White People,

 

    Can be very Scary, Especially During these times. The Garbage shoot is roughly 12 Steps from my Apartment door, impetuously ,negligently, but innocuously I did NOT put on a 3 ply Cloth mask to take out the paper and the trash. Luck Had that I ran into a Middle aged Woman of white color, who shot me a look as if  I put it in the wrong hole, First reaction was to check my Pants, perhaps I popped wood, or even worse,  She Snarked " Please be mindful of others" and turned away, I apologized profusely for my transgression, and put the matter to rest.......When Things are going crappy, Do we Thank Gd that they aren't crappier?.......On the Banks  of the Potomac, There we sat and lamented the Loss of our democracy.........If I forget 01/06.....                                       

  

The Rabbi Stepped

 

    in it and I'm gonna get it......Practically, Every morning, A member of the Carnivora Order Deposits a Deuce on the Side of my work Driveway. Being Victimized and witnessing others, Forced me to learn the lay out of the land the hard way. Arriving for an Early Morning Pick up, and in a rush, The Rabbi Was Aggressive in loading up his car, forging ahead I saw the Solid pile all Squished, Checking my feet i was grateful, Observing the Rabbis Feet as he continued to load up his van, My Sympathetic Sentiments were quickly overridden with a huge grin and occasional burst of laughter. Knowing well aware that Karma is a B#I@TCH, In True "Police" Fashion,"Every step i take" it hasn't come,,,But like the Moshiach Even if have doubts, I Know that eventually I will Step in it... Stepping up in line at the supermarket, The Cashier Seemed Preoccupied on her Phone, My thoughts Ranged from, Being like the annoying white people  and Elucidate a mature voice sounding "EXCUSE ME", to throating clearing as my father does when he wants to pressure the cantor to Restart the Service. Choosing the road less traveled i began Shaking in a Davening Style manner and just like that that the Scanning began. Figuring I am onto Something i stopped by Laffy's for a quick Bite. Finding myself behind an Accented Woman, She was grilling the cashier on just about every product in her Basket. I moved to the other end of the counter, and proceeded to Daven while waiting for the Store clerk to open up the other register, however he was quite busy Straightening out the Shelfs, and continued ignoring me... Exasperated at the situation, I Just walked Away.....

The Rabbi Got

 

 an Alliyah, And the Sergeant in Arms of the Temple gesticulated for all to rise. Sitting, he caught my attention and Motioned for me to rise. Playing dumb I Waved back in a greetingly manner, Which in turn caused him to Increase the intensity of his Wave, much to his disdain i returned the same Wave. Shooting me a look as if i farted up the Synagogue, he turned to focus on the Alliyah.....I did hold the door open for him at a later hour, and was Thanked, Peace was preserved......According to Some there are levels of reactions when commenting on How cute Something or Someone's Kid is The " STOP  IT STOP IT OMG" is  probably second in annoyance only to the  " I CAN'T BREATHE"  "Seriously, Seriously" to quote The great IBH  George floyd couldn't breathe, Not you looking at someone's BS Kid...

Laffy's

is a Neighborhood Shop that specializes in ME foods and Delicacies. As a frequent customer, I enjoy the friendly banter with the staff as well as the Selection of foods. It Was brought to my attention that allegedly Expiring dates have been Erased off Certain food and beverages, for example Cheese and Diet sprite. After a Thorough and serious fact finding mission, the allegation was proved to be True. Now the last thing, that is wanted is for Laffy's to get a Bum Rap, I will present you the reader with the Prodigious  Responsibility of letting me know how to handle the situation!  Choice A) Ignore the matter and never go back  B) Discreetly bring it up to Mr Laffy and let him address the matter C) confront the staff in a truculent manner.......... Prior to the bidding portion of the services, the organizer hands out a detailed pamphlet of what is available for purchase. Sheepishly I asked, Can I purchase something on Consignment, with the promise of payment Plus Juice, After all Gd does Reward those who give...... Another ingenious and revolutionary ploy to make Extra bucks for the Synagogue, is to sell One Way or round trip Tickets of carrying the Torah. Firstly to the Bima and the return trip back to the Arc.....

Is There an E

 

xpiration, on the Special prayer for finding a lost object ? The basic rule is " Lose or misplace an item  make a pledge in Honor of the Rabbi, Say a few lines, When the " Miracle" happens, You fulfil the pledge to charity". Frantically, I was searching for my Keys, at the Behest of a collogue, Whom had a miracle story of his own, I said the prayer, did  my diligence  in the scavenge with no results. One week later a customer, whom, I shipped some boxes to called me " Why did you ship us Keys"?......to Quote the Late great Jimi Jameson " The Search is over". I'm Still on the hook ........If an A/C repair van was double parked on a Small Park Slope  Street with one of his backdoors open, Obstructing Traffic. Would one Just wait, and assume the driver will be right there? I Honked on and off for about 15 Seconds ( too short to time) and nothing, slightly irritated or perhaps a little more, I Stepped out of my car to Shut his door, A Holler of HEY, roared out " Don't touch my van" ! calmly I Said. Relax man  I'm Just trying to get by. Slightly more aggressive this time he said " Don't touch my van". Not wanting to Escalate the Situation I backed off, and the Van Door remained Shut.....

Hearts and Minds

      Clearly no hearts and minds will be won over the latest clashes with Israel and the Palestinians. But I wish to Thank the Ultra Liberals Who have shown the light as to why the world Needs a Palestinian state instead of the State of Israel :

1) For being a bastion of human rights for all oppressed peoples in the region primarily the lgbtq people, as their very own founding father mr Arafat was a not so proud member

2) For the free and fair elections they hold every 4 years

3) For their virulent and congenital anti semitic sentiments

4) for their resilience in trying to  eliminate the jewish state, it was tried in 48 with mr pasha of the arab league promising massacres rivaling Mongolian times to Nassar in 67 rallying the umma to throw the Jews into the sea, to the October war of 73 which despite losing they covered the spread to hijackings, terror attacks, Intifadas, boycotts, and indiscriminate rocket or mosquito bites that happen to also send to shelter the 1.9 million arab Citizens of the state

5) for their leaders all finding ways of being extraordinarily wealthy, without a trace of corruption and theft, and Sharing the wealth with its people.

6) for the free and open press and right to criticize the government, without facing any backlash or threats whatsoever. It’s wonderful to see protestors on a weekly basis outside mr Abbas or mr sinwars residence 

7) That police departments across the US would not get their training from Israel and thus cease to oppress peoples of color

8) That the Russians who have never and would never ever disseminate any false information coined the ever popular phrase “settler colonial State" That is so widely used today.  On Behalf of who, Did these jews colonize the land?  I am only aware of the colonizers from Yemen Egypt Iraq etc Who were afforded the "Hobson choice".

9) for their refusal under no circumstances to even accept a jewish state on any parcel of land in the region and thus ensure that when lets say an Air france plane full of jews gets hijacked or a Jewish Center in Argentina Gets blown up, No one would come to the aid of these jews Thus Ensuring that " Never Again " does NOT mean " Never again"...

 

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5

 

 is the Five Second Wait period to respond, When Speaking. Kudos to the distinguished Arsonist,  DM whom, Has shown me the light in proper Speech Etiquette..... The Times they are A Changing...Are You Fully? That was an old age Question that was raised, And Still relevant today when asking someone if they Are Fully Bar Mitzvah, the Same Question is asked, However Referencing if You are Fully Vaccinated and cleared the Two Week wait period..... Please Refer to Past Year's Passover Posts for the Bill of Rights, As we have received Severe Backlash for Reprinting Every Year......