Options Again,

   The Online Dating world has opened up some new Opportunities with pretty much all of them being long shots. My New Profile reads:
The Good News about this profile I look like my photos the bad news about this profile i look like my photos. I wanted to convert to Islam, but Allah wouldnt advance me on the virgins so i figured, id stay jewish. I am very Honest, Except for stealing swedish fish, Music and Ketchup once. G-d Punished me back by making someone steal my Ipod. I like to celebrate Holidays such as Black History Month, Moses and Menachem Begin's B-days -My Immediatte goals is to figure out how to put my sheets on my bed, making a Tie, and learning a musical instrument. I am always on time ( thats my Ashekenaz side). I dont cook, but I am great at making Wish Sandwiches, I have created words and like to pronounce silent letters so they dont feel excluded...... I have gotten around 11 emails OK not around but with out any of them having good prospects had they emailed me about my photos, IT would have been a lot better- I am speaking to a 44 year old divorced woman whose pretty Hot and we may meet up. Also Three Girls from Israel one we became friends on FB  and may meet up when I'm there in Jan.One who saw my FB profile and "forgot" to contact me again She actually lives in NY. One who has Three kids and lives In Jerusalem, whom will probably not meet up with....Another girl  wanted me to send her Money, but at least she said i was handsome, and a couple pretty girls who may have gotten too busy to reply back to my Emails. I never Expected to hear from Ausrisralian girl, But she texted me asking how my New Years went- I may meet her Wed to hear all about her Resolutions, I asked to hear them............

The Special prayer,

 for $ at the end of the Rosh Hashana Services nets in big time Money for the Shul. What Irked me  most about this is the person who purchases the privilege to open the Ark and stand there is generally mobbed by Freeloaders who sneak there way up to the Torah. Forget the fact that this whole process is turned into a mockery by promises of wealth and prosperity to jack up the bidding but the person who buys it should at least get to determine who stands near him when he opens the Ark, I suggested just as they have at the Clubs, seal off the area with a velvet Rope and let the Purchaser determine whom can stand near the Torah.  In The Shul I Prayed it that privilege only went for $200 Now The last time I spent 200 big ones for under 4 minutes was Never Mind. I do pray to g0d that he doesn't read this blog...........Some one Compared the Bnie Yitzhak Legislation by the Rabbi  of outlawing the singing of  "UBA L' TZION" On non Shabbat Days To Mayor Dinkins Banning Planes flying  over the US Open perhaps both their greatest contribution...... back to Jdate Back to the same Nonsense here's an email i got and my response : Subject: 2 THINGS-"Hi. Okay 1...your wrong, making girls laugh does count! And 2... How come you don't put a pic up that actually shows your face? "-
1. youre probably right it does count - but not a lot like when u get a final grade the looks would be 50% money 40% funny 7% other 3 %
2. I look really good in blurry photos- but i just rejoined so i used my phone to put them up

I will be,

a real Jew This Rosh Hashana and Pray for FREE. All New years celebrations don't bring me any excitement, Realistically whats going to change after praying and eating and praying and eating. I pretty much  only just look forward to see whose going to fight in shul......... I decided to Re Join Jdate with out paying, but then i got the same emails I usually get and decided to pony up the 39.99. Nothing exciting so far........ My Mother wanted to go out for my Birthday, I told her she could  with out me, I felt bad a little that i may have come off mean. I just choose not to celebrate, and don't think its excessive to change the date on FB, those posts bother me.....I felt like a criminal Trying to get Insurance under my own name I have a cellphone Violation from Sept 2008, Got hit in the back by a cab in 2009, Alleged Aggressive driving charge in NJ DEC 2009, and a Speeding Ticket sometime in 2007.......Sephlink Agent wanted me to call another agent to ask about the girl she was trying to hook me up with, I didn't care eneough to do it. Also I think the right play with "Mix up" girl is to just let it go........A retraction I like the Secular American Jews especially Rose Levine that add the  L' in their Shana tova grettings.......The Enemy( food) is going to be fierce this holiday.............

