The demographics

 of women emailing me as stated before is between the ages of 39- 52. A 39 year old woman Emailed me asking me to text her, pretty photos, a little tough profile, i did mention pretty photos - Here is what I texted her "very perverts photos btw, where in bklyn are u " took me 2 hours to realize I profusely apologized apparently the IPhone finished that word for me. She asked if i wanted to meet up, for a second time in my dating history I was late, in this instance Better Never than late would have been better. I waited outside for her and once she came out She and her mother were yelling at each other, it was foggy and dark and it was hard to tell who was who ( think Fran Dreschers voice with a accentuated Ashkenaz Accent, could have been worse with a syrian one and with a broom shoved up her)... We went somewhere local, she looked ok but her photos were much more better, Her voice was another story and she couldn't believe she was ordering VEGGGEEEZZ  at a David's style Restaurant. I loved her story about an Ex o taking her to a swingers club (48 Canal street if anyone cares), I passed on going in to see her cat and possibly her mother......Ohh and too answer her question No I do not take Bipolar medication........

Relative Voodoo?

 Out of the blue, a relative of mine called, Asking me for my full given name in Hebrew- There is this woman who can pray for you and figure out whats up, and has proven to work miracles hmmmm- of course it is customary to give her something for her service, Me being a  Suc ooops, a Believer obliged. The Relative calls me again, The Woman really needs to speak to you, she wants to keep things private and wants to speak to you direct ( little did she know about this blog and its 4 readers)  but To be honest,  She scared the Bajesus out of me, Am I going to die or something like that. I called her right away, In her trembling Voice that mimics airplane Turbulence She tells me, that she can tell I am a good person. ( but no letter of recommendation from her) She asked me weather I observe Shabbat and Kosher, of which I said not the way I am supposed to, hence the problem. Here I was thinking about going through some crazy rituals like bathing in Tomato paste and Epsom salt, and all i have to do is observe Shabbat and kosher properly and Problem is solved, But Holy Crap it's the Regionals and Final Four,The Kosher part not a problem, Shabbat can it wait a couple weeks? She Replied do little by little and follow up with me in a few weeks. She  Envisioned me with a really pretty girl, No dimensions specified , I asked for her eye sight Number, she didn't hear the question or maybe she did. This probably confirms my Ticket to hell...............

When a Dog,

  
       makes Doody and no one cleans it up, Whose at fault the dog or the owner? When a School Bus Is waiting over 4 Minutes and blocking the street Whose at Fault the Parents or the Kid? I Know. I know  what You all are going to say "Well you don't have kids, so you don't know" -  under no circumstances have i ever Honked at a waiting school bus, but maybe used a  little foreign language profanity aimed at the parents..... My Rationale for Emailing  really hot 23 year old girl if a lot of older woman can Email me, Why can't I email her ? I basically told her how hot She was in a few different ways- Plus that we have a lot in common - Were Both attractive, Outgoing, Love Shopping  and sociable - But, I'm one up on her on Wars in the Gulf. I think their is better chance that the Moshiach will come....I  did get in touch with Aipac Girl again- I felt the enthusasim in the texts ( alot of .....), non the less will go out, I think Will go Play Bowling..........

Here's too You,

 Mrs Robinson - not exactly but the last seven woman that contacted me on line have been 52, 46, 42, 40, 39, 37 and 34 with Three kids. The Question is this Are they messaging me cause they are desperate, and it would be the equivalent of messaging a really fat and disgusting looking girl or are they genuinely interested, some of them are not bad by the way.......I stared down the devil, didn't flinch, looked  it in the eye and walked  away- of course i am referring to the enormously fattining  cake in front of me - a temporary moment of triumph in my never ending battle against Food, After the 6000 big ones hair surgery failure, i can not afford to both be fat and bald - I'm cracking down on food very much like Assad on the insurgents......I  do not hold much hope for the French to bring the perpetrator's of the Ozar Hatorah Massacre to Justice after all this is the same people that watched for several days as Ilan Halimi  was being tortured and did NOTHING, and with exception to the Pilot and crew, let's not forget the way they handled the  Hijacking at Entebbe".......

A good Friend of mine

   always insisted that where ever he was, either in the shul, wedding, Assembly etc, that pretty girls were  always making eye contact specifically with him, for arguments sake will give him the benefit of the doubt. Recently on line a holy $H%#it, Maroneami beautiful  looking hot 23 year old girl  viewed my profile 7 times over  the past couple weeks ( not that I'm counting) "What does it tell you"? Me-  Either she needs a green card, or she probably has a glitch in her computer and accidentally clicks my profile or her mom hijacked her account and likes me. A Women studies specialist after seeing her photos advised me to "Email her NOW" what do I  have to lose? hmmmm for starters in some parts of the world i can be her father,  But "Maybe she wants the Salami"? hmmm something too think about but that's never ever happened to me before except one time. Let's rationalize suppose we were dogs we would only be separated by 2 years or how about a football game It will only be a two touchdowns spread not too bad especially in an  LSU vs Norflok St game.  Should i Email her I'll clearly go  for the Jugular..........

 

When do I text back?.......

  I Texted Aipac Girl, Didn't hear back from her till the next day- she forgot her phone in the office, Sounds familiar,  I texted her back upon reciet, I haven't heard anything......Unlike last year when someone left there post to get Falafel or something and Runners went off course, This Year's Jerusalem Marathon ended with out any fanfare.......My Online subscription ends in five days, The usual Girls that i was interested in weren't and vice verse. I still entertain all Emails i get though..... Wichita is stuck 3 Points to VCU 18 seconds left, They cross mid court call time out with 12 seconds, I am pretty sure that they didn't design a play for their Seven footer to shoot a double clutch Three with 2 seconds left......

"The Window of

 Opportunity is closing", HUH do I look like the Iranian Nuclear Facilities that need to be taken out? " No  you assume ,you need to give things a chance, you give up on things too easily  "Assumptions are the termites of relationships." ( she quoted the fonz), with that advice I will call Aipac girl again........ An unwritten sports rule, That you don't mess with Karma was the reason i gave my sister in law for not calling the girl she got me her Number- Her team as a big underdog made the championship- I'll wait till after the championships as not to "Jinx" anything..........It's been 15 years to the "island of peace" Massacre  a Heroic Jordain Soldier Killed 7 Jewish School girls, wounded several others, His only regret his weapon Jammed, he is heralded in the Arab world as a Hero....... I can't imagine anyone being stupid enough to pay $499 to attend a Jerusalem post confernece with one of their headliners being Ehud Olmert........