Pakistani Matrimony,

walking Downtown i was fortunate enough to pass by the Pakistani Day Parade around Madison Sq Park. As pretty much the only Really White Person there i Felt like I was at a Lashkar-e-Taiba Rally, as there were a lot of radial looking people there. I wanted to fill out an application for the Pakistani dating web site the signers up looked at me puzzled, and when I mentioned I am Jew, they took the form away and said it wasn't for me, The Pakistani hat I bought didn't trick them,  The truth is i wanted the free T-shirt. I think i need a Tan. There were some very exotic looking girls there with out the Ninja outfits....... I enjoyed the"Kiddish" at the shul in Long Island i prayed at this week They of course had Kugel and all those Ashkenazim Salads( The Cole slaw Tzimis. etc...). It's great how the whole shul  stays for the Kiddish, That would seldom ever happen at a Syrian Shul...........The Rabbi from Lubavitcher is making me feel guilty for skipping last month on the donation, Things are a little tight, The Guilt is driving me crazy............

And continuing to play,

  The game .PH was pushing that I call a girl that I am not sure why she would be interested in  meeting up. We met up once before (she did not like me) and  it was also not the best of nights for me, not cause of her,it was a situation i may have put myself in previously*. She's quite religious on the modern Haradeit level, I have no clue what to talk about when i call but it's only drinks so it's no big deal...... I was Playing basketball with my friend AM** at the Reebok Gym, In the first game, In my Mind I was either the second or third  best player on the court, So they matched me up with the 5-5 120 Chinese girl , She didn't score I was able to cheat on defense and i clipped her for 9 points out of our teams 19 - Mainly from put backs and a Three pointer, I posted her up but always kicked it out, just didn't feel right. The Games got better after that......I completely forgot to call back "Juicy Girl" I knew I forgot something.......continuing

*it involves another girl and her cycle
** Poker. Backgammon legend

Playing the game,

I was accused by the SephLink of being non- compliant and unaccommodating to some of the girls I have been offered to go out with. Reluctantly i agreed to call a girl I got 0.0 information about, except the usual great girl, great family, works, down to earth, and not you're typical S girl. As always i prepared for all scenarios with the call and the hot topic of conversation was my good phone with bad service against her bad phone with good service- I always manage to crowbar my Medicated pete* question which is what are you're interests-and of course it's family, hanging out, friends- after 10:49 of ruffled conversation we should be meeting up Tuesday..... Thanks to JD of the beit Hillel org. for the FREE car charger, Ill wait to say the " shehecheyanou " blessing till after Tisha Be Av...........

* a former stern show intern with Tourette's he was trying to pick up a girl and asked her that question- it's a lock for me to ask that everytime i call a new girl..........

"The Samson Option",

No Way - The Samson option of dating, and relationships is when all else fails- beg the girl and threaten u may harm yourself if she leaves you - This option is paralel to the Israeli position during the early stages of the Yom Kippur war.Desperate to Save the destruction of the third temple- Some Say they were Very close to unleashing the Nukes on the enemy, and that became known as the Samson Option- meaning that's when Armageddon kicks in..... So I didn't follow my friends advice with "late girl" she actually sent me back a mercy text "Thanks, can we do drinks instead, working late this week"- I pondered my response, it was like deja vu all over again with the girl that was washing her hair every night for the rest of her life"- "That's cool I understand, another time maybe- I'm free through the rest of 2011 with exception to Tisha Be Av in couple weeks and arbor day in Oct - Just messin for real, I get it -k.e.- G Thanks.  I amuse myself sometimes OK a lot of times........I have gotten 4 emails from on line with the kyrie eleison reference all 4 girls not Jewish.......

The Hail Mary,

 Email option I sent to late girl ("Dinner this week, promise youll have fun, if not at least food will be good" ) didn't yield any miracle finish, but didn't have any bad consequences.  Unlike the Israelis, I was listening to Ambassador Michael Oren talk about the 6 day War and  he refereed to The Israeli Operation Focus of bombing  the Egyptian air bases and planes as the "Hail Mary" Option as they sent out over 200 jets leaving only 8 jets and G-d to watch over the rest of the country, The consequences could have been disastrous, But G-d had other plans for the Jewish Nation.......... I Met up with OP1* girl last night I forgot the actual time of the date if it was 730 or 800, so i got there 720- It was 800, I didn't mind cause the "Black on Black" show was on. I can understand Why PH** likes her so much, there wasn't much chemistry, But no awkwardness either, I can sense she was itching to go, the fact that it was freezing helped also, I wasn't that cold but overplayed it , It was "as usual" nice to meet someone new but no church on Sunday.............

* the girl i got set up with a while ago
**- the Set up lady

When Abraham,

 created the concept of " Hachnasat Orcheiem"-clearly the Rubins took it  to another level. With all due respect to Abraham- There is no way he hosted guests on the caliber the Rubins have, I am considered like a Sunday School teacher compared to some of the people they hosted, and I'm not an easy guest. I do follow the house rules usually ( 4 no's passing gas,salt, double dipping or peeing on the seat). I Suggested that they make a checklist of all the people that they have hosted. As a bonus i also got Dating Tips From Grandma M- " if you want to see a girl again go by her house make believie  like you're reading a book and "accidentally" bump into her, I was thinking about it, it maybe be borderline stalking. I recommend you go to Danmiz.com for an interesting article on girls from the greater Sephardi community, The Author is anonymous and goes under the title "Deep Throat"...............

The Taliban Shul,

Were short one person for a Minyan for Minha, Arbit Sunday, I was walking about 10 feet behind  two guys with black kippot  who were approached by the "Rabbi" and asked to help join the minyan, they said they were in a rush. I  was not in a rush and interjected and said I can go, Even though i just prayed. The "Rabbi " Motioned with his hand towards me and said NO, NO, not you .I was wearing shorts, and had My Kippa on still, to my credit i just walked away and didn't say anything, I don't know if one of the two other guys stayed............A Record breaking day for,  I drank 22 bottles of the 16.9 oz water bottles and thus far peed an unprecedented 14 times so far, that's 14 extra "Asher Yatzar " Blessings.................