reasonably Easy with the Lean/slender---Fit/Athletic---Average/ Medium--- Proportional---Voluptuous---A Few Extra Lbs---Zaftig.  Rashi that is Rashi of the Dating websites offers this explanation That average/Medium is 10-15 lbs overweight, Proportional  is Curves plus 10- 15 lbs, Voluptuous is extra curves, monster hammers 20+ lbs Extra, the definition of a "few" is 25 lbs +, and Zaftig is the "Ben Tzorer u Morer" of body types,no explanation needed.....Is a Lb of feathers the same weight as a Lb of gold- Do you burn the same amount of calories running a mile in 10 minutes or in 15 minutes?........ New Seph Link asked what happened with her girl she had me call-  I twisted the wording to make it seem like I had to take out Panama girl first, cause she's going back soon and the "window of opportunity" is closing, and also that I don't double dip, but i really do.............

The Rule of,

look out for #1 and don't Step in #2 didn't apply to me on Sunday, I ran into Family of mine on Sunday, and they told me to stop by, I dropped off something by the bank and walked over. My Sister in law smelled a foul smell, and when everyone checked there shoes Guess who was the culprit?? I never even made #2 in the house now to bring it in, luckily for me my sister in law also stepped in it, and a lot worse than me, so it was all in good fun..........Speaking of #2 I went out Tonight for the first time in over a month with a girl i met online, as always with someone new i get that #2 nervously feeling, but it held up. Conversation flowed and She was prettier than her photo, I walked part way home, We ran into Elegant Elliot Offin, he was wearing some sort of dress, I said Hello to Elegant and he Cursed me out a lot. She guaranteed she would return my call Win, lose,or draw. Church on Sunday unclear...............Panama Girl texted me with her Number, Were going to go out tomorrow, Which means i have to cancel "other plans "......... *."Mooseri Economics" States that you never ever turn down cash -  A customer of mine asked if I minded getting paid in Fives or Tens or would I rather wait..............

*money principles of poker ace abe mosseri

Panama, Panama,

    is the excuse I have for not calling New Sephlink girl. My old agent  called me and wanted me to call this Girl who is here from Panama. "But I am supposed to call the other girl"- She said just call her, and we spoke for around 9 minutes, we tentatively scheduled for Tuesday night I left her my number, cause she didn't " remember" her cell phone number, to her credit it could be a different number than her usual one, I do have back - up plans in case though............ It took me 46.2 Seconds to count Ten thousand Dollars in Hundreds..... There is something stinky about my new car lease I still haven't gotten my new plates and was issued a second "20 day temporary" I wish i knew what was up besides the excuse "you're plates aren't ready"........ I am losing in the Food wars as I  have gained a few Lbs since my "injury"   The Howard Stern Diet hasn't been effective.......

Always,

Wait an Extra day to call a girl, whom you get set up with, that way you give her a chance to Renege and back out. So that gives me an Extra Day to call new Sephlink girl. I have spoken with a couple of girls from online and scheduled to meet up next week............. The Rubins Stuck this Tehina Sauce Business in my head, and now every time i go to a restaurant or supermarket i always ask for not only Tehina Sauce, but Hummus Sauce, Baba ganoush Sauce etc. Someone help me...........Loved the fact That Shas Chairman  Eli Yishai  Spent NIS 5000 ($1370) of Tax payer money on his daughters Sheva Berachot. BiBi and the   Kadima were a lot worse, Social Justice protest  in Israel is going to get  a lot more exciting now ......Shir La Shalom 16 years to the Yitzhak Raabin Assassination, Peace my a#$%.........*21 years and one day after since Rabbi Meir kahana was assassinated after giving a speech at a midtown hotel in NYC- I remember talking about it in school the next day and one of the future brain surgeon girls in the class was glee with excitment after hearing Rabbi Kahana was shot- She thought it was our Principal Rabbi Abraham Kahana - who was a distant relative to the legendary Jewish activist..... The slogan "Kahana Tzadak" Kahana was right is still the main battle cry of many Israelis who believe his words regarding the Situation with the Arabs.............

