Doody

A Couple of Years ago, I drafted a stand up routine Should i ever go into the comedy Business, However i Misplaced My Notes so here is a summary of my routine. Caution this can be really bad...

      Not all Doody's are Homogeneous and no that doesn't mean a really smart gay guy.... Going #2 is like going to WAR, and now i know  Some would say Well have you ever been to War, Why trivialize it with, For the record I have never Been in any wars or Even War zones the closest I got was Staying in Southern Israel during protective edge in 2014 and the most traumatic moment for me was peeing all over myself after hearing my uncles wife yelling their was a code red. Now When going #2 one must Asses (no pun intended) what kind of #2 it would be kind of like having intelligence in the field. Now for  obvious reasons you  would want to fight this war on you're home Turf, You know the terrain the lay out of the land, and have an understanding of where everything is. Upon the first Splat the immediate call of action must be the courtesy flush, Which more or less is the Equivalent to the Air force Strike to clear up the area as much, Once that's Done you gain Clarity weather its a constipated doody, a Smooth one, A wet one etc... Then You move into the Ground Troops phase , which is the Toilet Paper , This will determine How smooth the war will go. Will it require a huge force of Squares, if the Massive use of force would irritate the Area, Would it be like iraq or would it be like Grenada? Once that Phase is completed Then the Mop up phase Starts which is the baby wipes stage where you wipe out any of the last resistance of the Insurrection, Making sure there is No doody left and thus avoid the Shame of the Skidmarks. Throughout the process the Air Force or the Flush is Used PRN  ( Dr's terms for as needed)