WHY DO PEOPLE

 

      feel compelled to be NICER to Rich people?, to Laugh Harder at their Jokes, greet them like  conquering Heroes?..... A Regular looking Shlub Walked into The Big J to have a Vacuum Serviced, while Entertaining him and treating ordinary , We had a good exchange, Upon hearing after about His Stature, Eminence and opulence, We  lamented that we didn't treat him Extra ordinary.......Parking has been pretty bad on the UES, That's why it's always helpful to share intelligence with the Doormen, and porters to increase the odds of finding spots. When fortunate to land a good spot, I text my doorman, He always responds by calling me SIR, aside from Loathing that title, I don't know how to respond back, I usually Don't............Stat of the week 108 Minutes over the past Three Nights, to find ANY spot... A GREAT idea by a guy who Sends me Brooklyn apartment Rentals on a daily Basis, let me be clear this is His idea and I am just a messenger to the 3 people this may come across their Screens. HAZANIDOL, a contest for the youth to be Judged by the prominent cantors of the community, That would not only raise money for good causes, but give opportunities to the Youth to contribute, while winning cash prizes........

 

Pragmatism

 

  Dictates that During Difficult times, You make due with the best of the Situation. Attending Services for the first time in Six months, this was the protocol. Prior to entering the Building you are questioned by an Israeli TSA style agent who checks you're name, and asks about you're whereabouts for the past couple weeks. Upon clearing that hurdle, is  a Quick Temperature check, then being escorted to a waiting elevator ushering you to the 9th floor Terrace for services.... It was calming that it was an open Service with Seats Spaced out to regulations. Masks were enforced and Except for  the cantor, and few from the group that rhymes were Spomoccans everyone was pretty much compliant.... Paying $300 for Nose bleeds, it didn't matter as it was more of a general admission. I Sat in the back, naturally next to the perianal throat clearer.  The Opening up cantor Eager to impress brought his Extra Special Holiday Show Tunes, My ONLY Issue Was the Excessive dragging out of the prayer, that it was really cold, The Uncomfortably of the Masks, and the Anxiety of still being in Closer distance with people....The Main act followed up, and read the crowd and situation well and finished in good time.... The Rich people really love to purchase the last Alliyah to the Torah ( Maftir), and they clearly deserve it for the amount of Cheese they spend, However They Should be Barred from actually reading it  and allowing the cantor to do so, on a Short Portion it took him an Extra 7 Min 33 Seconds.........

According to the

  Russians, One who doesn't ring in the new Year celebrating, Wont be celebrating the whole year...Hmmm..... A Mea Culpa, After several years of mimicking an acquaintance on Personal Hygiene.   Even to the point of sending people to Shake his hand, a long and overdue Apology is necessary.  Much Like Noah Who was Mocked and derided for telling people Gd would destroy the earth, he blew the whistle on Hand shaking, A concept that will probably become Obsolete....  Quoting Tesla  " Well the Sign Says", that face masks must be worn at I and D, The Hubris of  Some Fleimeshe  to adhere to that rule? It bothered me a little, Wait actually a lot otherwise, I wouldn't it note it here. Seems like a basic concept of RESPEK... The Rebuttal, maybe they had gotten it already and had the antibodies, maybe they couldnt afford one, and my personal favorite At a Jewish store they don't need to wear one, if it was a shoprite, bank, or  Bodega, then they should wear the mask to "avoid desecrating G0ds name". I saw something, But didn't say Something........Dean Smith Always Meant what he said, But Didn't always Say what he was thinking, So with that in mind, .L' Shana Tova   ,(          ) The L' of course is a testament to My late Grandmother...

Superstition!