*last years blog

A Surpirse Call,

 Came from a new Agent from SephLink, " We heard so much about you and blablablabla "- Firstly She seems Extraordinarily nice,But she Utilizes the NBA DRAFT Policy, and  in my case i am picking  late in the Second Round. She ran off some names and  with a lot of embellishment  she was able to provide every single detail on every girl, to her credit she found something nice to see about everyone - " Is there anyone you don't like" she replied she doesn't deal with anyone she doesn't. Some of the girls She mentioned Had " great smiles " or were excellent cooks  etc. After Three months of being out of the loop, I guess I am back............There is a girl I know online and I kind of feel bad for her, ( I should feel bad for myself ) Shes been online for a while, Her Credentials are great, shes has an important job, Decent shape, Really nice girl  Butherface........My Brother in law hates me. I have managed to Malign him and get on his nerves, ( i am very good at that) By calling him a " hero" - for being on the scene at the Hit and Run accident on Ave S and 4th Tuesday Night. According to Sources he was really shaken up after seeing the accident, Let's pray that every thing turns out OK for the Boys that were hit...............

Thanks to my Father,

  for allowing me to make another special Mitzva, Not cause I wanted to but i felt really guilty if I didn't do it..... I am going to keep my great idea for a TV show to myself, the Pain of getting ridiculed bothers me even if it is by the two or three readers that read this blog. Here is an Excerpt of a short conversation i had with a friend on how to pick up woman at the gym 

Iwananame:  like "how do you set the distance or time to jog"

 KnightIU:  what else Iwananame:  then just say "I'm  ------------  whats your name" Iwananame:  "normally i love playing basketball running up and down the floor but i see all you guys jogging on treadmills and I guess that is the way to go.  I can track my calorie loss" Iwananame:  "so what do you do for a living?" KnightIU:  nothing hope to marry someone rich Iwananame:  huh? Iwananame:  no you dumbass! that's what you say to her KnightIU:  no that's what they do for a living Iwananame:  IDIOT! you are trying to strike up a conversation Iwananame:  fake it if u have to! DONT Fu%&ING  ASSUME THEIR ANSWERS

 KnightIU:  i need a better excuse its the confidence man i have none Iwananame:  what the hell man! Whats the worst that can happen Iwananame:  so she says she is busy and cant talk, BIG DEAL Iwananame:  what are u afraid of?  if i am there, i will be there for moral supoport KnightIU:  i get ridiculed i dont want to be that LOSER that hits on every girl and gets talked about Iwananame:  you wont be KnightIU:  im not up too "samson" option yet approaching "hail mary" option

Iwananame:  what if the girl u see on a treadmill is cute and u like her.  You take the treadmill next to her and start up the conversation.  IF SHE IS SINGLE in her 20s, she may very well welcome the chance to meet a new guy and see if there is anything there.KnightIU:   E--  this is like youre full proof "Atlantic city " plan where u go to AC win a few thousand dollars then play video poker the rest of the night  Iwananame:  and it worked KnightIU:  the only difference at the casino u get much better odds Iwananame:  idiot....u are so worried about embarrassing yourself.  So what?  so never try?  so never take a risk?    Iwananame:  ok so meet me tonight at about 8:45 for some jogging or, in your case, some light walking  KnightIU:  im in Iwananame:  we'll check out the sexy females wagging their asses at us and you will pick who u like and we'll approach her  KnightIU:  sounds like a great plan

Trick Or Gas X ?

