The Good Fortune

    of sitting next to my Uncle (UA) in shul this morning, i especially enjoyed  his overly loud coughs and throat clears, but when he blew his nose, it was amusing to see him check out his tissue, My dad does the same thing, So it must be hereditary.  I don't know why they gave me an Alliyah, it cost me $101 and of course the "Inshalla get Married this year" Blessing from the Reader, and the rest of the Shul crowd, it's getting a little embarrassing ..........What I got for Hanukkah an framed autographed Larry Bird Photo, and a Alexander Haig autographed photo and book.........Submitted by a reader look a likes  l 
Israeli vile Leftist politician Shulamit Aloni and Helen Roper...................

Reprinted, with Special Permission

 from Danmiz.com
7/25/11 (5:30PM) Here is a letter that an anonymous person asked me to post on the site.

This is an open letter to all the girls of the greater Sephardic community between the ages of 28-37.

 As the jewels of the Female Species in the Continental USA and the world, I plead and implore that you do hold the line and don't give in and ever settle for a guy that is short of you're standards. Now, I am aware that these standards maybe just a tad high. That the guy must be good looking, in great shape, wealthy and while were at it let's throw in “he comes from great family”, would cater to every whim and need of yours, funny, smart, and what the heck why not also go shoes shopping with you. Settlements my dear girls are only acceptable to us the Jewish people in the lands of forefathers where the Kingdom Of Judah once reigned. Places like Eli, Itamar, Efrat and Shiloh though they maybe referred to as settlements. To us, they are indispensable parts of the greater Land of Israel. I do apologize that you're dream guy may have gotten away, be it the star QB, or banker or real estate mogul's son, but stay positive! We the Jewish people have waited 2000 years in the Diaspora to return to the land God has given us as it is written in Genesis "to you (Abraham) I will give this land". And these promises are being fulfilled every day in the form of "Shevat Zion". Remember that "us guys" also dream and aspire to be with mediocre looking girls who are bossy, demanding, have great expectations, and seldom put out, but the "us guys” are a settlement. This world is inhabited by great guys and unlike heaven where our fellow cousins whom are promised paradise and 72 virgins in return for "martyrdom"- the Virgins have run out- OK maybe only the really hot ones that they are promised ran out, but that great guy is here somewhere. When the doctors showed Jimmy Valvano the x-ray on his back, it was all black and indicated cancer. Valvano told him "doc you forgot to use the flash"- But he never gave up and urged everyone "to never give up". My message to you  "Don't Dream, Be The Dream.......... 

90% of the Exit Polls,

 are in, and it looks like a winner has been declared, Not unless I have a "Dewey Defeats Truman" Moment, Due I have any chance With RE girl. I think Texts Say a lot more than what they read and when you get back cordial after you send formal, meaning you send something nice and she sends back an OK or :-). To quote the Moronic Roger Toussant* "Tings Do Not Loook Goood " contrary to what some may think  I will NOT be Jumping off the Willis Ave Bridge...... With That I rejoined Online dating yup again, and can't understand why someone would Flirt or email me and then not respond when I email  them back, Again they Message or Email me first so I don't get it............Lynne Samuels the Obnoxious, Loud mouth, Progressive, Radio Host Passed away last week, Her distinguished voice and accent made her listenable,despite her views  being vile........


*MTA Boss who Decided to strike on Xmas week of 07

How Many Syrian Girls,

 Know what the Ari Halberstam Memorial Ramp is?.........   The Story of  Radical Haredeim who spat on an 8 year old girl in Beit Shemesh, Israel, for dressing Immodestly, has not only gone Viral, but has been a top featured story on all world press. I likened the Haredey community to the Taliban, This whole woman in the back of the Bus Business is Nutz... From a Nov 24 2010 post -.................Israel 2010- Hareedem have segregated buses   Women sit in the back, who will be the Hareedy version of  "Claudette Colvin" ? ( she was the original black girl that stood up and wouldn't move to the back ahead of Rosa Parks)of the Hareedy women

Rain Would Make it Perfect,

it always rains during execution......  Feeling like a 16 Seed Getting into the NCAAs, to play the #1 Seed, There was Excitement to make it to the "big Dance", I went into tonight's Date with RE girl, Fully expecting to hear the "We can be Friends" soliloquy, and The Heavy rains made that setting perfect. My Car Reeked of Cologne As I  really over did it worse than the  banana Boats. We Went to the place where I had my car Towed, She was fun, Relaxed, tired, and looked great. We Spoke about pretty much nothing, and the only way I impressed her was by trying her fishy Sushi, I did say a prayer before i ate it, Wasn't a Berecha but the "El Malea Rachameim" Just in case   I brought up the conflict of Interest, Just to let her know that I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, she seemed indifferent to the situation and didn't answer really. I dropped her off by her cousins engagement party, She cordially invited me, I respectfully declined. The Good news is  I think i have a better understanding as to what's going on, The Bad news is I think i have a better understanding as to what's going on...........

