one good thing

   About not being social is that I avoid taking the elevator with certain people and that  provides me with Seven flights of free exercise......According to the Experts Oracle and AM the right side on the Superbowl is Seattle, The Only bad follow up to that is Backgammon legend and Sports Gambling degenerate Falafel loves Seattle too.....A follow up study to M+Ms I purchases a pack of Atkins indulge style M+Ms  in a 110 calorie bag Their were 37 m+mI (orange 6. red 5, green 11, brown 5, Yellow 8 and Blue 2) roughly 2.9729 calories per One m+mI as opposed to the 4.25 calories in a regular M+M. What we learn from this study is that Some people have way to much free time on their hands.......After a real nice conversation with OG I just text her that I did not forgot to wish her a " Have the best day" and kept the exchanges minimal. I'm going with the Munster Plan of Limited Text. See you Saturday night..........

After Two

*

       dates it is unclear weather Their is a need to explain to CG, why were probably not a good match . I don't want to go through the routine of telling her " She's terrific, Sweet and a great girl"....But... Because as a veteran of hearing that line, it's not necessary. It only sucks when someone is indifferent to someone else's upbeat Texts Though....... A different approach, OG ( Optometrestic girl) corresponded for over 40 Email Exchanges, before i was able to clinch the magic number. Seems a tedious process in courtship, but it has been Exciting, and making me look forward to watch she writes next. A little old fashioned, but I will not go the Text route......... Moving onto the Hard wood, that doesn't sound right but were talking hoops. A very winnable game slipped out of our grasp as we couldn't score down the stretch and succumbed to Team JB. Foreseeing match up problems i argued for zone over man, but was out voted. In a seesaw back and forth first half- Mooch was carrying the scoring load,  BB breaking down the Defense, setting us for Easy Shots that simply didn't fall, and when they switched to a zone we got easier shots that simply didn't fall, and we were fortunate to go to the locker room down Two, They were fortunate to go into the locker room NOT down 15. Despite our match up problems we stayed in the man for the second half.  The 2nd half  saw several lead changes, with us again not being able to capitalize on chip Shots, One of the fan's in stands equated it  "to not being able to score in a whorehouse with a fistful of fifties" . The Defense was active, and our rebounding kept us in the game. Down the Stretch Captain Mooch developed Herzlities  and Went Ice cold, and the coffin was nailed when we got beat on a bomb pressuring, me being the culprit Via the help. It caused another minor meltdown of an alleged punting the ball incident, leaving us with a second straight loss  and  in peril of qualifying for postseason play.......

Stand And Deliver.....

Qb Qb

      The Great story of East LA Math teacher Jaime Escalante ,taking a bunch of underprivileged, Ethnic, and Labeled Thuggish students and taps into their potential and get's them to pass AP calculus courses, Is being relived out today, not in Mathematics but rather in Hoops.  DE School, a school composed of "undesirable" kids hailing mainly from the Arabian peninsula. That Grew up Hurling stones, and reading the Torah, not even knowing what a Basketball was..... In walks in Coach DM, basically to what is labeled the worst job in the Yeshiva Basketball league, and with an abundance of patience and understanding teaches these kids not only to play,unites them in an oasis of brotherhood, and most importantly to believe they can win. DM had a dream that Halabi(Aleppo) kids would be leading the break while Shami( Damascus) kids finish . Where kamish lee kids ( mountains) would be rotating defensively to cover for Egyptians.kids. Having gone from worst to a Strong contender and beating on some of the leagues Heavy weights The Basketball ending has yet to be written but win lose or draw. In QB humble Opinion They Already won. A Truly heartfelt, uplifting, Water Shedding Story... and the Oscar goes too..........

Annoyed

     a little or maybe a lot at the city for closing down Broadway and not allowing people to park on side streets during SB Week - Why do they infringe on the common folk rights?- I'm already asked the modern day Choni Ha Menegle or rainmaker  to work his magic as he did so many times on the Syrian folk in deal during the summer........Losing steam in wanting to meet up with OG( optometristic girl) we are at 33 exchanges and It's losing momentum. It has never went beyond 3 or 4 emails before getting a girls number and that's with suggesting she give it me, rather than asking for it......... Emulating UNC coaching legend Dean Smith .I have employed the " four corners" Style  Offensive regarding CG( construction girl ), which basically means Stall and Stall and not shoot, That way their are no hard feelings.........I promise to Quit this time for sure.........