       I have done some moronic things in life, But giving kids Gas X for Halloween may be the worse. I was picking up Money and a return from a customer on the Upper West Side, a couple kids thinking i was holding candy ( Gas X boxes look like candy) asked me for it, and with out flinching I just gave them one each. I spoke to a Pharmacist to make sure it wasn't dangerous. The last Halloween that i remember participating in was when i was at Gideon's and a group of inner city youth raided the store taking chewing gum,cough drops and travel size medicine for trick and treat, They called us racialists after we threw them out ....... Blessed be that Exonerated from this one's sins, My Old  has Haunted me for almost 3 years,  after not only overpaying for the car and purchasing over 40,000 miles at .16 clip I coughed up another $1300 in mafia wear and tear fees, I am pretty sure I am done with it...............Baruch Dayan Ha Emet Rav Benny Eisner an Ardent Zionist and Rabbi at B''MT has passed away - I Always felt bad no appreciating him enough and  being a goof in his classes........Mix up girl Called me back on Sunday after about a week- on a scale from 1-10 of how bad is it if i don't call her back "PH" said 10......................

In Sports,

 When marking a milestone, what they do is they have a corner in the stadium where the fans would either add a K for a Strikeout or Games Played Checklist like they did For Cal Ripken. In Israel they also have a K  corner ( nor like Ralph Kiner's ) marking how many Kassam rockets have been fired since the Gaza Retreat of the Summer of 2005........... I am getting a little sick of someone whose name rhymes with frumster texting me everyday $101 for his charity and then Sirius? to use my account as Truck would say Enough Enough........Hopefully the readers would side with me when I ask is it being disloyal for praying at the same shul where the Rabbi is preventing a good friend of mine to coach at a school hes an administrator at. I hope my friend doesn't decide to pray bad for me if i do, last time he prayed bad for me I cut my Eye, got stiffed by a customer, and had a flat tire with in 3 days..............

Sour Grapels.......

   Benjamin "isiah Thomas" Nothinyahou, pulled off another Blockbuster sending 25 Egyptian ( don't be fooled by the there non- security related offenses Half of them were) Prisoners, Promises By America to Give F-16 Jets to the Stable and Future Islamic Republic of Egypt, and Future considerations  in Exchange for the Leftist Adventure Seeking, trouble making  American- Israeli Ilan Grapel. He was Quoted as " loving Arabic Culture" -  People Love Hookers, but that is mean they will screw them with out a bag, Meanwhile  the only people that got screwed were the Israelis who not only capitulated again, also  spent Millions in Tax payer money to free this Bum. Not to sound mean, but too bad he only got wounded in Lebanon and not.............

I would like to Apologize,

to Anukkah and to  anyone for causing them any hurt, harm, or injustice with a spam Email that was sent by from my account that potentially had a virus. I got a lot of Emails and calls from people telling them I spammed them, The Hardest one by far was from my Father, took a while to explain to him what had happened. This Spam Email Reached Thousands of contacts, all amassed from the first days I got AOL, as i was unaware that every Email i sent, was put into my address book, Most people were understanding and i got a bunch of who the hell is this Emails,of course it had to be from girls that i either went out with once, or was in contact with in 1999. I agree it is a little bit difficult to explain Emails like SexyBrownThang@yahoo.com - but i am sure it's got to be good. The Reps from Aol- Bangladesh or Sri- lanka assured me that once i change my Password it wont happen again...............

No Runs, No Hits,

No Errors, No prospects and no Problems. Since Quitting  the Online Dating site, (I know again), The Seven years of Dating Famine are back. The last I left off was with the text from "AI" girl telling me she's not feeling very well, luckily i know how to read through the lines on what that means......... Pretty Amusing  in Gaza The new Fashion is the "Shalit" Shirt the same one he was wearing when he was released. Price NIS 60  around $15........While playing Basketball Sunday night It felt like someone beaned or Kicked my Calf, The Kids that i was playing with, made fun of me that I couldn't play, and it's to the point where I am walking like an old man, It's amazing how we take the simplest things in life for granted..........The set up lady( PH) texted me to find out if i called back " MixUp" Girl, I told her she texted me shell get back to me, but has not - her advise "if She contacts u go out, but if not u can leave it "- I have my fingers crossed, not saying which way............

Blessed Be The Redemeer............

