Neither Snow, Nor Rain

 or gloom of night...... Would Keep from Rescheduling again with Date B  Saturday night. Despite Really poor Driving conditions I trekked out to the Upper east Side. She was the Tall Blonde waiting for me in the back, as opposed to the Tall brunette standing in the same area, " She has a ring on her finger"  With so many commonalities we reminisced about how odd it was to be making Melava ve Melaka and Shehyecheanu references on a Tinder date. Took her a while to realize that We did go out once before around Ten Years ago, and the only thing we both remembered from that night is that We did NOT hook up. She seemed happy to hear that I was the Tallest in my family, but probably should have left out the poorest too part . With the bar getting really loud, We decided to call it a night. Walking her Home, That's where the evening ended " Get Home Safe, See you in another Ten Years"...........

The Forecast called

 For  Rain in the form of  her needing to be up really early to catch a morning train, and not wanting to spend the evening " keep looking at her watch ".  With several ways to reply to that I chose the safest and most self depreciating answer  "or maybe, I can be really really boring" - Her instincts say that wont be the case. Her Instinct happen to be right. The fact of the matter is that this is really our second date, We went out a few years ago, but Were acting like the Syrians after the Six day war Pretending that it didn't happen. The Rain out make up date is called for Early evening Saturday night, one hour after sunset, of course Weather permitting.......

Sports Teams

 Hate it when they are scheduled to play on back to back nights.They are tired, not very focused and don't get much time to prepare. Dating in similar fashion can be compared to that, Therefore i try to never schedule on consecutive nights. So Scheduling a Twi- Night Doubleheader would Seemingly Sound outrageous. After meticulous planning,and mapping out the terrain  that left no Stone upturned, Well just the  "I may get lucky" Stone. I headed out for my 630 Date at the Stone Rose in Columbus circle. Arriving a little early,It was probably my Imagination' actually for sure my imagination that the beautiful waitress was flirting me,by being overtly nice, but none the less it in enhanced the confidence. Date A walked in looking real fit, and was immediately apologetic, for standing me up the last time, Due to her "emergency" or in dating terms  Something better came up. The conversation was much of the same, and she got instantly hotter, the second she mentioned her Therapist. Asking the what are you're non negotiable of Guys dating question, She thought about it for a second and then said someone Obese, or even someone whose slightly overweight, The knife was put in my heart, as I was already planning out our future, We continued going through the motions of a first date, that neither of us will be getting lucky at, and it was clearly time to wrap it up once the conversation shifted to Arabic profanity, and famous Canadians from her Native land. It Surprised me she wasn't aware of Rick Hansen, the Inspiration to the Man in Motion song by Fellow Canadians John Parr and David Forster , but she did raise Money for the Terry Fox Run in the Early 80's as a kid, which I thought was great. Finishing up way ahead of Schedule, left me with a few extra minutes to rest up before the Second game, until......








 

And Harbona

            Shall always be remembered for good.... Despite our Encounter being a colossal failure, Their isn't enough gratitude I can give to MJG ( Mom Jeans Girl ) for introducing me to the Stone Rose Lounge in Columbus circle, around four years ago..... With nothing else to talk about except the weather, I am just suggesting that " it'd be fun to meet up" and most girls are on board, Especially to someone being accommodating , and  willing to meet up in their area. A Tall Brazilian was on schedule for Monday night. Walking in a couple minutes late, Her Photos completely belied her actual appearance, and i made a strong mention to tell her that perhaps the camera does lie. She didn't have that Brazilian look,but  did make the important point of mention that she does wear bikinis. Our Exchange continued,and when i asked her what she was looking for, She replied " write down Fifteen things that you're looking for, then cut them down to Ten, five and finally the  Three that are most important Hers were Witty( Intelligent and funny), Good family and friends relations, and basically someone active, Mine were Big Boobs, Bigger Boobs, and Biggest Boobs.  Of course it was a joke,  Walking her Home, She implied that i can find out more about her on the next date. Great will keep in touch...... Two Messages later, Were outta touch,Were outta touch.....( sorry couldn't resist the cheesiness )

Time to Jump

      ship from the online experiment yet again, Meeting a girl in LI, was like like buying a stock from a cold caller in early 2000's no chance for anything to come to fruition. Lose a little money and move on . Cute and fun, We Broke bread over some Matzoh Ball Soup, Sour Pickles, and some banter.   She politely offered to pay, of which i declined and insisted on next time, Knowing of course their will literally not be a next time or even Church on Sunday, Despite her being a good christian.......The  on line conversations keep getting better and better. Never did I realize how intriguing the Cold weather conversations can be, none of course ending with me warming them up.......Feeling like a Shabbos Goy for one of my friends, clicking the Friend Request button on Instagram for him that way he can claim his phone was hacked into and he didn't do it , I think it'll work out for him the same way Someone pretended to be Carlos Danger on Anthony Wieners Account.........

Where do Germs Come from ?

     Germany ?....... Alkoa presents you make the call...At the DR on Kings Highway, A Syrian kid leaves a couple of items on the counter than goes to get a couple more things, While hes doing that a small line forms at the register. As he gets back, he goes to the front of the line drawing the ire of the Russian Patron. The Kid maintains he was in line and just went to get something, while the Russian disagreed. Is the kid on line from when he puts his  initial stuff down or from when he has all his stuff?...........A Special thanks to Horowitznation for hosting me for Shabbos Dinner. They Made me feel like a real  Katszenlson or an ardent Zionist Assigning me the Same Chair as  Likud MK Moshe Feiglin,  when they hosted him.  Excellent menu, Some peculiar Health Tea, Fascinating Israel Stories, Made me really want to take back all the making fun of  the Cowboys losing, I'm sure, ill forget by next season......The Great EEE will be looking to break his own record for Half Marathon Finishes in the short shorts itchy A$$ category. Needing to repay him for all the sagely woman advice he gave me, I have given him Valuable  bathroom advice, that's not available to the public, Hopefully the episode from last year will not be repeated...... Do you Send a Happy Birthday message to an Ex Girl friend. Rabbi Willie Agus, gives the typical Jewish Answer  " It Depends" . Since me and HRG had an amicable break up, and were not the best match for each other then for sure its acceptable  "have the besst Birthday- may you're song always be sung"..........

an Old Idea

 Sometime ago I wanted to mail in a Show Suggestion for Curb you're enthusiasm. The basic Plot is that Larry for some sort of reason or another( maybe cause of a girl, or celebrity friend ) wants  to try Islam and goes to the Mosque, not wanting to remove his shoes a minor riot nearly ensues. He is caught up with the bad food odor, and the holes in the peoples socks. Completely out of sync in the prayers, the guy bending down in front of him Farts in his face, causing Larry to react, and when looking to his side he thinks another Muslim is checking him out. Waiting for the service to end, an awkward Larry cant find his shoes and begins harassing the worshipers. Not being able to find his shoes an angry Larry vows to get to the bottom of this........ '(Some more coincidences through the show maybe running into the farter buying pepto bismol  or the mooslim that was checking him out in a compromising place) .. Larry comes back to the mosque the ultra mooslim  unshaven with a turban a mask and impossible to remove boots - promoting the worshipers to run out of the mosque thinking hes gonna blow them up.........