Being back for Two

days the Israeli is still in me, i am still overly aggressive, hyper and using a lot more Middle Eastern profanity that I should be and for no reason......... Someone in Michigan Named his Dog Mohamed, I thought it was funny, apparently there is going to be a Jihad waged against the poor bastard. It  made me reconsider my TEK- Beer project as the word Tekbeer in Islam is a holy word, and of course Beer is Haram ...... No  douche bag Phony Happy New Year Posts mass Emails or Texts. I wish us Jews can go out drinking and partying like they do in Chinese and regular New Years,we get the Shofar.......A Short while a go there was a mix up with a girl I went out with and would have gone out with again. I thought PH was exercising Rejection Diplomacy ( she just doesn't respond to a follow up as not to insult the rejected party) So I didn't pursue it, turns out the girl was interested, I promised PH I would call the girl to clear her conscience. Only if I knew what the hell to say, perhaps Honesty is the best policy in this scenario, Ill make up something.........Stat of the day I am 2 -23 in non shabbat Shul days this month........

Lines, Lines

Everywhere Lines at the Airport in Ben gurion - took me an 1:18.23. To pass through all the lines. The most brutal of course is by the El Al check in where they have two lines on top of the other and people plant themselves in the middle. There was some belligerency( i have video)but it passed. I kept running into the same woman at every line, Turned out to be former Oregon and NBA player Luke Jackson's Mother in law- She came to help her daughter get settled in with her new baby as Luke is playing for Hapoel Jerusalem. She was pretty hot and we had a good sports conversation especially about OSU and how a crappy coach Obama's Brother in law is. The girl at the check in asked me if  my emergency contact was my wife - I told her nope my dad I'm single, rich and look like a bus ran over my face- she asked Why am I flying coach then?.....All that was on  my mind was the enormous customs lines wait that was waiting for us at Kennedy, but turned out to run relatively smooth. Time from when Plane touched down to the cab a 1:6.41.4 seconds....... Stat of the day.....All people who inch up to you on lines are Israeli...but not all Israelis are Line incher uppers......Sephlink called a with "same girl but different color " I said OK, it's in G0ds hands.......

Tel Aviv,

 Was a bust. Crappy Hotel, Friends too tired. Rain and Humidity, and Friends cancel  on me . Walking on the Boardwalk Friday i was amazed to see How many Arabs there were in Tel Aviv/ Jaffa.......If you are in Israel please notice that all cashier and security personal have stools or chairs to sit on. Did you Know that   it was a LAW passed by new Labor party  leader Shelly yachmimovich- Insane.....  While walking to find a shul on Shabbat in the rain( the only part of the day it rained) I  ran into a French Sephardi minyan The Rabbi and congregation were real nice but the tunes and Hazanoot make "Hacham Mordechai  Nadav" look like a Sunday School teacher. They overly bless everyone sounds phony but i think they mean well.  I stayed for my first Torah class since the H bush administration,  not sure if it counts cause it was in French....

The News again

    fed me that there was going to be a lot of action in Jerusalem today "Jumma prayers at Al Aksa". So i  left TA and went back to jerusalem to see the action. Security was beefed up all over the Damasacus Gate and the E. jerusalem area, and no major problems. I did run into a Minyan for "Jumma" and I will say this These guys are devout they pray probably on the level of the Haseedems, and they don't all look radical. They also don't have A-D- D, when the Imam speaks there is silence, may be cause there scared but its quiet the only words i understood were Jihad, Al Aksa, Yahood, Tahrir and a couple here in there. It sucks that I will be missing the "worlds greatest outdoor party" tonight but at least I'll get free WiFi. Looking forward to arguing with my Hotel tommorow about not being able to check out on Shabbat, they insist i leave at 400. It's supposed to rain in Tel Aviv, Coincidence or some one has been praying for it to rain there?...........