        The SimachatTorah Spectacle passed with out  incident, and therefore the "Redeemer blessing" does not  need to be said this year.......... Me and my Dad are Suing the  B.Y. Shul, for age discrimination . in their Father- Son Minyan. No where in the minyan charter is there an age limit...... A headline in an Arab publication The lynching of Muammar Gaddafi at the hands of Crypto Jewish Mistrata tribe rebels. ..........  The Death of Ghaddafi has hit Prostitution rings in Europe and primarily in Italy like a Tsunami. Ghaddafi Known  for his generosity with hookers,Lavishing  them with Money,Gifts, and of course the Holy Koran- (to this day there is NOT one case of any Hookers converting to Isalm) has sent prices way down in tricks turning business.Will his family carry on the tradition of handing out the annual "Ghaddafi Human Rights award " , maybe good friend Nation of Islam leader will provide a scholarship fund in his memory........With all the Unrest in the Middle East Rumors of a Coup at the Ahiezer synagogue have been proven false.  Despite some rumblings The Shul which has become primarily Shami, are content with  the ruling Masalaton Dynasty.....  After already spending $800 on car maintenance BMW  hit me with a $2231.00 bill after i turned it in, That's slightly less than my dating budget thus far  in 2011. Perhaps punishment for dealing with a German car?.......

A Very Unpopular,

 opinion I had regarding the Israeli- Hamas Exchange, amongest  My Family and some of my Israeli Friends.   I disagreed with the trade , but when it became inevitable, I didn't think this was cause for celebration. As written before on my last trip to Israel or Palestine whatever the hell you want to call it, I should've known something was up when the "Shalit Tent" disassociated itself from fellow missing Israeli navigator Ron Arad, Shalit was featured on stickers, T- shirts and bulletin boards with Arad and suddenly they removed Arad, whose still missing along with 3 others from the first Lebanon War. Correct me if i am wrong but doesnt  Israel also have an Obligation to Arad and the 3 missing Soldiers from 82 in the Battle of Sultan Yacoub.Here are some Rejected FB Status over the course of the deal 
     1. Shas and the Haradiem don't need to worry about Hamas threat of  Kidnapping soldiers   none of them serve in the Army
 2. Menachem Begins biggest mistake wasn't retreating from Sinai But giving Nothinyahou his  first Job in politics
 3. There Blood screams but there voices will not be heard
 4. How much did BiBi Pay Shas for Harav Ovadia endorsement on the deal
 5. The Shalit deal vindicates the Vikings For Hershcal walker being worse trade ever
 6.  The Price of Israeli Soldiers currency over the last 25 years increased 3 fold   383.3 for 1  now 1027 for 1

Thanks for Nothinyahou..........

   In a Lose- Lose Situation the Israelis decided to Lose big time. I am Happy for the Shalit Family, But sad for Am Ysrael. Next on the Israeli Agenda is an Apology to Turkey, Lift the Gaza Blockade, Stop Building in Jerusalem and Divide it, and then clear up Judeah and Samaria. Then and only Then the world will love you........Who the hell Choreographed the Lulav and Etrog Dance during Hallel?. I boycotted the singing of kedusha today in shul, it was in the Hatikva Tune......Did Shimon Heres opps Peres Sign all 1027 Pardons? The Rights's had a special Prayer hoping his Hand would fall off...... Another Thing that Bothers is Why The Hell are all the Arab's in Jail FAT- Gilad Shalit got out of captivity he looked emaciated, these Arabs each one is fatter than the next- Good Job Israel Prison Services......I am happy to See Civil War averted in BY Shul over the merging of the First and Main Minyan for SimchatTorah...... I Promised PH I would call the Girl there was a mix-up with but still haven't- She insists shes expecting my call I don't really believe her......Last thing on this horrific exchange NOT ONE ARAB condemned the release of the terrorists released today- can you Imagine Shalom Achashav Having a rally for Someone Like Baruch Goldstien or Ami Popper ?..........Why the hell did the Israelis Hire Isiah?..........

Code Red,?

