Borat

 Would be too easy, Overused, and not Funny to invoke with my Khazagstianian Date last night. Texting me that She happens to be in the Area, and Either of us had anything better to do, We decided to meet up at a Sheepshead bay Cafe. She was an anomaly amongst her countryman, The daughter of a Transportation CEO, ( she knew the song " in my country") she grew up wealthy, and with opportunity. We spoke Cold war, Relationships, Sex, and the Crimea. Her Accent wasn't very thick, but it still allowed her to be politically incorrect. I was using, and I'm sure misusing big words. knowing she wouldn't catch on. The Parking meter turned out to be the Lord and Savior of the Evening, as hers was set to expire and I certainly didn't want her to get a ticket, like I did.  She went Shami style with the perfume, but still smelled good. We thanked each other for not Wasting Each other's time, and more importantly  I learned, Should I ever get into the end zone the proper procedure to do the Cross..... Scandalous, The Israeli AG wants to probe the Netanyahous over Bottle deposit money, Their accusing Sarah of pocketing around $1000 of State Cheese. The ABB (Anybody but BiBi) needs more ammunition.........According to Expert AM. The Patriot side is the right side for the Super bowl..........

My Joel Osteen

 moment came in the form of shoveling this morning. Complaining to myself about the onerous task, as I was meticulously shoveling the sidewalk, and driveway. It hit me how lucky and fortunate I am that g0d gave me the strength and health to be able to shovel, made the job much easier, as a Bonus I got some Free Exercise........Brunch, has become one of my Favorite pastimes. I can't recall the last time I ever went to Brunch, but EVERY single girl, I've been speaking is always " Doing Brunch", just a small white lie to Impress girl's, it's not like I lie to them at tell them I'm really Rich and leave out the part of  "if I were living in the Eritrea"........ Witnessing a Discussion about shoveling  Between a home owner and a Shoveler. They were arguing over  FIVE dollars. Uncertain what the going rate for shoveling is, but the  $50 for the Whole driveway and area the kid was offering seemed fair,  especially under the circumstances. However to be paid $50 for about an hour maybe an Hour and half's work Can seem pricy........ Last note of the Bibi- Obama Feud. Alan West summed it up best by saying  Trying to Instruct the White House on Manners , recalls What Mark Twain said about trying to teach a pig to sing: It wastes your time and annoys the pig...........

How great would it

  Be if Mike Kryshweski turned out to be Like Bill Cosby. For certain  it is only alleged that he was boning Pam Valvano while Jimmy V was Never giving up, and The Wizard of West wood John Wooden never knew That UCLA booster Sam Gilbert was showering his players gifts and  $50 per hour Jobs Painting houses in the 1970's........The shaky relationship between the Obama and Netanyahou  administration , has led many people I know to refer to Obama as a Mooslim and Anti- Semitic. When one makes that argument, they minimize the his actual disdain for Netanyahou and the Security of Israel. Their is no question that Obama is NOT anti-Semitic, as he is surrounded by far left leaning Jews, of which their religion is Liberalism First. They shape up his ME policy that is perilous to the State of Israel. The Sentiment amongst the Liberal Jewish by name only Elite, that claim they have Israel's best interest at heart, is that Israel needs to be Punished for their policy of Safeguarding their citizens, against Arab Incitement and violence. As mentioned before Like Begin with Iraq, Netanyahou's Legacy will be Weather he prevented the Iranians from Going Nuclear or not. No Question he will incur the Wrath of Obama, and it probably will be painful especially at the UN Security council. BiBi not only should speak before  a joint session of congress, against the evils of a bad deal, but he should powerfully outline and deliver the message on the Severity and consequences should G0d forbid Iran get the Bomb. With the weight of the Entire Jewish people on his shoulders, History will not be kind to Mr. Netanyahou if he does not doing EVERYTHING in his power to prevent that, even if  that includes pissing off Mr. Obama........

The Patriots

     who won 45-7 , needed to deflate the footballs to beat the Colts, as much as Nixon who carried 49 states in the 72 elections needed to spy on the democrats and break into Watergate.....With nothing doing on the social end, and the war being over, I promised to take one for the team, in a form of an overly Bubbly woman of the Tribe, doing a prescription audit, Inquiring how Bubbly? " Don't worry about it". I will be hosting her for the audit,Tuesday...... A reader asks whats proper Knocking on the door protocol? Three Loud Knocks, wait 30 Seconds before knocking again, and after that anything goes.........

