New Dating Advice

  From the Israeli Show Singles will be most valuable to me on future dates. Seengels not to be confused with Sheengels is an a Show about dating, So far what I learned to be Blunt - for example if I like Porno just tell the girl that right away, I am unsure how I would react if my date would ask me to stop the car ask for Teeshoo and go Pee on the side of the road, Maroneami she was hot.......It was especially nice of GM to call me and invite me to his son's Engagement, I couldn't make it  The reason of course is I'm probably Anti-Social or Social Anxiety's But wish them a A lot A lot of Muhazeel...... Does it make sense that a Hot girl Messaged me by accident or their is no such thing as accidents?, She didn't respond......Pretty (old also) Israeli Expatriate girl never got back to me Waaaa.........After Texting with a girl from online for couple days, The Texting Suddenly stopped, She said " Ohh So Sorry I was sleeping. Passed out early, can we reschedule? So sorry"- Ill check my calender.......KH  once said  " A Ring with out a finger is like a fighter Jet with out a runway"........

Inappropriate,

     is using you're desert fork to eat you're entree, absolute in appropriate according to RAE is going to  other Peoples houses TWO weeks in a row, it's in the Shnooras for dummies........Its Fascinating to me Why Israelis Add an H to words that start with a vowel and drop the H on words that start with it . E.G:   H ighTech, H ookers, H indus, H ungry or go to H ell the reverse Hamerica, Hisrael, or Hunderwear, its addicting to speak like that.......I felt for a California Women who correctly picked the numbers for the Power ball when it was at 360 million big ones, She bought the ticket after the drawing closed and it went towards the next draw She Got ........

Suckerd

   back to re upping to jdate to read an Email from a Pretty Israeli Expatriate in her early 40s, She emailed me about my dating age range 28-53. I was flattered she got that far in my profile, She left me her # and said shes quitting Jdate. I left her a message..........How random is to get an email this time from a regular Israel girl also 40 "Hi, My Name is Rxxxxxx Laniado nice to meet you ".... Excitedly I emailed her back we have the same last name, but not related not that things like that haven't happen with some of my family. " If you're ever in Israel Lets get together" - Sure would be great..........Watching a lot of overweight people running the half marathon was inspiring but left me wondering should  people who run like that really  look like that? ......Shimon Persky To President Kennedy " Israel will not be the first country to Introduce Nuclear weapons to the Middle East". Yigal Alon  and  " It sure  hell's  won't be the second. Talk about Nuclear ambiguity........



.I 

The Consensus

Suggests that when you meet a girl from the internet that  A) nothing elaborate is planned and  B)you meet at a public place the reasoning behind this is if the date is going crappy Their is always an escape clause and for the latter is only applicable for the girl. Learning from Women specialist EEE I recalled his story of  him Meeting up with a young lady from the early days of AOL and embarking on a  long trip to Great Adventures, She Said he was Thrifty, Frugal, bad company and had A$$ breath, He said she was repulsive, Obnoxious, bad company and grossly overweight. In Short it was four and half  hour Nakaba or catastrophe. Praying Post Sabbath prayers that  she would cancel I got her Text  "Shavou Tov Hope you Planned Something good"- Me thinking im being accommodating by  traveling out to Queens Said Nope will do some local there and invoked  the First date rule . She vehemently disagreed, i Begged her to cancel she didn't take the bait and off to Queens.. With Heavy construction Navigation took me all over ditches and road blocks, and  with traffic took me over an hour to travel the 16.8 Miles. She insisted to go to Long Beach, but probably regretted it the way i was driving my lens was irritating me and their was major Squinting. It was fascinating to know why she gave her Dogs only Kosher Food  and Gd bless her she was especially confident, I on the other hand felt like Helen Keller  barely speaking, for sure not listening and seeing was forget it about it. Mercifully for the both of us it was over at 1:07 A:M , the moral of story is     People who live in glass houses shouldn't walk around naked.........NO Church on Sunday......