With anticipation of violence and Riots in synagogues across the greater Sephardic community area for the SimchatTorah celebrations Thursday Shuls have gone on high alert by hiring thousands of extra security personal both uniformed and undercover to deal with and violence and candy bag scofflaws. The NYPD has also been alerted as well as some elements of the Natl Guard can be called up to quell potential violence. A Spokesman for one of the synagogues said "We have devised several systems and back up systems to prepare for every scenario, we have several crowd dispersal methods and have stocked up on anti- riot non lethal equipment, and further more despite the recession we have approx 100-150  extra bags". A moment of silence will be held for all the victims of the past Simchat Torah Wars, The Rabbi profoundly in King David Eulogizing Saul Fashion said of the martyrs " Ha Tzvi Ysrael al Bamotech Chalal Ech Nafloo Geborim "....(Your glory, O Israel, lies slain upon your high places! How the mighty have fallen). There shouldn't be any rush to judgement as to whom the main perpetrators to the violence as in the past the Shammis (Damascus) have been unjustifiably singled out. My Simchat Torah Suggestion  is to eliminate the candy  and give out Celery sticks, carrots and apples instead.  It would not only cut costs, But it's healthy and would reduce traffic and violence by at least 80%.................

one of my favorite,

 Things is when i am talking to a girl on line for a short while than have  her check me out on FB, and suddenly i get that "it's getting really late or that she has an emergency". It  doesn't really bother me cause i know that eventually that's not how I am going to get girls, but I use the online world as an additional outlet so my expectations are slim to none...........After 100 days of the Hair surgery I am almost at a point of calling the operation a failure, I knew I should have chosen the option of being with Ashley Dupree for the night for that kind of Money. Alkoa*I did not make the right call................This Holiday is a critical battle on the war on Food. I try to avoid going anywhere as i know my stomach would take a pounding, The Time has come to bring peace to my stomach a stomach that has not tasted  not even one day of peace from the Fulfillment of the prophecy of Returning to Zion........ I have been Emailing with a lot of Girls from Israel just seems like i have more in common with them, plus the potential cheesy lines can work- here is an example of one email   - i think you're extraordinarily pretty to a point where in our religion u make a beracha when seeing something that beautiful - i know that sounds like a tacky cheesy line - but I wouldn't use that like that. K.E........ so far the plan is a failure......

* aloka was a company that had commericals with the Slogan - " you make the call" in the 80's

LulavGate..........

     There are two ways you can look at the way the Lulav and Etrog Business is being conducted. From the Vendor stand point He See's people driving fancy cars and wearing designer clothing and then haggling over a Mitzvah for 10 or 20  dollars. The Buyer's Point is He doesn't want to get ripped off no matter How expensive the car. I was always curios what the mark up on the Lulav is ?........ I Delayed purchasing the set figuring just as in Event Tickets  the closer to the holiday the cheaper the price would be. Instead I got Robbed I paid $50 for a Set that looks like my A$$. It almost made me feel as bad as getting a parking Ticket, I hate when people Hijack a Religion to Justify the cost of Something as the vendor did  it's for a Mitzvah- When people used to Buy Viagra from me I never told them it's a price they had to pay to get laid cause either insurance didn't cover it  or the company would raise the prices to counter there non profitable drugs. It Sucked even more when I saw people in shul bragging how they paid $25 or $32 and even had it delivered to their homes. It is Not Cheap to be a JEW..................

BIBI Read Your'e Own Book........

 "Fighting Terrorism" My A$$.........The Gilad Shalit Swap was almost overwhelmingly approved by Israeli cabinet  26-3- with Boogie, Uzi Landau and Lieberman voting against. With claims that the window of opportunity to free Shalit were closing the Israelis succumbed and gave in Hamas Demands. As We all know that these "Swaps" have turned out to work out disastrously with The "Jibril agreement" in the 80s and the criminal trade to Free Druggie Loser Elchanan Tanenabaum in 04 amongst others. I Hope that no one else will die from these Deals, But unfortunately History is not on the Israelis side. Not only are these Killers un remorseful but are proud of what they have done and will try to kill again. There is no difference between woman, children, elderly, soldier or civilian as there argument is everyone will eventually be a soldier.... Sadly this is the realty. Terror has to be dealt with the way Author Netanyahou Deals with it, not the way PM Netnayahou deals with it. Munich Massacre organizer Abu- Dahoud on his death bed said " I am to old to Fight the Israelis, but my grandson will , and his grandson will"....