     Today is the 189th day of this "Situation" that is 6 months and nine days, May the good.........Through out this Pandemic, I have implemented Some Unwritten rules for myself, that I follow religously for instance I never lay out my clothes at night for work the next day, avoiding certain places and shops for no apparent good reason, Always Always reading Pslam 70 before going to sleep, and Adding an Extra Spill of water, from Three to Four on my hands Every Morning........The Famous Saying in the Arab world is "It Doesn't matter who votes, What matters is who counts the votes" and here in the Good ole USA, we are headed in a similar direction. How the Heck can't we figure out  how to stop meddeling by other countries, How we can  make sure Absnetee ballots are processed properly, and making sure people don't vote several times, and the actual processing of all the votes. EVERYONE knows this now, Why can't figire it out before HellEction Day...... Wev'e become a ONE issue voter; The Pandemic ........The Central Issue in our apartment Upgrade was..... A Second Bathroom, for an additonal $1100 a Month was it worth it? We resooundly vetoed that resolution citing that Since we have moved, we only had Three serious bathroom overlapping Issues, Twice for Number #1 and once for #2, and were able to manage the crisis succesfully, Even if it meant peeing in the Bottle............

 

.. 

Passover Bill of Rights amended

 The Passover Bill of Rights 
  AMENDED  1. Poor Mans Bread Cost a $#it load of Money
  
  2. Elijah The Prophet Comes in through the Front door and not the Chimney He does NOT         bring presents, It is 100%  safe to  welcome him in 

 3. In The Haggadah BEN ZOMA is a Scholar and not a Son of a Bitch 

 4. Everyone is aware the Romanian Lettuce has been Checked for Bugs, You do NOT need to  announce, when flying does the Pilot insist on Telling you That every Valise has been                 Checked for Bombs

   5. Macaroons are the officially sanctioned snack of this holiday 

  6. Double Dipping is not only Allowed But Encouraged,  
  
  7. Customary to Not Lace one's Shoes to Symbolize the Shackles our forefathers were              chained to in Egypt 

8. The Stick that beat the dog that bit the cat that ate the cheese Story is completely bullcrap 

9. The Jewish version of the NCAAs start on the second Night, Known as " The Omer"- The rules Single elimination, if you miss it you're out- You may still play at home........this season some have amended to add the quarantine days 

10. The commentators  say The real reason we eat matzoha is , while escaping from  Egypt G0d Wanted to constipate the Jewish people, that no one should have to go to the Bathroom and hold up the rest of the crowd  

And you never

    Ask Questions when G0d's on you're side.... At the Behest of my Hasadeem Neighbors they suggested, I call a Lawyer named " Scott" to handle my 71 in a 40, and fail to signal tickets on the FDR. Forking over $300 to "Scott", he got me a court date for May 7, 2020. This Past week  the office of "Scott" notified me that the BOTH tickets were Dismissed........ The  " UnSafe Lane Change" ticket, Required me to Travel to Hempstead. LI and sit in a crowded room, while waiting for a Court Prosecutor to call on me. After 16:31, The prosecutor reviewed my Ticket and  Offered "NO Points and a $250 Fine " " Can I counter Offer " Nope,  Despite proclaiming my innocence I took the deal, avoiding a trial. 22:11 later, Hearing room 2, the Judge read the verdict, and send me off to the cashier to Pay...The Stats 171 total minutes of " having nothing better to do"

Protect and

     Serve, Does not Mean you should Trump up False Charges against Law Abiding motorists. Twice this Past Month I was victimized by both the NYPD and the Nassau County PD. In Nassau for not having my Actual Insurance card, and " Unsafe Lane change" and in NYC for Speeding and failing to signal. Seems reasonable on the Flat foots end. However in the First instance, the FF knew that i was insured, and insisted on ticketing me, for that. The "Unsafe Lane Change" of which I signaled and the FF didn't see was because a car ahead of him " Stopped Short" and he had to stop short as well as to avoid hitting him.  For the Insurance ticket, Logic dictates you submit a copy of the card and it gets dismissed, However NC insists on having what is like tantamount to you're parents. Grandparents and other relatives submitting a note to a Teacher as to why you did Not do you're homework. In Short an Original letter only from the Home office of the company, on company letterhead.must be typed and signed, provide policy number, with every detail related to the car amongst other details etc. I do plan on fighting the " Unsafe lane" ticket and avoid perhaps Points, and the $288 fine with only G0d knows how many other fees attached to it..... As for the NYPD..............