The Search and Rescue,

      Mission,  Has turned to search and Recover. The Epic Long Journey to find that great girl is vanishing. Donovan sang I Midas well and try and catch the wind  and i sign up for Plentyoffish.com.  With So many Girls emailing me at first I must say i was feeling like a Pig in Shit. Granted majority of the emails came from what they refer to as BBW ( Really Really Big Beautiful Women) Whose National Pastime is Cuddling ( dont know why fat chicks like to cuddle ). Is it Flattering? Yes to much handle? a very much yes, and having a BBW experience doesn't make me  an expert on the matter. I being of the fat nature of course is allowed to make fun of fat people in the same fashion as Black People can call  each other. Not Unless you have the ability to Hit and run The Selection is limited an do realize that US chosen People make up about 6.33% of the daters and of those 5.87% are Chosen By name only on the plentyofFish Site. It's been a week since I have gone fishing, and it looks like the Search an Recover mission will be abandoned as well. However not before meeting up with a Semi- lovely Jewish modern orthodox Girl That looks good in her distant and far photos in the Borough of Park, Oops i meant Queens, Now why would I trek out to Queens on a Saturday night for a date like this? To be continued.......

Like a Four Star

   
 
       general I try to plan and map out all case scenarios that revolve around the #2.... It is very difficult living a life that revolves around the toilet. The Planning and Mapping out situations has been especially burdensome to a point where i avoid scenes and going to places beyond #2 jurisdiction...... Taking Preemptive measures I made a pit stop at my parents for a quick deuce and headed to the Rubins for Sabbath Dinner. The Menu a Belligerent UA (uncle A), The "Salatim Shel Nava" ( Nava Salads), A cousin from Ramat Shlomo ( an E Jerusalem Neighborhood not named after shlomo baum ) Shirly, And   Dessert. The Atmosphere is always Electric, Dessertgate was Averted, only to be replaced by Ozerigate and  the questioning weather Daughter Shirley is a True Tzzadaket ( pious woman). The jury is still out on the latter. The Rubins always gracious, have yet to issue me a Summer Pass, but I'm Sure it's in the mail.......

WoW

 

 Woman of the Wall - Sparked Great controversy this week In Jerusalem East. Bus Loads of Haradie Youth clashed with Woman wishing to petition the lord on the first of the Month with prayers. No Holds barred at The Kotel as Chaos Erupted and the Retreating Woman were forced to be protected from the Madness and Wrath of the Haradie Youth who were incited and encouraged by their Leaders to "Bittul Torah" and riot.  Under no circumstances can this behavior be condoned, No matter how Provocative WoW may be. My humble Opinion believes  that the sanctity of the Kotel must be preserved  and that the Compromise for  WoW to pray by Robinson's Arch was and is a great solution to the crisis,further more that  wall is no less holier than the "kotel wall" as its basically an extension of it.  On the other hand  CM a leading figure of the modern orthodox liberal  movement  noted that  "51% of the population is women and their is no " Halachic" decree against  them wearing phylacteries, why wouldn't we celebrate their right to pray at the wall?" sounded very much like the founder of the Natl religious party Yosef Burg. We can agree to disagree the status of the Now Egalitarian Wall.......

Now here's a little story about something called the Pentecost.......

The countdown to the

Pentecost is here and with that goes that annual Story of the tablets. When G0d decided to hand out the 10 commandments he approached every other Nation before the Jews, one by one they turned Him down saying they can Abide by either the though shall not kill, or though shall not Steal etc..When he approached the Jews, they asked G0d is it Free, he of course replied yes, so they requested Two and hence the story of the Torah and Tablets..... R Meir Kahana Added an 11th commandment for the Jews Though shall melt.......