The Mohel,

is a woman, My Parents Rena and Shemuel were invited to a relatives Bris, When My father found out the Mohel Was a woman he Boycotted, But Rena decided to go, She lucked out that the Mother Decided to dis invite everyone after possibly going through post birth stress syndrome or something like that. It Turns out that Rena found out that there was actually a Female Mohel in the Torah her name Tziporah....... I Texted AI( austrisrlian) girl to find out if she wanted to meet up sometime in the beginning of the week, cause i wont be able to go out for Sukkot. She texted me back couple hours later- "not feeling to well right now, hopefully I'll be better tomorrow" I remember the last time a girl told me she didn't feel well, how that turned out. i didn't answer and will either wait for Mashiach or for her to get back to me whichever comes first... The Taliban Shul stopped me cause they needed a minyan for Minha/ Arbit, I asked the Rabbi are you sure it's OK cause last time i wasn't Jewish enough, He Said it was because I was wearing shorts, fair argument. Fearing the Radicals in the shul  I didn't look at my cell phone once over the course of the prayers............

Happy Anniversary......The First Entry.........

The four Noes..........

                 Back in Sept of 1967 The Arab league convened in Khartoum, Sudan coming up with a resolution regarding Israel know as the "The Three Noes"- No recognition, No Negotiation, No Peace --- Fast forward to 2010 in a completely unrelated concept  Manners specialist Norm Rubin - Incorporated what has become know as the " Four Noes" regarding table manners in his home something that I believe needs to be adopted in many households - The Noes consist of No passing Salt ( a superstition) No Passing bread( from hand to hand its a sign of how a pauper accepts bread) No Passing Gas- ( This is debatable as to if its silent or loud) but the reference is to all gas - and No Double Dipping - Perhaps the most important of the Noes -

My Biggest Fear for

 Yom Kippur is Supposed to be G0d, But mine is  to have to go to the bathroom. Five years ago as  the prayers were starting i had to go, Living too far to go home, I went in Shul it was horrible, i did use Soap and Water a lot more than is allowed, and for the record had a crappy year..... Yom Kippur To My knowledge is the only Jewish Holiday that is preceded by the word Yom or day. My point is that the Shammys were right after all my using the word Yom before every holiday i.e Yom Shabbat - Yom Shabout- Yom Pesach etc..... Beetle Juice Beetle Juice Beetle juice is the equivalent to someone asking forgiveness three times in a row, that you have to accept the apology. That rule is a crock........I asked if it was permitted to wear white gym Socks with my Suit and Kippur Sneakers? or is it not fashionably accepted...... Stat of the Holiday- Menachem Begin's Father insisted they Brush there Teeth on Kippur, but make sure to rinse out the water.........The Final grade for My Kippur would be a F around 55 - I couldn't help make fun of  "Crazy Joe Devola" sitting in front of me, Herman Munster again, "Azoori" the Combo of Fred Flinstone and Urkel, Ric Flair look alike ( That was DM).. Please make it quick and painless G0D...........

VE HA EER SHUSHAN

NAVOCHA.......Following the Yankees Embarrassing loss to the Tigers  The Wall Street Protesters started moving up their protest to The Bronx. The Yankees Especially A- Rod are making insane amounts of Money, and they not only don't produce, but don't play hard either; Criminals. For the Third Straight year My friend AM invited me a Yankee playoff game. I am 1- 2 in those games. At the Game yesterday, I wanted to be a little obnoxious and stop  random people with Yankee Shirts asking them where are seats  and other information to annoy them, but then realized I am 38 freaking years old....... With the games televised and all the Technology, I still don't understand why Teams need to send Scouts to chart pitches, When they can watch the game at home. They can't see the game clearly, Everyone keeps standing up. Not for me to Understand..........