Striking the iron

While it's Hot .COS( church on Sunday) was Thursday night. Leaving Extra early out to Long Beach, I got their with plenty of time to spare. I know She liked me cause she laughed at all my jokes, was receptive to the immaturity, and hardly ate. Her Resume was especially Impressive, Being the primary care taker for her elder Grandfather as a teen, a former Tennis prodigy, is adept at fixing and putting things together, Tech Savvy, fantastic Survivor skills, Drives a stick Shift and knows cars, an was blown away not that way ,that she had a Gun collection and was an expert shooter. The last time I felt this emasculated was when i watched the movie Notebook to impress a girl. She's  Soft spoken, seems to be good natured. appreciates my immaturity, and loves sports. So What's wrong?............ Can I be this Shallow?........Netanyahou was most impressive at Davos today proclaiming " I Will Not Evict Israelis from the Jordan Valley" I hope it wont turn out out like  Olmert " Jerusalem I swear"   or Sharon's " Fate of Netazrim- fate of Tel Aviv"  Moment



   reader Leah A. Zazel submits look a likes Super freak Rick James and Seattle DB Richard Sherman

Ding, Dong

 The Witch is Dead ?  Shulamit Helen Roper Aloni  Activist  for Palestinian causes, and Human rights advocate at the expense of  the lives of Her fellow Citizens Went to her world at 86. The Great Sage Ovadia Yosef proclaimed that when she died  a "Feast should be held" Sadly He passed before her, They Did share some Happy times Sitting in the 92 OSLO Rabin Government....Shimon Peres must be ......The correspondence has reached 22 with the Pretty optometrestic girl. It's been intriguing and I wait to hear what she'll write next- The last Five digits of the Impossible dream; her number  Should be reached sometime in March.........

Some Fear

 The Recent Storms in the city are only a prelude to what the next four Years of the De'Blassio Era will be like....Scary...... Around 9 months ago, nope not;  that but I was talking to this girl online we lost contact,  I  randomly Emailed  her, the conversation jumped to Text and after Marsha's Laryngitis forced her to cancel, which i was kind of grateful We decided to meet up the same night. No Traffic on The Belt, made me early, coupled with her "about 8:30" ( 6 minutes + -) made me very early. She was soft spoken and apologetic.   some good random generic conversation, got exciting sort of when she spoke of girls night and sleep overs - My Mind and possibly other Body parts went somewhere else, But it was just my Imagination. She resembled her photos and looked pretty was sweet,  and except for being a soft talker she exceeded my expectations. Ex's came up, and their was a slight pause when she asked if i was over mine; " yeah absolutely"...... COS( church on Sunday) Yup Sure We can try again..............

In A Hostage or other Situation

 They say it's always good to maintain a line of communication at all times with the belligerent. A really pretty optometrist emails regarding one of my photos. Thirteen Emails later I still have her responding and invoked my Dream in true MLK form that her digits appeared in my Inbox. The dream has not come into fruition, But she's responsive in all fairness though less and less lines......Group chats can get a little dicey and down out mean spirited, But to all parties involved their is always the safety that No real levity is intended or maybe there is when someone tells someone " they are a loser. Suck in life, and should die"....... A noted comedian on what he did to observe MLK day Watch Black porn of course...........Operation Magic carpet was relived in this weeks Torah Portion Exodus 19:4 .........and how I bore you on eagles’ wings and brought you to myself. The famous Alaskan Airlines airlift of over fifty thousand Yemenite Jews who never saw an airplane in their lives, believed they were living out this prophecy........

Laryngitis

 What is when you can't speak? After speaking to a girl on line who thought i was funny. We scheduled to meet up on MLK day somewhere's near the Upper East Side. I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation especially with the fact that She made me feel as if I know what the hell she was talking about.  In Wuss like Fashion I text to confirm, She called telling me she is traveling Wednesday and has Laryngitis and didn't want to get me sick, but would love to postpone. I thanked her for her altruism, Wished her speedy recovery, and offered to pray for her. "Huh" never mind  " Have Great trip feel much more better" She insisted on a rescheduling date, but I told her i was concerned about her voice- Super Bowl Sunday Sometime I'm sure it will work out this time............

Where is the Strangest place

**** Disclaimer contains some unsuitable language ****

 you had ......to go Number Two? Me and my Father were discussing number Two and Poking fun at my Sister's Husband for being very Pharaoh like with his Bowel Movements. I again applauded my Dad for being able to go just about anywhere " Is the Alternative better"?, and of course as someone who has been in the military no doubt their were some uncomfortable places. Prior to knowing I was lactose intolerant some memorable places for me were at a Strip club in Vegas in 95, The Dekalb Ave Station also in the mid 90's.  After The Shaari Zion Right before Kol Nidre, and the W hotel on a date  i was sweating profusely. QB offers valuable advice should you have an accident driving  " Drive on one A$$ cheek so it doesn't seep through the seats"......... I have to speak to my dad about "TowelGate"......