Kyrie Elesion,

was the first thing that came out of my mouth  ( of course that meaning  lord have mercy) when i saw RE girl. She looked beautiful, Smelled great and on time. Timid at first, I started feeding off her Giant personality and in under two minutes was loose, But still had a lot of questions in my mind. I told her I was very Appreciative of all her help regarding a deal we were working and made sure to accentuate to her that I got her something as a Token of my appreciation for her help, and rather cause I would be trying to overwhelm her. We Went for Dinner and nothing Stalled there was always something to talk about. She taught me fashion and real estate I reciprocated with Sports,and politics. I'd say we got along great, which had a lot to do with her Personality. According to Schedule I first gave her a Rehashed Gift basket I got from my Salesman,( i added some chocolate but she knew it was rehashed)  Then a Giant Calculator ( she didn't have one when i first met her ) Then  some "Chachkis" ( Syrian word for junk)  from Gideons and a small Gift card- She was extraordinarily Thankful  and very appreciative of the gesture. There will be Church on Sunday, only on Tuesday

What the

 Hell happened to Kwanzaa again this year ??......A tough question to the female readers would they want to be the "picture" of a revolution even if they had hairy arm pits            Getting advice with for my planned "meeting up" with RE Girl is confusing. The One thing I am certain about is That I have to take her to a restaurant that has good Bathrooms, and that is due to the Weekend I am having. I met up with a friend at a cafe and had to go- go-  number two-  times. Of course I lied and said it was number one, But you're thinking the other person is thinking you went for Number Two. Due to that reasoning a Place that has good bathrooms is definite on the agenda Just as a precaution....

Church on Sunday,

Was a term  I  Borrowed  from the Robert Duval Movie the Apostle. In The Movie Congregants were building a new Church, and were finally Excited of the prospects of having "Church on Sunday"- and something great happening.  In Moronic Fashion I started Utilizing this Phrase, after First dates, Should there be Church on Sunday Then there will be a following date. Since that's by far the most featured phrase in this blog, I felt i needed to elaborate as to what it means.........I really want to quit the "Running" Business, I was convinced by a friend that it can have really bad consequences, The problem again I can't say No. My Navigation failed me this morning  during my "Run"  I wind up getting lost in North Jersey for over an hour.  Mission accomplished though......DC Weekend was canceled There was no way I could have made it there before the Sabbath.....

The Trip to.

 Our Nations Capital  this weekend is still on hold, Should i renege, it will be the 4th thing i have changed my mind on  this week, and feel real guilty about, It's not a good week for my mind......" You don't look too bad, you can use another one" 27 years ago today The Bernard Goetz Shooting......The Turkish  "Zero problem"  foreign policy seems to be working out great, First Israel, Greek Cyprus, Armenia, Syria, and now France who just passed  the Armenian Genocide Denial Bill in Lower house. It's Nice to see two Hostile countries to the Jewish State fighting......I was scheduled for a pick up, But the guy Can't meet me tonight cause He's celebrating Hanukah, nice to see religion take precedent in the Scumbag Business..... 

My Sister

         gave me Advice " I know you have no balls, so whenever you get involved in something that's not good for you (i.e.relationships, Business etc..) Just Lie. I committed myself verbally to partner up with two people that I do not really know in an apartment investment. RE girl did all my homework for me and concluded it was a sound investment, pending the partners- I Reneged on the deal last minute, I was convinced it was too complicated.....I was buzzing at  every store i went in to today, cause The Security tag in my new jacket was never removed, I felt like a shoplifter, and proceeded to show every store clerk my bag and empty pockets to disprove that......My Mom Has been really really nice to me lately, I'm not liking it at all, and would love to know what's going on..........