Out of the Four things

I was supposed to do this week - A. Call Back the Girl I had the Mix Up with PH about  B. Call agent from the Sephlink that wanted to Screen me for a girl she was trying to set me up with  C. Call the Religious girl from Monsey that my Persian convert is setting me up with -D. Go out  with Austrisrialian Girl. I only did choice D. We met up last night argued about Bibi and the protesters a little and had a little bit of a serious conversation about relationship she made it pretty clear that she is "busy" but wanted to see me again, She was comfortable but just things take time, No pressures from my end........Did you Know Steve Jobs Birth dad was a Shami....... Stupid Seinfeld Humor ---If there are Hispanics named Ivan and Vladamir, How come there are no Russians named Jose or Jorge?........ News- Haaretz newspaper Reports Settlers burn Down Arab Olive groves. Arutz Sheva reports Arabs Burn down Settlers Olive groves, Whose lying?...... 

On Rosh Hashana,

it is written and on the day of the fast of Kippur it is sealed...Who shall live and who shall die...who by water and who by fire, who by the sword....(Yom Kippur prayer book). Thirty Eight years to the Yom Kippur war.The Syrians and Egyptians Attempted to Destroy The Jewish state, and although having Success early on, The Israelis rebounded to have their Tanks on there way to Damascus and Cairo. The "Brave and great " people of Egypt still think they won the war, they may have covered the spread, But we all know how the war ended With there whole Third Army Surrounded, and begging like dogs to be taken prisoner so they can eat and drink. A heavy price was paid, almost 2700 dead, an unacceptable figure. After getting Bashed by The Agranat Commission. It was nice to Read that Chief of Staff  David "Dado" Elazar was Vindicated, and credited for managing a brilliant war, at least his family lived to see that, as he died a couple years after the war many say of a broken Heart..............

Traffic is the only thing that the

" This is what Democracy looks like" Occupy Wall St rallies will accomplish. I am No fan of Wall Street, and support anything as long as it doesn't cause Traffic, but This is out of hand. The only thing I understood from the protest  is that Some A-holes paid 80K for college majoring in Art or English Literature can't get jobs and now are in Debt. Apparently they didn't get the memo there is no Money in Chaucer or Beowulf. If the Rallies really want to start getting Popular I think they should  Start Blaming Israel and the Jews, It's a cant miss. The tune is catchy.............Poor "Munster" Still Suffering from Battered Wife Syndrome - he keeps  going back to playing on the Same Team with a Guy who promises him meaningful Playing time only to be told Something like "it was too close" or it was wrong match- up etc.I came up with an Equation of " How much Munster would cost his team, while in the game?" I wont show the work but the fact finding commission Established the damage would be minimal.......I finally got a car, not exactly happy with the Service, but I'm used to it from the car leasing people............

"Wallahi Ul Azzim"....

   is the Reason "Uncle Joe " The founding father of the youth Minyan at SZ synagogue doesn't want to give me an Alliyah. I keep telling him"Wallahi Ul Azzim" (a Swear in Arabic using g0ds name) and when he yells at me i tell him "Wallahi ul Azzim" I wont do it again. Apparently it's very bad to say it and disqualifies me from going up to the Torah........I will try harder not to poke fun at any one on Yom Kippur, On Rosh Hashana it was "Azzoori " The guy that looks like Fred Flinstone and sounds like Steve Urkel, Who insists on Screaming the prayers with  his distinguished voice and off tune melodies. Someone Suggested i give him the benefit of the doubt that he is praying with a lot of meaning and spirit. The other is "Herman Munster"- i actually look forward to seeing him every year as it's the only time i get to see him, and hope he sticks around for a while.........."I Tried to Be Good " No He was great. Am Ysrael Mourns the Passing of Hanan Porat- A Man who Embodied the spirit,courage, and heart of his people. He was a legendary fighter, and a founder of  "Gush Emuniem" - . Am Ysrael. Eretz Ysrael. Torat Ysrael this was Harav Hanan Porat..............