Syrian Etiquette

      Open up a new account for someone, give him/her  guidance on how much to charge, not ask for  commission or even gratitude. Then watch the Same guy/girl  charge you a higher price for an item that he sells to the same people you hooked him up with, and the audacity to be paid in C#@H, and then hear him or her sing the Lord's praises on How Wonderful Hashem is. Not to sound blasphemous but Ein Od Melvado My....... This to me is even worse than the SY rounding off Policy I.E. $551 = $500  or Someone owing you $600, but stiffs you cause he needs to have Beef on his Rosh Hashana table......The doomed Trek of the "Lamed He" 66 years ago today..... "Please don't turn this into a mockery" Regretfully I used a poor choice of words comparing how sad we looked  at our game to the waiting room at Sloan Kettering. Their was no malice or levity intended and we take full responsibility for the comparison and would like to apologize for inflicting and causing any Hurt,Harm or injustice

What the FOG

  What the FOG........It's probably fitting that I am having a writers Block trying to recap our dismal and abysmal performance in week 2 of the XBL. The Opening Tip pretty much summed up the game We Weren't ready, We were out of position, we gave up an open lay up and the flood gates opened  up from there. The Turnovers, The forced Shots, The Failure to get back on Defense, Lackadaisical effort to cover shooters, We looked sadder than the people in the waiting room of Sloan Kettering. Uncharacteristically, I had a couple of chances for some hard fouls, But I think i have gotten soft. The Second half Opened up very much like the first Two Open Layups and a Three, Which led me to having a minor Meltdown, and notifying the Referee That we Quit and won't be finishing the game, I may have slightly moved the bench in the process. DA and Herzl led a minor resurgence that saw us cut the lead to Eleven, but by that point the tank was out of gas. I had a minor outburst at Herzl. after instructing him to show out on a screen, I criticized him for leaving the Paint which resulted in defensive gaff. So I would like to apologize to Herzl for causing any  Hurt, harm or injustice..........

MAKE THAT 0-7

    in the last UES dates or meeting. It's amazing how different people are when they actually speak rather than text. OG ( Optician girl) whom will call MARSHA Text me that the venue she chose their was 45 minute wait. The  Obscure Cuban Restaurant was the next viable option, it was closest. Noticing right away She had a penchant for talking extraordinary loud, I began dominating the conversation the  problem with that She was laughing and That made her talking look like a Sunday school teacher, That HA followed by an outburst of crackling.  She ordered something with a tun of onions and a lot of garlic " I Guess were not gonna make out then". An Entertaining 57 Minutes at best of which I did not learn anything....... A Couple of Israelis I have been doing Business with gave me this girl's number I got the whole Israeli Schick  of how they know her and shes expecting my call, I'm gonna call...............

Someone

   complained to me that my My father " Used 8 Towels in 1  Hour, Touched 2 With Sweat, Wasted 6, 3 left on machines and 5 put backs in the Bin"  I'm Posed with the dilemma weather its disrespectful or not to confront him about the Severity of the Towel situation...........It is only the Opinion of this Humble blog that Boning Hookers Even with socks on is A lot better  than  Putting people through hours of Traffic?........ RIP Ariel Sharon  decorated soldier, brilliant field commander, one time champion of Land of Israel who had his George H Bush " read my lips no new taxes" moment  when he boldly proclaimed that " the Fate of  Netarizim is the  fate of Tel Aviv"  then expelled its inhabitants........I am Mildly Optomertstic meeting up with OG( optometrist girl) The Venue Somewhere on the UES, the area hasn't been kind to me as i am 0 for my last 6 dates in that region .........

Not Sure

what can come out  of this but Online, a really pretty Thirty one Year Single mom of Two from California was very complimentary towards me, She even liked my Some of my photos. A Pretty and Reform Optometristic from Manhattan Emails me " That she wants to play backgammon" (a reference to one of my photos) " what are the stakes"? Barring any natural disaster ( girls having to wash their hair counts as one ) See you Sunday.......Happy 101 to  #37 the president that help avert the Destruction of the Third Temple. Who is Richard Nixon?....... Anyone wishing to make Forty Dollars on Sunday 4:30 AM Please contact EEE...........

Maybe her Phone

is still AWOL?. Since our discussion abruptly ended over "Sauce" I have yet to hear from The girl that my friend set me up with. What's a lil weird we spoke today and her name did not come up once....Ohh Well no Church period....... THE SEARCH IS OVER -Coming to a Modus Vivendi me and HM joined forces to play in Basketball Leagues yet again . Putting our differences for the good of youth, HM recruiting a different kind of team, A Smarter, more energetic, and Zionist Team led by All Shaari Center Yossi "Hertzel" Gindi. Jumping out to a 10 -0 Lead against Team Zool, "BallGate" Struck again they called Time and refuse to get back on the court until we changed balls. Thanks to timely Shooting by HM and Stellar play by BB we maintained a comfortable advantage going into the half. The collapse was imminent, we started forcing and turning over the ball and when the lead was cut to A single point. HM looked off a defender to bury a critical Three. Thanks to Herzl's  Help D we stopped them  on the next few possessions and won the game going away.

