My father,

 is 60 miles away and I am still scared not to go to shul. It was pouring Friday night, and as u can tell I am not too religious, so skipping shul didn't seem outrageous, but i went and got soaked.......... A guy that used to work for me and went back to Turkey Emailed me the other day- "I saw u the other day in my dream. U were commiting suicide. U OK man"- I found it funny and replied  "SAAALLAM WAAALAKIM U RACHMAT ASOO U BERACHAT - I AM WRITING THIS EMAIL FROM HEAVEN MASHALLA MASHALLA GOOD WEATHER ALLAH GIVES US AIRCONDITIONG UP HERE - AND I GOT MY 72 VIRIGINS BIG BEREAST - THEY HAVE IPHONE 10 HERE AND SOON WERE GETTING THE IPHONE11 - I SAW YOURE FRIEND IMAM HAKAN ERBACKAN HE HAS EXTRA VIRIGINS MASHALLA MASHALLA -ALLAH ASKED ME TO ASK U WHEN U GOING FOR HAJII AND GONNA BECOME INSANELY RADICAL - HOW COME U DIDNT GO WITH IHH ON FLOTILLA TO TEL AVIV - AND ALSO THERE IS A BIG VIDEO ROOM HERE SO WE SEE WHEN U EATING IN THE BASEMENET  ON RAMAZAN KAREEM SO BE CAREFUL ALLAH SEES EVERYTHING MAN "....... My life insurance agent if she were a reader wouldn't find this Post amusing...............