Tap or Bottled

Water? Believe it or not and I was in the not camp, On a date that can matter. I always order Tap Water, cause Former Poker player David Grey Told me that the water is filtered anyways. Some Girls from the community that rhymes with Myrrian, May see You as frugal, ohh no, Another stupid thing to think about.........A Special Thanks to Weightlifting Champ DS for now  teaching me to Do Sit ups "Standing on One Foot"- Meaning the Way of The Great "Hillel Ha Zaken".......I had winners in Pick up Basketball at the center with some kids I used to coach, One of the Kids tried to waive me before the game even started, I Wind up playing and fighting with half the guys on my team, they took Objection to me telling them to fight through screens instead of ducking them amongst other things...... There maybe a Trip to our nations Capital this Weekend Stay Tuned.............

Too Be Cold,

Too Look Hot is a great Sacrifice girls take upon themselves when they go out, and my complements would go out to Sephlink girl tonight for that. I Remembered the House, as mentioned before I did go out with her sister a couple years ago. The conversation was as expected, i asked the questions and got back the short answers, clearly she was uninterested, but i tried to make it fun, which wasn't working. One of the only time  she laughed was when My Chair at the restaurant made a Fart noise that really sounded like one, I was contemplating telling her it was the chair, but just passed cause it didn't even matter. Another thing to labeled   in the world of Sy girls. We spoke Carpets, The Feud, Calories, the Gym and people watching. She laughed when i told her the last girl i went out with that liked people watching, That i was the only People she didn't like watching. No Traffic on the ride home no church on Sunday........ Ding Dong Kim Jong il is Dead..........

Subtle Hints,

Were not going anywhere in my attempts to Flirt with RE* Girl, and with that the  "Operation Nixon " Mission is aborted. There is a definite  Interest But unfortunately it's not the interest I was hoping, I am interested in Her, and she is Interested in doing her Job and making Money Which is  fair. She has been Very helpful on the Business End of things...... No pressure with Seplink Girl, after all it is a Sunday Night (its a wild card night)  Date Ill give her Options as where's to go......For the Second Year in a row I attended The "Flotilla" Birthday of my great Turkish Friend  Looloo, We caught up a little bit, I didn't want her to feel like she needed to entertain me, Due to the fact that I couldn't really speak to anyone but her, so i left pretty early. There was a big crowd there and they were mostly CHP ( the Turkish Peoples republic party- the non radical one).....I Saw Morris "Truck, Dinkins, Mubarak" Dweck at the center, for the first time since his abrupt dismissal as Coach of Magen David. "What Happened "? " Basically they called me on the last day of school last year, and said some kids wont be coming to the school if i were still coach- You're Fired"..Classy Freddy Blassie

My Sister in Law,

Lied to me when she said she bought tickets in advance to the Hebrew Party. We met up in front of the place and went in after a Ten minute wait. The Place was packed and what annoyed me was not the fact That I cant dance or have any confidence to hit on girls in a club setting, But That the dance floor covered the whole floor so it was nearly impossible to get to the bar, or walk across( holding a drink is almost mandatory cause that way it looks like you have something going on).  SIL* insisted that a girl was trying to get my attention " how so"?- She was taking pictures of her friend right near you, She came to sit right near you, She "accidentally" flicked you - and she was smiling at you - Call me Ishmael But I didn't notice. To get our Moneys worth we stayed almost Two Hours, The Highlight of the night was when I saw someone I knew with a friend of his that was a girl - She told me to "Stick my Finger here"- but  it was under her jacket sleeve to show me how her coat connected to her sleeve........
*sister in law

In 1973 Norm

Sloan guided his NC state Wolf pack team to a 27-0 Record, In Chapel Hill They Responded "Can You Imagine what Dean Smith would have done with that Team".... Most People don't understand the point, But In Coaching especially the Lower level ,where kids can dominate based on there size and strength and not Skill The Wins and Losses are not as important as the Fundamentals and playing the right way. A trained  Monkey can coach a team that its bigger and stronger and go undefeated at that level, and then be heralded as a great Coach..........My Sister in law, Suggested I go with her and my brother to a Dor Chadash Hanukkah party, I could have just said NO, but of course I didn't-  I am being a douche bag about going, But I'll go............