The Blizzard

 is over So the Three to four minute conversation filler is out of the question now. Their was no phone call to my Friends Friend, Well there was but turns out her Phone is AWOL, Had this not been a friend I knew setting me Up I would  guess she was washing her Hair. Thanks to Social media I Messaged her.Attempting to act cool or dark I mentioned that I was off the "Sauce" for  Seven years - She didn't know what the Sauce was the Joke didn't go to well. We spoke for a lil, and then She stopped replying According to  the rules it's her turn so I'll wait, Bummer this week was also good week to go out, cause their is really no parking so I wouldn't have to go through the go to the house routine....... Alan Dershowitz tells of his first meeting with Benjamin Nothingyahou after his Election victory in 1996. BiBi curiously asked just between us   " Did OJ really do it"? In true Lawyer Form Dershowitz  replied " Does Israel Really have Nuclear weapons"?.......

MindBogglig that

    for 40 Years of my life I have been standing up to Urinate.So after Roughly 43,800  give or take a couple thousand Urinations. It is something that one should be able to do with his eyes shut, a Slam dunk. Why am I still peeing all over the floor when I urinate in the dark It's been bothering the hell out of me.......Under a tun of duress and not being able to say no I " agreed" to play in leagues again on team QB. HM the captain promised me He will be searching feverishly for a replacement player for me very much like OJ was Searching for the Real Killers........In a moment of Weakness  I resigned up for Jdate.  I couldn't resist not taking the bait and had to respond to a couple of messages. One girl Ignores my response and one  we have an intense text session of course not the intense you may be thinking, but more so Way of life, How many kids, style conversation. Deciding to hit the  iron while it's hot we met up at a very Quiet Russian Lounge in Sheepshead bay. She was Seven Minutes late, Which Belied her Very thorough Personality.  She made an Effort to look good and Resembled her photos, Our conversation for the most part was just That, and early on I Realized that I am not really the right guy for her and she's not for me, The Fetish part had nothing to do with it of course.  The Date got extended a lil cause of the wall that was obstructing my view to ask for the check. We cordially lied to each other that it was fun, and Get home Safes..... NCOS...........




 

The Only

   Positive thing about the upcoming snow Blizzard is that it makes for at least three to four minutes of conversation filler with the Girl I need to call......The Palestinian ambassador to the Czech Republic Died when the " Safe" in his residence Exploded. Daniel Seaman Tweeted " Guess,You can say the Ambassador died of Natural causes".The Israeli left was up in Arms ( no pun intended) Funny they found Weapons and explosives at his home to field a 10 man Guerrilla operation team.An Exploding Safe??......A Flirt, and Email, and a click I am not sure if g0d is sending me a message to resign up for Jdate to reply  All pretty cute By the way....... Not starting off the year on the right foot I've been over using my  terminal in-exactitude Exemptions. Still better than being rude A white lie here and there never hurt anybody.........

Strength, Strength,

 and Strengthisize .........Summing up 2013 was listening to Metallica's Fade to black " I have lost the will to live, Simply nothing more to give, Their is nothing more me, need the end to set me free" - A Lil dark for me haha-  but  yet profound.......Everyone or at least I do Lie about their NYE  plans, "I had this house party to go to. or singles party in the city, or Hang out with relatives blablabla" trying to be happening. I Chose to meet a friend and perhaps some of her friends. In a scene reminiscent to the Seinfeld Chinese restaurant, We were told Fifteen Minutes, after 42 min 07 Seconds wait  and yet more people " with reservations" getting seated, we stormed out. It Fell on the deaf ears of the hostess that we would take the table of four and order for four in order to be seated. We settled in Take out and I may have a potential date with one of her friends........

The Really cute

Waitress at the Sheepshead bay Establishment confirmed that Jim McKay's  Dad was right my worst fears weren't confirmed. None the less me and the Israeli girl who happened to be in town had a decent conversation and I  Drove her to the OHEL to pray by the Lubavitche Rebbe, because I always wished someone would do that for me when I was In Israel ( metaphorically speaking of course). Their is a short list of people whom I always pray for, (Except I forgot her Mother's name) and of course the Jets, But I think that's frivolous prayer after all it is the Jets.....Shimon Heres say's no more resolutions, only Solutions Maybe except Road rage and Line range....." A New King has Risen, That did Not Who Joseph was", Will the D'blassio Era mean the down fall of the Empire State? So much for being Optometrisitic.............