Peace with Honor,

         After Three long months, The war is over at Gideon's, Just like Japan I unconditionally surrendered, but with honor.  A lot has happened Since the war began in Nov... however If this is the worst thing that happens to me in  life, I have to consider myself especially lucky...... Unbeknownst to a friend of mine, she tried hooking me up with a girl that so happened to be an Ex of mine's BEST friend. A clear violation of Dating Codex. Turned out well we had a really good mutual excuse not go out, Everyone is happy...... Four times in the History of the United States has a Foreign leader been invited to address BOTH houses of congress. Winston Churchill, Yitzhak Rabin ( his solider in the army of peace speech) Benjamin Netanyahou in 1996 and 2011 and now he's been invited again, The liberal world in Israel and abroad are in uproar. How can he do this to Obama, and how he's straining US- Israeli relations. Firstly for the perfidious Israeli left, This is a great honor to you're country and not Netanyahou , and to the American left, He did  NOT invite himself. Bibi will not only win in upcoming elections, He's gonna win BIG.............If you break it, Do you own it?......Shopping at the Heimseche Supermarket The Mushroom Salad that i was carrying slipped out of my hand, With the plastic container cracking, After taking a whiff of the food, I wasn't to disappointed, However the Heimesche insisted I pay, of which I understood it was my fault, but.......

Nothing

can be more discouraging than to be told  " you look like crap"  fifteen minutes prior to a blind date. Desperately needing  the bathroom (#1), I stopped at a favorite Customers of mine on 86th street. Unshaven and looking a Little disheveled ( perhaps i always do) the friendly store staff asked me what i was doing here and why do i look like crap.  Confidence less and On my way to meet a date on 89th street. Early as usual, i was the first patron at the lounge that resembled a scene from a Charles Dickens Novel, The Creaking Floors, Old long mirrors, Odd paintings and the high velvet red couches. As she entered she couldn't miss me, though i kind of wish she did, didn't matter that i looked like crap, now i felt like that too. We went through about an hours conversation that made 0.0 sense, with exception to me telling her the reason i admire my father is that he can make #2 anywhere. The highlight of the night was me going to the bathroom to check out my seven new tinder matches, she probably was checking her new matches as well. She thanked me for walking her home, I thanked her for walking. Perhaps a few more drinks would have garnered me an invitation upstairs, but i never drink and drive and she was probably thinking the same......

Mohammed

, will be coming down from the mountain, and church on Sunday will be church everyday. Almost home free, I'm at a halfway house from the Gideon's sentence, and besides my knees hurting,  stomach imploding, and systems off schedule, Normalcy is approaching...... . "The stigma of Tinder has changed, and despite what it sounds like, it is not for hooking up purposes solely, but just a short cut that avoids the tedious process of filling out profiles" - I couldn't agree more with a Bisexual young lady, whom was explaining to me the process. Fascinated how she dates both guys and girls, how she juggles both interests. Despite the fact she's not especially fit, I still really wanted  to hear more... A click with an Exotic non Practicing Babylonian Princess, left me curious. After some witty banter, we decided to Spend our Saturday night together at a mid level Upper East Eatery.  Attractive, and on time, it was love at first site, not really but she did look really good with her accentuating curves, she was worldly, Highly intelligent, left winged, and a Typical Over Achiever. When asking her in the most Flattering way " Why still single at 40"? She wasn't annoyed, but made the point that people assume their is something wrong. We exchanged  relationship stories.She taught me the concept of " Ghosting" ( it's when you're in a relationship or semi relationship and just basically disappear and not text back). She mentioned she writes a lot, I held back from telling her I do as well ,I can't imagine how she would react , reading my " uncle Joe Poetry" .We went back to arguing politics and Supreme court Justices, I impressed myself by knowing Eight out of Nine. Wrapping up the night the talk shifted to Yoga and Persian profanity, and with her unmatching me several hours later, She confirmed we will not be breaking bread again ...... However.......