Queen Esther, Achashevroach,

 Haman, Persian Rugs The Shahs Was all in the air as I pulled in to the Manhaasat Mall after trekking the 27.2 Miles to  Tehran West. Naturally I was early and so was the PPPP (  P Persian princess pepper pot) I complimented her on resembling her photos and we sat for Drinks while waiting  to be seated. The date seemed more like an interview and I masked my cleavage watching by acting especially interested, perhaps a lil to  interested.  Now According to the Experts, If a Girl  Eats on a date and in some instances Eats a lot does that means she is Uninterested? I am uncertain which expert authored that Myth, But My Date tonight with the PPP sure gave that indication. On the other hand I always go into a date on Medium to Full stomach the reasoning being that I don't want to look like a Ravenous Animal. The conversation shifted to the always exciting and stimulating  topic of her dog, first the one that passed on and then the new one and she got a lil emotional, I countered with the always safe "There There" she knew i was joking. She gave me the traditional Double cheek Kiss and drove off, Nice car by the way........No Church on Sunday.........

NO BUTTS

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Hoping and Waiting

  for  a call back from a girl you really liked after a 24 hour period is like rooting for The football team You bet on to cover the spread where you need them to create a Turnover then score get the Two Point  conversion, recover the onside kick score again and convert the 2 point conversion, One would think Hopeless I think JOHN 3:16 ... With out informing A soul I went.On a covert Secret Mission to the Holy city of Deal to take out a girl, who I must say was everything as described only on Steroids, I felt like Moshe Dayan going in Disguise to meet The King of Morocco. With only a couple of Restaurant options one of which included the Kosher Shop Rite Experience The Venue was a place called 656 fortunately for me I have been their once before and knew to order the pasta as opposed to the Chicken or Steak, The last time i was in the holy city I developed Arthritis from Cutting my Dates Chicken. The conversation flowed like a mighty Stream and we were the last to leave almost. Some how Deer came up on the ride Home and i was sarcastically disappointed not to see any,but she may have thought i was serious and we drove a lil extra to "See Deer" - I just wanted Extra time to be honest, I'm Sure she was smart enough to figure that out. " Text me if you get lost " - Of course I did even though I didn't - She Recommended  the Local and that would probably influence my Decision forever on the Garden State Pkwy ....No Church on Sunday 

The Three Most Important,

Words uttered in Modern Jewish History " Har Habyit Beyadenu" ( in English 7   The Temple Mount is in our Hands) Happy Jerusalem Day to All of ISRAEL that includes those that wish to divide it........ I'm probably going to take a lot of flack for saying this, and I know Parents are always proud of their kids, but I am against when the kid praying in a Non kids minyan gets to say a part specifically the Shema and takes forever, "So what it's another two- three minutes"- I am subscriber to the concept of Torach Tzibur and will leave it at that.......While walking home on Friday I passed by a house, Where i heard someone cussing and screaming  at the Basketball game on TV, made me feel very Normal knowing that I heavens forbid would ever do something like that........JDisaster it's mercifully ending soon not that i haven't been getting hits it's just addicting and potential meetings with girls with out any immediate gratification or Future. The PP( Persian princess) and I are supposed to meet up Saturday Night,  but Their is a major BUT to this Date..........

Was a Hole in my Sock,

  a bad omen for the evening? Pondering weather to change them before my date with Sephlink girl, Laziness won over comfort and I headed to pick her up. Living on a very popular street it was impossible not to see people i knew. I  shrugged off the " Hey What are you doing here's" with the generic Hey what's up's,and turned away. Her Photo was great, but she was still cute, She Amuses herself almost as much as I do, and it was unclear weather i or she was making herself Laugh, but just like a win is a win laughter is laughter. The highlights of the night for her was taking home a giant green balloon from a private party at the restaurant, For me was running into Religious girl gone semi rogue at the next table with her date,seems like she was having fun, she confirmed it by texting me the next day. Was their chemistry? probably  Was their a spark? Nope - Our vast religious gasps were far too much to bridge, and the feedback was mutual No church on Sunday...... An Email brought me back to Jdate an exotic looking Persian with some back  I had emailed her and she was getting back to me Two Weeks later, she likes my name and that i am a mixed breed, and I liked............