In 1954,

Danny Biasone was credited for saving Professional Basketball, by lobbying strongly for a 24 second Shot clock. It's Time for NBA entertainment to be saved again, and let's Please emphasize the Game....... Last week there was some confusion with me calling Sephlink girl, We Spoke for around Fifteen Minutes, She sounded real nice, Maybe she really  doesn't know what I look like you, See you on Sunday.........Shas Mk Nissim Zeev Proposed, that Religious IDF soldiers whom don't want to walk out on a woman singing in an IDF Sanctioned Ceremonies and events, Get them Ear Plugs- The only Question Will the Rabbinate or the Army pay for the Ear- Plugs?.... Another note on Israel, the Settler Movement attack on an Army Base, was Reprehensible, Jews attacking Jews, Inexcusable. Shame on them..........

To Be a Hot Girl,

        is by probably the greatest thing in the world to be . A Special announcement in shul   "We are collecting for a woman with Nine Kids, She needs our help" - No doubt a worthy cause, But MaroneAmi for a middle aged woman who knocked out Nine Kids, She was Hot, Every one gave......Another Two Minutes with The RE Agent and that Apt would have been hers........... A great idea by a Chicago Strip Club- Lap Dances for the Needy http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/chicago-strip-club-offers-free-lap-dances-toy-donations....... I was playing 20 Questions with my Niece - some of the clues that came up in the  "person, Place or thing" Game - Ahmad Chalabi, Gehenom, Menachem Begin, Sour Sticks and Hacham Hillel .......... Netanyahou......... What is the new "N" Word in the Obama Cabinet?...........

White Lies and,

Transfers don't suit me too well, But I must say i am getting really, really good at them. My Problem in a nut shell is ONLINE dating, I am receptive to any email I get, just cause i am can't say no ( for the record there aren't a lot of these), The problem is when the girls suggests on meeting up, I'm always ok with it, then 24 hours or so before I make up an excuse as to why I can't meet up, It's usually the going to Philly excuse. This is why I quit Plentyoffish as most girls have no future potential and I suck at just Hooking up its called a horrible conscience..... Me and Panama had a misunderstanding, She asked me Why I backed off?, Cause No Response = Negative Response, She disagreed, we parted on good terms exchanging numbers and emails- But She stressed "She doesn't need anymore friends"- I said I have enough also ( I lied again)......The complex Scheme of Operation Nixon was called off for now, I can't  discuss the covert operation here just yet, but promise to reveal all the details in later post........

No matter what the People say,

 Army- Navy By far is the greatest and most special Rivalry.... Some would argue Red Sox-Yankees, Celtic- Lakers , Halaby-Shami , but the Army- Navy Game is not only a great day for the Armed forces, but for Patriotism and America - It will never cease to be Special ... I find it very weird that the Yellow Chabad flag terribly resembles the Flag of Hezbollah....Panama texted right before Shabbat, "Shabbat Shalom, hope to see you before I go"- Huh??......I felt like #37 Richard Nixon the other night, Scheming to see if a "certain" girl would go out with  me "- I was getting a lot of conflicting advice- but will have to wait till next post to see what's up. Vegas has me at 18-1 Strange things do happen sometimes..........

Imagine

Mark David Chapman Didn't assassinate John Lennon 31 Years ago today........ I got caught up in a conversation with POF girl, last night, she started talking about having to go to her Lesbian friends wedding,and that led to the endless questions, which by that time I didn't realize it was too late to call Sephlink Girl. I didn't call Sephlink girl again tonight either.......After being forwarded a listing in my building for a well above asking price I decided to see if I should list my Apartment. When I met the agent I was amazed how pretty she was, I told her I am not the Best seller, cause I don't really need the Money, and win lose or draw, i don't want to lose money, and kept thinking  How wrong would it be if I asked her out?  I didn't......yet,  Though I doubt  shell say yes, it will under NO circumstances effect the business relationship........

For the Last time,

I will Refute any connection that I had in the firing of JB . An anonymous source suggested  (which is true by the way ) that this was the first time in 20 + years that A coach at MDY was dismissed during the season, and  that the last time this  happened was when I, yours truly was a player on the team. We were playing at Flatbush and getting hammered, Our coach with already two Technicals wasn't thrown out, cause we had no one to take over, Except for my Mother. Early Third quarter The Coach Explodes and needs to be separated from the Ref, Escorted out of the Gym - the only adult we had at the game was Rena my mother, and the jerkoffs at Flatbush insisted we finish the game so the scrubs on there 24 man roster can get in for some extensive Garbage time.  Although she put me back in the game, this was not a hatched up scheme to get The coach fired, and Rena never came to another game. As far as Im concerned this situation is over and I do this to stay close to G0d...........

