Reprinted

          THE PASSOVER BILL OF RIGHTS 
  1. Poor Mans Bread Cost a $#it load of Money
  
  2. Elijah The Prophet Comes in through the Front door and not the Chimney He does NOT         bring presents

  3. In The Haggadah BEN ZOMA is a Scholar and not a Son of a Bitch 

  4. Everyone is aware the Romanian Lettuce has been Checked for Bugs, You do NOT need to  announce, when flying does the Pilot insist on Telling you That every Valise has been                 Checked for Bombs

 5. Macaroons are the officially sanctioned snack of this holiday 

 6. Double Dipping is not only Allowed But Encouraged,  

 7. Customary to Not Lace one's Shoes to Symbolize the Shackles our forefathers were              chained to in Egypt 

 8. The Stick that beat the dog that bit the cat that ate the cheese Story is completely bullcrap 

 9. The Jewish version of the NCAAs start on the second Night, Known as " The Omer"- The rules Single elimination, if you miss it you're out- You may still play at home..........

10. The commentators  say The real reason we eat matzoha is , while escaping from  Egypt G0d Wanted to constipate the Jewish people, that no one should have to go to the Bathroom and hold up the rest of the crowd  

Some more helpful Tips 
1) From a girl that gave me a hernia Schlepping her bags before a date - put Jelly Rings in the Freezer they taste delicious frozen 
2) if you plan on fornicating Yeast is Hametz 
3) If a girl Tells you she has a lot of weddings and party's to attend right after Passover- really means Take a Hike