Skipping

the insipid and anemic phone call . ER Returned  my call with a Text, And the conversation took off from there, Culminating with a Discussion of the  Japanese Nobel prize winners for their work on LED lighting. She green lighted the date by Saying Led it be light See you Monday night...... My #2 Terror Alert level has risen to  Code Red Status, After a friend of mine has intensified his prayers against me. DM famously known for his prayers for Rain in Deal on Weekends, at a high Success rate. Is Unleashing his Wrath on me for Inquiring about the time he saw his grandmother of blessed memory Naked. All I asked was if she had retro bush and Droopy Yellow t%&s. The Last time He unleashed the curse. I got stitches, A flat tire, and had a customer stiff me 15 dimes in the same week. So with a lot of walking on the holidays and another potential upcoming date, I'm carrying an extra dose of Imodium........Happy Harvest, to make it absolute clear  it is very permissible to double stand, Block driveways, make illegal U turns for the sake of g0d and Mitzvot..............

41 years ago

 to the Yom Kippur War, The Egyptians have made a new documentary that glorifies "their great victory", again they may have covered the spread but certainly did not win.....It Bothers me a lil that Everyone I know That uses the phrase "Let me tell you Something"  Always  Happens to tell me something with  a$$ breath...... A Collaboration between my Sister and Law and an Acquaintance ,Has yielded  the Number of an Attractive GE( Great Expectations) girl. Checking out her FB, It's exciting to know that we have so much in common. I just need to brush up on several Pop Culture topics and as chick hearn would say Slam Dunk....  Meticulously going over the Initial phone call in my mind, I always prepare for every Scenario Imaginable, and prepare a couple of Jokes Should G0d forbid I may need to use. Thankfully I got her voice mail. The Ball is in her court now to respond, Pressure off........  

The Great Day

of Atonement debate was "is it appropriate for someone who is a Sabbath Violator, Not 100%kosher eater, occasional fornicater with non Jewish woman etc. to be allowed to represent the congregation by carrying the Torah or getting called up to the Torah". My argument was that it's not something I would like to have on my conscience, The House Rabbi didn't give a black, white answer and with that I not only carried the Torah, but also got called to the Torah. The Cost for both $266.68. A Bargain for Yom Kippur...... The Services were somewhat uneventful until the Amateurish and inexperienced cantor drew the Ire of Some of the Petitioners, primarily the first family of the Minyan, or as some like to refer to them as The Kennedy's, meet's the Hockey Hanson Brothers with a Daash or ISIS Twist. The Bumbagee Clan, Who boisterously and clamorously  attacked the cantor for mispronouncing words and not representing the congregation well on the Holiest of Holy Days. The Outburst lasted for a very long Five minutes with 5 out of the 6 Bumbabgees voicing their opinion. Peace in our time was Brought back by the Great Azoori, and thankfully the Bumbagees will not be seceding from the Union. It was fascinating  to see Chief financial officer DM, Genuinely panic at the mere thought of having to shake any one's Hand, Even rejecting some Hands of the Rich,Famous and Torah Scholars. His Sentiments of course were Shared by " Columbine" a disgruntled looking young man who Seemed pretty angry, until Mooch Opened a conversation with him. Crazy Joe Devola was back, but Sadly Herman Munster was not. I really want to be Friends with Bumbagee Nation  








 

Fore Fore Fore

    With out  Any more social dating websites, or any potential dates I find that i have more time on my hands to write more Uncle Joe poetry....With Fore Fore Fore (Moses Malone Style) Encounters coming up, and very little chance of reaching the Main Event... Right away. I decided to forgo the online route. Last night was Hoboken, in Douche bag fashion I just ignored the text, Sunday night Merrick, Monday night the city, Tuesday White Plains, Of course their was the Israeli girl who asked that I call her after 700 P:M. I've become flaky, more insecure, and acting like a complete Dick........ Fore Fore Fore, maybe Fore and half- It pleases me to say that all Fore Girls that i was in a Sustainable and long term relationship are either Married or Engaged to be Married.The half also got married, but We had a really really good arrangement. There is no question in mind, that My ticket into heaven has been punched 

Uncle Joe....

I was summoned to write a few words about the late great uncle Joe......I can't say I have much time on my hands as it took me about Seven Minute's, but a Trip to the Shrink's office maybe on the horizon


 uncle Joe you had a dream 
unlike Joseph's but dr martin Luther king's 
that kids would join hands together eating vanilla and chocolate ice cream
in an oasis of brotherhood they all chanted  let freedom ring 

 Uncle Joe you were The Captain of the ship   
 no one ever questioned why the ice cream was never chocolate chip 
 You were every generations universal Uncle Joe
 Even though you Simply refused to  grow 

 Uncle my Uncle you were the Whitman of Ice cream 
You bought the best flying Saucers, unlike Good humor or Mehadrin 
Our berachot we made were you're biggest treat 
we were grateful you weren't a Kohen, Cause you also had really smelly Feet

 You were an ice cream warrior 
with passion of a united postal mail courier 
Stopping many chocolate vs Vanilla fights
you were a champion of the ice cream civil rights

 You're spirit cried never, even when you're body stopped 
With you're inspiration we licked our ice cream to the last drop
 You've touched everyone, and prevented a lot of violence 
 That included the aged and those who are lactose intolerance 

 You're legacy lives on in the Minyan you Started for Free 
 The Torch has been passed to the Family of Bumbagee

Is "Not My Type"

 a Euphemism for ugly? Someone I know embellished my credential to a random girl .Made me 5 years younger, Some Million Dollars richer, and on the Gandhi level of a greatness. When She checked out my FB Profile pic her reply Not my Type. She wasn't mine either, but I'd still.... never mind...... Thanks to the Great SteveC, I've got Ein Od Milevado Tourette's, and in his voice also.... It Bothered me a little to see someone who  indubitably does great things for people, and impacting their lives,  Posting his Good deeds on line, and all the comments of how Wonderful it is. It really is Wonderful, but posting about it a little hmmm.......

Happiness Requires A lot of work ?

     A Short Three minute conversation at 740 led to a spontaneous 815 meeting at a local McDonald's on bay parkway with an Soviet Expat with distant Photos in her profile. The Risk Was minimal, the investment was low, and the Return was well the return. Chirpy, with outrageous laughter, She looked really good in her distant photos, And seemed abnormally Happy. Sharing Stories,and observations over French Fries and water. It made feel really bad complaining that I pee too much, Especially after hearing what She's been through, Her Story made Tishe Be Av sound like a Festival. She kept repeating That Happiness requires a lot of work, and she didn't get this way over night. Suspecting she may have been on the sauce or Shrooms, She kept preaching the " Joel Osteen" Style message Sans the Jesus part. Their was no love connection, but i suspect she really liked me cause she kept insisting that it looks like i work out...........9 years ago the sudden passing of  PSAL coaching great Larry Major..........http://theorignalboat.blogspot.com/2013/09/waiting-on-very-long.html.