Irving Shnepps,

 taught us the valuable lesson of Business " We Are not Here to make Friends, We are here to make Money"........There was an Independent study as to "how much a girl is into you"-When you go to give her a kiss on a cheek depending on how much she turns her neck, That's how much she is not into you........My Agent called me with a New Number- " the girl was looking for someone Younger", She said she used her great sales skills, Looking forward to a great date, OH, I forgot to mention I took out her sister a couple years ago, At least will have conversation...........A Day that will in Infamy,

 Its been 70  years since The attack on Pearl harbor had Whoopie Goldberg and Joy Behar been around during the attack - this is what they would say -we  would like to make it clear that on Dec 7 1941 we were Not attacked by the Japanese, Just some Extremest elements of peoples residing in Japan that hijacked the true ideology of all of Japan - FDR was wrong in declaring war on the Empire of Japan....... Happy 55th to Larry Joe Bird, Nowitzki is better my A$$...........

Singles Dinner .......

      I got a call from a number I didn't recognize, generally I let it go to Voice mail, but I have exchanged numbers with a couple of girls from the plentyoffish website, so naturally i thought it was one of  the girls. She introduced herself, and I asked are you from Plentyoffish, "huh from where?" I caught on  and said never mind. She is organizing  a Friday Night Singles Dinner, and tried to get me to sign up and get other guys that i know- "Why would i want to invite more competition?" - She said there are a lot more girls - "What it's not Free?"  "HUH" - I was joking of course- I pretty much lied to her and told her i would attend, cause there would not be something more awkward for me than seeing a bunch of the same girls i went out with some results ending in disaster or in near disaster...........ON FB: " Sometimes you want to go where everybody Knows you're name"- Cheers

"Which one are you "?

,I asked a girl online who had a picture with a bunch of her friends in it. It was a picture that probably her friends would use to make themselves look better. What I have learned from online dating  is  "post a picture and  make sure it is with people that you are better looking than them" it's very important ( Thats why i am in picture with falafel and Abe)  I didn't want to insult her and ask her if her friends were single........I hate the a$$holes who leave treadmills running.....No Need to Panic, and I happen to believe when  the Muslim Brotherhood and Salafis will be running Egypt, They Even said they don't plan on Imposing Sharia.........  With the Recent firing of Coach JB at MDY - Despite what some say I don't see myself as a coaching Jinx Just cause Every Coach I assisted for happen to get Fired at some point- I had absolutely nothing to do with them being axed.......My agent has decided to add Philanthropist to my dating resume - "it was only an electric toothbrush that I donated to her auction" - There are different levels of Philanthropy - It's like saying  you  drive a Mercedes, only its an old model crappy Mercedes, so not unless they ask what kind of a Mercedes you are You are a Mercedes.........

Rumor has it

      that Hacham Yom Tov gave Mark"Booey" Gindi* special permission to drive on Shabbat to go to Manhattan to  Help save the NBE (national Basketball Entertainment) and save the season, under the guise "pikuach Nefesh "- Reminiscent of the story that Rabbi Ovadia gave then Shas Chairman Aryhe Deri special permission to drive on Shabbat to tell  PM Yitzhak Shamir not to retaliate against Saddam Hussein During the First Gulf War in 91 For Pikuach Nefesh Purposes - Not to take a cheap shot at the Rabbi, but  his  justification to OSLO- yup you guessed it Pikuach Nefesh ( Saving lives)..........Congradulations to LB Sister of Munster on her engagement, I am personally a big fan of the "Munsters" and am very happy for them


*is a know it all big mouth who thinks he has the inside scoop on all sports news

"99%

  of the time When a girl doesn't get back to you, and tells you she lost her phone it means  Take a Hike ". That's what i was explaining to Panama As we were sitting in a very empty Restaurant in Brooklyn. She Shot back " Do you think, I would do something like that " - Nope but from Experience I know what that means and plus you don't owe me anything. I referenced Bababooey with out giving him credit telling her for every one story you hear about a guy wearing down a girl with harassment ( benji bronk) until he gets her there are millions that don't get the girl, and that's not my style to do that. The air was cleared and I got the confirmation..The Sephlink agent has options b and c lined up........ I posted on FB 11minutes and 12seconds the amount of time she was late- Munster commented "that must be a record- was she happy "- I couldn't really comment back cause my mom is my friend,  But he was clearly alluding to......